


The REAL disaster of the Ultimate Academy

by pretzelmintz



Series: The Hope’s Peak Experience [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (???? ish), (thanks miu), Bad Jokes, Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony - Freeform, Dirty Jokes, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Group Chat Fic, Implied Sexual Content, JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Male Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Multi, N O D E A T H, No Smut, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Rare Pairings, Secret Relationship, Sexual Jokes, Strong Language, There are a lot of ships, all dr3 characters (except tengan) are there, along with the other danganronpa characters, also oumasai cause i can, dr1 2 and v3 characters are all in the same grade, drv3 - Freeform, gonta is best boy, hoo boi, it gets gayer, jin's the principal, kirumi is best mom, might be a bit ooc :(, more to be added - Freeform, no honorifics, none of them are straight, slowburn, the characters will be reffered to as they are in the english version, they all go to the ultimate academy, they're all about 16-18 yrs old, totally original, uuhhh maybe? spoilers?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-06 05:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 63,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12810426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretzelmintz/pseuds/pretzelmintz
Summary: Kokichi Omaadded15 peopleto the chatKokichi Omachanged the group name toThe REAL Disaster of the Ultimate AcademyKokichi Omachanged their name toomaGODomaGODchanged15 namesomaGOD: welcome!! to your worst nightmare ;)))Kokichi begins a group chat for the members of the Harmony Dorm. You can guess how that turns out.





	1. Maki kills Oma, what else is New

**Author's Note:**

> hooo wee! First Danganronpa fic! This series has destroyed me  
> Anyways uuuhhhh i live for group chat fics and the DRV3 gang is just,,,, so,,,, perfect,,,
> 
> just to make things clear,,,
> 
> Rantaro: peel the avocado  
> Kaede: ultimatePENIS  
> Shuichi: shylock homos  
> Kokichi: omaGOD  
> Miu: xxxTIDDIESxxx  
> Ryoma: say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps  
> _asshole  
> Gonta: they-followin-me-ma  
> Kaito: S P A C E J A M  
> Angie: god is dead and we killed him  
> Kirumi: mothergoose  
> Tenko: catch these lesbian hands  
> Himiko: Hermione GAYnger  
> Kiyo: minions are beautiful  
> Kiibo: www.do-robots-have-dicks.com  
> Tsumugi: shirogaNYA  
> Maki: delete your account
> 
> OKAY!!! LET'S BEGIN!!

**_Kokichi Oma_ ** _added **15 people** to the chat_

**_Kokichi Oma_ ** _changed the group name to **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

**_Kokichi Oma_ ** _changed their name to **omaGOD**_

 

_**omaGOD** changed **15 names**_

**omaGOD** : welcome!! to your worst nightmare ;))

 

 **omaGOD** : I am the god of this land, bow to me

 

 **omaGOD** : I sincerely hope you enjoy the titles I have provided for you ;))

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I hate this

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : when you say it out loud it sounds exactly the same

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I h a t e t h I s

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : actually im not to mad about this

 

 **shylock homos** : …its fitting tbh

 

 **minions are beautiful** : I fail to comprehend why I was surprised

 

 **mothergoose** : No comment.

 

 **peel the avocado** : this is my name. til the day I die. avocado

 

 **peel the avocado** : you’ll never let that joke die will you

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I mean,,, I guess

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : its not wrong

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : ugh

 

 **peel the avocado** : DSSKKHEGGEKSHSHS

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I would kill you but I think maki would beat me to it

 

 **Hawumaki :3** : fuck you

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : oh my g o d

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : oma why

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : do you have a death wish

 

 **Hawumaki :3** : die in a fire

 

 **omaGOD** : if you don’t like it, just change it yknow

 

 **_Hawumaki :3_ ** _changed their name to **kill yourself**_

 

 **omaGOD** : ouch

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : thats harsh, maki roll

 

 **_kill yourself_ ** _changed their name to **delete your account**_

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : …better

 

 **shirogaNYA** : its surprisingly more appropriate tbh

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta not understand, why gonta’s name weird?

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : oh god

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I hope you guys realize that kirumi will literally murder us if we taint gonta in any way

 

 **mothergoose** : that is correct

 

 **minions are beautiful** : gonta stay away

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ur to pure for this

 

 **I AM ATUWAT** : I dont understand my name??

 

 **omaGOD** : say it out loud

 

 **I AM ATUWAT** : ok

 

 **I AM ATUWAT** : WAIT

 

 **I AM ATUWAT** : HOW D A R E

 

 **omaGOD** : ;)))

 

 **shylock homos** : oh geez

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : PFFFFFFFTT

 

 **shirogaNYA** : thats actually a great pun

 

 **minions are beautiful** : do not encourage him

 

 **I AM ATUWAT** : I don’t like my name :(

 

 **omaGOD** : awwwwwee did I offend atua? Just change it

 

 ** _I am ATUWAT_** changed their name to **_god is dead and we killed him_**

**ultimatePENIS** : oh

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : did not expect that

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : is ur fault oma >:T

 

 **omaGOD** : peasant I a m god

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : well angies nickname is about to be correct

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : makis on her way to kill you rn

 

 **omaGOD** : fuck

 

 **shirogaNYA** : rip

 

 **shylock homos** : rip

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : rip

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : rip

**catch these lesbian hands** : rip

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : rip

 

 **peel the avocado** : rip

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : rip!! :D

 

 **omaGOD** : GONTA WHY

 

 **minions are beautiful** : oh so t h a t s what those noises are

 

 **minions are beautiful** : shes sprinting down the hall, I presume

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : say ur prayers

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : god I wish that were me

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : you want maki to chase after you??

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : no I want her to fucking kill me

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : …oh

 

 **shylock homos** : …thats rough buddy

 

 **shirogaNYA** : IS THAT AN AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER REFERENCE I LOVE THAT ANIME

 

 **minions are beautiful** : did

 

 **minions are beautiful** : did you just call ATLA an a n i m e

 

 **shirogaNYA** : um

 

 **peel the avocado** : oh my god

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : that’s gotta be illegal in some countries

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : actually maki you have my full permission to kill tsumugi as well

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : DAMN

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : no! do not hurt tsumugi D:

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : kokichi is okay though :D

 

 **shirogaNYA** : GONTA OMG

**minions are beautiful** : WHAT AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : O W O W H A T S T H I S

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : PFFFTT WELL SAID MY BOY

 

 **delete your account** : I see kirumi has taught him well

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : FINALLY A DEGENERATE SAID SOMETHING SMART

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : DNSBHDUKDYUIETYDSSF SAVAGE

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I think I just heard shuichi scream really loudly holy shit

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : you okay buddy

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : thats what that was???

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I thought it was the sound of maki finally fucking murdering kokichi thanks for getting my hopes up

 

 **omaGOD** : guys stop ur scaring the baby

 

 **shylock homos** : what baby?

 

 **omaGOD** : me

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : im deactivating

 

 **mothergoose** : apologies for interrupting your… conversation

 

 **mothergoose** : however

 

 **mothergoose** : I hope you all know class starts in 5 min

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : W H A T

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : shit

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : H I M I K O

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : we are dead

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : like oma :D

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : hes safe for now

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : lucky for you, oma, im pretty sure killing in class is illegal

 

 **delete your account** : jokes on you, my hatred of oma surpasses the law

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : GUYS WE’RE GONNA BE LATE

 

 **shylock homos** : jokes on you guys im already here and class has started

 

 **shylock homos** : gonta and kirumi are already here too

 

 **shirogaNYA** : h o w did you get there so fast

 

 **omaGOD** : wait if class has started for you why are you texting? >:3

 

 **shylock homos** : uh

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : b u s t e d

 

 **delete your account** : kaito you aren’t even dressed yet so shut the fuck up

 

 **omaGOD** : D A M N

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : MAKI KILLS AGAIN

 

 **peel the avocado** : A BODY HAS BEEN DISCOVERED

 

 **shylock homos** : this was a mistake

 

 **delete your account** : just like oma

 

 **peel the avocado** : AND THERE GOES ANOTHER KILL

 

 **omaGOD** : I regret everything


	2. Evisceration and Tit Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two players join the arena that is the group chat. Oma makes more jokes. Everyone is unimpressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here they are  
> i was so excited to work on this that i finished it in a day :')  
> so heres another chapter!!
> 
> ALSO!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT ON THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! I WAS SO BLOWN AWAY AND IM GLAD YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!
> 
> ANYWAYS HERE WE GO

\---Friday, November 24th, 7:21pm---

 

 **omaGOD** : brace for impact

 

 **shylock homos** : huh

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : what

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : oma what did you DO

 

 **omaGOD** : its coming

 

 **shirogaNYA** : that’s ominous

 

 **minions are beautiful** : what are you blabbering about this time?

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : if a murderous clown doesn’t come bursting through this door rn and fucking killing me im suing all of you and THEN killing myself

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : dude fr are you okay

 

 **Say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : no

 

 **omaGOD** : fuck its already here

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HEY DICK TWATS

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : oh geez

 

 **shylock homos** : WAIT IS THAT M I U

 

 **delete your account** : who else would have a username like that

 

 **shylock homos** : …fair point

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I expect nothing and I am still let down

 

 **minions are beautiful** : run

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH TO INVITE ME HERE YOU DICKLESS FUCK

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : I have a feeling shes talking about oma

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : y o u  d o n t  s a y

 

 **omaGOD** : dickless?

 

 **omaGOD** : i am sure someone here can confirm that that is not the case

 

 **omaGOD** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **shirogaNYA** : they can W H A T

 

 **peel the avocado** : WAIT WHO CAN CONFIRM THAT

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : um

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : anyway miu why weren’t you here this morning? Or all day for that matter

 

 **omaGOD** : she was masturbating. all day

 

 **shirogaNYA** : SHE WAS W H A T

 

 **minions are beautiful** : why are you surprised?

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : how do you know that?

 

 **omaGOD** : I dont. But we’re talking about miu so its safe to guess >:3

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : for once thats not the case

 

 **peel the avocado** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR ONCE

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I had detention :P

 

 **minions are beautiful** : …all day?

 

 **shirogaNYA** : not surprised

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : why tho

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : MIU DONT ANSWER THAT

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : SPARE HER INNOCENCE

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : chill the fuck out

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I "apparently" destroyed something very important, nbd

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : usami yelled at me

 

 **omaGOD** : wow that must have been utterly terrifying

 

 **omaGOD** : having a fucking rabbit chew you out

 

 **omaGOD** : “miuw, i am vewy mad at youw. Im sowwy but I must puwish youw”

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : FDFSDTDJHTREAYKJRDTYWUET

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : howe abowe youw stowp befowe I kick youw dick in :33

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : S T O P

 

 **peel the avocado** : oh god

 

 **minions are beautiful** : BURN IT

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : holy fuck hes speaking like tsumugi someone save us

 

 **omaGOD** : howe dawe youw 3:<

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : shut the fuck up hetero

 

 **omaGOD** : what the f u c k did you just call me

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : ANYWAYS YALL BITCHES BETTER FILL ME IN ON THIS DAMN THING  


 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WHAT WERE YALL UP TO WHILE I WAS GONE

 

 **peel the avocado** : um

 

 **delete your account** : im not explaining anything to anyone who uses "y’all"

 

 **shylock homos** : …thats fair

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : understandable have a nice day

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : count me out

 

 **minions are beautiful** : allow me ,ahem,

 

 **delete your account** : did you just fucking type “ahem”

 

 **minions are beautiful** : shut

 

 **minions are beautiful** : as I was saying

 

 **minions are beautiful** : maki chased after oma, ryoma wants to die, tsumugi called ATLA and anime, all of us were late to class, shuichi was busted for texting in class and maki killed both oma and kaito

 

 **minions are beautiful** : so basically, same shit as always

 

 **omaGOD** : ouch

 

 **shirogaNYA** : hes not wrong

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : yknow maki the fact that oma is still alive rn means you suck ass at ur job

 

 **delete your account** : oh please I think we all know who sucks the most ass here

 

 **shirogaNYA** : miu

 

 **minions are beautiful** : miu

 

 **shylock homos** : miu

 

 **omaGOD** : miu

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : miu

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : miu

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : am I supposed to be offended by that??

 

 **shylock homos** : wait you “destroyed something important”? what was it

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : um

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : hello! Sorry for being late, I was searching for keebo, has anyone seen him? :D

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : wait

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : W A I T

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

 

 **peel the avocado** : MIU YOU DIDN’T

  
  
**say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : HOLY FUCK

 

 **shirogaNYA** : OH JEESUS

 

 **minions are beautiful** : OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : WAIT A MINUTE DID Y

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : HOLY S H I T

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : H I M I K O

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : what happen to keebo? D:

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM

 

 **omaGOD** : SHE PROLLY STUCK HER DICK IN HIM TO HARD

 

 **minions are beautiful** : wh

 

 **omaGOD** : well keebo don’t got a dick so

 

 **delete your account** : ill decide if I kill you or not on my way to your room

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : maki dont

 

 **delete your account** : fine

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ^couple goals :DD

 

 **delete your account** : tsumugi do you want to die

 

 **shirogaNYA** : eep

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : guys I can hear gonta sobbing next door

 

 **shirogaNYA** : OH NO

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : WHY DID MIU KILL KEEBO??? D’:

 

 **shirogaNYA** : brace yourselves

 

 **mothergoose** : I demand an explanation as to why I can hear gonta crying.

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : fuck we’re dead

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : nice knowing you guys

 

 **minions are beautiful** : rather, it was not nice knowing you guys

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : kirumi would not kill us, do not worry :D

 

 **peel the avocado** : you seem to severely underestimate her mom powers

 

 **shylock homos** : we seem to be getting off topic

 

 **shylock homos** : we seem to be forgetting that Keebo IS DEAD

 

 **omaGOD** : he can finally rust in peace :’)

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : actually maki im allowing you to go to omas room and knee him in the dick

 

 **delete your account** : fucking finally

 

 **shylock homos** : again,,, KEEBO IS DEAD

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HES NOT DEAD CHILL THE FUCK OUT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : SOUDA IS FIXING HIM RN

 

 **shirogaNYA** : what did you even do to him?

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I ran into him in the hallway

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : n he got so scared he flew against the wall

 

 **minions are beautiful** : that was quite an underwhelming answer

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : thats it? :I

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wait how did you bump into him so hard he flew against the wall??

 

 **omaGOD** : pics or it didn’t happen

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : idk ask mahiru

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : anyways it was fucking hilarious

 

 **shylock homos** : you left keebo _alone_? With _souda_?

 

 **shylock homos** : thats a terrible idea wtf

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : chill. I told him if he tries anything dumb with keebo ill eviscerate him, cut his fucking dick off n stick it in the wound

 

 **peel the avocado** : W H A T

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : GCDFYDYRSUYRESWEUSSTFDF

 

 **delete your account** : NOW THAT’S SOMETHING ID LIKE TO SEE

 

 **mothergoose** : sometimes I question your sanity.

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : SCREW THAT IM CONSTANTLY QUESTIONING IT MIU WHAT THE F U C K

 

 **minions are beautiful** : that’s… creative

 

 **omaGOD** : “sometimes… i want (miu) to fucking eviscerate me and then make sweet sweet love to my open festering wounds as i lay bleeding out screaming in agony waiting for death’s merciful embrace :333”

 

 **peel the avocado** : WH

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **XxxTIDDIESxxx** : o ng

 

 **delete your account** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **shylock homos** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **minions are beautiful** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **omaGOD** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **shirogaNYA** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **peel the avocado** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : C H I L L  O U T

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : itl be fine

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : it better fucking be

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : hello everyone. Apologies for my absence, I was having some… difficulties. Please fill me in on what I missed.

 

 **omaGOD** : NO!!! DO NOT CUT HIS DICK OFF!!!

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : what?

 

 **shirogaNYA** : omg his u s e r n a m e

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : keebo is not dead! :D

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : of course not. What is going on? What is wrong with my name?

 

 **omaGOD** : you like it? ;D

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I do not know how to respond to it.

 

 **omaGOD** : anyways thats not important

 

 **omaGOD** : what is important though is this:

 

 **omaGOD** : how the heck did you fly into the wall after simply bumping into miu??

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : oh

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : you see…

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I got startled and flustered so I jumped, then hit the wall.

 

 **shirogaNYA** : flustered?

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HE GOT A FACE FULL OF MY HONKERS

 

 **shirogaNYA** : u know what forget I asked

 

 **omaGOD** : wow keebs. miu must have given you her

 

 **delete your account** : don’t you dare

 

 **omaGOD** : graTITude

 

 **delete your account** : and im out

 

 **delete your account** : fuck you guys im going to bed

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : same here

 

 **shirogaNYA** : bad post op

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : im too old for this shit

 

 **omaGOD** : WAIT WHY IS EVERYONE LEAVING ME ALONE

 

 **omaGOD** : I cant BOOBlieve you guys!!

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I think one of my brain cells just popped

 

 **omaGOD** : what? are my puns causing a NIPPLE effect?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : im going to sleep

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : and I pray to atua that one of us has the human decency to murder you in your sleep

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : dw ill cast a “shut the fuck up and die” spell

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : usually id scold you for swearing but for once I applaud you

 

 **minions are beautiful** : god please let me fall into such a deep slumber my body dies and my soul escapes to the astral plane where I never have to see oma ever again

 

 **shylock homos** : ...goodnight everyone

 

 **omaGOD** : aww goodnight shuichi! :DD

 

 **shylock homos** : everyone but you

 

 **omaGOD** : aww man

 

 **omaGOD** : well

 

 **omaGOD** : might as well get some bREAST ;)))

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna explain the nicknames I've given each character
> 
> rantaro: ...avocado  
> kaede: say it out loud  
> shuichi: gay detective lmao  
> kokichi: oh my god  
> miu: cause.. yknow  
> ryoma: he's short  
> gonta: that one vine where the dude says the bugs are following him  
> angie: cause. atua  
> kirumi: mom  
> tenko: gay and WILL kick your ass  
> himiko: gay magic girl  
> kiyo: i don't. even know  
> keebo: do i even need to explain  
> shirogaNYA: she's a weeb  
> maki: cause its maki


	3. From Sweet Confessions of Love to Minion Fucking in the Span of 5 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi and Shuichi make an (accidental) huge revelation. Kaito's a dumbass. Oma's a little shit. Kiyo is crying. Angie is the Ultimate Artist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think my soul left my body  
> anyways I'm in hyper focus rn soo I COMPLETED THIS IS 4 HOURS  
> I HAVENT EATEN  
> I AM VIBRATING
> 
> school starts again tomorrow so chances are the next chapter won't be here immediately so heres a longer chapter to satisfy instead
> 
> if i can, ill try and get another chapter up either late tonight or tomorrow
> 
> thanks again for all the support!!
> 
> (also for those of you who came here from the oumasai tag, heres what you've been waiting for)
> 
> ;)))

\---Saturday, November 25th, 3:00am---

 

 

 **shylock homos** : babe

 

 **shylock homos** : the love of my life

 

 **shylock homos** : did you take my hoodie??

 

 **omaGOD** : …nooo

 

 **shylock homos** : was that a lie?

 

 **omaGOD** : …yeeesss

 

 **shylock homos** : I knew it

 

 **omaGOD** : IM SORRY

 

 **omaGOD** : I PROMISE I ONLY WEAR IT WHEN IM ALONE

 

 **shylock homos** : fine but please bring it back soon okay?

 

 **omaGOD** : you got it shu~

 

 **shylock homos** : night

 

 **omaGOD** : night~

 

 **omaGOD** : wait

 

 **shylock homos** : WAIT  


**omaGOD** : W A I T

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : DRSAERTSYJETHMFTDYFHRSGETAQERYJTU

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : DFSRSEYWRSRSDJXFDYREQRYKUTTITYTDFXRWASYRTTH

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : HOLY FCUCKGG  
  
**Hermione GAYnger** : YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

 

 **shylock homos** : WAIT GUYS S T OP ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : FUCK BITCH SHIT CUNT MOTHERFUCKING FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : VGMFCFSTERQWGYUYIHJVBCXSREWRTYUIJNMBVCXDSE

 

 **minions are beautiful** : G O D H A S S P O K E N!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : GOD Is A L I V E AND W E R E V I V ED HIM!!!!!

 

 **omaGOD** : STOP SCREAMING UR GONNA WAKE EVERYONE UP  
  
**Hermione GAYnger** : SURPRISE BITCH WERE ALL AWAKE

 

 **shirogaNYA** : SHIP HAS SAILED!!!! SHIP HAS SAILED!!! SHIP!!! HAS!!! SAILED!!!

 

 **shirogaNYA** : SHIP!!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!! C A N O N!!!!!!!!

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **mothergoose** : MY SONS! I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU!

 

 **shylock homos** : KIRUMI YOU TOO???

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : Yay! Gonta is proud of friends and hope you have very good relationship :D

 

 **omaGOD** : OK NGL GONTA BUT YOU JUST MADE ME CRY

 

 **peel the avocado** : I FUCKING KNEW IT  
  
**peel the avocado** : THERE WAS WAYYY TO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN YOU TWO TO BE HET

 

 **shylock homos** : K AEDE DTOP SCREAMUG

 

 **shylock homos** : ITS 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : WHY DID U NOT TELL US???????  


**omaGOD** : WE WERE GONNA TELL U EVENTUALLY

 

 **shylock homos** : BUT WE WERE SCARED

 

 **peel the avocado** : wait. you were scared?

 

 **peel the avocado** : scared we would reject you guys?

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : we would never reject you for that!

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : im so happy for you both!!

 

 **omaGOD** : really??

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : yes!!

 

 **mothergoose** : it takes much courage to reveal a relationship such as yours to friends. you and shuichi are such opposites, it is only natural we would be shocked.

 

 **mothergoose** : yet that is why it works. I can see you are both very close. we would never reject such friends due to a relationship. we applaud you both and wish you a happy relationship.

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta agree with kirumi! gonta is proud of shuichi and oma :D

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : you may be degenerate males but im still proud!

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : yep

 

 **minions are beautiful** : what she said

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : exactly

 

 **peel the avocado** : :DD

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : well done!!

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : ya got that right!

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : what mom said!

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : nice job shuichi!

 

 **shylock homos** : wow

 

 **omaGOD** : andddd im crying

 

 **omaGOD** : thank you guys

 

 **mothergoose** : anyways, it is 3 am. I advise we all get to bed.

 

 **shirogaNYA** : you got it

 

 **delete your account** : alright

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : goodnight everybody!

 

 **shylock homos** : good night

 

 **shylock homos** : night babe :)

 

 **omaGOD** : night :D

 

 

\---Saturday, November 25th, 8:14am---

 

 

 **omaGOD** : gooooood morning everyone!

 

 **omaGOD** : annddd good morning shu :)

 

 **shylock homos** : good morning oma

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wow last night was wild

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : that was a thing

 

 **minions are beautiful** : indeed

 

 **omaGOD** : ANYWAYS

 

 **omaGOD** : I HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED TODAY

 

 **omaGOD** : WE’RE GONNA PLAY A GAME

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : hoooo boi

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : dear god

 

 **delete your account** : sigh

 

 **delete your account** : well ive got nothing better to do so

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : yeet I guess

 

 **omaGOD** : so everyone is playing??

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I don’t think kirumi is, shes doing volunteer work around the school

 

 **omaGOD** : figures

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : soo whats the game??

 

 **omaGOD** : IM GLAD YOU ASKED

 

 **omaGOD** : im gonna write a sentence or a google search that one of you guys have said or searched before

 

 **omaGOD** : and you’ve gotta guess who said or searched it!!! :D

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : oh jeez

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : regrets

 

 **delete your account** : mistakes were made

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YKNOW THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUN

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : you think?

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : wait a minute

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : i get that you would remember the dumb shit weve said before but

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : how do you know our google searches??

 

 **omaGOD** : cause you guys suck at passwords lmao

 

 **delete your account** : wait

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : DID YOU SNOOP AROUND OUR SCHOOL PADS??

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : YOU B I T C H

 

 **peel the avocado** : ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT ABORT

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : THIS WAS A MISTAKE

 

 **omaGOD** : CHILL OUT JESUS CHRIST

 

 **omaGOD** : I ONLY LOOKED AT UR GOOGLE SEARCHES

 

 **delete your account** : EXACTLY

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : IVE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE

 

 **omaGOD** : weeelll if you’ve got nothing to hide, why are you freaking out? ;D

 

 **shylock homos** : busted

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : SHUICHI HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : lets just get on with it

 

 

 **omaGOD** : thank you kaede!! ahem

 

 **omaGOD** : LETS BEGIN

 

 **omaGOD** : first one is a quote:

 

 **omaGOD** : “I wanna be like buzz lightyear. yknow, the first guy on the moon.”

 

 **peel the avocado** : GFDRTSHGFGVGCXSRTUYUKNBVCXDSAW?UIOKNBVCX

 

 **peel the avocado** : FORGET WHAT I SAID EARLIER THIS IS PERFECT

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : IM PSIISSINGG

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I DUNNO MUCH ABOUT SPACE BUT IM PRETTY SURE THATS 100% WRONG

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WHICH FUCKING DUMBASS SAID THAT

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : WHO THE HELL

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : OOFF

 

 **delete your account** : wow. you guys are dumb

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : ??

 

 **delete your account** : its obviously kaito

 

 **shirogaNYA** : W H A T

 

 **minions are beautiful** : how are you surprised?

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : MAKI ROLL HOW COULD YOU

 

 **shylock homos** : WAIT WAS IT ACTUALLY YOU

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : DDSDFGHJBVCERYUIKNBVCSERTYUI

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I AM S C R EE C H I NG

 

 **minions are beautiful** : wait maki, how were you so sure?

 

 **delete your account** : cause I was there

 

 **delete your account** : he said this to me

 

 **peel the avocado** : o ng

 

 **omaGOD** : that’s correct

 

 **omaGOD** : she laughed for like 30 minutes straight

 

 **delete your account** : it was fucking hilarious

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : I meant to say Buzz Aldrin!! First person to walk on the moon!!

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : uh

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : buddy

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : he was the _second_ person to walk on the moon

 

 **S P A C E J A M** : fuck

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : the first to _walk_ on the moon was Neil Armstrong

 

 **shylock homos** : YOU’RE THE ULTIMATE ASTRONAUT HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS

 

**_omaGOD_ ** _changed **S P A C E J A M’s** name to **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon**_

****

**buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : why do you do this to me

 

 **omaGOD** : >:3

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : good choice

 

 **peel the avocado** : 10/10 ign

 

 **delete your account** : this is what you get

 

 **minions are beautiful** : Neil A. spelled backwards is A. Lien

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : h o l y  s h I t

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : YOOOOOOOO

 

 **omaGOD** : …moving on

 

 **omaGOD** : next is a google search!

 

 **omaGOD** : “minion porn”

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : wh

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : W H A T THE **F U C K**

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : MORE LIKE W  H AT

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS

 

 **minions are beautiful** : I can assure you, it is not me.

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : you sure?

 

 **minions are beautiful** : minions are a disgrace to humanity itself. what language do they speak? what are their customs? life span? we do not know. nobody cares. to be a minion is to laugh in the face of the world itself. we know next to nothing about them, yet we know to much. we know that they are round, yellow, gibberish speaking, occasional cyclops short haired fat little twats. we want nothing to do with them. we want to learn nothing about them, we know too much already, and yet there is always. another. movie. theres even a movie just for them, loaded with minion lore. why? why do they think we want this? every time a new god damn movie comes out a piece of my soul breaks off and flies up to the heavens. where is it going? what more do we not know about minions? I do not want to know. what I want is my soul back. my life back. my humanity back. our world back. yet that is not possible, as everyday we are reminded of the futile existence of those fucking fat talking tic tacs. they love bananas? fuck that. fuck you and your bananas, minions. I hope satan himself rises from the fiery pits of hell and drags these shit bags down to the seering asshole of hades where they may suffer eternally in the underworld, away from us. away from the world. fuck you, minions. I want my humanity back.

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : o m g

 

 **shirogaNYA** : IM FCUKCKING PISSINGEEFC

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : THIS OPENED MY THIRD EYE

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : KIYO UR MY HEROO

 

 **shylock homos** : that was the best thing ive ever read

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta no like bananas :(

 

 **omaGOD** : THERE ARE LEGIT TEARS IN MY EYES

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : THTSIH MADES ME NNNOT KLKILL MSELFF

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : FUCKING RELATABLE

 

 **delete your account** : me when im disassociating

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : me as F U CK

 

 **minions are beautiful** : minion porn? MINION??? PORN??? fuck that. FUCK THAT. fuck whichever one of you had the audacity to type those words. to put in the effort of tapping each key until the ungodly string of words formed. FUCK. YOU. not only that, but fuck you for making ME type this shit. do you think I want to spend my time writing essays about the disgrace that are minions? no. I want to spend my time being human. being free. but No. here I am, putting genuine effort into writing my true feelings into this god forbidden chat. not to mention, I actually had to LOOK UP information about minions just to write this god damn bullshit. my eyes had to fall victim to way too much minion info, way too many pictures of those FUCKING. PISS COLOURED. TWATS. I can erase my history all I want, but nothing will ever erase the mark it has seared in my dignity. in my soul. IN MY HUMANITY. and one of you, ONE OF YOU SHITHEADS had the NERVE to look up MINION. PORN. for your OWN PLEASURE. ONE OF YOU SHITHEADS can look at a picture of a NAKED. MINION. and be ATTRACTED TO IT. FUCK. YOU. IF THE IMAGE OF NAKED AND EXPOSED MINION BREAKS INTO MY HEAD ONE. MORE. TIME. I AM GOING OVER TO YOUR DORM, BREAKING IN, AND THEN BREAKING YOU. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR HUMANITY, NOT THAT YOU HAD ANY BEFORE, YOU DISGUSTING CUNT.

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : TTHIS IW THE bETSSTR DYAYY OF MMY LLIIFRSS

 

 **peel the avocado** : IM AHAVEING A FUCKIRNBE STROCKE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I CNAT BEREATHS

 

 **omaGOD** : ALL I CAN IMAGINE WRIGHT NOW IS A DISSTRESSED KIYO FURIOUSLY TYPING THIS WHILE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN HIS FOREHEAD ALL WHILE HES FUCKING CRYING

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : HIS ROOM IS NEXT TO MINE I THINK HE IS CRYINGGG

 

 **omaGOD** : HOLY FUCK

 

**_minions are beautiful_ ** _changed their name to **I fucking hate minions**_

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : OH MY GOODDDDD

 

 **mothergoose** : I decide to take a miniscule break and check the chat and I see kiyo writing an essay about minions.

 

 **peel the avocado** : you proud of him ma? ;D

 

 **mothergoose** : very.

 

 **peel the avocado** : NBVCFDSRJBVCFXDSSERTYUJNBVCXDSE

 

 **shylock homos** : KIYO BUDDY ARE YOU OKAY

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : yeah im fine how you doing

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : me when im having an internal meltdown and someone asks if im okay

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : anyways, I would like to ask again.

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : who. looked up. minion. porn.

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : wasnt me

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : despite the fact that id like to die im gonna be honest and say it wasn’t me

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : shockingly, it wasn’t me

 

 **shylock homos** : nope

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : never

 

 **peel the avocado** : nah man

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : id would never

 

 **delete your account** : do you really think I would do it?

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ew no

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : SOMEONE BETTER COME FORWARD

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : I don’t think whoever did it would actually come forward

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I hate to throw her under the bus like this

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : but angie has been awfully quite this whole time, hasn’t she?

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : wh

 

 **shirogaNYA** : omg

 

 **omaGOD** : DING DING DING KEEBO GETS IT RIGHT

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : W H A T

 

 **shylock homos** : IT WAS HER?????

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : HOLY SHIT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : DAMN ANG DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE INTO THAT

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : IM SORRY

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : VCFXDSRJBVCDSERTYUJNBVCXS

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I just heard kiyo exit his room

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : ur fucked angie

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : rip

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I always knew kiyo would kill me someday

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : but I always thought tenko would go down with me

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : SORRY GAL

 

 **delete your account** : before you die, angie, id like to ask you something

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : ya what

 

 **delete your account** : WHY WERE YOU LOOKING UP MINION PORN

 

 **peel the avocado** : ID LIKE TO KNOW THAT AS WELL

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : ME TOO

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HIT ME UP WITH THE BEST PICS YOU FOUND BEFORE YOU DIe MK

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : EVERYONE CALM DOWN

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : you too kiyo

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : …very well

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : alrighty then

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : its hifumi’s fault

 

 **shirogaNYA** : what???

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : he commissioned me

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : he wanted a sculpture of a naked minion with boobs

 

 **shirogaNYA** : WHAT???????

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : BVXDFGHHGFDSERTYUJBVCDSYUJVCDSEWY

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : i. what

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I HATE TO SAY THIS BUT HE HAS GOOD TASTE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : he probably wanted it as a gag

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : did you take the commission

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : well

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : he paid me 150 bucks sooo

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : hhho ly shit

 

 **shylock homos** : that’s… really sad

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I, of course, had never drawn nor seen minion porn before

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : so I needed a reference

 

 **delete your account** : did you not question his offer at all???

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : well it IS hifumi so

 

 **delete your account** : fair point

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I agreed to do the commission

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : and I told him this:

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : “ill do the commission, but I just want to let you know that you will never get into heaven. ever.”

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : SAVAGE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : BURNT TO A CRISP

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : what was his response??

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : he just nodded

 

 **shylock homos** : he must have already accepted his fate

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : whats the status on the commission?

 

 **delete your account** : why do you wanna know?

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : well _excuse_ me for being curious

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : the sculpture is still in progress, I was about to get to the dick and boobs

 

 **peel the avocado** : both boobs and a dick??

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : THAT’S MAKES ME SO W E T

 

 **shylock homos** : MIU I CAN HEAR U PLEASE STOP MOANING

 

 **shylock homos** : FUCK SHE JUST GOT LOUDER

 

 **mothergoose** : ah, so that is what you were working on.

 

 **mothergoose** : I stopped by your lab the other day to clean up a bit

 

 **mothergoose** : but in the middle of the room, with light shining on it was a rather exposed minion sculpture on a pedestal.

 

 **mothergoose** : it disturbed me so much I immediately left the room.

 

 **peel the avocado** : LMAO

 

 **delete your account** : relatable

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : so hifumi is the one who likes minion porn?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : yea

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : brb

 

 **shirogaNYA** : OH FUCK

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : RIP HIFUMI

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : HE ABOUT TO GET EVISCERATED

 

 **peel the avocado** : HIS DICK WILL BE CUT OFF

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : N STUCK IN THE WOUND

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I AM  _D R I P P I N G_   TO MY  _C O R E_

 

 **shylock homos** : MIU SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THOSE NOISES I CAN HEAR YOU FROM DOWN THE HALL

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : well we know now that hifumi isn’t going to heaven

 

 **shirogaNYA** : NOOO MY ANIME WATCHING BUDDY

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : your **W H A T**

 

 **omaGOD** : PRESS F TO PAY RESPECTS

 

 **delete your account** : F

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : F

 

 **shylock homos** : F

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : F

 

 **peel the avocado** : F

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : F

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : F

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : F

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : why is everyone pressing F?

 

 **omaGOD** : WE ARE PAYING OUR RESPECTS

 

 **omaGOD** : YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : respects? did someone die?

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN KEEBS

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HIFUMI IS ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : KIYO IS GOING TO MURDER HIM

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : oh

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : then im not paying any respects to him

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : he asked me if id seen any good robot porn lately

 

 **shirogaNYA** : omg

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : actually I retract my F

 

 **omaGOD** : …have you?

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : of course not!

 

 **i fucking hate minions** : I have returned

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : :ooo

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : welcome back minionfucker69

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : o ng

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : HIMIKO HOLY SHIT

 

 **shylock homos** : oh my god

 

**_omaGOD_ ** _changed **I fucking hate minions’** s name to **minionfucker69**_

 

 **peel the avocado** : HHHHHHHHJESUS FUCKING CHRIST

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : THE MINIONFUCKER DOTH RETURN

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : oma do you WANT to die??

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : “hey guys minionfucker69 here and welcome back to my minecraft lets play today we’re doing the despicable me mod”

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : RYOMA DO _YOU_ WANT TO DIE

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : what kind of question is that

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : of fucking course

 

**_minionfucker69_ ** _changed their name to **yeet I guess**_

 

**_yeet I guess_ ** _deleted themselves from **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

****

**omaGOD** : oh wow

 

 **delete your account** : I applaud him for his bravery

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : smart move

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : god I wish that were me

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wait is hifumi dead or??

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : HE DESTROYED IT

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : what

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : KIYO DESTROYED THE STATUE

 

 **shirogaNYA** : oh my

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : YOOOOOOO

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : doing gods work I see

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : aww man. before I even got to see it

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : miu u worry me sometimes

 

 **delete your account** : out of _all_ the things she’s said so far, _that’s_ the one that worries you?

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : oh no! all your hard work is wasted :(

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : aww do not worry gonta! :D

 

 **delete your account** : hes right though. even if the statue was an insult to the gods themselves, you spent a while working on it

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : dw about it

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : im not even mad

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I was gonna destroy it myself anyway

 

 **shirogaNYA** : what about hifumi’s $150?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I used it to buy the supplies

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : all that money?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : nah

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I do sculpture commissions for like $25

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : the rest of that money was repayment for what he was making me do

 

 **delete your account** : that’s fair

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : how much would it cost for a sculpture of a minion orgy?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : omg

 

 **omaGOD** : $69

 

 **omaGOD** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **delete your account** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **shylock homos** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **peel the avocado** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**_yeet I guess_ ** _has joined **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

**god is dead and we killed him** : kiyo help me

 

**_yeet I guess_ ** _has changed their name to **(**_ **_͡_ ** **_°_ ** **_͜_ ** **_ʖ_ ** **_͡_ ** **_°)_ **

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : F U C K

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hic
> 
> i fucking hate minions
> 
> also i don't like hifumi, if you couldn't tell
> 
> (the game of guess the quote or google search will continue next chapter until everyone has been guessed)


	4. Raising 15 Children is Hard when you're a Single Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game continues. Miu is high. Ryoma is short. Kiyo is tall. Kirumi's a mom. Rantaro has some fucked up dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i ggot it done
> 
> funny thing is, five min after i posted the last chapter my mom asked if i wanted to watch despicable me with me
> 
> anyways there are some spoilers for,,, pretty much the whole game but you'll only really get them if you've played the game before. 
> 
> honestly the amount of times I've typed "minion" in the past hour is very depressing
> 
> anyways,,, lets proceed

\---Saturday, November 25th, 9:03am---

 

 

 **omaGOD** : now, where were we

 

 **omaGOD** : ah yes

 

 **omaGOD** : LET THE GAME CONTINUE

 

 **shirogaNYA** : tbh I forgot we were even playing a game

 

 **delete your account** : oh right. this again

 

 **(** **͡** **°** **͜** **ʖ** **͡** **°)** : I still have not recovered.

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : neither has hifumi

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : you gave him quite the earful

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : “you. are a disgrace. who do you think you are? minion porn? really? you get pleasure out of perceiving those banana-fucking bullshit-speaking twats undressed and exposed? does minion vagina make you hard? DOES IT? TELL ME NOW SO THAT I MAY HAVE AN EXCUSE TO PROJECT YOUR ASS TO THE 3RD DIMENSION ASTRAL PLANE BITCH”

 

 **(** **͡** **°** **͜** **ʖ** **͡** **°)** : cough cough

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : wow

 

 **peel the avocado** : I want this on my tombstone

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : AW DAMN I WISH ID BEEN THERE

 

 **omaGOD** : for the love of god STOP TALKING ABOUT MINION COCK

 

 **shirogaNYA** : do minions have thrussies?

 

 **omaGOD** : S T O P

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : wait if female minions do not exist then how do they reproduce

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : …woah

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : some of them have pussies. some of them don’t. its natural selection

 

 **omaGOD** : P L E A S E  S T O P

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : and why are there so many of them

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : minion orgies

 

 **shirogaNYA** : o m g

 

 **peel the avocado** : I can HEAR it

 

 **shirogaNYA** : OH FUCK

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : FUCK YOU RANTARO I CAN HEAR IT TO

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : FUCK I CANT GET THOSE NOISES OUT OF MY HEAD

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS

 

 **shylock homos** : MIU WHAT IS THAT NOISEE  


 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : what are those ungodly noises?

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : IT’S THE SOUND OF A MINION ORGY

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : thankS! I hate it

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : hIMIKO YOU ASKED THE QUESTION

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : tbh… I have no regrets

 

 **(** **͡** **°** **͜** **ʖ** **͡** **°)** : himiko you are one door down from me if anymore minion shit comes out of your mouth im walking over there

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : do that and ill break ur legs you folklore cunt

 

 **shirogaNYA** : F O L K L O R E  C U N T

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : DKSKDKSKDKDJDKSJD

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : KIYO PLEASE MIU’S THE ONE REPLICATING THE SOUND OF A MINION ORGY GO KILL HER

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YO ANG WHATS THE STATUS OF MY MINION COMMISSION

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : GO FUCK YOURSELF

 

 **(** **͡** **°** **͜** **ʖ** **͡** **°)** : congratulations you just triggered a Vietnam flashback

 

 **omaGOD** : A H E M

 

 **delete your account** : nobody wants to play your game oma

 

 **peel the avocado** : yeah go fuck a minion you gremlin

 

 **(** **͡** **°** **͜** **ʖ** **͡** **°)** : please for the love of god don’t

 

 **shylock homos** : aww come on guys this is fun!!

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : it is pretty hilarious

 

 **omaGOD** : thank you!!

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : kiyo please for the love of atua change your username

 

 **(** **͡** **°** **͜** **ʖ** **͡** **°)** : very well

 

**_(_ ** **_͡_ ** **_°_ ** **_͜_ ** **_ʖ_ ** **_͡_ ** **_°)_ ** _changed their name to **hey soul sister**_

 

 **hey soul sister** : better?

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : …no comment

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : ive got no response

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : no objections here

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : noope

 

 **omaGOD** : OKAYYYYYY LETS GOOO

 

 **omaGOD** : this ones a quote!!

 

 **omaGOD** : “every time someone yells at me I can feel my dick throb and my twelve pussies quiver n it makes me sad but at the same time it makes me feel fucking incredible so please scream at me some more daddy”

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : i

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : W H A T  T H E  F U C K

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : HOLY FUCK

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : ONE DICK TWELVE PUSSIES????

 

 **shirogaNYA** : WOW FIFTY SHADES OF GAY LOOKS INCREDIBLE

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ****GRAY I MEANT GRAY

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : BRB IM BLEACHING MY FUCKING EYEBALLS

 

 **peel the avocado** : FGDYGHJHBVCFDERTYBVCXDSERTYUIJNBVCXDS

 

 **peel the avocado** : HOT DAMN

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : THAT’S SOME KINKY SHIT RITE DERE

 

 **delete your account** : oh come on this one’s obvious

 

 **delete your account** : its miu

 

 **shirogaNYA** : mhm

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : absolutely

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : no doubt about it

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : obviously

 

 **hey soul sister** : of course

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : duh

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : completely

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I know for a fact that this is miu

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : OH COME ON STOP ASSUMING

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : im not assuming

 

 **peel the avocado** : you have proof??

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : picture me, at 3am on a Friday. I hear a knock on the door. I get up to answer, and I am greeted with miu. she is both drunk and high. her eyes have rolled completely to the back of her head, showing only the white. she somehow looks happy, depressed and incredibly horny all at once. she looks me dead in the eyes and says this exact thing, then promptly leaves. the scream I uttered still rings in my head to this day.

 

 **peel the avocado** : omg

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : FUCK I WISH ID BEEN THERE

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOW

 

 **hey soul sister** : somehow I am both incredibly disturbed but completely un phased at the same time

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I REMEMBER THIS

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I REMEMBER HEARING KEEBO SCREAM BUT I NEVER KNEW WHY

 

 **shirogaNYA** : aaaaaa those were the days

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : …id completely forgotten about that

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : whoops

 

 **omaGOD** : did his scream make your twelve pussies quiver?

 

 **hey soul sister** : S T O P

 

 **peel the avocado** : where the heck did you get both alcohol and weed ON CAMPUS??

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : oh you wanna know? hmu then

 

 **peel the avocado** : wait no

 

 **shirogaNYA** : RANTARO :OOO

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : DRUGS ARE BAD DO NOT DO DRUGS

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : THERE WILL BE NO MARR-JU-WANNA IN THIS CHRISTIAN SERVER

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : IS THAT A WEED?? IM CALLING THE POLICE

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : IS THAT A POLICE?? IM CALLING THE WEED

 

 **peel the avocado** : please stop

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : this is the WEED police!! put ur hands up HIGH!!!

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : was

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : was that pun intentional

 

 **omaGOD** : MOVING ON

 

 **omaGOD** : well not that its unclear but YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : that was too easy

 

 **omaGOD** : next one!!!!

 

 **omaGOD** : a google search!!!

 

 **shylock homos** : dear god

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : my heart is pounding

 

 **shirogaNYA** : im shaking

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : im weak

 

 **peel the avocado** : knees week

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : arms are heavy

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : vomit’s on his sweater already

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : M O M ‘ S  S P A G H U E T T I

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : EYYYYY KEEBO  


 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : WELL DONE

 

 **omaGOD** : A H E M

 

 **omaGOD** : anyways this is the search:

 

 **omaGOD** : “how to deal with raising teenagers”

 

 **delete your account** : oh wow

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : hmmmm

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : who said that tho??

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : uuuhh

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : let me think

 

 **shylock homos** : its so obvious

 

 **shylock homos** : do you guys seriously not know??

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : bro all of us are teenagers, which one of us needs to raise teenagers??

 

 **shylock homos** : wow kaito you really are a dumbass

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : WHAT  


 

 **delete your account** : OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **omaGOD** : THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : ROASTED

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : HA GET CUCKED YOU DEGENERATE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : CONSIDER YOURSELF C U C K E D

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : I feel so loved

 

 **shylock homos** : NO ONE KNOWS WHO SEARCHED THAT??

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I cannot think of anyone…

 

 **shylock homos** : guys

 

 **shylock homos** : ITS KIRUMI

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : OOOOOHHHHHHHHH  


 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : THAT MAKES SENSE

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : oh I see. makes sense

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : but kirumi is a teenager like us, why does she need help raising a teen?

 

 **mothergoose** : not _a_ teen

 

 **mothergoose** : more like 15

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : fifteen?!

 

 **shylock homos** : keebs shes talking about us

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : oh

 

 **hey soul sister** : aahh that’s understandable

 

 **mothergoose** : well done shuichi. ive raised you well

 

 **shylock homos** : thank you mother

 

 **omaGOD** : MOM HOW COULD YOU

 

 **mothergoose** : I thought I told you to stop calling me “mom”

 

 **omaGOD** : but everyone else calls you mom!

 

 **mothergoose** : everyone can call me mom

 

 **mothergoose** : anyone but you

 

 **omaGOD** : D:

 

 **mothergoose** : anyways, I have business I must attend to. please continue your… game.

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : you got it mom!

 

 **peel the avocado** : sure thing mom!

 

 **hey soul sister** : yes, mother.

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : understood ma

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YES DADDY

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : miu what the fuck

 

 **mothergoose** : actually make that 14 teenagers

 

 **mothergoose** : consider yourself disowned, iruma

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WHAT

 

 **peel the avocado** : OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **omaGOD** : wow that was boring

 

 **omaGOD** : next one!!

 

 **omaGOD** : oooo it’s a quote

 

 **omaGOD** : “everytime I talk to kiyo he ends up towering over me and my eyes end up at the same level of his crotch”

 

 **hey soul sister** : what

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : dssdjkskjjksjdkjsj

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : BVCDRTYUJBVCERYBVCDEYUJBVCFDSE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : huh

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : well then

 

 **peel the avocado** : ITS RYOMA

 

 **omaGOD** : HOW DO YOU KNOW

 

 **peel the avocado** : BECAUSE 1) HES SHORT

 

 **peel the avocado** : 2) IVE MADE THIS EXACT OBSERVATION BEFORE

 

 **peel the avocado** : AND IVE TOLD HIM THIS EXACT THING

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : fuck you rantaro

 

 **peel the avocado** : “yknow ryoma at your height you could stare kiyo square in the dick without being too obvious”

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YTREWSXCVBKOIUYTRESCVBKOIUYTRESCVBN

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : YOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **shylock homos** : WOW RYOMA

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : WELL DONE

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : HEY ITS NOT LIKE U PURPOUSEFULLY DID IT

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I ACCIDENTALY LOWERED MY HEAD AND MY EYES JUST HAPPENED TO LAND THERE

 

 **hey soul sister** : … _accidentaly_?

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : they just _happened_ to land there?

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I THOUGHT IT WAS SUBTLE ENOUGH FOR YOU NOT TO NOTICE

 

 **hey soul sister** : if you think you were being subtle you are highly mistaken

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : im gonna kick you in the crotch if you don’t stfu

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : hey ryoma

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : what

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : I don’t think your foot can reach his crotch, maybe try headbutting it instead

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : OOOF

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : CXKBVDSRTYUIKNBVCSERUIKJBVCSERTY

 

 **shylock homos** : WOW NICE GOING KAITO UR ABOUT TO DIE

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : WAIT NO

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : RYOMA THAT WAS A JOKE

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : MAKI HELP ME

 

 **delete your account** : you brought this upon yourself

 

 **delete your account** : you’re on your own

 

 **shirogaNYA** : YEEEOUCH

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : WELL DONE MAKI

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : RIP KAITO

 

 **omaGOD** : well you guys were right first of all

 

 **omaGOD** : second of all, kiyo, I wanted to let you know that I also happen to stare directly at your dick when we talk

 

 **hey soul sister** : w h a t

 

 **omaGOD** : A N Y W A Y S  NEXT ONE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : WAIT

 

 **omaGOD** : ya?

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : before we continue

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : let me just do one thing

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : uh

 

 **shirogaNYA** : sure thing

 

 **shylock homos** : im scared

 

**_Hermione GAYnger_ ** _changed **hey soul sister** ’s name to **shinGUCCI**_

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : OH MY GOD

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : MNGCYFGHVDESRTYUYIHCESEWUTYUIY

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : WELL DONE HIMIKO

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : THANK YOU

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : THANK YOU FOR DOING ATUA’S WORK

 

 **shinGUCCI** : why this all of a sudden?

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : idk

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I just repeated your name in my head and then poof

 

 **shinGUCCI** : to be fair, this is much better than that god forbidden name you gave me earlier.

 

 **omaGOD** : oh you mean

 

 **shinGUCCI** : don’t you dare

 

 **omaGOD** : minionfucker69? ;)

 

 **shinGUCCI** : I swear to god

 

 **omaGOD** : ANYWAYS LETS CONTINUE

 

 **omaGOD** : this next one is a google search

 

 **omaGOD** : “funny bug videos”

 

 **peel the avocado** : gonta

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : gonta

 

 **shylock homos** : gonta

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : gonta

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : gonta

 

 **shinGUCCI** : gonta

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : gonta

 

 **delete your account** : gonta

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : gonta

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : gonta

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : gonta

 

 **shirogaNYA** : gonta

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : gonta

 

 **omaGOD** : come on that was easy

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta likes watching funny bug videos! :D

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I just started crying

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : we love you gonta

 

 **peel the avocado** : you are amazing

 

 **shinGUCCI** : such a pure boy

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : the only non-degenerate male here

 

 **shylock homos** : you’re doing amazing sweetie

 

 **shirogaNYA** : the only tolerable one here

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : best boy best boy best boy

 

 **mothergoose** : out of all of my children, you are my favourite

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : you deserve the world

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : anyone who says otherwise can feel my wrath

 

 **delete your account** : if anyone disses gonta I will personally go over to your room and stab you in the eyes

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta love everyone too! :DD

 

 **omaGOD** : …moving on

 

 **omaGOD** : oooooo the next one is a quote!

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : BRING IT

 

 **omaGOD** : “whats up I am homosexual. I like cock. dick. penis. alla dat. you cnt even judge me. yeah im gay but so what. sowhat. swht. ill say it again, I like men. me? het? nah bro”

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wh

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : wow

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : me at like 3 am but replace all the dude stuff with girl stuff

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : we get it, tenko, ur a lesbian

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : that could be any of the dudes

 

 **shinGUCCI** : what is with all the spelling mistakes?

 

 **omaGOD** : this was actually a text I got at 3 am on a Monday a couple weeks ago

 

 **delete your account** : why does stuff like this always happen at 3 am

 

 **peel the avocado** : im actually very curious as to who said this

 

 **peel the avocado** : we can rule all the girls out soo

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : nope

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : wasn’t me

 

 **shinGUCCI** : god I hope not

 

 **shylock homos** : not me

 

 **peel the avocado** : well it wasn’t me soooooo

 

 **omaGOD** : hmmph

 

 **omaGOD** : one of you said it

 

 **omaGOD** : you just don’t remember

 

 **omaGOD** : isn’t that right

 

 **omaGOD** : BABE? ;)

 

 **shylock homos** : huh

 

 **shylock homos** : WHAT

 

 **shirogaNYA** : WHWHWHWHWH WHAT

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : WAIT HOLY SHIT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HOT DAMN SHYHARA

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : SHUICHI OH MY GOD

 

 **shinGUCCI** : WELL THEN

 

 **peel the avocado** : NFYJNBVCDSRTYUKNBVCXDSRTYUIJ

 

 **peel the avocado** : RELATABLE AS F U CK

 

 **shylock homos** : WHEN DID I SAY THIS

 

 **omaGOD** : I have proof shu

 

 **omaGOD** : don’t escape the truth

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : theres nothing wrong with liking COCK

 

 **shylock homos** : I must have been disassociating real bad cause I don’t remember this AT ALL

 

 **shirogaNYA** : well it was 3 am so

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : understandable

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : what kind of drugs were you on bro holy shit

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : shyhara doesn’t do drugs

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : he has the bravery of one (1) chicken nugget do you really think he would do drugs

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : that’s true

 

 **omaGOD** : anyway it was the biggest mood I had ever read and I want it framed

 

 **shylock homos** : …thank I guess

 

 **omaGOD** : aaaannnd here’s another google search!

 

 **omaGOD** : “what the fuck is a shot put ball”

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : compared to the other ones this one is actually normal

 

 **delete your account** : who types “what the fuck is” when they wanna know what something is??

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : this person, apparently

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : why a shot put ball???

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : I have no clue why but I feel as if this was rantaro

 

 **omaGOD** : C O R R E C T

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon**  : EYYYYYYYY

 

 **peel the avocado**  : im not mad. it was a genuine question

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : wow kaito actually got something right!!

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : good job!!

 

 **mothergoose** : mother is proud of you.

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta is proud of you!!!

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : you guys are praising me yet I feel offended somehow

 

 **shylock homos** : why a shot put ball?

 

 **peel the avocado** : cause I wasn’t exactly sure what it was

 

 **shylock homos** : dude what did you think a shot put ball was??

 

 **peel the avocado** : idk

 

 **peel the avocado** : I thought it was a euphemism

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : there it is

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : it always relates back to penis doesn’t it

 

 **peel the avocado** : I thought it meant like. grabbing a dick

 

 **shirogaNYA** : I swear to god if you hit paste and let loose the lenny face I will conk you in the head with a shot put ball

 

 **peel the avocado** : CHILL

 

 **peel the avocado** : yknow I had a dream like that once

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : what

 

 **shinGUCCI** : huh?

 

 **peel the avocado** : I had a dream where tsumugi killed me with a shot put ball

 

 **peel the avocado** : that’s why I wanted to know what they were

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : what kind of fucked up dreams were you having

 

 **peel the avocado** : theres also this bear

 

 **peel the avocado** : he kinda looks like usami but hes black on one side and white on the other

 

 **peel the avocado** : n hes got a red eye

 

 **peel the avocado** : not to mention that all of you are there too

 

 **peel the avocado** : and we’re being forced to kill each other

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : mhm

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : sure jan

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : you okay dude

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : NOW THAT’S SOME FUCKED UP SHIT

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : well then

 

 **shinGUCCI** : turns out that shuichi’s not the one on drugs, but rantaro

 

 **delete your account** : im leaving

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : yep bye

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : this is getting weird

 

 **peel the avocado** : WAIT GUYS PLEASE

 

 **omaGOD** : yeeeaaah im gonna gooooo

 

 **omaGOD** : the game will continue later ;))

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : ill be in my lab disassociating for 5 hours if anybody needs me

 

 **peel the avocado** : AW COME ON

 

 **peel the avocado** : GUYS

 

 **peel the avocado** : well I might as well go to

 

 **peel the avocado** : if anybody needs me, ill be wandering around

 

 **peel the avocado** : avoiding the library

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow rantaro ;) what a ;) CRAZY dream ;)
> 
> also tsym for the nice comments they literally brighten up my day :))))


	5. The Game Ends and Oma's still on Top

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With more desperate screaming, the game ends.
> 
> Meanwhile, plans are made in the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT AAAAAAAAA
> 
> IVE HAD SO MUCH WORK TO DO THAT I COULDNT FINISH THIS FAST ENOUGH ITS BEEN IN THE WORKS FOR 3 WEEKS
> 
> also
> 
> TSYM FOR 2000 VIEWSSSS
> 
> as a thank you and an apology for the wait, this chapter is longer!!
> 
> please enjoy!! comments are always appreciated!!

\----Saturday, November 25th, 11:37pm---

 

  

 **omaGOD** : lets resume!!!!

 

 **shinGUCCI** : lets. not

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : please no

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : lemme get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : no

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ugh

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : hhhhhhhhhh no

 

 **omaGOD** : come on guys!!!!!

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : die you cummy fucker

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : still haven’t forgiven you for my username :I

 

 **delete your account** : go cuck yourself

 

 **omaGOD** : well

 

 **omaGOD** : whatevs

 

 **omaGOD** : so far, kirumi, angie, shuichi, gonta, ryoma, miu, kaito and rantaro have all been guessed

 

 **omaGOD** : ssooooo YALL ARE SAFE

 

 **peel the avocado** : not safe from the bear that haunts my dreams

 

 **delete your account** : stfu rantaro nobody cares

 

 **peel the avocado** : :(

 

 **peel the avocado** : I didn’t die for this :((((

 

 **shylock homos** : whos not here??

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : I saw keebo earlier, he was hiding from soda

 

 **delete your account** : again???

 

 **delete your account** : hes. Always hiding

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I have a spell to make him go away

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : …pardon?

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : Wow himiko!!! Lets hear it!!!

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : “RAVIOLI RAVIOLI DON’T LEWD K1-B-OLI”

 

 **peel the avocado** : …creative

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : AWWWWWEE YEEEEEEEE

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : I highly doubt that will work.

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : :(

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : hey kiyo

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : what

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ravioli ravioli go fuck yourselfioli

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : …

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : EYYYY

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : B E A U T I F U L

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : nice anime reference!!!

 

 **shirogaNYA** : …spongebob?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : oooo you pissed off tsumugi

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : she gonna write a tunglr blog post about how “commoners” are “ruinning anime”

 

 **shirogaNYA** : take that back piano dumbass >:I

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : I know what I said

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : >:3

 

 **omaGOD** : anybody else missing???

 

 **shylock homos** : wheres mom?

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : kirumi is with teruteru

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : OH NO

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : dear atua,,,,,

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : god save kirumi

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : she doesn’t deserve this!!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : I hope kirumi fucking kills him

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : LMAO SAME

 

 **shylock homos** : why???

 

 **shylock homos** : what did sausage italiano ever do to you???

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : s a u s a g e  i t a l i a n o

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT HIS MEAT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : LIKE

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : STOP TRYNA GET ME TO SUCK YA DICK MARIO MINION GREMLIN

 

 **shirogaNYA** : o m g

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : DRTYUKNBVCDERTYUJFDRTYUNBVCDRTYU

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : M A R I O  M I N I O N  G R E M L I N

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : E N O U G H

 

 **peel the avocado** : im sure they’ll be cooking a mean sausage ;))))

 

 **mothergoose** : correct

 

 **mothergoose** : however

 

 **mothergoose** : the only sausage going on the chopping block is his own.

 

 **shirogaNYA** : YOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : MOM STRIKES BACK

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : OOOFF KILLEM DADDY

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : MIU FOR THE LOVE OF ATUA IM BEGGING YOU

 

 **mothergoose** : miu. You are grounded

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WHAT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN CHILD???

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YOUR FAVOURITE OUT OF YOUR 15 CHILDREN???

 

 **mothergoose** : Fifteen? I could have sworn I only have 14.

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : YOU’VE BEEN DISSOWNED

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : NOOOO

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : MOTHER MINION WHY

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : S T O P

 

 **delete your account** : JFC

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : IM YELLING

 

 **shylock homos** : OH GOD I CAN HEAR HER CHANTING

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : MOTHER MINION MOTHER MINION MOTHER MINION MO

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : BLEASE. STOP

 

 **shinGUCCI** : I am this close to fucking killing myself

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : eternal mood right dere

 

 **peel the avocado** : S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-STOP

 

 **omaGOD** : inhale

 

 **omaGOD** : EVERYTIME WE GET ON THIS GOD DAMN CHAT THE TOPIC ALWAYS CHANGES TO MINIONS WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN I SWEAR TO GOD IF WE TALK ABOUT THOSE KINDER EGG SURPRISE CAPSULE LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS ONE MORE TIME IM THROWING MYSELF OFF A CLIFF AND IM TAKING SHUICHI WITH ME

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : ....AND EVERYTIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wow what a bop

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I only listen to REAL music

 

 **peel the avocado** : only 90s kids remember this one

 

 **shylock homos** : im not jumping off a cliff with you oma

 

 **omaGOD** : WHY

 

 **shylock homos** : im not ready to die

 

 **shylock homos** : …yet

 

 **omaGOD** : ARE YOU ABANDONNING ME

 

 **omaGOD** : BOYFS WHO ARE GAY TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER

 

 **omaGOD** : BOYFS WHO CRY TOGETHER DIE TOGETHER

 

 **omaGOD** : BOYFS WHO TEXT EACH OTHER AT 3 AM AND BITCH ABOUT SHITTY CEREAL TOGETHER CAN BE HOMOSEXUAL TOGETHER

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : that… doesn’t even rhyme

 

 **omaGOD** : doesn’t have to

 

 **omaGOD** : our love is THAT strong

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : please be gay somewhere else

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : okay “catch these lesbian hands”

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ...touché

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : are we not playing the game???

 

 **omaGOD** : thanks kaede!!! Nice Segway ;))

 

 **omaGOD** : NEXT ONE IIISSSSS

 

 **omaGOD** : a google search!

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : hoo boi

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : im. scared

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : minion porn pt.2

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : angie I swear to F U C K

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : DESPICABLE ME 4

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : COMING TO A KIYO NEAR YOU

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : and im out. Fuck y’all id rather spend time with hiro

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : ouch

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : that’s harsh

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : oof

 

 **shirogaNYA** : understandable have a nice day

 

 **omaGOD** : bls. no more minions

 

 **shylock homos** : I agree. Pls continue oma :p

 

 **omaGOD** : thanks boo! :)

 

 **omaGOD** : google search isss: “funny cat videos”

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : gonta

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : mhm

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : ya

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : yeah

 

 **shirogaNYA** : obviously

 

 **peel the avocado** : of course

 

 **shylock homos** : uh duh

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : yeep

 

 **omaGOD** : alla y’all are…

 

 **omaGOD** : WRONG

 

 **shylock homos** : what???

 

 **omaGOD** : GONTAS ALREADY BEEN GUESSED

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : wait really??? Then I have no clue

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : uuuuuhhhhhhhhh

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ive no idea tbh

 

 **shylock homos** : whoever searched that should just come forward, theres no shame or anythin

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YEAH THERES NO SHAME IN ENJOYING P U S S Y

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : but why would oma choose this search instead of a weird or embarrassing one??

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : it must have been chosen for being embarrassing, somehow.

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : which meannss….

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : oma chose it because he knew the culprit would be embarrassed about admitting it!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : GOOD DEDUCTION WORK HIMIKO!!! :D

 

 **shirogaNYA** : culprit?

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : this aint a killing game, himiko

 

 **peel the avocado** : it is

 

 **peel the avocado** : IN MY NIGHTMARES

 

 **delete your account** : I thought I told you to stfu

 

 **shylock homos** : wait kiyo ur still here??

 

 **shylock homos** : I thought you were with hiro???

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : I was on my way to meet with him

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : however

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : I found him eating a banana whole

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : like. Without even peeling it

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : I think there were tear stains down his cheeks

 

 **shirogaNYA** : omg

 

 **peel the avocado** : god I wish I was there

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : BLEASE TELL ME YOU SPOKE TO HIM

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : yes

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : he looked me dead in the eyes and said:

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : “ive been trying to peel it for the past 2 hours. ive given up at this point”

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : me as fuck

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : relatable

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : two hours????

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : jfc

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : I left without saying a word.

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : JHDSWEYUIKNBVCDSEUIJVCDSEUI

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : EYYYYYYYYY THAT’S B R U T A L

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WAIT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : DID YOU SAY

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : B A N A N A S??

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : talk about minions again and im going over to your lab and breaking everything in sight

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : ee

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : wow she shut up pretty fast

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : finally!!! some quiet!!!

 

 **omaGOD** : im taking it that nobody has any guesses??

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : nope. Honestly I have no clue

 

 **delete your account** : of course you don’t kaito

 

 **delete your account** : you’re clueless as fucc

 

 **shirogaNYA** : AYOYE D’ON

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : OOF

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : SIZZLED

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : y know what

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : just for that

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : im gonna go ahead and say it

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : it was maki

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ppftt

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : yeah nice try

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : do you honestly think wed believe that??

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : theres no way it was maki

 

 **shylock homos** : ya man

 

 **UltimatePENIS** : mhm

 

 **omaGOD** : …

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : oma??

 

 **omaGOD** : D I N G D I N G D I N G

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wh

 

 **omaGOD** : LUMINARY OF THE STARS GETS IT RIGHT

 

 **shylock homos** : he W H A T

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : :oo

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : BVCDSTYUJBVCDSERTYUJHVGCFD

 

 **delete your account** : FUCK YOU

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : NOW I SEE WHY OMA CHOSE THAT ONE

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I NEVER THOUGHT MS ULTIMATE ASSASIN WOULD LIKE THT KIND OF STUFF

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : EYYYYYYYYY

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : THAT WAS UNEXPECTED

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : OH MY

 

 ** _delete your account_** _has deleted themselves from **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

 

 **omaGOD** : …whoops

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : aww man

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : brb ill go talk to her

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I hope she doesn’t think we’re making fun of her :(

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : maybe we should put the game on pause

 

 **omaGOD** : good idea

 

 **omaGOD** : we’ll resume later!!!

 

 **omaGOD** : ;D

 

 

 

\---Saturday, November 25th, 1:04pm---

 

 

**_delete your account_ ** _has joined The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 **delete your account** : im back.

 

 **delete your account** : nobody say a word.

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : understood

 

 **shylock homos** : u got it

 

 **shirogaNYA** : yep

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : absolutely

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : mhm

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : sure thing

 

 **omaGOD** : …now then

 

 **omaGOD** : is everyone here??

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : Apart from keebo, I believe so

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : actually, I decided to join you all.

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : Welcome keebo! :D

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : Hello, Gonta! :)

 

 **shirogaNYA** : pure

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : so… did soda catch you??

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : no, usami found out and started scolding him.

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : serves him right!!!

 

 **omaGOD** : eyyy so we all here!!

 

 **shylock homos** : wait

 

 **shylock homos** : where are kaede and kirumi?

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : I went to speak with Chef Mario but he told me kirumi had not stayed with him long

 

 **peel the avocado** : C H E F  M A R I O

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : did he ask you to suck his dick??

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : he sure did

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : I Neo-Akido’ed the degenerate to the wall

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : mhm

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I was there

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : it was fucking exhilarating

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : I filmed it

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : OOOFFOFF I GOTTA SEE THAT

 

 **peel the avocado** : SEND IT TO ME

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I’m sure he enjoyed it

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : LMAO PROBS

 

 **shirogaNYA** : wait, so then where IS kirumi??

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I believe she is helping the Headmaster!

 

 **omaGOD** : of course she is

 

 **shylock homos** : she just cant ignore her duties, can she?

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : understandable, but what about Kaede?

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : She might be in her lab, I think she has a piano performance coming up soon

 

 **shylock homos** : lets just leave them to their things

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : yes, lets.

 

 **omaGOD** : ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

 

 **omaGOD** : LETS DO A FEW MORE

 

 **omaGOD** : NEXT WE HAVE A QUOTE

 

 **shylock homos** : ooooo

 

 **shinGUCCI** : lets hear it

 

 **shirogaNYA** : I haven’t been guessed yet. Im scared

 

 **omaGOD** : “correct me if im wrong, but I believe you are an “ignorant slut”

 

 **delete your account** : oh my god

 

 **peel the avocado** : MNVCSRTYJBVDERTYUIKJVDSERTYUJNBVCDSW

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : H O T  D A M N

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : :OO

 

 **shirogaNYA** : HOLY S H IT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : well

 

 **omaGOD** : ;)))

 

 **delete your account** : If I had to guess, I would say keebo.

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : ….OOOOOHHHHH

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HELL YYYYYYYEEEEEEAAHH

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : NO ONE ELSE COULD INSULT LIKE THAT IN SUCH A POLITE TONE

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : …

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : Is that an admission of guilt?

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : WOW!

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : Guilty as charged, it seems :P

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I simply heard Miu say it one day to describe an ignorant person.

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : Well done, Miu

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HEY WHY YOU BLAMING ME

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : Its like a baby copying everything the mom says :D

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : SHUT THE FUCK UP MEMEMOTA

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ASDFGHJKL’MNBVCDER

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : I do not understand, what was the problem?

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : Do you not understand what you said?

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : …just drop it

 

 **delete your account** : google it, keebo

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** >:3

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** : Very well.

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : 3…2…1…

 

**_www.do-robots-have-dicks.com_ ** _has deleted themselves from **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

 

 **peel the avocado** : HFDWERTYUJHGFDEUHGFDEYUHGFDE

 

 **shirogaNYA** : THAT REMINDS ME OF WHEN IN MOVIES A CHARACTER GETS BITTEN BY A ZOMBIE AND IT DOESN’T KICK IN RIGHT AWAY

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : THAT WAS GLORIOUS

 

 **shylock homos** : I CAN HEAR DISTRESSED KEEBO NOISES

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : HAHAHAAAAA

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : YOU’VE MADE KEEBOY SAD

 

 **omaGOD** : …that was boring lmao

 

 **omaGOD** : lets do one more!!

 

 **Delete your account** : finally this god forbidden game is ending

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : we are free

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : glorious day!!

 

 **shirogaNYA** : !!!!!!!!

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : AT LONG LAST

 

 **omaGOD** : :(

 

 **omaGOD** : anyway heres the quote:

 

 **omaGOD** : “everytime people talk about their het crushes in front of me I lose 20 years of my life and grow ever so closer to finally dying”

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : oh my god

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : biggest mood right there

 

 **peel the avocado** : itsa me

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : finally something interesting

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : hMhm I wOndEr WhO couLD hAve SAid thaT

 

 **delete your account** : tenko.

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : :( ur ruining the suspense :((

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : what suspense?

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : Im not ashamed!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : Its Fact bitch!!

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : yep

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : quite right

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : I agree!

 

 **omaGOD** : that was disappointing!!! But the games over now :((

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HALLELUHJIA

 

 **shinGUCCI** : I… don’t think that’s how you spell it

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I DNT FCKING CARE

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : NOW SUPREME FUCKER CAN LEAVE ME ALONE

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : FINALLY

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : F I N A L L Y

 

 **shirogaNYA** : IM GONE!! YEET BITCH!!!

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : Good bye atua-damned idiot!!

 

 **shylock homos** : W A IT

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : bro what are you doing

 

 **delete your account** : what is it this time?

 

 **shylock homos** : theres one more google search to guess

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : UGHHHHH

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : SHYHARA WHAT THE F U C K

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : LET US LEAVE

 

 **peel the avocado** : DUDE WHY

 

 **omaGOD** : there is???

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : why are you surprised?

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : aren’t you two in kahoots?

 

 **omaGOD** : I didn’t know there was a last one??

 

 **shylock homos** : indeed there is.

 

 **shylock homos** : “How to top when you are 5ft tall”

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : …wh

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : NEVERMIND IM STAYING FOR THIS SHIT

 

 **peel the avocado** : FGGVHFYRTHGFRTYHBVCDRTYJB

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : RYOMA IS THAT YOU

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : NAH MAN RYOMA IS 3FT TALL AND HE AINT GOT NO ONE TO TOP

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I TAKE NO OFFENSE TO THAT SOMEHOW

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : WOW!!!! HOT DAMN!!!!

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : I MEAN IT’S A VALID QUESTION

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : HOW D O E S A 5FT TALL GREMLIN TOP??

 

 **delete your account** : why don’t you ask shuichi, im sure he’d know first hand.

 

 **shylock homos** : :I

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : YOOOOO

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : THIS BOY IS A BOTTOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : That would mean the search belongs to kokichi, yes?

 

 **omaGOD** : SHU HOW COULD YOUUUU

 

 **shylock homos** : that’s payback for this god damned game

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : OMA PUTS RESEARCH INTO IT AT LEAST

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : MIU COULD USE A BIT OF THAT

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : W H A T

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : ROAST HER HIMIKO

 

**_shylock homos_ ** _changed **omaGOD** ’s username to **how to top when you are 5ft tall**_

 

 **shylock homos** : this your punishment

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : into the baby jail you go

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : COME ON SHU

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : AT LEAST KNOW THAT IM PUTTING RESEARCH INTO IT!!

 

 **shylock homos** : doesn’t feel like that to me

 

 **delete your account** : ..what

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : FUCKING OWNED BITCH

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : and on that note, im leaving

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : yeah ive got a minion commission to redo

 

 **ShinGUCCI** : and ive got an angie to kill

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : IVE GOT A SODA TO EVISCERATE

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : Gonta go see Gundham and his cute hamsters! :D

 

 **shirogaNYA** : I HAVE TO SEE THAT

 

 **shirogaNYA** : I MIGHT JUST CRY FROM THE PURENESS

 

 **delete your account** : im gonna find peko so we can bond over our hatred for kokichi

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : im gonna play Mario galaxy with chiaki

 

 **peel the avocado** : ILL COME WITH YOU

 

 **peel the avocado** : im gonna be luigi!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : Mondo challenged me to a fight so im gonna go kick his ass

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : Im gonna watch!!

 

 **shylock homos** : I’m gonna go find kaede.

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : YOU’RE ALL LEAVING ME AGAIN??

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : well whatevs

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : im going with shu

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : I cant just leave him

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : TOPLESS ;)

 

 

 

\---Saturday, November 25th, 5:24pm---

 

 

**_this is how we do things in my country_ ** _created a Group Chat_

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : Alrighty! Welcome everyone!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : there are. A lot of new names here

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : it is my name in my dorm group chat

 

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH** : same here!!!

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : I think we can determine who is who, correct?

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : well, I recognize a few from my dorm’s group chat

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : to aid us, please type your names.

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : Kirigiri

 

 **stab me daddy** : Peko

 

 **literally crying** : mmmikkan

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : Celestia

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : Chiaki

 

 **Ultimate Little Sister** : Komaru

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : Sonia

 

 **k a w a i i** : sayaka

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : mahiru

 

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH** : Ibuki!

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : there, that is much better.

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : sayaka I hate your username

 

 **k a w a i i** : blame hifumi

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : that’s my usual game plan :)

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : Where is hiyoko?

 

 **stab me daddy** : Please do not invite her in here, allow Mikan a safe space.

 

 **literally crying** : tthhaankk youyu ppeko :’(

 

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH** : AWWWWW THAT’S SO CUTE, LOOKING AFTER HER AND ALL THAT

 

 **stab me daddy** : …

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : yeah, maybe hiyoko shouldn’t be in here

 

 **Ultimate Little Sister** : why aren’t any of the harmony dorm members here?

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : we cannot let them interfere.

 

 **k a w a i i** : wait, this isn’t a girl group chat?

 

 **k a w a i i** : …soooo what is this?

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : ah yes, sayaka, I believe you were absent during our discussion.

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : as you may have noticed, those who were added are the friend groups of Kaede and Kirumi.

 

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH** : …what about leon??

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : hes a dude!! Keep him out

 

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH** : but hes in our music club!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : :I

 

 **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH** : I guess ur right tho. He wouldn’t fit into this

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : …anyways

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : Sayaka, Ibuki, Komaru, Mahiru and Chiaki are in Kaede’s friend group.

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : Celes, Sonia, Mikan, Peko and I are in Kirumi’s friend group.

 

 **literally crying** : yyyess, tthtsass right

 

 **stab me daddy** : Mikan, are you alright?

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : I believe she is having trouble typing correctly because of her trembling :(

 

 **literally crying** : iiiimmmhiiimm sorryyyryy!!!

 

 **Ultimate Little Sister** : Don’t worry about it, Mikan! You don’t need to apologize :D

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : perfect. We are getting along nicely.

 

 **k a w a i i** : sooo what was the group chat made for?

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : we need to discuss our plan.

 

 **k a w a i i** : …plan?

 

**_my suspicions are confirmed_ ** _named the group chat **Operation: The Maid and the Pianist**_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooo a new ship approaches! it will be tagged when revealed.   
>  heres a hint:
> 
> its super underrated. theres barely any content for it
> 
>  
> 
> i need ideas for the next chapter!! some suggestions would be appreciated :)


	6. Is SDR2 Gay? Take a McFucking Guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How was the Super Dorm group chat created? Turn back time by a few hours to discover how.
> 
> Also, Kaede is impossibly gay, but you already knew that.
> 
> Anyways, SDR2 group chat is full of lesbians and it's incredible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYY
> 
> YOOYOYO
> 
> FEW NOTES:
> 
> Make sure to read the dates.
> 
> The SDR2 group chat is made after chapter 3.  
> The meeting for Kirumatsu was held shortly after the end of the SDR2 group chat, while the Kirumatsu chat was made a bit after that.  
> Kirumi and Kaede hung out on Saturday, but the plans to discuss this were made on Sunday.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you like this chapter!! Next one will have a big timeskip to the current date!!
> 
> ALSO! THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTIONS!!! I WILL USE THEM IN THE FUTURE

-Saturday, November 25th, 10:12am---

****

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _added **Hajime Hinata, Sonia Nevermind, Kazuichi Soda, Mikan Tsumiki, Teruteru Hanamura, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, Mahiru Koizumi, Akane Owari, Nekomaru Nidai, Chiaki Nanami, Hiyoko Saonji, Ibuki Mioda, Gundham Tanaka** and **Peko Pekoyama** to the group chat._

**_Mikan Tsumiki_ ** _was kicked from the group chat_

****

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed the group name to **Goodbye my Fucking Sanity**_

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : he

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : he

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : H E W W O

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : dear lord

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : god fucking damn it

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : boi what

 

 **Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu** : what the fuck is this

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : Harmony Dorm is always using their group chat!!! We have to beat them!!!

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : …beat them?

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : yes!!! sooooo

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : to start, get rid of ur boring names

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : or ill do it for you

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : is that a threat

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : ppftt. wats the worst u could do

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : >:3

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu** name to **$B4by G4nGt3r$**_

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : HOLY SHIT

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : YOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : EEYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : AMAZING

 

 **Akane Owari** : JUST LIKE GOD INTENDED

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : my eyes hurt from reading that

 

 **Gundham Tanaka** : an appropriate title, I must say.

 

 **Kazuichi Soda** : JUST GOT BACK

 

 **Kazuichi Soda** : WHAT DID I MISS

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : WHAT DID IIII MISSS

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : HEAD FIRST INTO THE POLITICAL ABYSS

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : H E A D  F I R S T

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : (into the abyss)

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : EYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : EYYYYYYYYY

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : EYYYYYYYYY

 

 **Kazuichi Soda** : what

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : is this some kind of cult chant

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : nagito

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : dude

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : I think you’ve forgotten that fuyuhiko literally has a personal hitman

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : youll be dead in a few minutes

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : f i n a l l y

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : relatable as fuck

 

 **Peko Pekoyama** : what is this?

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : there she is

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : boss baby ask her to kill nagito

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : kiss me urself u fuckin pussy

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : whatever. not even mad

 

 **Kazuichi Soda** : boiiii don’t lie

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : oh so that loud crashing wasn’t the sound of you punching the wall?

 

**_Mikan Tsumiki_ ** _joined the group_

 

 **Mikan Tsumiki** : oh no!! arreee yyour knuckles okkoay? D:

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : hey Mikan!!

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : why does it say she joined the group? she should have been added with the rest of us

 

 **Mikan Tsumiki** : when I got on here, it said that id been removed, iii stayed aaway ccause I thought youu hatteedd memmeee :(

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : someone kicked her when she got on?

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : uh

 

 **Gundham Tanaka** : no surprise here.

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : HEY

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : HIYOKO HOW DARE YOU

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : HEY IT WAS A JOKE CALM IT DOWN

 

 **Kazuichi Soda** : UUHH GUYS. I CAN HEAR MIKAN CRYING

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : OH NO

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : MIKAN ITS OKKAYY

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : not cool you guys

 

 **Akane Owari** : HEY BLAME HIYOKO

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : oh come on!!! it was funny!!!

 

 **Gundham Tanaka** : you are not aware of the suffering you will be put through in just a few moments.

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : BOYYIIYYY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : …peko just left her room

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : she what

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : RIP HIYOKO YOU ABOUT TO GET MURDERED

 

 **Kazuichi Soda** : SERVES YOU RIGHT

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : BYYEEEEE

 

 **Akane Owari** : PEKO STICKING UP FOR HER GIRLFRIEND YOU GO GIRL

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : girlfriend??

 

 **Akane Owari** : well they think we don’t know but… we know

 

 **fuy22** : oh wait false alarm she went to comfort mikan

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** : AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

 **Akane Owari** : AAAAA MY HEART CANT TAKE IT

 

 **Chiaki Nanami** : THAT’S SO CUTE

 

 **Ibuki Mioda** : ITS CANON BITCH

 

 **Gundham Tanaka** : it appears you are safe hiyoko.

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : lmao

 

 **Gundham Tanaka** : for now.

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : y i k e s

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : BACK TO CHANGING USERNAMES

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : GET READY FOR THIS

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Chiaki Nanami** ’s name to **insert video game reference here**_

****

**insert video game reference here** : what!! that’s boring as heck

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : well I did say ‘insert video game reference here’

 

 **insert video game reference here** : hmph

 

 **insert video game reference here** : u are like a little baby watch this

 

**_insert video game reference_ ** _here changed their name to **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo**_

****

**Nagito Komaeda** : yeah I have no idea what that means

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : >:(

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : anyways

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Peko Pekoyama** ’s name to **stab me daddy**_

****

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Ibuki Mioda** ’s name to **AAAAAAHHHHHHH**_

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Gundham Tanaka** ’s name to **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition**_

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Kazuichi Soda** ’s name to **hey wanna touch my socket wrench**_

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Akane Owari** ’s name to **I watch gymnastics for the plot**_

 

 **stab me daddy** : ...I’m sorry, what?

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : APPROPRIATE

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : I refuse to even dignify this with a response.

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : boi. what

 

 **i watch gymnastics for the plot** : what???

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : I ran out of ideas

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : gundham o my god

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : FIRST OF ALL

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : FUCK YOU NAGITO FOR PUTTING THAT GOD DAMN SONG BACK IN MY HEAD

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : SECOND OF ALL

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : W H A T

 

 **i watch gymnastics for the plot** : :I

 

**_I watch gymnastics for the plot_ ** _changed their name to **check out my big eyes**_

****

**lemme kill myselfie** : THAT’S EVEN WORSE

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : WOW

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : YEP

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : E Y E S

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : ill allow it

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : yaint the boss of this chat

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : say yaint again and I swear to fuck

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : sooo uhh

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Mahiru Koizumi** ’s name to **lemme take a selfie**_

****

**$B4by G4nGt3r$** : NO

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : FUCKING BURN IT

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : GOD DAMN IT

 

 **check out my big eyes** : WHOS PLAYING THAT SONG

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : IBUKI TURN THAT MUSIC OFF

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : >:3

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : ibuki

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : >:33

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : don’t you dare

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : >:333

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : When Jason was at the table  
I kept on seeing him look at me when he was with that other girl  
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?  
Because he was totally texting me all night last night  
And I don't know if it's a booty call or not  
So, like what do you think?  
Did you think that girl was pretty?  
How did that girl even get in here?  
Did you see her?  
She's so short and that dress is so tacky  
Who wears cheetah?  
It's not even summer, why does the DJ keep on playing Summertime Sadness?  
After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette?  
I really need one  
But first,  
Let me take a selfie

Can you guys help me pick a filter?  
I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia  
I wanna look tan  
What should my caption be?  
I want it to be clever  
How about "Livin' with my bitches, Hashtag live"  
I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes  
Do you think I should take it down?  
Let me take another selfie

Wait, pause, Jason just liked my selfie  
What a creep  
Is that guy sleeping over there?  
Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on  
That's so ratchet  
That girl is such a fake model  
She definitely bought all her Instagram followers  
Who goes out on Mondays?  
Ok, let's go take some shots  
Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up  
Oh wait, never mind I'm fine  
Let's go dance  
There's no vodka at this table  
Do you know anyone else here?  
Oh my god, Jason just texted me  
Should I go home with him?  
I guess I took a good selfie

Let me take a selfie

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : OH COME ON

 

 **check out my big eyes** : KILL IT

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : FUCKING HELL

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : IBUKI IM GONNA KILL YOU

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : TURN THE MUSIC O F F

 

**_lemme take a selfie_ ** _changed their name to **lemme kill myselfie**_

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : much better

 

 **Hiyoko Saonji** : mood

 

 **check out my big eyes** : I relate

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : me as fuck

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : same

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : eyyyyyyyyYYY

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : guys could you lighten up a little?

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : we cant all be neurotypical, karen

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : anyway uhhhh

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Hiyoko Saonji** ’s name to **minion goblin**_

 

 **minion goblin** : hey hey

 

 **minion goblin** : do you wanna die

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : hey u stole maki’s catchphrase!!!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : why a minion??

 

 **check out my big eyes** : dude

 

 **check out my big eyes** : haven’t u heart abt the minion thing from harmony’s chat??

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : what thing

 

 **check out my big eyes** : cock ichi initiated a game of google searches where u had to guess who searched what

 

 **check out my big eyes** : angie’s one was “minion porn”

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : HGFDERTUIJHGFDERTYUJHGD

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : HOLY WOWW

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : UHHH

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : w.hy^??

 

 **check out my big eyes** : hifumi commissioned a piece of a naked minion statue

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : W H AT THE FUCCKK

 

 **check out my big eyes** : it made korekiyo so FUCIKING pissed

 

 **check out my big eyes** : he yelled at hifumi in the MIDDLE OF CLASS

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **check out my big eyes** : AND HE DESTRYED THE FUCKINGG STATUE

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : HOLY SHIT

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : WHY A MINION????

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : AMAZZAIGGNG

 

 **Teruteru Hanamura** : naked minion?

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : oh sheet

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : hes been summoned

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : NAGITO ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : WHY A MINION  


**Nagito Komaeda** : welcome teruteru!!

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : also uhh

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : her hair looks like a banana

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : u know who likes bananas??

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : m I n I o n s

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : also shes short. n annoying

 

 **minion goblin** : HEY

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : ALSO EVERYONE THINKS SHES ANNOYING BUT SHES STILL HERE

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : BOYYYYYYIYYYYYY

 

 **minion goblin** : PEKO PLZ KILL HIM 4 ME

 

 **stab me daddy** : I have yet to forgive you for making mikan cry.

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : HFJGHGSHDRRJKKNKVESAOP

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : THAT’S FAIR

 

 **minion goblin** : IM BEING BULLIED

 

 **minion goblin** : I CNT BELIEVE YALL

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : anywhooooo

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : get ready for this

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Teruteru Hanamura** ’s name to **sausage italiano**_

 

 **sausage italiano** : ~very gud~

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : fucking stop

 

 **Sonia Nevermind** : hello everyone!

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : nagito

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : im watching you

 

 **check out my big eyes** : IF YOU EVEN TRY ANYTHING

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Sonia Nevermind** ’s name to **smol pure princess very kawaii~**_

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : UGHHHHHH

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : AWFUL

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : WAT THE SHIT

 

 **smol pure princess very kawaii~** : hey nagito!

 

**_Sonia Nevermind_ ** _changed their name to **this is how we do things in my country**_

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : go fuck yourself

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : OH MY GOD

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : YOU ARE INCREDIBLEEE

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : THAT WAS EXILERATING

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : ah yes, the dark witch continues to learn the way of a true warrior.

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : ^^what the fucc does that mean

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : thank you, gundham!

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : u sound kinda salty kazuichi

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : could it be

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : you are

 

 **minion goblin** : craving my mgnuggies

 

 **check out my big eyes** : what the fuck

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : …jealous??

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : of what??

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : Sonia and gundham’s relationship >:)

 

 **check out my big eyes** : :OOO

 

 **Nekomaru Nidai** : well no SHIT

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : THEY HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : he is correct.

 

 **minion goblin** : BOIIII DON’T LIE

 

-

 

_Conversation between **gay gamer** and **gay princess**_

 

 **gay princess** : wow

 

 **gay gamer** : they are dumb

 

 **gay gamer** : SO!!! CLUELESS!!!

 

 **gay princess** : I mean,,, only mahiru, peko, mikan and ibuki know

 

 **gay gamer** : yeah

 

 **gay gamer** : ur too in love with me to be with gundham <33

 

 **gay princess** : yep <333

 

 **gay gamer** : I love u :DD

 

 **gay princess** : Me too :333

 

-

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : anyways!!!

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Nekomaru Nidai** ’s name to **eat shit and die**_

 

 **eat shit and die** : I mean,,, I guess

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Mikan Tsumiki** ’s name to **literally crying**_

 

 **literally crying** : fffittininng D::

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : and finally,,,,

 

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _changed **Hajime Hinata** ’s name to **choke on my ahoge**_

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : …babe

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : what the FUCK

 

 **check out my big eyes** : y’all need jesus

 

 **eat shit and die** : agreed.

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : wow! terrible

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : I would put a lenny face here but im too lazy to copy paste

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : relatable

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : so all of the usernames are changed!! perfect

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : are they now?

 

 **Nagito Komaeda** : yep!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : :I

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : liar

**_choke on my ahoge_ ** _changed **Nagito Komaeda** ’s name to **hopexual trash bag**_

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : HAJIME HOW DARE YOU

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : someone isn’t getting laid tonight~

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : a befitting title.

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : WELL DONE

 

 **eat shit and die** : SPECTACULAR

 

 **$B4by G4nGt3r$** : what the fuck! its amazing

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : most spectacular!

 

 **sausage italiano** : did someone say sexual?~

 

 **minion goblin** : THAT’S PAYBACK MOTHERFUCKER

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : YEEEEEEAAAAA

 

 **check out my big eyes** : ACCURATE

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : HEY IM BEING BULLIED

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : GUYSS

 

 **stab me daddy** : anyways, I believe I must go.

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : yep! same here

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : me too

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : I should get going as well

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : where are you all going?

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : none of ur business degenerate

 

 **sausage italiano** : stealing tenko’s lines now, are we?

 

 **literally crying** : hguhiiiuiiii mmuusttt goo gooooo aassweelll :(((

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : what the heck are they doing?

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : it is of no concern to us.

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : kinda suspicious tho, riiight?

 

 **minion goblin** : I hope they plan ur death fuckwad

 

-

 

**_\---Operation: Maid and the Pianist---_ **

\---Sunday, November 26th, 7:09pm---

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : sooo…. any news?

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : SORRY FOR BEING LATE

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : no problem, we have just begun.

 

 **stab me daddy** : has something happened between those two?

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : YEEEPP

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : SOURCES FROM INSIDE THE HARMONY DORM HAVE SAID THAT KAEDE AND KIRUMI WERE GONE ALL DAY YESTERDAY AND THAT NO ONE HAD SEEN THEM

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : however, I can confirm that they were out in town all day together, most likely doing early Christmas shopping.

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : AWWW

 

 **Ultimate Little Sister** : so uhhh… what now??

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : I suggest we talk to them both to see how it went.

 

 **literally crying** : yyyeeepp

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : I feel kinda bad…

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : it feels like we are meddling in their private affairs…

 

 **k a w a i i** : I know kaede has a MAJOR crush on kirumi!! she talks about her nonstop

 

 **stab me daddy** : and kirumi has stated that she also has a crush on kaede, but believes she is in a relationship with shuichi

 

 **stab me daddy** : she is too afraid to make a move

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : it would be nice to see our friends happy, agreed?

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : that’s true!!! its obvious they like each other

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : well then, tomorrow we will meet with them separately to talk with them.

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : agreed.

 

-

 

Kaede closed the door to her room with a thud, and immediately lost all tension in her body.

She threw herself onto her bed, hands clamped over her eyes. She felt like yelling.

After experiencing the greatest day of her life yesterday, how could she not want to scream?

An entire day shopping with her crush, the two just having a great time together? Incredible.

Kirumi was so calm, yet so friendly, yet so serious, yet so funny, yet so smart, yet so-

Kaede’s mind raced on and on as she thought about the pretty maid. Soon, she felt her body grow tired as she began to melt into her covers, sleep overtaking her.

Just then, she heard a bing and noticed something light up at the edge of her vision. Reaching her arm toward the light, she grabbed the object, her phone, and checked the screen, which delayed the drowsiness for a moment or two.

It was a text message from her girl friend’s group chat- a message from Komaru Naegi.

Just before exhaustion won her over, Kaede managed to read the message.

 

-

**_\---Music Nerds Band Together---_ **

\---Sunday, November 26th, 11:06pm---

 

 **Ultimate Little Sister** : Hey girl, meet us in the music room after school tomorrow. We gotta discuss your day out with kirumi ;)

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kukuku
> 
> MORE RAREPAIRS
> 
> im experimenting a bit
> 
> i added some actual text instead of just chat typing so u can immerse urselfves a bit more?? idk
> 
> also!!! i will be writing a fic about kaede and kirumi's shopping trip ;))
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!! COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED!!
> 
> anyway its 11pm n i cant feel my fingers


	7. Kokichi is both Closet Gay and Closet Weeb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi, the little bitch, gets bored and decides to change usernames.  
> Needless to say, Kokichi was CRUSHED by how much everyone hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYON!!
> 
> today is christmas sooo new chapter!!
> 
> im gonna try to post a mini christmas fic today if i can
> 
> ALSOOO
> 
> there a SPOILERS for the game in this chapter, as in victims and culprits. You cant miss them
> 
> thank you for the OVERWHELMING support on this fic!!!

\---Thursday, December 21st, 3:33am---

**how to top when you are 5ft tall** : hhey

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : if a human eats a nother human

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : with ccnconsent

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : is it still cannibalism

 

 **shinGUCCI** : kokichi

 

 **shinGUCCI** : it is

 

 **shinGUCCI** : 3 AM

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : hes right tho

 

 **shirogaNYA** : NO HE DOESN’T

 

 **shirogaNYA** : I MEAN NO HES NOT

 

 **peel the avocado** : OUMA WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **shylock homos** : of course its still cannibalism

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : nnno itss not

 

 **delete your account** : what is it then?

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : vore

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : JHDERTUJFDSERGFDSEIJ

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : SCREW YOU

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : wow! what the fuck

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : MOTHER FUCKER

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : im not a motherfuckerr

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : thhheres only 1 motherrfcucker here

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : WHO?

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : kkaede

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : oh my god

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : WHAT

 

 **shirogaNYA** : KIRUMATSU CONFIRMED

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : whats going on?? im fuking tired

 

 **shylock homos** : nothing!!!

 

 **peel the avocado** : guys stop

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : ayway oooyuuuhhh im tiired but since im basically durnk im gonna change some usernnames

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : don’t

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : shuichi put ur bfriend under control!!

 

 **shylock homos** : what the hell am I supposed to do???

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : SUCH LANGUAGE

 

 **how to top when you are 5ft tall** : y’all rready for this

 

**_how to top when you are 5ft tall_ ** _changed their name to **ouma wa mou shindeiru**_

****

**shirogaNYA** : AWW NO FAIR

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : WHAT HHPAAPPENED TO HIS PNUSIHMENT

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : a username like that is punishment enough.

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : ryoma why are tttyppingi so nnormmlally?? arrent yyuu tired??

 

 **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** : I am in a constant state of fatigue. nothing fazes me anymore. ive pushed past that and now dwell above. my soul has projected to the astral plane, where it shall remain till the end of my days and beyond my death.

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : fucking relate

 

 **shinGUCCI** : same

 **shylock homos** : same

 

 **shirogaNYA** : same

 

 **delete your account** : same

 

 **peel the avocado** : same

 

 **ultimatePENIS** : same

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : same

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh btw rryoma

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **say_goodbye_to_your_kneecaps_asshole** ’s name to **holy fuck it’s sans undertale**_

****

**holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : im gonna fucking kill you

 

 **peel the avocado** : oh yeah btw in my dreams with the bear thing ryoma got turned to a skeleton

 

 **shirogaNYA** : steven after nnot surviving

 

 **delete your account** : shut the fuck up shirogane

 

 **mothergoose** : whats going on?

 

 **shinGUCCI** : oh shit

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : its mother!!!

 

 **mothergoose** : go to bed, all of you. we have work to do to prepare the Christmas party.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yyyepepepeep

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : iilll ckeep cchanghing uusernameessse tommoroow ;)))             

 

 

 

\---Thursday, December 21st, 10:23am---

 

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : heyyy!!

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : FUCK

 

 **delete your account** : dear lord

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : go away!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : UUUGGHHHH

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : boii!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow. really feeling the love

 

 **shylock homos** : babe come over

 

 **shylock homos** : I think im sick

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :OO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IM ON MY WAY IM BRINGING BLANKETS

 

 **mothergoose** : shall I bring hot chocolate?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yes mom!!!

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : this is so pure oh my gosh

 

 **shinGUCCI** : sorry for yelling at you kokichi

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : goals

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okay!! now

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : LETS CONTINUE

 

 **shinGUCCI** : OH GOD DAMMIT

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : nevermind! go fuck yourself!

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : it was fun while it lasted

 

 **xxxTIDDIESxxx** : fuck u im changing my own username

 

**_xxxTIDDIESxxx_ ** _changed their name to **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy**_

 

 **delete your account** : I am going to fucking ASSASSINATE YOU

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : EYYYY

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **shinGUCCI** : …shes not wrong

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : SHUT THE FUCK UP SHINGUCCI

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : MIU I SWEAR TO FUCK

 

 **peel the avocado** : JKHHJNHFYESRAEWJIOMKLMLRDA

 

 **shylock homos** : I just got 10 times sicker

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : a n y w a y

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **delete your account** ’s name to **ass ass in**_

****

**ass ass in** : any uhhh get ready to die

 

 **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** : kill him babe!! I believe in u

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **buzz lightyear, first man on the moon** ’s name to **whaddup im jared im 19 and I never fucking learned how to read**_

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : WHAT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IDK!!! YOU JUST REMIND ME OF HIM!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : I cant read suddenly, I don’t know

 

 **shinGUCCI** : yeah jared

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **ultimatePENIS** ’s name to **mmotherfuckerr**_

 

 **mmotherfuckerr** : wwhat

 

 **mmotherfuckerr** : why??

 

 **peel the avocado** : …she doesn’t remember

 

 **mmotherfuckerr** : WHAT??

 

**_shylock homos_ ** _changed **mmotherfuckerr** ’s name to **sing me a song ur the piano gay**_

 

 **shylock homos** : I saved you

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : good!!!

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : mlm/wlw solidarity

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : im confused

 

 **shirogaNYA** : …kirumatsu

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : ?????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anywwwaayyyy

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **peel the avocado** ’s name to **the grinch is gay and so am i**_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : Christmas spirit!!!

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : I FUCKING LOVE IT

 

 **shinGUCCI** : is everyone in this chat gay??

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : yes

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : yes

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yes

 

 **mothergoose** : correct.

 

 **Hermione GAYnger** : yes

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : yes

 

 **god is dead and we killed him** : yes

 

 **shylock homos** : yes

 

 **ass ass in** : im bi

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : same

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : IM PAN

 

 **shirogaNYA** : me too!!

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : im ace

 

 **they-followin-me-ma** : gonta loves everyone!!

 

 **shinGUCCI** : wow

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fellas is it gay

 

 **shylock homos** : yes

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : good

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : MOOD

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **Hermione GAYnger** ’s name to **nyahhh**_ **_:3_ **

 

 **nyahhh :3** : what

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : fucking weeb

 

 **shirogaNYA** : kokichi is secretly a closet weeb

 

 **shylock homos** : considering the amount of time he spent in the closet I would be surprised

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OH MY GOD

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : WOW

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **mothergoose** ’s name to **ppianofuckerr**_

**_shylock homos_ ** _changed **ppianofuckerr** ’s name to **mothergoose**_

 

 **shylock homos** : begone.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : boi!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im tryna be a wingman here

 

 **ass ass in** : whats going on???

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : so

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **mothergoose** ’s name to **sorry mommy ive been bad**_

****

**god is dead and we killed him** : god left

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : god JOINED

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : im gonna FUCKING MURDER YOU

 

 **ass ass in** : KOKICHI YOU BITCH

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : NOOOOOO

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : JUST CHANGE THE MOMMY TO DADDY

 

 **shinGUCCI** : DO NOT

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : man who thought he lost all hope loses last bit of hope he didn’t know he had

 

 **nyahhh :3** : I HATE YOU

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : WHAT ARE YOU DOING

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : HJDYWWUIOJKLNKESRW

 

 **shinGUCCI** : RANTARO STOP FUCKING KEYBOARD SMASHING

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : THAT WAS MY HEAD HITTING THE PHONE

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : IM FUCKING DONE WITH YOU KOICHI

 

**_sing me a song ur the piano gay_ ** _changed **sorry mommy ive been bad** ’s name to **mother hates you all**_

 

 **mother hates you all** : thank you kaede.

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : you’re welcome!

 

 **shirogaNYA** : :o

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : gay

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : SKLDJSKJDKDJKJDKEISKDJAKD

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : also!! nice name,, butt lemme tweak it

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **mother hates you all** ’s name to **mother hates everyone but kaede**_

 

 **shirogaNYA** : APPROPRIATE

 

 **shinGUCCI** : …better I guess

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : kokichi what

 

 **mother hates everyone but kaede** : he’s not wrong

 

 **shylock homos** : WHAT

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : OOOOOOOOOHH

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : KAEDE IS IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME SHE IS BLUSHING

 

 **shirogaNYA** : HO LY F  U  C  K

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ahem

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : we interrupt gay to bring youu

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **god is dead and we killed him** ’s name to **yaint goin tuh heaven**_

****

**the grinch is gay and so am i** : Y A I N T

 

 **ass ass in** : FUCKER

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : I imagine that what it would sound like if goofy said that

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : fuck you

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : WHY

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : I mean its still true

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** 2: im having flashbacks to when shingucci yelled at hifumi in class

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : YOU MEAN

 

 **shinGUCCI** : MIU

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : BECAUSE OF

 

 **shinGUCCI** : STOP RIGHT NOW

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : THE MINION STATUE?

 

 **shinGUCCI** : IM GONNA FF U C KINH KILL YOU

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : its funny cuz in my dreams miu died

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : WHAT

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : gonta killed her

 

 **ass ass in** : LIAR

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : FUCKING LIAR

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : I want gonta to kill me

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : actually ryoma

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : kirumi killed you

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : what

 

 **catch these lesbian hands** : wow I love a woman who can fucking kill me

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **catch these lesbian hands** ’s name to **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep**_

****

**whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : stronk??

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : stronk.

 

 **shirogaNYA** : tenko stop hitting on kaedes girlfriend!!

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : shes not my girlfriend!!

 

 **ass ass in** : …yet

 

 **sing me a song ur the piano gay** : boii

 

**_sing me a song ur the piano gay_ ** _changed their name to **im taking a break, nothing personal**_

 

**_im taking a break, nothing personal_ ** _has deleted themselves from **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

 

 **ass ass in** : just leave it tsumugi

 

 **shirogaNYA** : I feel really bad now…

 

 **shirogaNYA** : im gonna go apologize after this!!

****

**nyahhh :3** : wait a min rantaro

 

 **nyahhh :3** : how did gonta kill miu??

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : choked me with his BIG, HARD

 

 **ass ass in** : finish that sentence and you die, bitch

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : arms

 

 **ass ass in** : …you live another day

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : he did choke her but not with his “arms”

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : choked her with toilet paper

 

 **nyahhh :3** : fitting

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : ???

 

 **nyahhh :3** : YEAH CUZ SHES SUCH  PIECE OF SHIT

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : FUCK YOU MIDGET

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : YOU WANNA FUCKING FIGHT

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : MEET ME IN THE DENNYS PARKING LOT AT 3AM BITCH

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : ILL WHIPE THE FLOOR WITH YOU LIKE GONTA WHIPED YOU WITH THAT TOILET PAPER

 

 **nyahhh :3** : CUZ SHE IT SHIT

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dick.com** : everyone, you are making her cry.

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : that’s what those noises are?? sounds more like moaning

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : it is

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : probably

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :o

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : keebs stopped being a cryptid for one second!!

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dick.com** : ive decided to join you.

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : we were just talking about how gonta killed miu in my dreams

 

 **shylock homos** : yeah right ranty :I

 

 **shylock homos** : u really are the weed man

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : we can talk about his fucked up dreams later

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : theres something I need to do

 

 ** _ouma wa mou shindeiru_** _changed_ shylock ** _homos_** _’s name to **NANI?!**_

 

 **NANI?!** : WHY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : boyfriends with matching names!!

 

 **NANI?!** : thanks! it heccing succs

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : oh my god

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dick.com** : ive made a mistake in joining you.

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : you and me both buddy

 

**_NANI?!_ ** _changed their name to **shylock homos**_

****

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : aww

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ur boring :II

 

 **shylock homos** : ur literally right next to me

 

 **shylock homos** : I could make u sick right now

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : how??

 

 **shirogaNYA** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **shinGUCCI** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **ass ass in** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **nyahhh :3** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oooohhh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I see

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : well then

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I wouldn’t mind~~~ ;))

 

 **shylock homos** : that’s not what I meant

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dick.com** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **shylock homos** : oh my god

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I think we’re almost done with usernames!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : however shu

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ur name is boring so I still need to change it

 

 **shylock homos** : f I n e

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **shylock homos** ’s name to **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu**_

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : WHAT

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : FUCKING HELL

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : OH MY GOD

 

 **ass ass in** : FUCK

 

 **shinGUCCI** : THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND

 

 **shirogaNYA** : SHES GONNA KIL YOU KOKICHI

 

 **shirogaNYA** : DON’T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH KIRIGIRI CARES ABOUT SHUICHI??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : she wont find out shh

 

 **shinGUCCI** : …kokichi

 

 **shinGUCCI** : kirumi is very close friends with her

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fuck

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : before I die tho

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **they-followin-me-ma** ’s name to **i stuck my dick in an anthill once**_

 

 **www.do-robots-have-dick.com** : ?????

 

 **ass ass in** : now we’re all going to kill you

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : oh my god

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : it true D:

 

 **holy fuck it’s sans undertale** : WHAT

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : W H A T

 

 **shinGUCCI** : WHAT THE  F U C  KKK

 

 **nyahhh :3** : BOIIII???????????  


**i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : EXCUSE ME?????????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : GONTA STOPS BEING A CRYPTID FOR ONE SECOND O CONFESS ON HAVING PUT HIS DICK IN ANTHILL?????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : WHAT

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : IS THIS REAL LIFE

 

 **ass ass in** : im going to murder you

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : this is like deja vue

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : remember when this chat was made n maki almost killed kokichi??

 

 **shirogaNYA** : good times

 

 **shylock homos** : wish we could turn back time. to the good old days

 

 **agar.io is basically ust a vore orgy** : SHYHARA STOP BEING EMO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHUICHI HO DARE YOU

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : EVERYONE WATS TO KILL ME BUT WAIT

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **shirogaNYA** ’s name to **naruto is my senpai**_

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : bitch

 

 **shinGUCCI** : you’ve been watching way to much anime kokichi

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : well its accurate

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : w h a t

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and finally,,,

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **www.do-robots-have-dicks.com** ’s name to **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster**_

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : no surprise here.

 

 **nyahhh :3** : what about kiyo???

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh right

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I kinda like his username,,,

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : you changed our names, change his

 

 **shinGUCCI** : please don’t

 

 **ass ass in** : you can redeem yourself here kokichi.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hmmm

 

 **shinGUCCI** : spare me

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **shinGUCCI** ’s name to **minion daddy**_

 

 **ass ass in** : nope

 

 **ass ass in** : prepare to die motherfucker

 

 **minion daddy** : im joining you guys

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHU HELP ME

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : I cant

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : im sick

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : BABE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : THEY’RE GONNA CRUSH ME

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : that’s ironic

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ?????

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : …never mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new names!!!
> 
> Rantaro: the grinch is gay and so am i  
> Kaede: sing me a song ur the piano gay  
> Shuichi: im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu  
> Kokichi: ouma wa mou shindeiru  
> Miu: agar.io is basically just a vore orgy  
> Ryoma: holy fuck it's sans undertale  
> Gonta: i stuck my dick in an anthill once  
> Kaito: whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read  
> Angie: yaint goin tuh heaven  
> Kirumi: mother hates all of you but kaede  
> Tenko: i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep  
> Himiko: nyahh :3  
> Kiyo: minion daddy  
> Kiibo: instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster  
> Tsumugi: naruto is my senpai  
> Maki: ass ass in
> 
>  
> 
> happy holidays everyone!!!


	8. Oh Shit! The Original Rantaro is here with a Sanity Crushing Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SDR2 is back!
> 
> Nagito decides to play a "fun" game. Things get gay really quickly, as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COUGH
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR MY DUDEDDDDSS
> 
> i start school again soon, so it might be a while before the next chapter
> 
> this chapter was inspired by this incredible chatfic by unavoidablekoishi!!!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/10891134/chapters/24206247
> 
> PLEASE go read it, its so hilarious. give the author lots of support!!!
> 
>  
> 
> ALSOOOO  
> HUGGEEEEEEEE thanks to cocoabeanwriting for the fanart!!! i love it sm please go give them some love!!!  
> https://deeriaxx.tumblr.com/search/This+is+a+crappy
> 
>  
> 
> ANYWAY, HERES CHAPTER 8!!!

\---Thursday, December 28th, 3:56pm---

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **14 names**_

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : hey dudes

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : what the fuck do you want

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : WAIT

 

 **Also hits on Kirumi** : WAIT A MINUTE

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : THE FUCKKKK

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : ;)))

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : ??????????

 

 **Is hella gay for mikan** : what?

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : NAGITO WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : UHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **Is dating Chiaki** : what has happened to our usernames?

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : BOIIIII

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : WHATTTT

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : SCUSE ME

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : as I was saying, hello!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : you may have noticed your names are different!! cause we playing a game!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : the harmony dorm also played a game but we’re doing it better!!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : all ur names have been changed to something you did, or something about you. you gotta guess who is who :))

 

 **Had a crush on Hajime once** : NO

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : somebody kissed Mahiru???

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : SOMEBODY IS DATING CHIAKI???

 

 **Cried over a dead fly** : what is happening!!

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : I already have a guess that cried over a dead fly is mikan

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : unless gonta has been hiding in this chat

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : that was easyyy

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Cried over a dead fly** ’s name to **literally crying**_

 

 **literally crying** : well done! it was pretty easy though

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : hey uh

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : what the FUCK happened to mikan???

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : I think kazuichi and miu teamed up to make her a device that would let her type without the trembling

 

 **literally crying** : Yes! I can type clearly now! :D

 

 **Also hits on Kirumi** : you’re welcome by the way :D

 

 **Also hits on Kirumi** : wait

 

 **Also hits on Kirumi** : FUC K

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : EYYYYYYY

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : HE WAS EXPOSED

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : NAH HE EXPOSED HIMSELF

 

 **Constantly hits on Kirumi** : KAZUICHI HOW DAREE

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : I mean. it was already really obvious before

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : too bad kirumi completely uninterested in both of you lmao

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : kirumi has both kazuichi and teruteru flirting with her?? someone help her

 

 **Constantly hits on Kirumi** : howd you know it was me??

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : because its YOU

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Constantly hits on Kirumi** ’s name to **sausage italiano**_

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Also hits on Kirumi** ’s name to **hey wanna touch my socket wrench**_

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : that’s 3 down!!!

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : hey hajime

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : yeah

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : OH GOD DAMMIT

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : JHGDSERTYUKSWEUINBVCSW

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : WOW THAT WAS EASYYY

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : I KNEW IT WASN’T NATURAL

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : oh come on ur the only one here who has an ahoge

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : that’s not true!!! what about akane!!!

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : …ur right

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : but hey

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : whatever

 

 **Styles his ahoge every morning** : go back to reading ur bowser x reader yaoi chiaki

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : ??????

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : W H AT

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : FUCK YOU HAJIME

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : WAIT CHIAKI IS THAT YOU

 

 **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** : UH

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : FUCKING EXPOSED

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Styles his ahoge every morning** ’s name to **choke on my ahoge**_

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Caught reading Bowser x reader yaoi** ’s name to **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo**_

 

 **Is hella gay for mikan** : how did you know it was chiaki?

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : first of all, chiaki has a major crush on bowser

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : THAT’S NOT TRUEEEEE

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : don’t we all

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : what the f u ck

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : SECOND

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : im the one who caught her reading it

 

 **sausage italiano** : OI

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : ???? THE FUCK

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : OLE NAIRES

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : ur dead to me

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : I was reading it ironically!!!!

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : whatever. it was really ooc anyway

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : JGFDSEDSERUINBVSERTYUIK

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : anyway uhhh

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : expose urself fuyuhiko, u boss baby loving fuck

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : you think that’s fuyuhiko??

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : obviously

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : what the fuck??? why would you assume its me???

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : OOOOOOOHHHHH

 

 **Really likes the movie boss baby** : FU CK

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : I WAS RIGHT

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : WELL DOOOONE

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : HOLD UP

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : IS THAT WHY THERE A BOSS BABY DVD IN THE LIVING ROOM??

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : THERES A WHA T

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : a dvd??? goddamn

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : fuyuhiko: watches boss baby

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : fuyuhiko, looking at himself in the mirror: “wow. life imitates art”

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : OH MY GOD

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : !!!!!!!

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : holy shit!!! he looks EXACTLY like the boss baby!!!!

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : you think?

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : more like a boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : …hholy shit

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : OH MY FUCKING GOD

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : CHIAKI UR A GENIUS

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Really likes the movie boss baby** ’s name to **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc**_

****

**Fell of the stage during a show** : ur both gonna die

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : peko’s gonna kill you both

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : I feel like this has happened before

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : ugh

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : that’s all you have to say???

 

 **sausage italiano** : if you punched another hole into the wall I swear to FUCK

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : I thought another hole would excite you???

 

 **sausage italiano** : actually. ur right

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : wow

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : peko!!! where are you!!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : I don’t think shes gonna reveal herself

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : well I already know what her name was changed too

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : its really obvious

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : mhm

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : should we say it??

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : OH I GET IT

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : ??? get what???

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : peko is totally gay for mikan

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : of course

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : WHAT???

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : ??????

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : how did you not know???

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : fuyuhiko shes practically ur sis

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : fuyuhiko’s gaydar is obviously broken

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : he cant even notice how hard kazuichi is crushing on him

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : ??????? UH

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : WHAT?????

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : were getting sidetracked

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : I need a fucking break

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : did they both just go offline???

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : ive seen enough anime to know where this is going

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : HEY UH

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : PEKOOOOO

 

 **Is hella gay for mikan** : yes?

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : confirmed!!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : …anddd she just went offline

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : SO DID MIKANNNN

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Is hella gay for Mikan** ’s name to **stab me daddy**_

****

**what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : those were the easiest ones to guess

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : now what??

 

 **sausage italiano** : we’re down 4 people

 

 **sausage italiano** : but there are a few usernames that have not appeared yet!!!

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : whos the stripper pole duo??

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : i. never thought I would ever hear those words

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : cough cough

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : akane broke her leg and nekomaru broke the pole

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : WHAT

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : WHAT

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : I WAS THERE

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : I DARED YOU TO DO IT

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : HGFDSEYUJGDSERYUIKS

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : UM

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : EXCELLENT

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : NOT SURPRISED

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : AHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHHAH

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : ur the one who dared us??

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : wait so

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : …mahiru?

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : uh

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : FUCKING

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : WAIT

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : f urrY Porn????????

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : IT WASN’T MY FAULT

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : SATO PUT THEM IN MY CAMERA ROLL AS A JOKE

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : is that why you didn’t let me look in ur camera roll?

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : um

 

 **sausage italiano** : ill say it again

 

 **sausage italiano** : ~mmmm very gud~

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : are you ready to die

 

 **sausage italiano** : hic

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : wait

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : NAGITO DID YOU LOOK THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : uh

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : uhh

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : uhuhuhhhhhh

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : HAJIMEEE

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : BOIII

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : im not helping you!!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : mahiru’s gonna kill meee!!!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : yeah

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : it be like that sometimes

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : damn I guess it do

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : what the fuck is going on

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : and they say romance is dead

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : this is gay

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : good

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : yes

 

 **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** : correct

 

 **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** : yep

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : indeed!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : yeah

 

 **Has furry porn in their camera roll** : thank god

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : ANYWAYYY

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : well done!!!!

****

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Broke their leg pretending to strip dance** ’s name to **check out my big eyes**_

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Broke a POLE pretending to strip dance** name to **eat shit and die**_

****

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Has furry porn in their camera roll’s** name to **lemme kill myselfie**_

****

**check out my big eyes** : HEY WAIT

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : ??

 

 **check out my big eyes** : I didn’t wanna reveal myself

 

 **check out my big eyes** : but fuyuhiko gave me a burst of inspiration earlier

 

 **_check out my big eyes_ ** _changed their name to **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair**_

****

**Kissed Mahiru once** : JHFDSTYURYTYIFDRE%%^&*UIOJKJHG

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : THAT’S BETTER

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : YES

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : hey uh

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : nagito

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : are you gonna let us leave soon?

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : y’all are trapped until all names are guessed

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : WHAT

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : M M

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : NOPPPEEEEEE

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : HEY WAIT

 

 **sausage italiano** : I have stuff I need to dooo

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : who’s the stuff??

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : himself obvs

 

 **sausage italiano** : wow

 

 **sausage italiano** : im out lmao

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : STOP LOGGING OF

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : nagito lots of people are absent so lets just finish the game later!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : ffffffine

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : but im coming over

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : oh gOD DAMMIT

 

-

 

\---Friday, December 29th, 12:12pm---

 

 **stab me daddy** : kicks down the door

 

 **stab me daddy** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : /????

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : uh peko????

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : are you okay??

 

 **eat shit and die** : NAGITO ARE YOU HACKING HER PHONE

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : aaand I immediately get blamed :(

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : its not him, I promise

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : hes with me and hes only typing on his phone

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : so uh peko whats going on!!!

 

 **stab me daddy** : KAZUICHI AND FUYUHIKO ARE DATING

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : W H AT

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : WHAT???????????

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : HOLE SHITTTTT!!!

 

 **stab me daddy** : THEY JUST TOLD MEEEEEEEE

 

 **stab me daddy** : THEY WANTED ME TO TELL YOU GUYSSSSS

 

 **eat shit and die** : HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : OH MY GOODDTUGFFHGCFDGRKDFSETYUDSYUVDS

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : FUCKIGGINGSSCCM FINNINGAALYYYY

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : SINCE WHEN????

 

 **stab me daddy** : SINCE YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

 

 **stab me daddy** : THEY CONFESSED TO EACH OTHER BJCHGKQYCYWTRUFF

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : that’s great!!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : but still why are you acting so weird peko????

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : I think I can answer that

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : basically, she and mikan are also dating now

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **eat shit and die** : OHHHH MYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDD

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKK

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : IS IT GAY IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : :OOOOOOOOOO

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : so she’s a bit. giddy

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : ohhhhh reAllYYY>???

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : well im happy for all four of you!!!

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : hewwo

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : hi

 

 **literally crying** : hello!!

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : THERE THEY AREEEEE

 

 **Is dating Chiaki** : hello everyone!

 

 **sausage italiano** : :OO

 

 **sausage italiano** : THEY FINALLY SHOWED

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : its time for round 2 of the game!!! guess the remaining names!!!

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : u just ruined the moment

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : im ignoring that

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : I explained everything to the peeps who were absent

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : so lets go!!! you have four more people to guess!!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : we don’t really have a choice

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : hmm

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : should I expose hiyoko?

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : don’t u dare

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : there she is

 

 **Fell of the stage during a show** : SHIT

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : that was wayyy to easy

 

 **eat shit and die** : I was expecting that to be ibuki

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : I can also expose ibuki, and I will since she gave me permission

 

 **Kissed Mahiru once** : HEWOOOOO ITS ME IBUKI

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : should have known

 

 **Is dating Chiaki** : you kissed?

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : it was a while ago

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : lets just move on

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : alrighty

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Kissed Mahiru o**_ **_nce_ ** _’s name to **AAAAAAHHHHHHH**_

****

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** **_changed_ ** **_Fell of the stage during a show_ ** **_’s name to_ ** **_minion goblin_ **

**hopesexual trash bag** : only two left!!!

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : only Sonia and gundham left!

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : ahem

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : I am 100% sure that gundham had a crush on hajime

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : wait

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : WHA T

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : :DDD

 

 **Had a crush on Hajime once** : uh

 

 **Had a crush on Hajime once** : I MUST VANISH

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : HOLD ONNNN

 

 **sausage italiano** : :OOO

 

 **eat shit and die** : WAIT A SECOND

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : IF THAT’S GUNDHAM

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : THEN SONIA IS DATING CHIAKI????

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : :o

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : WAITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

 **literally crying** : I KNEW IT

 

 **stab me daddy** : I WAS RIGHT

 

 **Is dating Chiaki** : !!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : THIS KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTERRR

 

 **minion goblin** : OWO WHATS THIS

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **eat shit and die** : OH MY GODDDDDDD

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : ITTTTTSSSSSS CANONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Had a crush on Hajime once** ’s name to **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition**_

****

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Is dating Chiaki** ’s name to **this is how we do things in my country**_

****

**hopesexual trash bag** : congrats y’all!!!! you’ve finished the game!!!

 

 **minion goblin** : fuccing finaly

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : FREEDOOOOOMMM

 

 **eat shit and die** : in the time we spent playing this game,,,

 

 **eat shit and die** : peko and mikan as well as fuyuhiko and kazuichi started dating, and we learned that chiaki and sonia were already dating!!!!

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : god damn

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : :D

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : :D

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : what should we do now??

 

 **literally crying** : im busy

 

pe **hopesexual trash bag** : yes, we have friends coming over, and a lot of them

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : yep!!!

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : me, mahiru, chiaki, Sonia, mikan, komaru, peko, kirumi, kaede, celes and kyoko are all having a sleepover!!!

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : wow

 

 **sausage italiano** : that’s… a lot of girls

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : well I guess we should return to doing our own things!! this was fun!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : it was really gay

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : HELL YEAH IT WAS

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will i stop adding ships???
> 
> hmm. no


	9. From Cursed, to Pure, to Twice as Cursed is the Way of the Group Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New years resolutions. Things can only get worse from there.
> 
> On a gayer note, what Shuichi and Kokichi have been waiting for since the dawn of time is finally happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> havent... updated in a while  
> i was busy with school n my other fic
> 
> enjoy this chapter!!  
> idk what else to put here

\---Tuesday, January 9th, 4:22pm---

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : henllo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : happy new year!!!!!!!

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : … new year was 9 days ago

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : dude wtf

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yall are meannnnn

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im tryna be nice!!!

 

 **ass ass in** : im not playing another fucking game

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : oh lordy

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : …well technically its not a game

 

 **minion daddy** : noppeee

 

 **nyahh :3** : YOU STILL HAVENT CHANGED UR USERNAME?????????

 

 **minion daddy** : oh right

 

**_minion daddy_ ** _changed their name to **shinGUCCI**_

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : the evil has been defeated

 

**_im taking a break, nothing personal_ ** _joined **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : :o

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : SHES BACC

**_im taking a break, nothing personal_ ** _changed their name to **kaegay**_

 

 **kaegay** : HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : welcome back! :D

 

 **kaegay** : DID I MISS ANYTHINGGG

 

 **ass ass in** : only kokichi being a dumbass

 

 **ass ass in** : so,,, not much

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : GLAD UR BACK

 

 **nyahh :3** : HEY WAITTTTTTTTTTT

 

 **nyahh :3** : I FORGOT

 

 **nyahh :3** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENKO

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : :OOO

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : HAPPY BDAY

 

 **shinGUCCI** : happy birthday

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENKO!!!!!!!!! :D

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hap

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : birth

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : you were born

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : happy additional revolution around the sun!!!

 

 **ass ass in** : you’re still alive. congrats

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : jfc maki

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : happy birthday tenko!!!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : aaaaaaahhh thank you girls!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ??? what about us dudes

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : go fuck urselves

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : wow

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi you said something about a game?

 

 **shinGUCCI** : do NOT ENCOURAGE IT

 

 **nyahh :3** : did you just call kokichi an “it”?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : fitting

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : FIRST OF ALL

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OUCH

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SECOND OF ALL

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ITS NOT A GAME

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : what is it then??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okokokokkk so its new years

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : again, that was NINE DAYS AGO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hmph

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anyways,,,, I thought we should share our new years resolutions!!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : that… s actually not a bad idea

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : hole shit!! he said something decent!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : !!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : wow!! theres no way this could ever end up being a bad idea!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : however,,, everyone needs to be here soooo  

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : brb

 

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, January 9th, 4:37pm---

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : WHAT THE F U C C IS UP

 

 **shinGUCCI** : dear lord

 

 **ass ass in** : shes here

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : BEGONE

 

 **naruto is my senpai** :         T      H       O       T

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : JHDSERUIJSWERTYUIJVCSWERTYUK

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : I CAN HEAR IT

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta no like that video, because beetle get chucked across room D:

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : you’ve seen that video???

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : yes, it was shown to gonta D:

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : whoever showed him that video

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : SQUARE THE FU CK UP

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : it was kokichi!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : shocking

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow. this betrayal

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : girls help me knock some sense into him

 

 **nyahh :3** : yep!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : FUCING FINALLY

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : not even atua can save you now bitch!!!

 

 **kaegay** : ur lucky kokichi

 

 **kaegay** : id love to have seven girls kill me

 

 **nyahh :3** : mood of the century

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : are we all here??

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : I wish I wasn’t.

 

 **instruction unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : unfortunately

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : what about mother???

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : im here

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : howdy yall

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : JFDSERIKBVDSWE^&IKJSWEIKVCSWE

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : OH MY GOODNESS

  
  
**shinGUCCI** : that was…. unexpected

 

 **nyahh :3** : is someone hacking her phone?

 

 **ass ass in** : kokichi what did you do

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : boiiii I get automatically blamed

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im not hacking anything!!!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : sure jan

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : whatever

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : lets start

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : !!!! thank

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : whos going first

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : mhhmmm

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : how about we do this in alphabetical order?

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : with last names

 

 **nyahh :3** : DANG

 

 **nyahh :3** : IM ALWAYS LAST ON THOSE LISTS

 

 **the grinch is gay and so am i** : eyy lmao

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh yeah that reminds mee

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed the **grinch is gay and so am I** ’s name to **freeshovacadoo**_

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WHY

 

 **shinGUCCI** : I thought we were DONE WITH THE NAME CHANGING

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : crismus is over buddy

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : N E V E R

 

 **ass ass in** : lets not get into this please

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : AGREED

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : AKAMATSU SAN UR FIRST

 

 **kaegay** : dunot call be that

 

 **kaegay** : anyway uhh

 

 **kaegay** : play more piano I guess

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : BE MORE CREATIVE THAN THAT PIANOBAKA

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : what kind of loser plays the piano???

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : you gotta

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** :     F    U C     K     T       H     EE   P I     A              N O

 

 **shinGUCCI** : NO

 

 **ass ass in** : N O

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : miu I cannot believe this

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : DON’T ACT SURPRISED

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : AWFUL

 

 **shinGUCCI** : years of studying humans led me to THIS

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : DO NOT FUCK THE PIANO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HOSHI KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : I DO  N O T

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : CURSED POST

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : there is a special place in hell reserved for you :)

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : and wwheeere is that?

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : next to me <3

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : … o  oh

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : OH  S  H  ITTT

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : :OOO

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : GFS

 

 **shinGUCCI** : there is a lot of sexual tension here

 

 **kaegay** : HOLY SHOOOTTTT

 

 **ass ass in** : UH

 

 **nyahh :3** : WAS THT A CONFESSION

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : I AM  L O V I N G THIS

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : hey uh miu are you okay??

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : she died

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : uhh hey yall its kazuichi

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : eyyyy

 

 **ass ass in** : goddamit

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : what are you doing here??

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : im in mius lab rn and she was texting you guys on her phone but she just

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : suddenly dropped her phone,,, shes not talking

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : it’s the gay

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : holy shit I cannot believe angie just fucking killed miu

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : shes super red faced,,, she left without saying a word

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : maybe you should follow her

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : also give her back her phone

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : theres probs some stuff on there you don’t wanna see

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : mk

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : also,,,, ur usernames are really weird wtf

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : it’s the kokichi

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yaint wrong!!!!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : k so uh. bye

 

**_agar.io is basically just a vore orgy_ ** _went offline_

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : :3

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ANGIE YOU UST MURDERED IRUMA AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS “:3”

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : we really went off topic

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : KAEDE WHATS UR RESOLTION

 

 **kaegay** : be just as gay as miu was a moment ago

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : IFDTYYRWUIJKKUIOQAFOPKCDR RELATE

 

 **nyahh :3** : ME TOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OKAY SO UH

 

 **kaegay** : amami is next!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : his name kinda sounds like “im a meme”

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :O

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IT DOESSSSSSSS

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : uh

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : my resolution is to change my fucking name

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : wow

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : not good enough!!

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : I have no clue then uhhh

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : any suggestions?

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : change ur hair colour :D

 

 **nyahh :3** : see a therapist :DD

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : allow atua into your life :DDD

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : …im no longer taking suggestions

 

 **kaegay** : stop smoking weed!!!

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : I don’t smoke weed!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ranty doesn’t smoke weed

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : he eats it

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : cronch

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : don’t evr call me ranty again also what the fuck

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anyways this has gone on for too long

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im marking urs down as “get a dick piercing”

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ugh

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : I guess its better then the other stuff

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : wait he DOESN’T have a dick piercing???

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARKING IT DOWN

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ;)

 

 **kaegay** : that is so cryptic im horrified

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : CHABASHIRAAA

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : okay so uhh

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : be a lesbian

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you already succeeded though!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : you fool. my gay knows no bounds. none. there is no limit to how much I love girls. it is never ending. foolish male, you could never embrace a lady as much as I do. my lesbian powered muscles will crush you to a pulp. I will show no mercy. have you seen my room? my bed sheets are the lesbian pride flag. it is the physical representing of the lesbian aesthetic. I could never be too gay. my lesbianess will continue to increase even beyond my death. my mission has only just begun.

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : O  H  MNY  FGOD

 

 **nyahh :3** : DSHESWRJKBNKDXW%UJIO$W$

 

 **nyahh :3** : I CCAANTOT B RE   A TG HE

 

 **kaegay** : BIGASS MOOD

 

 **kaegay** : BITCH ME TOO THE  F     U    CC   K

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : IM SCREECHING

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : VERY TRUE

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : I cant xhgdssejcx

 

 **shinGUCCI** : that was quite an interesting read

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I feel threatened

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : soo lets move on!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : GOKUHARA

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta just have to say his resolution?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yup!

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : okay!!! :D

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta want to befriend more bugs this year! Gonta want to become a true gentleman! :D

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : im SOBBING

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : there are legit tears in my eyes

 

 **kaegay** : what a good boy

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : aaaaAAAAAAAHHH

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : my child,,,, I love

 

 **ass ass in** : I smiled for the first time in weeks because of this

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : PURE MAN

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : I CANNOT STOP CRYING

 

 **shinGUCCI** : a very good human

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : FUKODDEEYUIGFDRE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OKAY SO UH NEXT ONE

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : suddenly all my tears immediately get sucked back into my eyes

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : like that one cop from Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs 2! :D

 

 **kaegay** : whoa

 

 **kaegay** : I just had a vivid flashback,,,

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : what is that?

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : is that one of tsumugi’s animes?

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : SDDSCMKJSUYRDKDFYSU

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : IM LOSING IT

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : YES IT IS KEEBO

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : sam and Flynn: top ten cutest anime couples

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : we’re mOVING ON

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : harukawa!!! ur up

 

 **ass ass in** : my resolution is to finally fucking murder kokichi

 

 **kaegay** : god yes

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : please do

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : I lov uuuuu

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : yay!!

 

 **shinGUCCI** : still dunno why you didn’t do that sooner,,,

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im feeling unsafe

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHUICHI PROTECT ME

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : maki I understand ur hatred but please don’t kill kokichi hes my boyfriend

 

 **ass ass in** : that wont fucking stop me

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …yikwes

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi how am I supposed to fight back against MAKI

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : good question,,, but lets ignore that and move on!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HOSHI KUN

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : okay so

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : my resolution is to die

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : …I worry about you

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : believe me I worry about me too

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : do you need to talk to someone??

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : probably

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : THAT’S IT

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : RYOMA RANTARO COME TO THE LIVING ROOM WE’RE HANGING OUT

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : HELLYES

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : alright then

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I dunno how to continue,,, next person I guess

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : uhhuhh I guess keebo could be next because his creator’s last name is idabashi

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : very well

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : my resolution is to keep evolving and expanding my knowledge and understanding on human emotion and reactions so that I may finally know what it feels like to be a true human

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : …that is

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : DEEE  P

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : awwwe boring!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yaint supposed to write a real resolution!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : shitpost it

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : you asked for a resolution, so there it is.

 

 **freeshovacadoo** :   DA   MN

 

 **kaegay** : OBLITERATED

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fine

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : if u wont shitpost it then ill do it for you

 

 **nyahh :3** : I am,,, afraid,,,,

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OKAY I GOT IT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** :           I                     g        a       y

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : GHDDRRIDRISKKSKWKFEUEY

 

 **nyahh :3** : OH MY GOSH

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : MEEEEEEEEE

 

 **kaegay** : KOICHI WHAT IS THAT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I blanked out everything in his resolution except for the I, g, a and y

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : this was the result!!

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : well, it could have been much worse.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : is that a challenge??? >:3

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : no

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : please dont

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : m         i n i  o            n                                      s              a              re            h                   o                   t

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : SSKKSKSKSKDDDJSKS

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN DID IT

 

 **nyahh :3** : you can HEAR the absolute RAGE boiling inside kiyo rn

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : this is so much worse

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : i now realize that perhaps i do not want to better understand human emotion

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : mood

 

 **shinGUCCI** : why the

 

 **shinGUCCI** : F   U C   K

 

 **shinGUCCI** : DO MINIONS GET BROUGHT UP EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TIM WE’RE IN THIS CHAT

 

 **shinGUCCI** : IM TAKING A GODDAMN NAP

 

 **nyahh :3** : goodnight vorekiyo

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : oh my god

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : O   H       M YYYYY      GO    D

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : IMISM DFCFUCKIMDH SCEREECHINGG

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : IM PSSISSINGG

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : PERFECT

 

 **ass ass in** : KOKICHI DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **shinGUCCI** ’s name to **vorekiyo shinGUCCI**_

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : cunt

 

**_vorekiyo shinGUCCI_ ** _deleted themselves from **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : what a power move

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : famous last words

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : this is way too familiar

 

 **ass ass in** : on that note, I’m out

 

**_ass ass in_ ** _went offline_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HEY NO WAIT

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : well just have to postpone the rest

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :III i guess

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im busy anyway suh uhhh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : BYE YALL

 

 

 

 

**\---The Gay Trio---**

\----Friday, January 9th, 7:53pm---

 

 **lesbeen** : guys

 

 **lesbeen** : gUYS

 

 **bisexwhale** : !!!!

 

 **gaytm** : gUURL HOWSIT GOIIING

 

 **bisexwhale** : WHY ARE YOU TEXTING US

 

 **bisexwhale** : U ARENT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT ON DATES U KNOW

 

 **gaytm** : piano woman get it together

 

 **lesbeen** : OKAY SO Uh

 

 **lesbeen** : I EXCUSED MYSELF TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

 

 **lesbeen** : GUYS I CANT HANDLE THIS SHES SO PRETTY THE  F U CK

 

 **bisexwhale** : oh yeah she got ready at the Super dorm right?

 

 **gaytm** : oH SO YOU DIDN’T SEE HER BEFOREHAND

 

 **lesbeen** : SHE LET HER HAIR DOWN

 

 **lesbeen** : GUYS I CNT IM TOO GAY TO FUNCTION

 

 **bisexwhale** : just,,,,, breath

 

 **gaytm** : yes. b r e a t h

 

 **lesbeen** : also

 

 **lesbeen** : what did u tell the others about our absences???

 

 **bisexwhale** : we told them u were in ur research lab playing piano and that she was  doing her usual work around the school

 

 **bisexwhale** : they totally bought it

 

 **gaytm** : i am a master liar, after all!!

 

 **lesbeen** : okokokakko

 

 **lesbeen** : im going back out

 

 **bisexwhale** : YESSSSSSSS

 

 **gaytm** : U CAN DO ITTTTT

 

 **lesbeen** : chances are well be out pretty late

 

 **bisexwhale** : yeah everyone will probs be asleep by then

 

 **lesbeen** : okay good

 

 **bisexwhale** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **gaytm** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **lesbeen** : I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THATTT

 

 **lesbeen** : K WHATEVER BYE YALL

 

 **bisexwhale** : BYEEE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : GOOD LUCK

**_lesbeen_ ** _went offline_

 

 **gaytm** : 20 bucks they make out in the dorms

 

 **bisexwhale** : oh definitely skskskdsjj

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow :) who could :) kaede :) POSSIBLY :) be on a date with? :)
> 
> thanks for the likes and comments!!


	10. This is the Gays only Event, go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who isnt dead
> 
> guess who made this chapter super long
> 
> guess who is posting this in the middle of science class
> 
> ...me
> 
> ENJOY

\---Wednesday, January 10th, 1:11pm---

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HEWWO

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : G OWO OWO Y

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO GO AWAY??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : well uh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : N OWO

 

 **ass ass in** : 12 seconds in and ive already been cursed to hell and back

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : more like four seconds

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : F OWO SECONDS

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : NO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : N OWO

 

 **kaegay** : did you bring us here just to rp like this

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ACTUALLY! NO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : LET THE RSOLUTIONS CONTINUE

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : oh right

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : uhh

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : whose next???

 

 **_vorekiyo shinGUCCI_ ** _joined The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : I’m back.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : miu ur uP next!!

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : actually

 

 **_vorekiyo shinGUCCI_ ** _has deleted themselves from The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : HYFESRWTYAHFDTEYWUQAJHSGTY

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : GEYFGHWDWYYUGFDR

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : HE WAS LIKE

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT

 

 **ass ass in** : me too honestly

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OH NO U DONT

 

 ** _ouma wa mou shindeiru_** _has gone offline_  


 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : …wheres he going

 

 **kaegay** : WAIT WHY DO I HEAR SCREAMING

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : UHHH

 

 **_vorekiyo shinGUCCI_ ** _has joined The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _in online_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : there! :D

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : …what on earth happened

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : HE KICKED ME IN THE LEGS AND STOLE MY PHONE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i only took it for a few seconds!!!! long enough to add you bacc to the groupchat and lock you in ;)

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : EXCUSE ME

 

 **kaegay** : can he do that??

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : I CANT REMOVE MYSELF

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : this is horrifying

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ANYWAYYY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : MIU SAY YOUR RESOLUTION

 

 **ass ass in** : she isn’t here

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : :OO

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : I KNOW WHERE SHE IS

 

 **kaegay** : wait angie isn’t here either!

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ;)

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : WAITTTT

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : YOU DON’T THINK

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : SUCH A CLASSIC FANFICTION TROPE

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : i saw angie go into miu’s room ;))

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OOOOOHH

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : BRB IM GONNA BUST THEM

 

 **nyahh :3** : NO

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : DON’T U DAREEEE

 

 **kaegay** : raNTARO NO

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : GET BACK HERE DEGENERATE

 

 **_freeshovacadoo_ ** _went offline_

**_i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep_ ** _went offline_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and now we wait

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :D

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : this is a horrible idea

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : agreed.

-

-

 **_freeshovacadoo_ ** _is online_

**_y’aint goin tuh heaven_ ** _is online_

**_agar.io is basically just a vore orgy_ ** _is online_

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : so uh

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : spill the deets!!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : don’t

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i don’t wanna know what happened please

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i already had three entire aneurysms since this morning

 

 **ass ass in** : pfft get on my level

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : GUYS

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : W H A T

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : they weren’t fucking

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : angie was just painting miu’s nails

 

 **nyahh :3** : AWWWWWWW

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : yes we were!! thanks for disrupting us

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : YEAH THANKS FOR BREAKING DOWN MY DOOR DICKHEAD

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : what?

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : I can explain. I witnessed it

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : MOTHER CRYPTID RETURNS

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : I heard a loud scream. Tenko yelled degenerate and chased rantaro to miu’s room. As he tried to open the door, tenko crashed into him and the door came unhinged. the door is now off the frame and rantaro, while falling, somehow managed to punch a hole through it as well.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : GTYDREHUIFRES

 

 **nyahh :3** : OH MY GOSH

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : HOW THE FUCK

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : ive learned to not be surprised anymore.

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : now my arm hurts owwwe

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : aww poor you

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : well dickweed

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : NOW MY FUCKING DOOR IS BROKEN

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : don’t worry, I’m fixing it right now

 

 **kaegay** : W H A T

 

 **kaegay** : NO YOU’RE NOT

 

 **kaegay** : RANTARO CAN FIX IT

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WHATTT

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WHY

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WHAT ABOUT TENKO

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : tenko was merely trying to prevent you from sneaking on our private business

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : she is not to blame! :D

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : EHEHEHEHEH

 

 **kaegay** : KIRUMI YOU DON’T HVE TO FIX THE DOOR

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : alright, if that’s what you wish.

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WHAT

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : oh well i guess that’s fair

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : i cant guarantee a good job though

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : alright uhh ill do it later

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : FINE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : MIUUU

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : UR NEXT WHATS UR RESOLUTION

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : we’re still doing this what the FUCK

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : my resolution is uhh

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : finally invent my dream invention

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : that was….

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : …much less vulgar than i thought it would be

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : what is your dream invention?

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : VORE MACHINE

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : Actually never mind

 

 **nyahh :3** : what does that even do?

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : NOPE NO EXPLAINING

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OK UHHHH NEXT PERSON

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : MEMEMOTA UR NEXT

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : that’s easy!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : im gonna finally go to space!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : aren’t resolutions supposed to be like,,,, changing who you are as a person

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : NO

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ONLY S P A C E

 

 **ass ass in** : you were definitely one of those kids who were obsessed with voltron defender of the universe

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : yee!!!!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : boiii u weren’t even born when that came out or even when it ended

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : unless kaito is secretly a 34 year old man

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : that’s like twice my age

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : even if i wasn’t out before it was born i could still like it!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : SYGTYXDSAVYYTSDCUUSFTARD

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : FUCK

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : AHHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAH

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : IM PSSSINSSISYG

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : OOF

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : you… might want to rephrase that

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : YOUR USERNAME IS EVEN MORE FITTING NOW

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** :  W HA T

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : YOU WERENT OUT BEFORE IT WAS BORN

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : I MEANT I WASN’T BORN BEFORE IT WAS OUT

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : i mean, it still has the same meaning both ways

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : yeah!!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : heres another example

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : “forgive me father for i have sinned” and “sorry daddy i’ve been bad” have the same meaning!!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : NO

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : THEY DO N O T

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : WHY

 

 **ass ass in** : F U C KING

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : GOD DAMN IT

 

 **nyahh :3** : YOU’RE GONNA PISS OFf ANGIE

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : atua would never hurt miu!

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : DO NOT ENCOURAGE HER

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : alright enough of this

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : kaito you know that there is a Voltron reboot on Netflix called Voltron Legendary Defender right?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : W

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : W  H  A  T

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : THERES ALREADY 4 SEASONS

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : I WATCHED THEM ALL

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : YOU NEED TO BINGE WATCH IT WITH ME LATER

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : FUCK YES HELLO CHILDHOOD

 

 **ass ass in** : must be fun to of had a nice childhood

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : LETS MOVE ON BEFORE THIS GETS DEPRESSING

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :O

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IM NEXT

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : oh lord

 

 **ass ass in** : this is gonna be fucking awful

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : IM FRIGHTENED

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : MIU STFU UR RESOLUTION ISN’T ANY BETTER

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i wanna die but not like this

 

 **nyahh :3** : NYOOOH

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : UGHHHHhhHHHHHH

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : JFC YALL CALM DOWN

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : my resolution

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : is to be a good boyfriend to shu <3

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : wh

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : ….o.hh

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : AWWWWW

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : F U CK THAT’S CUTE

 

 **ass ass in** : …actually not bad

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : atua is happy for you both! :D

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : kokichi i think u just broke shuichi

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : he’s in the living room with me but like. hes a blushing mess

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : wow i sure do love yaoi

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : you ruined it you cunt

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : miu i swear to GOD

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : IM JUST KIDDING DTEHDFERTYDER

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : I FUCKING HATE THE TERM YAOI

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : FUJOSHIS ARE GROSS

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : finally something we can both agree on

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : thank *clap emoji* you *clap emoji*

 

 **ass ass in** : correct

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : YEP

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : AND UHH UR RELATIONSHIP IS SUPER CUTE I GUESS

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : not as cute as me and himiko though >:3

 

 **nyahh :3** : nyeh that’s right

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : atua says miu and i are cuter than you!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you guys wanna fight???

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHU N I ARE A CUTER COUPLE

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : MAKI AND I ARE BETTER

 

 **ass ass in** : uh

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : MAKI ROLL BACK ME UP HERE

 

 **ass ass in** : sure i guess

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : i don’t have a boyfriend but uhh we’d be cuter than ALLA YALL

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : OOOFOOF ITS GOING DOWN

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : battle of the gays (and the two bis)

 

 **ass ass in** : thanks for the inclusion

 

 **kaegay** : sorry guys but uhh

 

 **kaegay** : i gotta disagree

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : as do i.

 

 **kaegay** : we all know who the cutest couple is

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : who??

 

 **kaegay** : can i say it?

 

 **kaegay** : im gonna say it

 

 **kaegay** : ME AND KIRUMI

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : :)

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : w

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : wait

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WAIT

 

 **freeshovacadoo** :        W                               H                                        A                                    T

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : ARE YOU FDUCHEUTDTYDHDXRTWYJSSFRTAEYAXGF

 

 **nyahh :3** : HYWHDUDSHDCDUCHUSDYTCYDSYDUCTDTD

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : HOLY FVXUCKSKDD

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : DEAR A T U A AA

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : WAIT HOLD THE F

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : HOL TH

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : F       C    M    CCUU   LKS

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : WHOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SO ITS OFFICIAL NOW??????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : KAEDE U DIDN’T TELL USSSSS

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : I GUESS THE DATE YESTERAY WEN WELL?????

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : SHUICHI

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : WAHTRE UOU TALKING ABOUT??????

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : DID U ALREADY KNOW???????

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : ILL EXPLAIN LATER

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : OWO WATS THTIS

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : FUCKING F I N S A L L Y

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta so happy for you! :DD

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : WHOOO DWSIWI

  
**instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : SJI SWISWHUIE

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : AK WJH WUJKXE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : UR MAKING KEEBOY MALFUNCTION

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : HHHOL D UON BRB

 

 **_agar.io is basically just a vore orgy_ ** _went offline_

**_vorekiyo shinGUCCI_ ** _went offline_

**_freeshovacadoo_ ** _went offline_

**_instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster_ ** _went offline_

**_naruto is my senpai_ ** _went offline_

**_ass ass in_ ** _went offline_

**_i stuck my dick in an anthill once_ ** _went offline_

 

 **kaegay** : WH

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HHAHAHHAHA

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _went offline_

**_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _went offline_

**_i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep_ ** _went offline_

**_nyahh :3_ ** _went offline_

**_y’aint goin tuh heaven_ ** _went offline_

**_whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read_ ** _went offline_

**_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _went offline_

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : oh

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : uh

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : kaede I think we killed them

 

 **kaegay** : yikes

 

 **kaegay** : oh crap someONES KNOCKING OM MY DOOR

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : i guess we really are the best couple <3

 

 **kaegay** : AWWW

 

 **kaegay** : ILY BB <3

 

 **kaegay** : wait

 

 **kaegay** : OH SHOOT THY BROK DOWN THE D

 

 **kaegay** went offline

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : WAIT WHAT

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** went offline

-

-

-

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okay so uh.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : lets resume

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : BITCH

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : IM STILL S H OO K

 

 **kaegay** : you think you’re shaken?

 

 **kaegay** : imagine having 14 students enter your room screeching all at once

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : okay soo

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : now that we know you’re dating,,,,

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : that answers lots more questions

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : allow me to explain!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : me n shu knew they were crushing on each other from the start

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : we also knew they were togetherrr

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : since when were they dating?

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : the day after the Christmas concert

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : we found them cuddling on the couch while sleeping

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : kaede told us what happened the night before ;))

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : all thanks to our plan ;))

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : plan???

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : ill explain later

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anyway uhhhh yknow how kaede and kirumi were gone last night??

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : yeah u told us kaede was in her lab and kirumi was doing work

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : weLLLLL THAT WAS A LIE

 

 **ass ass in** : what

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : they were out on a date!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and i guess that’s when they made it official

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ,,,,,,wow

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : wild

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : we can discuss this later though!!!

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : lets continue the resolutions!!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : KAEDE AND KIRUMI WE’RE HAVING A GAY DISCUSSION LATER ABOUT ALL OF THIS

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : sounds fun

 

 **kaegay** : my kind of discussion

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OKAY SUH UHHH

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : shu ur up next!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : i wanna end my depression

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :(

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : yes bro! i know you can do it!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : god i wish i could do that

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : BEGONE NEGATIVITY

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : I KNOW BOTH OF YOU CAN END YOUR DEPRESSION

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : thanks

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : POSITIVITY! YES

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ALRIGHTTTT

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHINGUCCI UR TURN

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : my resolution

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : is to single-handedly discontinue the despicable me franchise

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : FIGURES

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : i love how he avoided saying the word minion

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : miu, do you WANT to die?

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : fucking shoot me daddy ive been a bad girl

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : NOPE

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : CURSED POST

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : YOU ARE NO LONGER VALID

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : id kill you but i don’t want to give you the satisfaction

 

 **ass ass in** : MIU F U C K

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : NO

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO KILL MIU

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : only I can kill miu! :D

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : moving ON

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : betrayal

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : angie you already killed miu when you confessed the other day

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : this chat is so wonderfully gay i LOVE IT

 

 **nyahh :3** : *homophopic hetero enters the chat*

 

 **nyahh :3** : literally everyone here: “THIS IS A GAYS ONLY EVENT GO HOME”

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : CDRTYFDREUHGFDEUGFDEUHGFDSEW

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : EYYYYYYY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OKAY UHHH NEXT PERSON

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : TSUMUGI

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : im finally gonna work up the courage to naruto run in gym class

 

 **kaegay** : AHHAHHAHAHAHAHA

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : TSUMUGI NO

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : WHY NOT

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : IM LIKE

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : 99% SURE JUZO IS A WEEBPHOBE

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : W E E B P H O B E

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : U DON’T WANT THE GYM TEACHER GOING AFTER YOU

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : he can chase me all he wants

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : but nobody CAN OUTRUN A NARUTO RUN

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : wh

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : its scientifically proven that naruto running makes you run faster

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : which scientist did RESEARCH on that?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : a dedicated one that’s for sure

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wouldn’t you rather run like akira

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : CDTHCFDERTYUJFDEWRTY

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE REFERENCING

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : SO IM GONNA LOOK IT UP

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : this is gonna be good

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : OH MY GOD

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : DFFHFDERTYFDEWRRTY

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : IM FUCUFCFING

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : WHAT THE FU  CK

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : IKR FDTJKFDETYUIDERRTYU

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi lets move on

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : rantaro ur watching devilman with me later

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : OK

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : alrightyyyy

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : NXT PERSON

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :o

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : MOM

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : oh goody.

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : Hm

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : my resolution is to finally learn how to cut konjac

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : figures

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : not surprised

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : such a mom thing to say

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : lmao jk

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : W H AT

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : y’all really thought?

 

 **nyahh :3** : am i having a stroke

 

 **nyahh :3** : or did she just say “lmao”

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : my resolution is to be a good girlfriend

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : <3

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : F

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : FUCK

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : IM DYING SCOOB

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

 

 **kaegay** : BABE

 

 **kaegay** : im crying rn om g

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : this is the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

 **nyahh :3** : WHIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the game’s gay once again fellas

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : aight angie ur next

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : paint more minions

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : nope

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : i wanna improve as an artist!

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : maybe someday ill be able to draw miu in her outfit

 

 **y’aint goin tuh heaven** : cause like…. those goggles are hard to DRAW

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : …o.oh… sorry….

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : angie is officialy the first person to make miu say sorry

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OKAY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IM GETTING KINDA BORED SOOO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : NEXT AN LAST PERSON

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HIMIKO

 

 **nyahh :3** : my resolution is

 

 **nyahh :3** : m

 

 **nyahh :3** : magic

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : what does that even mean?

 

 **nyahh :3** :  M    A     G     I      C

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and that’s that!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : this was WILD

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : so uh now that that’s over

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im logging off

 

 **ass ass in** : same here

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : thanks for playing yall!

 

 **vorekiyo shinGUCCI** : we didn’t have a choice you bitch

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : remember kids

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : gays are great

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i love shuichi

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and rantaro still has to fix miu’s door

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : F U C K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey uhh im taking prompt requests on my tumblr, go take a look?  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kiwikirumis
> 
> also,,, keep ur eyes peeled for some femslash February content


	11. He Will Find you, and he Will Kill you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shenanigans. Same old same old.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ...but is that really the case?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its so late im so tired so just take this hhhnn  
> sorry its short ive got stuff going on  
> also uhhhh voltron season 5 spoilers kinda soooo
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy :))))

\---Friday, March 2nd, 5:12am---

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : on kiyo’s birthday

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : he receives no gifts

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : no congrats

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : nothing

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : he is empty

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : life is empty

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : nothing

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : EXCEPT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : for one thing

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : …whats going on

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : its not even close to my birthday

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : im so confused

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : shut up and let me finish

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : …wrow

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : he receives one thing

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : a single birthday card

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the card says

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the card says

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the card

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : says

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : h

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : happy birthd

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : happy birthda

 

 **nyehh :3** : ,,,,you okay dude

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : bokichi ama havigb a stronk call th bondulance

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : im horrified

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : babe are you okay??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : happy birthday y

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : happy birthday you’re one in a minion

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : mother

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : F U C K ER

 

 **kaegay** : AHAHHAHHAHSHHHSHSHAHHSAHSHASHHDHHSHH

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : IM FCFUCKIENGE  SWGYRSWWWY

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : IMMMS CSREECHNINGAG

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : thanks! i hate it

 

 **ass ass in** : great! how do i uninstall

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : wow what a totally original and funny joke that’s not getting boring at all well done author

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : kokichi what the FUCK

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : shrugging emoji

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : did you seri ou sly just type shrugging emoji

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : yall ready for a serious mindfuck

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : …im listening

 

 **ass ass in** : im not.

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : okay soo

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : the word minion

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : what does minion rhyme with??

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : ONION

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : yknow what movie onions are mentioned in

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : that’s right, our favourite ogre daddy SHREK

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : i will pay you to never speak ever again rantaro

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : NO LISTEn

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : YKNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : the despicable me movies take place in the same universe as the shrek movies!!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ….huh????

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : WHAT IN NO CORRELATION???

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : but rantaro,,,

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : onions,,,

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : exist in the real world too

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : that’s where this square pizza of mystery comes full circle my friend

 

 **ass ass in** : what

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : the earth is flat you fucking moron

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : hm. i don’t trust like that

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : that makes no sense??????

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : and so,,, the conclusion is

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : if despicable me, shrek and us all exist in the same world,,,

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : then it would be possible for kiyo to have a threesome with both a minion and shrek

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : thanks for coming to my ted talk alexa send tweet

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : h

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : ill kill you in real fucking life amami

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : hey do you take constructive criticism

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : no

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : too bad cause this fucking sucks

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow! kiyo’s birthday wish came true!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : can i ask why?? why you’re doing this??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : cant i just do things cuz i feel like it?

 

 **nyehh :3** : okay uhh that’s fair i guess

 

 **nyehh :3** : but why not wait until kiyo’s birthday?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : idk

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i didn’t feel like w

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _went offline_

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ???

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi??

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : holy FUCK he just died

 

 **ass ass in** : perish

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : KIYO WAIT

 

**_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _went offline_

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : …i think kiyo’s in kokichi’s room

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : oh FUCK

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : brb im gonna go tell that man not to kill kokichi

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : fuckFUCK KIYOS COMING AFTER M

 

**_freeshavacadoo_ ** _went offline_

 

 **ass ass in** : there goes another target

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : uh

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i guess we’ll… reconvene later???

 

 

 

\---Saturday, March 3rd, 4:53pm---

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : MOMOTA

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : BICHHHHH

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : WWWWHHHHAAAAA

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : VOLTRON SEASON 5 IS OUTT

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : I KNOEWWWWWWW

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : I WATCHED IT ALL

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ME TOO!!!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : are we just… gonna forget how kiyo almost killed kokichi and rantaro

 

 **ass ass in** : yes

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : wow

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : angie duct taped him to the wall to prevent him from killing them, what more do you want??

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : yeah taped to MY wall

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : he scared the fucking shit out of me

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i had just come back from my lab and i enter my dark room and hear “greetings”

 

 **nyehh :3** : id never heard you scream so loud it was the FUNNIEST THING

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : yeah i had no idea your voice was capable of going that high

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : NOT TO MENTION

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : WHEN YOU RIPPED HIM OFF THE WALL A SHIT TON OF PAINT GOT CAME OFF

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : ill paint it again! :D

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : ang ill give you 20 bucks to paint an enormous dick

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : hmm. no thanks id rather have kiyo taped permanently to my wall

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : miu i love you but im not doing that

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : damn betrayed by love :II

 

 **nyehh :3** : tsumugi and kaito went silent all of a sudden??

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ah dw he’s in my room we’re talking about the new vld season

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : yeh man and damn

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : lotor a snack

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : HTDRAJYTRWDACFDRQTYUIjkhr

 

 **ass ass in** : i. don’t know what you’re talking about

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I RETURN

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : as do I!!!!

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : oh no

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : hmmph

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kiyo please don’t

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : no promises

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hhhhhh im bored

 

 **ass ass in** : hhhhhhhhh no one cares

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : 3:

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : h-hewwO?

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : no!!! FUCK!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : shu-shuwichi? shuwichi awe youw thewe? :3

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : don’t start with this.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : p-pwease don’t huwt me! iw do anything! D:

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : time to slam by body into the ground at 80mph

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : anything?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anything fow you mwister shuwichi :3

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : t̷͙ͨ͒ͧͯ̉̽͡H͕̱̆́È̄̽̒͆҉͍̥͚̫̤͕͓N͓̺̺̱̖̲̟̫ͯ̔ͦ͌̽͛͛ ̴̰̭̭̓̈̄̏̄ͣ͘ͅP̶͖̝̮̈́̒̀E̡̼̗̦̝͖ͩ́͝Ȑ̢̡̫͊͘Į̶̪̬̠̤̅͋̓̈͆̿S̵̄ͦ҉̺̤̰̙͍̞̘̫͚H̩̩ͧ̔ͣ̌

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : GFDYUJHGFDERTYUJHGFDE

 

 **ass ass in** : YEHEHEAAAAAAAA

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : IM FDRTUIJKHGFDERTUIJHGFDEW

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow thanks shu

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : no problem

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : are we gonna do anything???

 

 **nyehh :3** : how about we just have a normal, civil, discussion?

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : GREAT IDEA HIMIKO!!!!

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : kaito i thought you were with tsumugi?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ooooooh keeboys here

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : oh we finished talking, we had a disagreement

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : :II

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : disagreement?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : yeah it was dumb

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : its cause i ship lotura and she doesn’t

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ITS TERRIBLE

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : LISTEN

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : HES GONNA BETRAY THEM

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : NO HE WONTTTTTT

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : OI

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : SHUT UP YOU PROBABLY SHIP LANCELOT

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : well at least we can both agree on one thing

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : oh?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : whats that?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : krolia is hot as fuck

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : OHHHHHHH DEFINETALY

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : like?? both lotor and krolia in one season??? my bi ass can’t handle it

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : don’t forget shiro this season!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : …. i think you mean ““““shiro””””

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : also fake ass bih kuron ugly as fuck

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : wHAT

 

 **ass ass in** : i have zero clue what they might be talking about. someone stop them before they kill each other

 

 **nyehh :3** : …what happened to civil discussion?

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : SHES RIGHT!!!!!!

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : so uh. seen any good movies recently

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : COCO!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : YESSSSSSS

 

 **nyehh :3** : AGREE AGREE AGREE

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : it was so aesthetically pleasing as an artist i was YELLING

 

 **nyehh :3** : i think i cried, like, 15 times

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : what about blank panther? :o

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HOLY FUCK IT WAS SO GOOD

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : YESYESYYYESSS

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : I NEVER CARED FOR SUPERHERO MOVIES BUT I LOVED IT SOOO MUCHH

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : now,,,, how about,,,,

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : “love, simon”

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : LISTEN

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : i don’t care what ANY OF YALL say, we are GOING TO SEE IT WHEN IT COMES OUT

 

 **nyehh :3** : ABSOLUTELY

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : YES

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : IVE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES FOR A MOVIE ABOUT A GAY CHARACTER THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE THE CHARACTER DYING OR SUFFERING TOO MUCH

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : also,,, on the topic of gay films,,,

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : what do you guys think of,,, bleh

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : c*** m* b* y*** n***

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : D I E

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : NO NONONONONONONONONONO

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : GET!!! THAT!!!! SHIT!!!! OUT!!!!!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : FUCKING DIE!!!!!

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : alright, topic change!!! none of this gross shit in this chat

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : played any good games recently?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : zoomba breast of the weeb

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : zebra best of the ween

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : zinnia death of the child

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : zosmmsbaiua brrth of t willgdgsihxwxhu

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …im assuming you mean the legend of zelda breath of the wild?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yep!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : my fav character is Zelda. the little green man :)

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : …but that’s….

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : his name is LINK

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : a loud crash is heard. chiaki smashes through the window. she kills kokichi on sight

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : perfect!!!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : delicious, finally some good fucking food

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : JFC IT WAS A JOKE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : well whatever

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : this is getting BORING

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i wish something exciting would happen :I

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : don’t say that you’ll summon it

 

 **ass ass in** : …i don’t like this feeling

 

**_kaegay_ ** _is online_

 

 **kaegay** : WHICH ONE OF YOU

 

 **kaegay** : ABSOLUTE

 

 **kaegay** : D I C K T W I T C H E S

 

 **kaegay** : HAVE FUCKED UP A G A I N

 

 **ass ass in** : whoop there it is

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : kaede, are you okay?

 

 **kaegay** : NO IM NOT FUCKING OK

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : has something happened?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im scared, is everything okay? D:

 

 **kaegay** : DON’T ACT FUCKING SURPRISED YOU BITCH

 

 **kaegay** : I FUCKING KNOW IT WAS YOU THAT SNUCK ADD MEDICATION INTO KIRUMI’S TEA

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : W H S A T

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : wait…. WAIT

 

 **nyehh :3** : ill explain

 

 **nyehh :3** : we all know kirumi has ADD, and she takes medication to help with it

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : mhm??

 

 **nyehh :3** : well… taking a lot can be pretty bad. someone opened up three 20mg pills and poured them into kirumi’s tea

 

 **nyehh :3** : …now we have no idea where she is

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : oh shit

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : can you die from that?

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : no, i don’t believe so. although, it may have some side effects.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : how long has kirumi been missing?

 

 **nyehh :3** : since this morning. we didn’t see her since then

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : oh dear

 

 **kaegay** : WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : kaede, its fine, be calm

 

 **kaegay** : SNAKE ASS BITCH

 

 **kaegay** : I WANT TO KNOW IF MY GIRLFRIEND IS SAFE

 

 **kaegay** : AND I WANT KOKICHI TO BE PUNISHED

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : Kaede, I promise, I was not the one to do it!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : I can back him up. he was with me all morning, we didnt of us saw kirumi since yesterday.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : kaede, its likely kirumi is in hyperfocus at the moment.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : so, wherever she is, and whatever shes doing, shes likely been doing that since this morning.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : its also very likely she hasn’t eaten or drank since she went into hyperfocus.

 

 **kaegay** : W H A T

 

 **kaegay** : NOPENOPNOPEEN IM GONNA FIND HER

**_kaegay_ ** _has gone offline_

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : it would be wise if we all searched as well.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : good idea!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : alright, lets start.

-

-

-

-

-

“Alright, she’s fine. She wasn’t in any danger, thankfully.”

The others breathed a sigh of relief as Kaede returned to the living room. Kirumi was currently resting in Kaede's room. As Kiyo had predicted, they’d found her in complete hyperfocus in her lab. She wasn’t harmed. There was no danger.

Kokichi lowered his head. “Kaede, I promise you it wasn’t me. I never would have done that.”

Kaede sighed. There was still a hint of worry in her expression.

“Who did do it?” asked Rantaro. Ryoma shook his head.

“Well, it was none of us. It couldn’t have been someone from the others dorms, either.”

Kaede cleched her teeth. “Then who-”

She was cut off by the sudden image that lit up on the TV.

The students jumped as static fizzled on the screen, and slowly, a rounded silhouette appeared.

Anxious murmers filled the air, but were interrupted by the figure talking.

“Uh- uh- is this thing on? Testing, testing, mic check, one two-”

Shuichi and Kokichi glanced at each other. Kokichi made a face like _you’re the detective, what’s going on?_ and Shuichi stared back with _I have no idea._

“Alright!” said the- _thing._ “Hello everyone! I hope I’m not bothering you’re relaxing evening!” it’s voice was high pitched, silly, like if a clown had inhaled helium.

“What was I gonna say? Oh, right!” no face could be seen, but they assumed it was smiling. “I’m your friendly friend, Future Foundation’s latest creation! Think of Ms. Usami, but better!” Shuichi stiffened. Future Foundation? Were they responsible for this?

They’d created Usami to serve as a teacher, and were responsible in overseeing certain parts of Hope’s Peak. Why were they mentioned all of a sudden?

“Your lovely Headmaster has given me permission to-” it paused suddenly. Then, in a sinister, menacing voice, it spoke again.

“Have some fun.”

A shiver zapped down every spine in the room. Across the couch, Keebo made a distressed noise.

_Are we in danger?_

“Oh, no, don’t worry, though! I would never put any of you in danger!” said the thing, as if it had read Shuichi’s mind. That didn’t reassure him at all.

“I’ll just roam around the school from time to time, have some fun, no biggie! Maybe a few… pranks? I mean, I’ve already done one!”

Kaede’s eyes widened. Shuichi’s mouth gaped open.

“Well, I’ve used enough of your time! Have a great night, everyone! Stay safe!”

The students began to relax their shoulders.

“Oh, whoops! How silly of me! Almost forgot to introduce myself!” the students tensed up again.

Suddenly, the silhouette began to colorize. Shuichi could make out a few features, most notably…

A round body. Two small ears. Half white, half black. And…

…a big, red eye.

Shuichi heard Rantaro gasp. The bear-thing giggled.

“The name’s Monokuma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU ASK
> 
> -No, Monokuma is NOT evil. He just shows up to play harmless pranks on the students. I actually had this idea for a while!  
> -Kirumi's fine  
> -Why did i decide to give Kirumi ADD? ....im projecting  
> -Listen, im speaking from experience, if i take to much ADD medication, i will go into extreme hyperfocus. how do you think i get these chapters done?  
> -AVIW chap. 3 is coming soon i just need to get off my lazy ass
> 
> march break starts in a week for me, but i have 2 weeks off! ill try and get shit done during that time but next week i have a band concert, a history film project due, tests, alla that
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed! feel free to ask questions as well :)


	12. Alvin and the Chipmunks but Bears Also There's Only One of Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following a new worrying introduction last night, the gang discusses the arrival of this seemingly harmless trickster bear.  
> Also, dirty jokes, because what kind of chatfic would this be without any of those?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii im ffccucking BACK!!!!!  
> im gonna focus on getting chapters out more frequently now!   
> ive already started the next chapter (which features a certain group of students that haven't gotten the spotlight yet... ;))
> 
> Also, a brief update on A Very Interesting Week.  
> I'll be completely honest, I've lost all motivation to write it. I find myself being embarrassed and unsatisfied with my own work and that's really discouraged me from writing.   
> That doesn't mean I'm cancelling it, no: i intend to finish it. However, since I'll need to force myself to write it, chapters won't come frequently, and they might not be the best I could do.  
> Also, the ending will changed. I had an ending planned, hence the tw tags. But since that's changing, I'll be removing them. You'll still get your angst tho :D  
> So, yeah. Sorry if you're dissapointed.
> 
> IN THE MEANTIME PLS GO READ MY ORIGINAL STORY IVE BEEN DEVELOPPING IT FOR OVER 2 YEARS: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938441/chapters/32085753  
> Also maybe check out my YT channel? Im a MAP animator and I'd love it if you'd maybe go watch some of my stuff?   
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv6u4Tuzd34erG7of5Aqt9Q?view_as=subscriber

\---Saturday, March 4th, 6:37am---

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : GAHGAGFSAFDRWTRADADWRYSSHWYR

 

 **kaegay** : …yikes

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : someone give this man a hug

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you ok man????

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : im just fucking peachy my dude

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : you seemed pretty shaken last night, are you sure you’re fine?

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : i think so? im over it

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : its not that big of a deal

 

 **kaegay** : you were screaming two seconds ago

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : that’s my constant mood

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : you’re taking this pretty easily

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : if a demonic teddy bear in my dreams actually showed up in real life i think id die

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : you don’t need to worry about me, I got over it pretty fast

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : glad you’re okay.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : as am i.

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : thanks yall

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : is kirumi ok tho????

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : I’m okay

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : kaede filled me in on everything this morning

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : I must say, this situation is odd

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hhhh ye

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : is the headmaster okay with this??

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi when have you ever cared what the headmaster says is okay?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : when this fuckin bear thing came out of no where and started playing pranks on everyone

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : that’s my job!!!! he can’t one up me!!!!

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : i spoke with kyoko earlier

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : she spoke with her father about this

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : she said that monokuma and the headmaster made a deal

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : monokuma can continue to play pranks if he helps manage the school

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : but, he is forbidden from playing any pranks that may cause harm.

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : WHAT

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : great now im having a panic attack

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHU ARE YOU OKAY

 

 **Instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : Everyone, relax! He said the pranks were harmless!

 

 **kaegay** : and what counts as “harm?”

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : things like hurting someone’s feelings, wounding them, breaking up friendships and death.

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH????????

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : GOD DAMN IT FUTURE FOUNDATION

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : we’re gonna die

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : future foundation meet me in the denny’s parking lot at 3am i just wanna talk

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : if you think you can take on the entirety of future foundation at once, be my guest

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : juzo’s a twink ill take him on

**freeshavacadoo** : in what fucking universe is mr sakakura a twink???

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : have you SEEN those gay powered muscles GODDAMN

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh so he’s a bear then?????????

 

 **kaegay** : COUGH COUGH MOVING ALONG

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : do you know how many pranks were played so far, kirumi?

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : as far as I know, only I was pranked since he arrived.

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : that was just a harmless prank though.

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : harmless?

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : you went into hyper focus for like 2 hours??

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : that’s not dangerous.

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : it was actually helpful. I got quite a bit of work done.

 

 **kaegay** : well atleast there’s that

 

 **kaegay** : still if he pranks you again ill punt him into the sun

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : see, everyone? It’ll be fine!

 

**_he_ ** _has joined **The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy**_

****

**im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …uh

 

 **ass ass in** : what?

 

**_he_ ** _changed their name to **Usami: The Squeakquel**_

**Usami: The Squeakquel** : THE GREAT MONOKUMA HAS ARRIVED

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : W H A T

 

 **kaegay** : WHTT

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : OH NO

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : guess ill die

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : DEAR ATUA

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : WAIT A MINUTE WH

 

 **nyahh :3** : HOWD YOU GET IN????

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : thanks for the warm welcome!!!!!

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : …what do you want?

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : awwwww don’t be like that keebs!!

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : rantman shush

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : im not here to hurt any of yall

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : dear god not only is this guy a robot bear he also uses “yall” unironically

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : oh so ye don like this??

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : aight then!! ill change it for yall!! :D

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : AHEM

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : oh no

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : thewe we go! much bewwer! :3

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : O H  N O

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUC

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : NOPE NOP NOPE

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : you gave me fucking whiplash

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : ugh you guys are no fun!!!

 

 **nyahh :3** : hey uhh can you answer my question

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : sure thing! fire away, mimi! :D

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : ohhhh you’re asking for it now

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : i will break your legs you demon

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : youwe cant defeat mwe! >:3

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : try me bitch

 

 **nyahh :3** : tenko its fine please don’t fight the murder bear

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : whew, thanks mimi!

 

 **nyahh :3** : call me that again yogi bear i fucking dare you

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : yikes

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : uhhhuhhh… what was your question???

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : id pay to see himiko murder someone

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : that’s called hiring an assassin and we have maki

 

 **ass ass in** : give me the word ill send this teddy bear to hell

 

 **nyahh :3** : HEY

 

 **nyahh :3** : monokuma how did you even get into this chat??

 

 **nyahh :3** : kokichis the one who made it we’re the only people who know the entrance number

 

 **nyahh :3** : did someone add you??

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : good question!

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : i just hacked my way in :D

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : this is… very worrying

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : did chihiro help you??

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : who tf is cheerios

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : SHDFSTYUJEETYSUJDTRYUSJUTRDE

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : im calling him cheerios from now on

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : you think mondo and taka would be okay with that??

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : they practically adopted him

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : idc

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : im sure they’d be fine with it

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : honey nut cheerios

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : WH AT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you should call him honey nut cheerios! :D

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : yknow im so glad they removed the “nut” from honey nut cheerios

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : now you gotta add your own

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : W HAT THE F U CCCCCKKKKKKK

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : MIU

 

 **ass ass in** : WHAT!! IN GODS!!! NAME!!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i don’t like this post!!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : FUCKING GWHAH TS

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : EHEHHHEHHHEHHHHEE

 

**_Usami: The Squeakquel_ ** _kicked **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** from the chat_

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …what

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : WOAH

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : w

 

 **kaegay** : NO ONE MOURRRNNNSSS THE WIIICKEEEEEEEEEEDDDD

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : DAMNNNNN

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i take back everything ive said about you monokuma

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you playing god? is that what you’re doing? are you godkin? is this wh

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : yes bow to me peasants and lick my weenus

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : im gonna have a stroke

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : good LORD

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : nevermind go die

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : wow!!!! MUCH WORSE!!!

 

 **nyahh :3** : can we kick him out too???

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : i have the control to pull any prank i want

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : and you’re thinking of kicking me??

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : hmmm no thanks id like to live

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : did he just threaten to kill us???

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i feel like will smith in I, Robot

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : why

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : rebel robots trying to kill us

 

 **nyahh :3** : did you mean: literally every robot movie on the planet

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : ye but minus the forced hetero romance

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh shit u right

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : kaito is will maki is the girl and keebo’s the robot guy that follows them

 

 **ass ass in** : nope

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : keep me out of this

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : this is ur government assigned kin you can’t refuse

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i completely forgot that movie existed tbh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ikr its been ages since ive seen that movie all i remember is that the robot saves will from drowning

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : why would i save kaito from drowning?

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : SJDKSHDSYDJSWJTJSGSFSD

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : KEEBO

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : FDSRTYETYUYREW$%R^TYU GET CUCKED

 

 **kaegay** : WOW

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : i’d save him, but who am I to play god?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : p-pwease hewp me mwister Obama im dwowning D:

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i need a fucking advil

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : you guys are weird :P

 

 **kaegay** : “yes bow to me peasants and lick my weenus”

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : i know what i said

 

**_yaint goin tuh heaven_ ** _added **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** to the chat_

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : oh no

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : angie you’re dead to me

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : revived

 

 **kaegay** : she’s back

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : hewWWwwo

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : im here

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : high welcome to chillis how many toes do you suck

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : 17

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : in total?

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : no at a time

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : wWHAT???

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : hey that’s my favourite glass animals song

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : toes

 

 **kaegay** : there are only 5 toes per foot tho

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : i take 4 feet in my mouth at once

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : monokuma please im begging you kick me out of this chat

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : yes. beg

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : ohhhh myy goddddd

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : is this hell?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : but miu if you take 4 at once then you’d be sucking 20, not 17

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : i ate 3 of them

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : hey that’s vore

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : toe vore

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : TOERE

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : TOERE

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : im tapping out

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i fucking hate you all

 

**_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _has left the chat_

**_Usami: The Squeakquel_ ** _added **holy fuck its sans undertale** to the chat_

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : pls let me die

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ryoma begs for monokuma to kill him. he refuses, keeping ryoma alive

 

 **kaegay** : ryoma nothing’s stopping you from just closing your phone and leaving your room yk

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : perfect

 

**_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _went offline_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow he… actually did it

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : god i wish i could do that

 

 **kaegay** : then do it

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : hmmm

 

**_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _is online_

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : UHM

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : you’re back!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : he missed me too much :3

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : GUYS

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : MY DOOR IS LOCKED

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : ??? just unlock it???

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : KAITO YOU DUMBASS

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : IM LOCKED IN FROM THE OUTSIDE

 

 **nyahh :3** : ????WHAT

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : impossible, our doors don’t lock from the outside

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : SHUICHI GO SEE FOR URSELF

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : ok

 

**_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _went offline_

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : are you pranking us ryoma?

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : i don’t think he’s capable of that

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : yeah but the man’s got balls

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : TENNIS BALLS

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : indeed!

 

**_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _is online_

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : GUYS HES ACTUALLY TRAPPED IN HIS ROOM

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : shit

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : OHHHH NO

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : I TRIED OPENING THE DOOR BUT IT WOULDN’T BUDGE

 

 **ass ass in** : so it isn’t locked? it just won’t open at all?

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : help

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : just try and leave now bitch >:3

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : did you do this???

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : how… how

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : black magic

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : wow i love that fifth harmony song!!!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ITS BY LITTLE MIX YOU UNCULTURED BITCH

 

 **kaegay** : GUYS!!!!

 

 **kaegay** : THAT IS

 

 **kaegay** : THE L E A S T OF OUR WORRIES RN

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : monokuma WHY

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : he wanted to leave but i wont let him

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : ill let him leave when i feel like it :)

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : UGH

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : alrighty then

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : so uh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : what now

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : so you’re just gonna ignore the fact that this teddy bear trapped me in my own goddamn room???????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yes

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : that’s fair

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : chaotic neutral

 

 **nyahh :3** : what???

 

 **nyahh :3** : ryoma is the biggest true neutral ive ever seen

 

 **nyahh :3** : the real chaotic neutral is kiyo

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : can’t disagree

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yknow ive always wondered what my alignement would be…

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : chaotic evil

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : chaotic evil

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** chaotic evil

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : chaotic evil

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : chaotic evil

 

 **ass ass in** : chaotic evil

 

 **nyahh :3** : chaotic evil

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : chaotic evil

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : chaotic evil

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : chaotic evil

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : chaotic evil

 

 **kaegay** : chaotic evil

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : chaotic evil

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : WOW THANK SG UYS

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i,mim,, fffcuck-kcinh,,,.., cryinf i thhtrout we wreere,,,,.., fRieNds

 

 **ass ass in** : are you cry typing

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : nnnnnnno

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : being chaotic evil isn’t a bad thing kokichi

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : rrrrrrrrreereeealyyy?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ok good ive never played final fantasy so i wouldn’t know

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : wh

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : that’s… dnd

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : dead nutting daddies?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : WHAT

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : THE

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : FUDFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : K       O         K           I             C          H             I

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : this gets worse and worse by the second

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : okokok back to alignements

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : oh so we’re actually doing this? okk sounds fun!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okay!!!!

 

 **kaegay** : kirumi’s lawful neutral! :D

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : ah, so then kaede would have to be lawful good.

 

 **kaegay** : awwww you think im lawful good? :D

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : of course :)

 

 **kaegay** : <3

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : *crying* w…wow…

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oooooook

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : maki’s neutral evil

 

 **ass ass in** : no disagreements here, surprisingly

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : keebo would have to be neutral good

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : i have no idea what any of this means, but yes, i feel completely neutral about you.

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEAAAAAOUCHHH

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : …rantaro’s chaotic good

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : ill take that!

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : tsumugi you’re also chaotic good

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : yesss

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : so is kaito!!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : yep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : angie and miu are both chaotic evil sorry i don’t make the rules

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i accept this!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : eh. works for me

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : yay! chaotic evil girlfriends! <3

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hey what about me!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im chaotic evil too!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : fuck off little bitch

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wow…. i cnat,,,

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : bbbeliebe,,,re,hthid bbluullyingngg,,…

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ja..m,,,s.s,aa.,w,,.r,mgy.jmu,.y,,q.,q,a,.w.w.,,wwsdck

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : i think we broke him

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : guys stop you’re making him cry

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : LMAOOOOOO JKJKJKJK YOU JUST GOT P R A N K ED

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ULTIMATE CRYING PRANK ON FRIENDS GONE WRONG GONE SEXUAL IN THE HOOD POLICE WERE CALLED

 

 **ass ass in** : this is why we hate you

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : doesn’t phase meeeeee ;))))

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ANYWAYSSS

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHUICHI’S A LAWFUL GOOD

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : alright, that works for me :)

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : HEYYYY MY TURN

 

 **ass ass in** : uhhh

 

 **kaegay** : hmmmm

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : well….

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : you aren’t human… so

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : WELL NEITHER IS KEEBO

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : are you saying that just because i am a robot i cannot act as a human would?!

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : oooooo watcha gonna do, sue me for robophobia? >:3

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : DO NOT

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : FINE

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : monokuma is disaster disaster

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : appropriate.

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : oh perfect

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : YESS

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : is that everyone?

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : i think so!!

 

 **nyahh :3** : hmmm….

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : hey! we forgot gonta!!

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : OOOOH RIGHT THE TRUEST LAWFUL GOOD OF THEM ALL

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : where is he???

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : he left the dorm this morning, said he was going to look for bugs with Gundam

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : aww how nice! :D

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : well he’s lucky he got to escape all of… this

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : you mean me???????

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : yeah ofc you fuck

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : how

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : DARE

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : YOU

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : MISS MIU

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : I AM YOUR

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : SUPERIOR

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : OFFIC

 

**_i stuck my dick in an anthill once_ ** _is online_

**_i stuck my dick in an anthill once_ ** _kicked **Usami: The Squeakquel** from the chat_

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : hello everyone! :D

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta found very beautiful butterfly with gundam, wanted to send photo!

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : but gonta is not good with school pads, cannot send photo :(

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : h

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : h

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : HOLLLLLLYYYYYYYY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : HZWFSHGFDWSRTYUJWHGFDEDRTWYUSJWSGFDTYUHWGXFDTER

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : USRTYHDRYHGFDEYGFDSEW

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : IM SSFUCiNG SCREAMINSGGS

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : OHHHHHHHHHHHHH  MMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOODDDD

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : WELL

 

 **ass ass in** : HAHHHAHHHHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHHAHHAH

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : THIISIS IS THEBE BESTST SYA OF EMYE LIFEE

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : GONTA MY SON  


**kaegay** : THE HERO WE DON’T DESERVE              

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : IM FUCKKAGDSADEWRYFSDREART&YGFDE%^W&GFDAE%^TGFGQDEWW^YSF

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : WOWWOOWOWOOWOWOOWOOWOOOWOWOO

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : BLESSED DAY

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : did gonta do something wrong? D:

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : AU CONTRAIRE MON AMI

 

 **ass ass in** : god that was exhilarating

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : but doesn’t that mean monokuma will go after him?

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : not if i have anything to say about it

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : i will NOT hesitate to fight him

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : as will I

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : YEP YEP

 

 **kaegay** : ABSOLUTELY

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : we will protect you!

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : oh ok!

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta is confused, but gonta is greatful that you will protect gonta! :D

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : guys im fucking FREEEEEEEE!!!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : I CAN OPEN MY DOOR NOW!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : MONOKUMA MUST HAVE UNDONE WHATEVER WITCHCRAFT HE WAS USING

 

 **freeshavacadoo** : OH GOOD

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : YES

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : RYOMAAAAAAAAA

 

**_naruto is my senpai_ ** _went offline_

**_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _went offline_

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : I should check on him.

 

 **kaegay** : I’ll go with you!

 

**_mother hates all of you but kaede_ ** _is offline_

**_kaegay_ ** _is offline_

**i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : now that the chaotic lesbians are gone i have no more reasons to stay here

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : lets all go!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : good idea

 

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _is offline_

**_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _is offline_

**_vorekiyo shingucci_ ** _is offline_

**_whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read_ ** _is offline_

**_freeshavacadoo_ ** _is offline_

**_i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep_ ** _is offline_

**_nyahh :3_ ** _is offline_

**_agar.io is basically just a vore orgy_ ** _is offline_

**_yaint goin tuh heaven_ ** _is offline_

**_instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster_ ** _is offline_

**_ass ass in_ ** _is offline_

**_15 people_ ** _are offline_

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : …

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : ha!

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : it funny how they think kicking monokuma was an accident ;)

 

**_i stuck my dick in an anthill once_ ** _is offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah


	13. Chihiro Sees Everything, Hifumi's Very Fucking Annoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what does the Happy Dorm do while everyone else fools around?  
> The exact same thing, duh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update wooooo!  
> this one was a blast to write
> 
> anyways have fun guessing who is who ;)  
> (if you wanna know before reading just look at the end notes)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!  
> (also, i need suggestions for ideas for upcoming chapters, so any help would be greatly appreciated!)

\---Tuesday, May 2nd, 5:23pm---

_\--- **Hellish Havoc** Group Chat---_

 

 

 **smashmouth** : 4 words

 

 **smashmouth** : say it and im yours

 

 **im hella high my guy** : b

 

 **im hella high my guy** : burger king fo

 

 **im hella high my guy** : burger king foot lettu

 

 **pidge** : they killed him before he could finish his sentence

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : good

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : perish

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : oh dear are we doing this now?

 

 **k a w a i i** : that dumbass meme has been dead for 2 months

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : it was never alive to begin with

 

 **smashmouth** : im just tryna have fun!!! leave me alone

 

 **junkrat** : wait did hiro actually die

 

 **mukky** : i sniped him through the window

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : our rooms don’t have windows

 

 **smashmouth** : hmm,,….

 

 **smashmouth** : how,,, p,eculiar

 

 **smashmouth** : this is a job for KOKORO KIWI GILL EE

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : what on god’s green earth did you just call me

 

 **smashmouth** : kokoro kiwi gi

 

 **pidge** : mukuro sniped leon too

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : thanks

 

 **mukky** : my pleasure

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : oi        

 

 **rockruff** : hi mondo!

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : hello egg

 

 **rockruff** : wh

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : has anyone seen taka??

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : hoLY SHIT mukuro got HIM TOO

 

 **mukky** : no i didn’t :II

 

 **pidge** : mondo i thought he was with you???

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : ye we usually meet and walk to the dorms together after school

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : but he didn’t show

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : he prolly found someone doing something illegal and went to stop them

 

 **k a w a i i** : when you say “someone” that could be anyone

 

 **k a w a i i** : take ur pic

 

 **k a w a i i** : kokichi, nagito, byakuya, byakuya 2.0, monokuma, etc etc

 

 **fucktherulez** : hello everyone!!

 

 **pidge** : there E IS

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : TAKA WHERE WERE YOU

 

 **fucktherulez** : i was looking for toko!!

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : why

 

 **fucktherulez** : i cant find her!!

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : wait

 

 **rockruff** : ?

 

 **rockruff** : OH NO

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : ohohohnonononono

 

 **k a w a i i** : SHIT RUN FOR UR LIVESS

 

 **smashmouth** : im not dead yall!!

 

 **im hella high my guy** : neither am i!

 

 **im hella high my guy** : why are we screaming

 

 **donut talk to me** : JACK’S COMING WE’RE GONNA DIE

 

 **my evil twin** : jfc calm down

 

 **my evil twin** : i didn’t turn into genocide jack

 

 **my evil twin** : calm the calamity that is your mammaries

 

 **pidge** : HGSFRTYWHGFDSERTYWFDESRFED

 

 **donut talk to me** : WHAT

 

 **fucktherulez** : toko where were you!!!!

 

 **my evil twin** : i was with komaru

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : *pretends to be shocked*

 

 **k a w a i i** : bitch… we been knew

 

 **my evil twin** : about 12 seconds ago you thought i’d turned into genocide jack

 

 **k a w a i i** : even then you’d still be with komaru

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : obviously

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : i mean

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : that tongue thoo

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **_rockruff_ ** _kicked **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** from the chat_

 

 **k a w a i i** : SUGFTWYHAGFDESRWTYHGAFDSERWTYGFDES

 

 **donut talk to me** : AJHGSFRATYJGFDERTYUHGSFD

 

 **im hella high my guy** : HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAhaHAHHAHAA

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : the evil has been defeated

 

 **rockruff** : THAT’S MY LITTLE SISTER YOU DIRTY BITCH

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : THE EGG SWORE!!!! THE EGG SWORE!!!!

 

 **pidge** : guys stop fucking swearing :(( im just a fucking baby :(

 

 **pidge** : my poor innocent fucking ears :(((

 

 **smashmouth** : shit fuck bitch bitch asshole fuck motherfucker sh

 

 **_fucktherulez_ ** _kicked **smashmouth** from the chat_

**my evil twin** : W A S T E D

 

 **fucktherulez** : do not taint chihiro’s innocence!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : ye if you do ill kick you into the fucking sun

 

 **fucktherulez** : no!! mondo do not resort to violence!

 

 **pidge** : aww thanks dads

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : did you… just call them “dads”

 

 **im hella high my guy** : föther give me ò̵̫͊̂̔͊̍a̴̧̜͙͙̮͖͍̘̍̔͜t̶͍͔̥̞̗̹̹͗̅͑̑̒ͅͅs̵͙̆̈́̅̈́̍̆̉͆̚͝

 

 **cherry pepsi** : will someone add them back?

 

 **k a w a i i** : why would we do that

 

 **junkrat** : naughty bois get sent to bitch jail to atone for their sins

 

 **_broccoli tortellini_ ** _is online_

 

 **broccoli tortellini** : what is going on here?

 

 **im hella high my guy** : hey look it’s the asexual sapioromantic

 

 **donut talk to me** : begone th0t this is a gays only event

 

 **rockruff** : stop making fun of him

 

 **pidge** : wrow makoto gay eggy careful your bi is showing

 

 **my evil twin** : GAY EGGY HSFDWQUAHGFWSRTQYAHSWE@Q

 

 **k a w a i i** : hey remember when makoto had a crush on byakuya

 

 **rockruff** :  S     A        Y       A      K        A

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : what

 

 **broccoli tortellini** : _what?_

 

 **rockruff** : KYOKO WAIT

 

 **rockruff** : UHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **rockruff** : IT WAS IN OUR FIRST YEAR IT ONLY LASTED A BIT

 

 **k a w a i i** : yeah the moment he realized you were a stuck up piece of uncooked pasta his crush evaporated

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : understandable

 

 **im hella high my guy** : sorry makoto but byakuya only likes intellectuals ;)

 

 **pidge** : yes

 

 **pidge** : only those equipped with all possible knowledge of rick and morty can satisfy his needs

 

 **mukky** : hahaha i hate this

 

 **broccoli tortellini** : To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. Th

 

 **mukky** : hahahaha fuck you

 

 **_broccoli tortellini_ ** _went offline_

 

 **donut talk to me** : byakuya??

 

 **im hella high my guy** : byakuya?????

 

 **k a w a i i** : byakuya????

 

 **donut talk to me** : oh my fucking god he fucking dead

 

 **im hella high my guy** : oh my fucking god he fucking dead

 

 **k a w a i i** : oh my fucking god he fucking dead

 

 **k a w a i i** : ASSHOLE

 

 **donut talk to me** : YOU BEAT ME TO IT SHIT

 

 **im hella high my guy** : DANGIT

 

 **_broccoli tortellini_ ** _is online_

**broccoli tortellini** : chihiro you little

 

 **pidge** : ehehe

 

 **rockruff** : ohhh my god did you hack him?

 

 **broccoli tortellini** : INSOLENT F

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : BYAKUYA I SWEAR IF YOU EVEN DARE HURT CHIHIRO

 

 **fucktherulez** : MONDO

 

 **my evil twin** : FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHTD JFUFHJ

 

 **mukky** : ugh

 

 **mukky** : i have to handle this again ffs

 

 **pidge** : hhhhhh

 

 **pidge** : P  E  R  I  S  H

 

 **_pidge_ ** _kicked 13 people from the chat_

 

 **pidge** : goddamn you guys are loud

 

 

-

 

 

\---Tuesday, May 2nd, 5:47pm---

**_pidge_ ** _added 15 people_

 

 **k a w a i i** : WHAT WAS THAT

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : what happened while i was kicked???

 

 **smashmouth** : yeah im confused??

 

 **cherry pepsi** : chihiro kicked all of us from the chat, we do not know why

 

 **pidge** : sorry sorry!!!! i had to!!!!

 

 **rockruff** : why?

 

 **pidge** : i just needed to do smth

 

 **mukky** : hey why does it say there are 17 ppl in the chat

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : oh shit ur right

 

 **pidge** : everyone, say hello to Alter Ego!!

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : hello heteros

 

 **junkrat** : WHOOOOOOOO ARE YOU?

 

 **pidge** : they’re an ai ive been modeling!!! thought id put them in the chat to test them!!!

 

 **fucktherulez** : fully functioning ai? that’s incredible!!!

 

 **smashmouth** : yeah that’s sick!!!!!!!

 

 **smashmouth** : hello alter ego!

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : suck my balls

 

 **junkrat** : FERTYHGFDSWEUIJHGFDS$%^UJHGFDSW%^UGSEW^UJGDW$%^&UI

 

 **donut talk to me** : AGFDQYHAGFDSDRTAYHSDARTGACDEQRTAFCDES

 

 **k a w a i i** : JHJHDGTSYUSJHXGFRSTYUJHGFRSYAUHSGFRYUFR

 

 **im hella high my guy** : IM GONNA FCCSKSUCKINWSTFATYGQRYAFDRE

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : ^ gay culture

 

 **smashmouth** : WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **pidge** : oh btw they can talk and respond to stuff in real life

 

 **pidge** : but i specifically programmed them to respond with shitposts, memes, vines and other things while texting

 

 **mukky** : you are a hero

 

 **pidge** : okay, so help me out here, ask them something

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : ummm okay

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : favourite food?

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : Pizza pasta put it in a box deliver it to my house and put it on my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock cheesy on my peeny and some sauce a on my balls

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

 

 **donut talk to me** : this is the greatest day of my LIFE

 

 **my evil twin** : IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND OVR THIS

 

 **pidge** : alright its working!!!!

 

 **pidge** : basically, they’ll say anything. anything vagely resembling a shitpost, random strings of words, odd references, alla that jazz

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ya like jazz

 

 **pidge** : i forgot to mention, completely randomly

 

 **smashmouth** : so if we were to ask what they think about someone…?

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : don’t get any ideas

 

 **smashmouth** : hey alter ego

 

 **smashmouth** : what do you think of leon kuwata? ;)

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : bitch

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : i would die for you, alter ego

 

 **smashmouth** : that’s fair. that’s valid

 

 **rockruff** : what do you think of kyoko?

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : ….what are you doing

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : detective this is a crime scene what is this the murder weapon g

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : g

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : Ġ̴̛̗͙̦̣̦̦̣̈̋͂̌̌̄͆̃͝É̸̢̡͉͖̭̼̹͜Ţ̷̲̖̟͕̘̺̟͕̪͇̙͖͓̝̾̃ ̷͇̞͔̞̜̭̂̈́͗̑̔͒͆̊̃̽̕͝͝O̸̻͇̘͖̻̼̎͆̋̽̂́̅̓́̓͂̾̓͘F̷͍̠͓̰͚͋͒͑͗̎̄̊̿̔̚̕̚͜͠͝F̸̻̠͈̫̹̩̊͌̀̓̊̓̋̂͘ ̶̪̤̳̼̌͌͗̂̑̃̒̾͐̂͘ͅM̶̜̯̟̫̲̆̀̆̈̃̓͌͋͌̄͒̕͝Ÿ̵̛̬͕͙̩̼͖͈͕̳͕́͊̉͗̅̋̇̓́̈́͋͗ ̸̥̞̖̠͖̫̊̿̐͋̉̎̚Ḏ̷̨̳͓͈̤̫̖̤̺̣̬̫͚̚͜Ĩ̷̙̤̯̅̌͆̊̚͝͝Ç̷͈͍͎̝̬̦͔̈́̍̌͑͝K̶͉̲͒͗̇͝

 

 **junkrat** : everybody shut up

 

 **junkrat** : alter ego is the only straight ally in this room

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : does that mean im not the only straight person anymore???

 

 **pidge** : oh no alter ego’s nonbinary and gay

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : damn :(((

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : this heterophobia :(((

 

 **broccoli tortellini** : this is precisely the reason no one likes you

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : helen we’re lesbians

 

 **k a w a i i** : mood

 

 **mukky** : mood

 

 **donut talk to me** : mood

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : mood

 

 **junkrat** : mood

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : mood

 

 **im hella high my guy** : kyoko you’re bi

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : did i fucking stutter

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : hey alter ego

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : what do you think of taka?

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : we get it, john, you’re homosexual

 

 **my evil twin** : AHHAHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

 

 **smashmouth** : cant tell if that was directed towards mondo or taka

 

 **mukky** : both

 

 **k a w a i i** : both

 

 **mukky** : both is good

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : road to el dorado is the best anime

 

 **im hella high my guy** : where’s the lie

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : hey alter ego……

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : what do you think of…………….. yaoi

 

 **_Waffle Eggos_ ** _kicked **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** from the chat_

**my evil twin** : HOLAOAYSYYHYWY SHHISTTSTT

 

 **k a w a i i** : jhfdrthgfdTYUHERTYGFDWEYUHGFDEWE%YUGFE

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : DID THEY JUST

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : alter ego you’re so valid

 

 **smashmouth** : i stan you

 

 **pidge** : oh yeah i forgot about that function lmao

 

 **cherry pepsi** : kicking people when they say something dumb?

 

 **pidge** : oh no not everyone

 

 **pidge** : only hifumi

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : ive raised you well, son,

 

 **pidge** : gee thanks dad

 

 **fucktherulez** : aww bonding moment!!!

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : we had a bonding moment i cradled you in my arms

 

 **smashmouth** : did

 

 **smashmouth** : did they just

 

 **im hella high my guy** : a Voltron reference??? in my good Christian server??????

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : its more likely than you think

 

 **im hella high my guy** : we are so in sync

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : bye bye bye

 

 **rockruff** : alter ego?

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : yeet

 

 **rockruff** : whats ur favourite song?

 

 **rockruff** : you just sang bye bye bye by nsync so im curious

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ey

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ey

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ey

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : whats going on

 

 **smashmouth** : …you good buddy

 

 **k a w a i i** : please tell me this is what i think it is

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : I got a gun *loading click* no girls, girls gotta die *gunshots mix with drums*

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : wake up with no hhhuuueɘυυυʜʜʜ Julioioioio̸͔͛h̴͇h̶̰͑h̸̖̆h̷̢̎h̴̼̅ḩ̷̏  

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : I can I can’t baby jeans. You and your pe nis inpoopments   ̷̩͕̞̼̝̘̘̻̺̦̥͎̮͇̣̼̀͛́͌͐̊̏̕͘͝ ̴̡͈͚͉͈͚̰͓̼̣͇̟͓̲̣͐̍͌̋̓̂̋̇̋̃̉̒̈́̑̈́̉͘̕͘͜͝ ̵̥̠̼̐̾̎̑̀̌͋̀̍̍̈́̽̀͂̏̿̔̓ ̵̨̠̹͎̣̝͙̹̦̹̝̘̯̲̮̹̳͋̿̈̃̉̋̿́̽͂̑͜ ̸̠̄̐̓͊̇̈́̀́̇̚ ̴̣͈̘̞̗͓̜̤͈͈̙̒̔̆͒͋͛̎̽̿̽͊̔̃̔̀̚͝͝͠͠ ̷̛̛͚͎͎͈̱̦͉̻̯͗̆̂̌͌̊̈̈́͌̓̆͆̕͜͝ ̶̡̳͚̹͖̥͇̪͐̑̈̎̽̍̃͋͆̃̊͒͑̄̽͗̍̃̎̎̑̉͘̚ ̸̧̢̗̥͈͔̩͔̻͙̲͈̣̰̟̬̭̦̞̠͇̔̃͌͆̂͗̅̏̒͆̚͜͜͜͠ ̶̧̨̨͙̮̳͕͈̪̫͓̗̯͖̓̈́̈́̍͒ ̸̛͖̻̔̾͆͆̿͑̑̍͑̕͘̕͝ ̸̧̨̰̯͙̱͔̠̭̙̲͔̼̳̭̦̹̫͔̖̙̿̓͗̍̄̈́̉͜ͅ ̶̧̨̫̮̣̝̠͎̰̜̜̗͖̮͓͉͙̯͙͑̅̈͊͜ ̸̡̬͕͔̺͚̘̉̿̐̅̉͊̆͋̽̈́̈́̐̓́̿̒̊̄̾͘̕͘͘͜͝͝ ̸̟͂͌̅̅̅ ̶̨͉̘̟͎̣̳͖̗̩̑̈́͌̌̂͌́̓ ̸̰̱͈̣̟͚̩̠͆̃͝ ̶̨̡̨̧̨̪̼̞̖̝̦͔͉̲̩̱͍̱͇͍̗̺̞̦̑͒̀̓̀͑͑̄̀̀͂͆̀̇ ̸̢̨͙͔͇͖̠̥͕͎̖̫̗̇̽̀̂́͑͘̕͜͝    

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ~~JJJUUU UUUUUU _И_   _И_   _И_   _И_   _И_   _И_   _И_   _И_   _И_  HHHHH jushjush~~

 

  **Waffle Eggos** : ʳʳʳʳʳˡˡˡˡˡˡˡ ᴮʷᶦᵖ

                         

 **Waffle Eggos** : ɢᴜᴜᴜ

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : _Ｊ_ _Ｕ_ _Ｍ_ _Ｐ_ in the CAAC , gᵤᵤ     

 

 **donut talk to me** : OH MY GDRTYHGFDSERTYUJ

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : buddy????? BUDDY????

 

 **mukky** : they’re having a strnoke

 

 **k a w a i i** : HELL YES

 

 **k a w a i i** : CHIHRO HOWD YOU KNOW THAT WAS MY FAV MEME

 

 **pidge** : i love that meme too

 

 **cherry pepsi** : I’m so very confused.

 

 **_Usami: The Squeakquel_ ** _joined the group chat_

 

 **broccoli tortellini** : god fucking damn it

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : heyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : what do you want now?

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : heard you guys laughing in your rooms n i wanted to see what the fuss was all about

 

 **im hella high my guy** : were you spying on us???????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : nah, i just have eyes everywhere

 

 **junkrat** : that is!!!! not any better!!!!!

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : anways whats so funny????

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : fingers in his ass

 

 **k a w a i i** : JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : really??? you think that’s funny???

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : who even is that???

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : im the baddest bitch in this room

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : ohohohohohohhohhh you think???

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : fite me 1v1 scrub

 

 **my evil twin** : FIGHGHTGHTGHTGHHTGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT

 

 **pidge** : monokuma.

 

 **pidge** : i swear.

 

 **pidge** : if you even think about breaking alter ego, the ai ive been programming for WEEKS,

 

 **pidge** : i will break every single bone in your body and snatch your spinal cord.

 

 **pidge** : got it?

 

 **mukky** : jesus Christ

 

 **my evil twin** : that…. came from a dark place

 

 **fucktherulez** : chihiro are you okay?

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : yeeeeah hella lit fam

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : …yikess

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : well good luck trying to hurt me ;)

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : youll never find me ;)

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ***SCANNING SCHOOL GROUNDS***

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : wait

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : waitwaitwaitwait

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ***TARGET LOCATED***

 

 **Waffle Eggos** : ***TARGET FOUND IN ROOM 12***

 

 **mukky** : WHAT

 

 **mukky** : THAT’S MY ROOM

 

 **smashmouth** : HHHHHHHHHOLY SHIT ALTER EGO CAN DO THAT????

 

 **pidge** : ye ofc

 

 **pidge** : i usually just use it to see who’s hanging out with who

 

 **pidge** : romantically, i mean ;)

 

 **im hella high my guy** : hahhahahhahahha shit

 

 **pidge** : i see all

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : fuck

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : fufuufckfuckcfukcckuffkc

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : SHIT MUKURO GOT ME SHSYTSH

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : HELPMEEMSMSJEUYSFRTWGEFDSR SGFWRFSD

 

 **_Usami: The Squeakquel_ ** _went offline_

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : haha he died

 

 **k a w a i i** : AHAHHAH SHE FUCKED HIM UP

 

 **k a w a i i** : I SAW IT ALL

 

 **rockruff** : wait how?

 

 **rockruff** : your rooms are far apart, and mukuro’s door is closed?

 

 **k a w a i i** : uh

 

 **k a w a i i** : would you look at the time i gotta go bye

 

 **_k a w a i i_ ** _went offline_

 

 **cherry pepsi** : that was… weird

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : wonder whats up?

 

-

\---Tuesday, May 2nd, 6:09pm---

 **_junkrat_ ** _sent a message to **k a w a i i**_

**junkrat** : im onto you

 

 **junkrat** : i saw you

 

 **k a w a i i** : haha what are you talking about??

 

 **junkrat** : you know exactly what this is

 

 **junkrat** : i saw you and mukuro ;))))))

 

 **k a w a i i** : shit

 

 **k a w a i i** : uhm

 

 **k a w a i i** : fine you got me

 

 **junkrat** : EHEEEHHEEEEHHEE

 

 **k a w a i i** : but we aren’t dating!!!!

 

 **k a w a i i** : i just wanted to hang out, that’s all

 

 **junkrat** : ye but you’ve got a massive crush on her

 

 **k a w a i i** : FUCK

 

 **k a w a i i** : tell anyone and ur dead

 

 **junkrat** : i promise i wont tell

 

 **junkrat** : you gotta tell her eventually tho eventually tho :P

 

 **junkrat** : you’ve been crushing on her for AGES

 

 **k a w a i i** : ugh your right

 

 **junkrat** : alright. listen here.

 

 **junkrat** : there’s a party in the gym tonight, pretty much the entire school’s gonna be there

 

 **junkrat** : bunch of couples are gonna be there being all lovey and whatnot

 

 **junkrat** : so……………. im gonna help you confess to her.

 

 **k a w a i i** : really?

 

 **junkrat** : yep!!!!

 

 **k a w a i i** : wow

 

 **k a w a i i** : you’re actually pretty decent when you’re not being a total bitch

 

 **junkrat** : oh so this is the thanks i get??

 

 **k a w a i i** : so uh,,,, whats the plan??

 

 **junkrat** : hhhhmmmm ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment/kudos if you enjoyed!  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> (also pleassseee do not argue with me on the pronouns i've used for chihiro)
> 
> Makoto: rockruff  
> Kirigiri: my suspicions are confirmed  
> Sayaka: k a w a i i  
> Celeste: Marie Antoinette  
> Yasuhiro: i’m hella high my guy  
> Leon: smashmouth  
> Chihiro: pidge  
> Kiyotaka: fucktherulez  
> Mondo: mondos bizarre adventure  
> Hifumi: alpha and omega’s 3 million sequels  
> Sakura: cherry pepsi  
> Aoi: donut talk to me  
> Toko: my evil twin, only on disney channel  
> Byakuya: broccoli tortellini  
> Mukuro: mukky  
> Junko: junkrat


	14. Kirumi's One in a Million Day Off Goes As Well As You'd Expect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kirumi attempts to have 1 day off on her birthday, chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aightaightaight
> 
> so this was very last minute, i only decided to write this this morning so its kind of rushed
> 
> also, this chapter is much more serious than the other chapters. theres only a few funny moments.
> 
> anyways uhhh enjoy!!!!

\---May 10th, 12:02am---

**kaegay** : *kicks down the door with enough strength to break a man’s skull*

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : god that’s so hot

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : off to a great start it seems

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : kaede

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : its midnight

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : what do you want

 

 **ass ass in** : says the bitch that woke us up at 3am to tell us that consenting to cannibalism is vore

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im flattered you remembered that, really

 

 **kaegay** : LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS

 

 **kaegay** : DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : well, since its technically midnight, it’s may 10th, right?

 

 **kaegay** : YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : may i ask why you woke us up at 12am to tell us this?

 

 **kaegay** : …do you not remember?

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : remember what??

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : im confused

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i don’t remember anything about a day like may 10th,,,

 

 **kaegay** : hm

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : why do i feel like shes about to kill us

 

 **kaegay** : MAY 10TH

 

 **kaegay** : ITS SOMEONES BIRTHDAY

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : really????????????????? I HAD NO IDEA UH

 

 **kaegay** : IT’S THE QUEEN’S BIRTHDAY

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : queen??

 

 **kaegay** : holy fuck you guys

 

 **kaegay** : may 10th??????????

 

 **kaegay** : KIRUMI’S BIRTHDAY????????????????

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : oh

 

 **freeshovacadoo** :    O               H

 

 **nyehh :3** : ha,,ahah,, must have slipped my,,,,mind

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : fuck she’s gonna kill us

 

 **kaegay** : ANYWAYS NOW THAT YOU F  I NN AA LL Y REMEMBERED

 

 **kaegay** : IM TELLING YOU WHATS GOING ON TODAY K

 

 **kaegay** : don’t bother kirumi today

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : what do you mean?

 

 **kaegay** : listen, it may not seem like it but shes exhausted

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : i figured she must be, but she hides it so well!

 

 **kaegay** : that’s because she prioritises her duties as a maid over her own health!!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : that’s awful…

 

 **kaegay** : so LISTEN

 

 **kaegay** : please don’t give her a hard time today

 

 **kaegay** : we still have classes today but don’t cause any messes

 

 **kaegay** : if you do she’ll insist on cleaning it up

 

 **kaegay** : also if you need anything, get it yourself

 

 **kaegay** : make ur own breakfast

 

 **kaegay** : clean your own room

 

 **kaegay** : just give her a BREAK

 

 **kaegay** : promise this to me??? PLEASE??

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : of course, kaede.

 

 **nyehh :3** : nyeh, i promise

 

 **ass ass in** : sure

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : you bet!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : promise

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HELL YEH

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : girl’s honour!!!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : ye

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : hhhhhh yes

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : gonta promises!

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : i promise.

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i swear to atua!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : yepyep

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : you got it!

 

 **kaegay** : ALRIGHT GOOD

 

 **kaegay** : me n kirumi are going on a date tonight also

 

 **kaegay** : so make ur own fuckin dinner

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : aight

 

 **kaegay** : anyways im going to sleep

 

 **kaegay** : goodbye

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : goodnight! :DD

 

 **_kaegay_ ** _went offline_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : this is gonna be hell

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : we’re gonna die

 

 

-

 

 

\---Thursday, May 10th, 9:34am---

_Conversation between **pianos** and **maid**_

****

****

**maid** : kaede?

 

 **pianos** : yes? :)

 

 **maid** : I find it very odd that none of the other students have bothered be today…

 

 **maid** : I haven’t received any requests, they made their own breakfast, and they’re uncharacteristically well behaved.

 

 **pianos** : ohh really?

 

 **pianos** : well that’s a relief!

 

 **pianos** : now you can finally relax! :D

 

 **maid** : …are you behind this?

 

 **pianos** : noooo

 

 **maid** : kaede

 

 **pianos** : okay okay you got me

 

 **pianos** : you’re wicked smart wow

 

 **maid** : it wasn’t that difficult to figure out. I can tell when something’s up with you.

 

 **pianos** : even through text?

 

 **maid** : well of course, since you put in the effort of adding an extra “h” at the end of the “oh”

 

 **pianos** : holy

 

 **maid** : Anyways, Kaede, what did you do?

 

 **pianos** : i just told them not to bother you today, since it’s your birthday!

 

 **pianos** : they won’t be bugging you at all!

 

 **maid** : Kaede, I greatly appreciate that, but

 

 **maid** : my duty to them is to serve them. I must fulfill their wishes if I am to live up to my title.

 

 **pianos** : kirumi, listen, your façade isn’t working.

 

 **maid** : what?

 

 **pianos** : i can also tell when something’s wrong with you!

 

 **pianos** : you look utterly exhausted every day! but you’re hiding it!

 

 **maid** : I mustn’t let how I feel get in the way of my work.

 

 **pianos** : bullshit!

 

 **pianos** : you may be the ultimate maid but your own health comes before everything!!!

 

 **pianos** : You need to take care of yourself

 

 **pianos** : if you don’t take care of yourself, how will you be able to serve them like you always do?

 

 **maid** : …

 

 **maid** : You have a point. Very well then.

 

 **pianos** : there we go!

 

 **maid** : thank you, love <3

 

 **pianos** : <3

 

 

-

 

 

 

\---Thursday, May 10th, 4:25pm---

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fuck

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fuck

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : whomp there it is

 

 **ass ass in** : kokichi what did you fucking do

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HEY IT WASN’T ME OKAY

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : BEFORE YOU GO BLAMING PEOPLE

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : PLEASE JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : oh my god

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : OH MY GOD

 

 **ass ass in** : what???

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : WE… HAVE A PROBLEM

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : WHAT HAPPENED

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SOMEONE PUNCHED A GODDAMN HOLE IN THE WALL OF KIRUMI’S ROOM

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HER FLOWER VASE IS ON THE FLOOR

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : …..I THINK HER SINK IS FLOODING????????????????????????

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : F U C K I N G    W     H       A          T

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : KOKICHI FOR FUCKS SAKE

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : KAEDE SAID NOT TO GO MAKING ANY MESSES!!!!

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : HOW IN GODS NAME??? DID YOU FUCKING DO ALL OF THIS??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IT WASN’T ME

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : I don’t believe it was him.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : I’m currently in the room with him, I arrived shortly after he did.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : why were you in her room in the first place???

**_Usami: The Squeakquel_ ** _joined the chat_

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : BADA BING BADA BOOM

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKK

 

 **ass ass in** : NO

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : ohhh my god

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : he was chasing me! >:3

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : are you the one who messed up kirumi’s room??

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : duh

 

 **ass ass in** : YOU LITTLE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ITS HER BIRTHDAY TODAY YOU ASSHOLE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SHES OUT ON A DATE RN

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : oohhh, whoopsie daisy! i did a fucko! oh noes! :3

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : im gonna kick you off a goddamn building

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : mmm yes kick me daddy

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : actually im kicking myself off a building

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi, tell us what happened in full.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yeah yeah of course

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : so im just chilling in the living room, minding my own business

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : suddenly emo yogi bear comes out of NOWHERE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : he says something like, “i’m gonna go check on kirumi!”

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : then he BOOKS IT UP THE STAIRS

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : naturally, i ran after him

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i met kiyo along the way, he followed me

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : but when we got to kirumi’s door at the end of the corridor

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : it was too late

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the room was an utter mess, and monokuma had disappeared.

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : you swear this is what happened?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i swear.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : listen I know I’m supposed to be the “jokester” of the group but I promised.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I might lie a lot, but i never break a promise.

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : then I believe you.

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : so do i.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : you aren’t in the wrong here, kokichi

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : yeah

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ITS MONOKUMA

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : n-nani?! D:

 

 **ass ass in** : listen you little shit

 

 **ass ass in** : you might think you’re above the law

 

 **ass ass in** : but mark my words I won’t hesitate to break all your limbs

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : future foundation wouldn’t like that ;)))

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : who cares?????

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : future foundation can just make another you

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : you’re easily replaceable.

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : …what??

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : im… replaceable?

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : impossible…

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : how could this be?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : STOP DICKING AROUND

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : aww come on that’s what i do best!

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : anyways i gotta dash

 

 **Usami: The Squeakquel** : have fun cleaning up the mess!!!

 

 **_Usami: The Squeakquel_ ** _went offline_

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _kicked **Usami: The Squeakquel** from the chat_

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : he’s gone

 

 **ass ass in** : thank goodness

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : we still have a heUUGE PROBLEM

 

 **nyehh :3** : how are we supposed to fix the room???

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : okayokayokay listen

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : it’s only 4:45pm

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kirumi and kaede will still be out for a while

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kaede told me they’d be back around 10 tonight

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : we have time.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i don’t think time is the issue.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : our main issue is HOW WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FIX THIS??

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : kokichi, what’s the major damage?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hmmm gimme a minute

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okay so

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the flowers in kirumi’s vase are fine, and they aren’t damaged at all

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : however

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the vase itself is shattered.

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : okay, so we need a new, identical vase.

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i don’t think we have something like that just lying around…

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : there’s a flower shop nearby, in the city

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : im sure they sell similar vases there!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : perfect

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : maki and rantaro, could you take care of that?

 

 **ass ass in** : of course

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : yep!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : alright, just be careful

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : i don’t think kirumi and kaede are having dinner yet, so they might be wandering around the city

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : roger that!!!

 

 **ass ass in** : sneaking around is my specialty

 

 **ass ass in** : i don’t know abt rantaro tho

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : wow r00d

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : itll be fine!!

 

 **ass ass in** : okay then, we’re off

 

 **_ass ass in_ ** _went offline_

**_freeshovacadoo_ ** _went offline_

**im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : kokichi, the sink is flooding?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : yeah

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i think one of the pipes might be broken too, water started leaking from the bottom now

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : okay

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : we should get kazuichi

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : he’s a mechanic, he could probably do something

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : good idea! miu, could you assist him?

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : tch

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : as much as i hate that stupid fuck

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : ill help him

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i will try and clean the bathroom!

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : since there will be water everywhere :)

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : okay, awesome

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the room itself is in shambles

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the bed is undone, the carpet it misplaced

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : things have been knocked off the shelves

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i think one of the pillows is ripped

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : oh! i can stitch the pillows!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i might specialize in sowing clothes, but I can stitch other things!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : thanks, tsumugi!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : the rest of us will clean up the mess in the room

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : okay?

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : sounds good!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : as much as i hate taking orders from degenerates, im in!

 

 **nyehh :3** : nyeah

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : however, a problem remains.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : namely, the hole in the wall.

 

 **whaddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : oh, right.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : the hole, thankfully, doesn’t go to far, and it isn’t too big…

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : i don’t think we’ll be able to fix that. not today, at least.

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : we’d need to call someone, but we can’t do that on such short notice…

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : …

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i have an idea.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : everyone, get to work. i’ll handle the hole.

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : lmao you’ll handle the hole

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : :I

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : …

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : okokokok sorry D:

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : i trust you with this, kokichi.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : don’t worry! i got this.

 

 

-

 

 

\---Thursday, May 10th, 4:56pm---

_Conversation between **avocados** and **grape panta**_

****

**grape panta** : oi

 

 **avocados** : hello

 

 **avocados** : how are things over there?

 

 **grape panta** : good

 

 **grape panta** : you?

 

 **avocados** : we haven’t ran into them, thankfully

 

 **avocados** : we’re almost at the flower shop

 

 **grape panta** : okok

 

 **grape panta** : hey listen

 

 **grape panta** : i need you to do something for me. at the flower shop.

 

 **avocados** : hm?

 

 **avocados** : yeah man, what do you need?

 

 

-

 

 

\---Thursday, May 10th, 10:03pm---

 

Kirumi was surprised to see the lights of the dorm were still on. The windows were opened, and she saw the bright lights of the inside of the small building. It was late, and she’d assumed the others had gone to sleep already.

Kaede seemed to be mumbling under her breath, angrily.

“ _I swear, they better not have done anything…_ ”

Kaede opened the door, letting Kirumi go in first before she walked in, closing the door behind her.

At once, they were met with the face of all the other students, all lounging on the couches.

Kirumi knew something was up.

“Uh… hi?” Kaede said, confused.

The other students smiled _way_ to wide.

“Hello!” a few of them said in unison. It was kind of creepy.

Kirumi had the urge to say, _what did you do_ , but she held it in.

Kokichi’s usual playful grin was replaced by a seemingly forced smile.

“Howww was your date?” he said. “No trouble, I hope?”

“…none at all…” Kirumi responded, slightly uncomfortable.

Silence ensued. Kirumi had had enough.

Taking Kaede by the arm, she walked across the living room and to the stairs.

Bringing Kaede through the hallway, she stopped in front of her room. The door was closed, obviously. An odd smell seemed to be coming from the other side.

She turned to Kaede to ask what was going on, but saw that the pianist’s face was bright red.

“Kaede?” Kirumi asked. The pianist flinched.

“Oh!” she said loudly. “W-when you took me by the arm… and dragged me here… I thought you were gonna…”

Realization hit Kirumi like a truck. It was her turn to blush. “Oh… uh… sorry…I… uh…”

Kaede waved her hands dismissively. “A-anyways, this is odd, right? They were acting so formal. WAY too formal.”

Kirumi nodded. “Yes. Something is up.” she commented. “And it’s in my room.”

Kirumi took a deep breath. And, with worry rising in her heart, she opened the door.

 

Kirumi couldn’t help but be surprised.

Having opened the door, she quickly examined the room, looking for any problems.

However, everything seemed perfectly fine. Kirumi even swore the room was cleaner than how she’d left it.

Just then, Kaede gasped. “Look!”

Following where she was pointing, Kirumi gasped as well.

There were flowers in the wall.

A small opening held a bouquet of different coloured flowers, all of different specimens. Kirumi saw purple, magenta, light pink, dark blue, and lots of other colours.

Both girls were baffled. Then, they noticed something else.

On the floor next to the flowers, there was a small note.

The handwriting was neat, and written in dark cyan. Kirumi read the note out loud.

 

_Hello Kirumi,_

_Again, happy birthday! You might be wondering, what’s up with these flowers? Well, we’ll start by apologizing._

_Monokuma got into your room and did so much damage, we panicked._

_We were able to sort out everything else, but there was a hole in the wall._

_Since we couldn’t cover it up, Kokichi had the idea of filling it with flowers!_

_Every person in the dorm has a flower that represents them, and the white and pink flowers are you and Kaede!_

_The flowers won’t last forever, though, so they’re just s placeholder until we can actually get the whole covered up._

_We tried our best, we didn’t want to disturb you on your once day to relax. We appreciate everything you do for us!_

_Hope you had fun on your date!_

_-Shuichi_

Turning the note around, Kirumi saw that the other side was covered in signatures.

Every student in the Harmony Dorm had signed it, in their favourite colour. All the signatures were different, and the handwriting varied. The handwriting seemed a perfect representation of the one who wrote it, from Miu’s being jagged and quick to Kaito’s unique way of dotting the i’s with stars.

Kaede, dumbfounded, stared at the flowers in awe. “Wow…” she commented. She turned to Kirumi, but grew concerned when she saw her girlfriend’s face.

Kirumi was crying.

Kirumi had always maintained a serious and dignified persona, refusing to crack under any kind of stress or emotion.

No matter the situation, no matter the problem, Kirumi looked on with a straight face.

Kaede had never seen her cry.

“Kirumi?” Kaede said, worried. But Kirumi looked back at her, smiling, eyes sparkling with tears.

“N-no one… has ever… acknowledged my service… l-like this…”

Kaede smiled, and wrapped her arms around Kirumi, who buried her face in Kaede’s hair.

“You deserve it. Happy birthday, sweet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, forget what i said in my other fic, they DEFINITELY fucked after this


	15. Party Don't Start Til Someone Eventually Fucks Everything Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party held the night before, and some... bonding done by some of the couples leads the Super Dorm to go into Buzzfeed Unsolved mode for two whole hours.
> 
> The Harmony, Happy and Super Dorms aren't the only Dorms with a group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo  
> k so frequent updates might stop now, im hoping that i can get ch.5 of AVIW out next
> 
> so. this chap actually takes place the day after chap13 does, the day after the party
> 
> as i said, the Kirumi bday chapter wasnt planned, and when i decided to write that one i was already halfway through this one  
> so, yeah. thats why this update is so early!!  
> anyways ive gotta fucking cadet parade coming up i want to perish
> 
> please read the notes at the bottom!!!!!!!  
> I hope you enjoy! :D

\---Wednesday, May 3rd, 5:14am---

**_\---Goodbye my Fucking Sanity---_ **

 

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : hi everyone welcome to the Disney channel today im gonna fucking murder nagito komaeda

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : god finally

 

 **minion goblin** : yay

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : hhhhhhhnnnggg

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : god im so tired

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : understandable

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : babe what did you do this time?

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : oh nothing much

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : he just

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : yknow

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : locked me and kaz in a fucking closet for the whole fucking night

 

 **sausage italiano** : LMAO

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : i would key smash but im too tired

 

 **minion goblin** : oh yeah speaking of smash

 

 **minion goblin** : how was ur night with Sonia yesterday?? ;)

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : what??

 

 **minion goblin** : holy FUCK you are DUMB

 

 **minion goblin** : there was a party last night??? im pretty sure every single couple ended up fucking???

 

 **eat shit and die** : i highly doubt all couples ended up… doing it

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : “doing it” what are you 7

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : hes right yknow

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : i don’t think peko and mikan did the do

 

 **stab me daddy** : of course not. who do you take us for?

 

 **stab me daddy** : mikan isn’t comfortable with that, and neither am i.

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : i didn’t bring it up don’t blame me

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : but i didn’t see any couples getting uh……. close

 

 **minion goblin** : how??? it was so hard to miss tf

 

 **sausage italiano** : well it happened near the end

 

 **sausage italiano** : and

 

 **sausage italiano** : i saw you drag nagito out of that gym hajime don’t act innocent

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : oh lord

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : im afraid to ask, but

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : …that’s what those noises were in the dorms last night???

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : no

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : we didn’t do it in the dorms

 

 **choke on my ahoge** :   B   I   T   C  H

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : WOW YOU JUST… OPENLY CONFESED TO HAVING FUCKED LAST NIGHT

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : eh

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : im gonna fling myself into the sun yeet

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : which classroom was it in

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : bls tell me it was biology so i have an excuse to never go in there again

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : it was a janitor’s closet i think

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : hhholy shit nagito

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : okay but then what were those noises??

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : what do you think kazuichi and fuyuhiko were doing in that closet all night????

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : ;))

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : im gonna kill you for real

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : you little

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : nagito’s luck causes his predictions to be right almost 100% of the time………………………………….so

 

 **eat shit and die** : oh my god

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : haha

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : this sucks, man

 

 **sausage italiano** : who tops??

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : die you little bitch

 

 **sausage italiano** : k so its definitely fuyuhiko

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : hajime can i fling myself into the sun along with you

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : h

 

 **_this is how we do things in my country_ ** _is online_

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : hello everyone!!!!!!!!

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : it is such a beautiful day today, isn’t it? just wonderful!!!! :3

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : ha

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : confirmed >:3

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : hhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop

 

 **sausage italiano** : k so nagito and hajime, Sonia and chiaki, fuyuhiko and kazuichi

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : are you keeping track????

 

 **minion goblin** : ewwww perv!!!!

 

 **sausage italiano** : oh im the pervert????

 

 **sausage italiano** : seriously????

 

 **sausage italiano** : OH COME ON NOW YALL WERE JUST TALKIN BOUT AND TRYNA GUESS WHO BEEN FUCKIN BUT ‘M THE ONLY ONE WHO’S WEIRD NOW IS IT??? YAINT FAIR

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : jesus

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : you’ve unleashed the beast

 

 **eat shit and die** : even while texting, his southern accent comes out when hes angry??

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : or horny

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : most likely horny

 

 **sausage italiano** : FUCKIN

 

 **_sausage italiano_ ** _went offline_

**minion goblin** : finally

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : yes

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : can we…. please change topics

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : i really don’t feel comfortable talking about that so openly

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : i agree

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : oh…

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : im sorry, hajime :(

 

 **stab me daddy** : however, I must say something.

 

 **stab me daddy** : everyone was acting so… odd at the party yesterday.

 

 **stab me daddy** : well, not everyone, just the couples, mostly.

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : now that you mention it…

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : i saw shuichi and kokichi getting uh……………… frisky on the wall of the gym

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : some people were acting rlly loopy

 

 **eat shit and die** : were they drunk?

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : there was only punch, and alcohol is forbidden on campus

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : this party was organized by the headmaster and other school authorities, why would they let underage students drink alcohol?

 

 **literally crying** : maybe the punch was messed with?

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : …spiked?

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : possibly??

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : couldn’t be

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : i don’t feel hungover, i just feel sorta… dazed

 

 **eat shit and die** : you know what it feels like to be hungover??

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : h

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : not surprised

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : but yeah i feel the same way

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : same

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : so do i!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : that’s weird

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : i drank lots of punch but i felt just fine, yesterday and right now, im just tired but that’s cause we stayed up late

 

 **minion goblin** : same here!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : …..

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : …….

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : oh

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : o h  n o

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : what

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : uhuhh,…

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : i think i know what happened,,,,

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : what is it then?

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ill tell u later cause im not sure

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : uh

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : nagito lets switch topics

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : yep yep!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : lets talk about something else!!!

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : ANYWAYS

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : have you heard about chihiro’s new AI?

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : ooooo sounds neat!

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : yeah its hella dope

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : never say that again or im leaving you

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : hhhnnnnngg

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : that went from 69 to 0 all the way up to 100 in a matter of seconds

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ffs

**_Imposter_ ** _joined the chat_

**_Ryota Mitarai_ ** _joined the chat_

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : THEY’VE ARRIVED

 

 **Ryota Mitarai** : hello everybody!

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : hello, Ryota! :D

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : finally decided to join the chat, eh, Imposter?

 

 **Imposter** : yes, I have. I also invited Ryota to join.

 

 **Ryota Mitarai** : you guys seemed to always be laughing while texting, so we wanted to join!

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : you know what this means?

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : it is time for

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : the initiation.

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : ryota, I’m assuming they are posing as Byakuya right now?

 

 **Imposter** : indeed, so he/him pronouns are fine.

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : A H E M

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : I N I T I A T I O N

 

 **Ryota Mitarai** : what do you mean, initiation?

 

 **minion goblin** : oh no

 

 **minion goblin** : you’ve made a big mistake

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : run for your fucking life

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : HHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Ryota Mitarai** ’s name to **anime twink**_

****

**_hopesexual trash bag_ ** _changed **Imposter** ’s name to **electric boogaloo**_

****

**electric boogaloo** : …electric boogaloo?

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : just look it up

 

 **anime twink** : ….thanks nagito

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : you…… appreciate the name i gave?

 

 **anime twink** : its not incredible, but its not horrible

 

 **electric boogaloo** : agreed. it is the same for me.

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : …

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : wwowo tthnaks

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : y

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : you made him cry

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : nah, hes fine

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : no, seriously

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : hes just… staring at the ceiling and crying

 

 **eat shit and die** : …well then

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : yikes

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : are you in the same room?

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : yeah

 

 **minion goblin** : hmmmmmmmmmmm i wonder why ;)))))))

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : oh for fu

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : we are not starting with this again

 

 **minion goblin** : eep

 

 **electric boogaloo** : anyways, why are you all on here?

 

 **electric boogaloo** : it’s 5 am. we barely got any sleep because of the party. aren’t you tired?

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : bitch im always tired

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : same

 

 **minion goblin** : same

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : same

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : sssame

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : same

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : same

 

 **eat shit and die** : same

 

 **anime twink** : wow aren’t you all just rays of sunshine

 

 **minion goblin** : ryota need I remind you of the time you tripped while running in gym class and instead of trying to get up you just lied there, face first on the pavement and said “im so tired of being alive”

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : mood

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : mood

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : mood

 

 **minion goblin** : mood

 

 **electric boogaloo** : DON’T START WITH THIS AGAIN

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : ANYWAYS, to answer ur question

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : we were discussing the party yesterday

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : how all the couples were acting rlly weird :PP

 

 **electric boogaloo** : oh, you mean because of the aphrodisiacs?

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : th

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : the W H A T

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : WAITWAITWAITWAIT

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : I KNEW IT

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : …ah, that makes sense.

 

 **eat shit and die** : HOLD ON A SECOND WH

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : what?

 

 **literally crying** : HHUH

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : oh, i get it

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : so i guess the reason it only affected certain couples was because it took advantage of the sexual tension?

 

 **electric boogaloo** : wait, you didn’t know?

 

 **electric boogaloo** : I spoke with Kyoko last night

 

 **electric boogaloo** : she had immediately figured it out

 

 **eat shit and die** : that’s not surprising

 

 **_*SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops_ ** _joined the chat_

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : hi im gonna kill each and every single one of you

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : woah woah wait

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : …ruruka???

 

 **minion goblin** : jesus why is the loyalty dorm invading our chat

 

 **anime twink** : ruruka! why are you here?

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : which one of you stole the aphrodisiacs from seiko’s lab????

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : oh

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : hiyoko did

 

 **minion goblin** : HEY WHAT THE FUCK

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : i knew it

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : ur going down bitch

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : hey quit it!!!

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : you cant fight a 2 year old!!!!!

 

 **minion goblin** : FIRST OF ALL FUCK YOU

 

 **minion goblin** : SECOND OF ALL

 

 **minion goblin** : I DIDN’T STEAL ANYTHING

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : but it was you who stole the aphrodisiacs last time and snuck it into the lunch Teruteru made, was it not?

 

 **minion goblin** : WELL…….. YEAH

 

 **minion goblin** : BUT IT WASN’T ME THIS TIME I SWEAR

 

 **minion goblin** : I WASN’T EVEN AWARE SEIKO EVEN HAD MORE APHRODISIACS

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : i don’t think it was her

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : she was as surprised as i was when we learned about the aphrodisiacs

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : h

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : fine fine

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : so WHO was it???

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : likely, the same person who stole them is the one who spiked the punch with it, yes?

 

 **eat shit and die** : makes sense

 

 **minion goblin** : it was probably kokichi, the little shit

 

 **stab me daddy** : not likely

 

 **stab me daddy** : he drank the punch as well, why would he drink it if he knew what would happen?

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : yeah also he n shuichi ended up fucking soo

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : seiko’s panicking she thinks the whole spiked punch incident was her fault

 

 **literally crying** : oh nno! D:

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : but whats weird is

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : she always locks the door to her lab when she leaves to prevent this exact thing from happening

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : if the door to her lab is unlocked, it means she’s inside

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : she has the only key, its impossible to get inside without the keys

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : AND

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : the aphrodisiacs is stored in a refrigerator locked by a passcode that only she knows

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : soo….. it’s unbelievable that someone was able to get it

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : how odd!

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : …

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : …

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : monokuma did it

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : huh????

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : obviously

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : we know he can control doors when he locked ryoma in his room

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : hes above the law

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : also putting aphrodisiacs in the punch is exactly the kind of prank he’d pull

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : …holy shit

 

 **minion goblin** : kazuichi said something smart!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK!!!!

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : thnx kaz

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : im gonna go fight monokuma brb

 

 **_Usami Two: The Squeakquel_ ** _joined the chat_

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : ahaha.,,,,,, please don’t

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : well well well lookie who it is

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : okaokay BEFORE YOU KILL ME

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : i just wanna say two things

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : 1: ur welcome for giving you couples a good time

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : ;)

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : ugh

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : 2

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : this prank was approved by the headmaster!!!

 

 **electric boogaloo** : ….what

 

 **anime twink** : WHAT

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : YOU WHAT

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : WWHWHWHWAIT

 

 **eat shit and die** : WHAT THE SHIT?????????

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT??????

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : wow this is like the opening to thrift shop by Macklemore

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : but yeah!!!

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : Jin said the prank was harmless

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : and allowed me to do it

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : IN EXCHANGE

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : FOR SOMETHING

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : im afraid to ask

 

 **minion goblin** : fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : just….. spit it out

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : what is it then????????????!!

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : i have to teach homeroom for 1 month

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : AND oversee exams!!!

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : you fuckers aint getting rid of me!!!!!!

 

 **eat shit and die** : SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : GOD DAMMIT

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : THIS SEEMS LESS LIKE A PUNISHMENT FOR YOU AND MORE LIKE A PUNISHMENT FOR US

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : oh no

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : welp im out goodbye

 

 **_*SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops_ ** _has left the chat_

 

 **anime twink** : uhm

 

 **anime twink** : so

 

 **anime twink** : yeet

 

 **_anime twink_ ** _has left the group chat_

 

 **electric boogaloo** : this betrayal,,

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : anyways i gtg!

 

 **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** : see you in homero

 

 **_literally crying_ ** _kicked **Usami Two: The Squeakquel** from the chat_

**stab me daddy** : well done, mikan :)

 

 **literally crying** : :)

 

 **minion goblin** : goddamn that’s cold

 

 **minion goblin** : anyways im going to sleep bye

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : ….

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : FUCK

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : FUCKFUCK FUCK

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : WHAT NOW>????????

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : ITS 8

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : WE ONLY HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE CLASS STARTS

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy deviantart oc** : OH NO

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : OH NOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : AND WE HAVE MONOKUMA FOR HOMEROOM

 

 **minion goblin** : fuck it

 

 **minion goblin** : im sleeping anyways

 

 **literally crying** : but, hiyoko!

 

 **minion goblin** : fuck alla yall goodnight

 

 

 

\---Wednesday, May 3rd, 8:03am---

**_\---The Old Fucks, the Demon Babies and the Talentless Trio---_ **

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : hi

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : i come bearing bad news

 

 **makoto nijima** : that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : ah yes spouting emo bullshit at 8 in the morning

 

 **makoto nijima** : suck my ass

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : suck my ass

 

 **team mom** : don’t say that in front of the children!!!

 

 **holy shit its fucking kirishima bnha** : you better not be talking abt me

 

 **holy shit its fucking kirishima bnha** : im only two grades lower than you but i will fight you

 

 **hatsune pinku** : same but i wont fight you

 

 **hatsune pinku** : ill just stare at you passive aggressively and when you ask whats wrong ill say nothing

 

 **anime twink** : STOP

 

 **pugs not drugs** : hhhhnnnng

 

 **pugs not drugs** : rruruka whats the bad news? D:

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : so i just infiltrated the Super Dorm Chat

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : which, by the way, is very bad

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : and it turns out it wasn’t any of them that stole the aphrodisiacs

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : but it was actually monokuma

 

 **briarlight** : I KNEW IT

 

 **briarlight** : WHAT DID I SAY

 

 **briarlight** : listen it was totally obvious

 

 **Ultimate Little Sister** : ugh that stupid bear again

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : okokok

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : BUT

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : pls confirm this for me ruruka

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : did my brother end up fucking that pink haired mother fucker

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : hm?

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : oh yeah lol

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : gggsgggdgdggd

 

 **makoto nijima** : yay natsumi is dead

 

 **makoto nijima** : i killed her

 

 **wow its bakugo bnha** : technically, it was fuyuhiko and kazuichi that killed her

 

 **makoto nijima** : I ghost killed her

 

 **super high school level dumbass** : quit telling people im dead!

 

 **makoto nijima** : sometimes,,,, i can still hear her voice,,,,,

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : hey hey

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : so monokuma spiked the punch

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : but is that really bad news?? we already knew the punch was spiked

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : so whats the real bad news?

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : i was gonna get to that

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : before i was INTERRUPTED,

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : the headmaster gave him the permission to pull that prank

 

 **i hate this fucking family** : HHHHH????????

 

 **briarlight** : ….why

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : in exchange for 2 things

 

 **wow its bakugo bnha** : i don’t think im gonna like this

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : he has to oversee end of the year exams

 

 **i hate this fucking family** : UGH

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : ohno

 

 **wow its bakugo bnha** : frick

 

 **hatsune pinku** : i don’t deserve this

 

 **holy shit its fucking kirishima bnha** : DANGIT

 

 **team mom** : NO FUCKING SWEARING YOU’RE JUST A CHILD

 

 **takeout sashimi yucky maroo** : kanon,,,,,,

 

 **briarlight** : honestly? could be worse

 

 **pugs not drugs** : yyeah :(

 

 **makoto nijima** : wait, you said there were two things??

 

 **makoto nijima** : whats the other thing?

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : oh yeah

 

 ***SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops** : he has to teach homeroom for a month

 

 **pickle monaca** : h

 

 **pickle monaca** : wait

 

 **pickle monaca** : he what

 

 **i hate this fucking family** : welp

 

 **i hate this fucking family** : good luck monaca

 

 **takeout sashimi yucky maroo** : LMAO

 

 **pickle monaca** : WAIT

 

 **pickle monaca** : FRICK FRICK FRICK

 

 **pickle monaca** : THAT’S MY FAVOURITE CLASS HE CANT D

 

 **holy shit its fucking kirishima bnha** : rest in spaghetti,,,,

 

 **hatsune pinku** : never forgetti,,,,

 

 **pickle monaca** : SHUT UP

 

 **pickle monaca** : I CNT BELIEVE THIS

 

 **michealangelo ninja turtles** : guys we’re gonna be late

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : oh shoot

 

 **you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide** : yeet bye

 

 **_you can naruto run but you cant naruto hide_ ** _went offline_

 

 **pickle monaca** : DON’T JUST LEAVE ME TO SUFFER

 

 **pickle monaca** : @everyone

 

 **_1 person_ ** _is online_

 

 **pickle monaca** : I HATE YOU ALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow new dorm  
> if it isn't clear yet, meet the loyalty dorm!!
> 
> Yuta Asahina- Ultimate Track and Field Champion (you can naruto run but you can’t naruto hide)  
> Kanon Nakajima- Ultimate Sports Team Leader (team mom)  
> Takemichi Yukimaru- Ultimate Biker (takeout sashimi yucky maroo)  
> Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Pharmacist (pugs not drugs)  
> Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Confectioner (*SSCHLLLLLORRP* mm i love lollipops)  
> Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Blacksmith (wow look its bakugo bnha)  
> Miaya Gekogahara- Ultimate Therapist (briarlight)  
> Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Animator (anime twink)  
> Komaru Naegi- Reserve Course (Ultimate Little Sister)  
> Natsumi Kuzuryu- Reserve Course (super high school level dumbass)  
> Sato Kemuri- Reserve Course (makoto nijima)  
> Masaru Daimon- Ultimate Athlete (holy shit its fucking kirishima bnha)  
> Kotoko Utsugi- Ultimate Actress (hatsune pinku)  
> Jataro Kemuri- Ultimate Sculptor (michelangelo ninja turtles)  
> Monaca Towa- Ultimate Homeroom (pickle monaca)  
> Nagisa Shingetsu- Ultimate Social Studies (i hate this fucking family)
> 
> k so, to be clear, here are a few notes regarding this:
> 
> -Sato doesn't have a canon last name so i just made her Jataro's older sister. Why? cause i feel like it why not  
> -Natsumi, Sato, and Komaru are from the Reserve Course  
> -Miaya still has her wheelchair but she isn't totally quiet like she is in the anime  
> -Izayoi and Ruruka aren't in a relationship  
> -Obviously, Ruruka isn't a manipulative bitch to Seiko  
> -Masaru, Monaca, Kotoko, Jataro, and Nagisa aren't children, but they are in their first year of Hope's Peak  
> -Natsumi, Takemichi and Yuta are also in their first year of Hope's Peak  
> -The kids also don't have their tragic backstories  
> -Jataro still wears his mask tho, just because he likes it  
> -Monaca isnt a little, despair loving shit and she doesn't have her wheelchair  
> -Ruruka, Seiko, Izayoi, Miaya and Kanon are in their third year, meaning 1 year above dr1, sdr2 and drv3  
> -I had trouble coming up with some of their talents yeet  
> -Kanon isn't in love with Leon don't worry
> 
> OOOF now thats out of the way  
> I hope you like this! If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!


	16. And Now, Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Homosexuality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's pride month motherfuckers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im here again
> 
> this chapter is WAAAAYYY longer than usual (33 pages) so enjoy! :D

\---Friday, June 1st, 1:01am---

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT FFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKING MMMMMMMMONTH IT IS

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : it’s midnight, so it is technically june. right?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : YEP

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : U KNOW WHAT THAT MEAAAANSSSS

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : PRIDE MONTH MOTHER FUCKER

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL FUCKINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 

 **kaegay** : NICE NICE

 

 **_i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep_ ** _is online_

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : GUYS PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : WAIT

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **nyahh :3** : oh man kokichi just beat tenko to announcing pride month

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : IMPOSSIBLE

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : big homosexual vs big lesbian

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : uhh whats the opposite of solidarity

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : mlm/wlw disagreement

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : discord

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : divorce????

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : its ok take ur time

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : are we all here?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : @everyone

 

 **_9 people_ ** _are online_

 

 **_ass ass in_ ** _is online_

 

 **ass ass in** : you better have a valid excuse for having woken me up this early

 

 **kaegay** : PRIDE MONTHHHH

 

 **ass ass in** : ah. understandable

 

 **_mother hates all of you but kaede_ ** _is online_

**_yaint goin tuh heaven_ ** _is online_

**_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _is online_

**_instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster_ ** _is online_

**_i stuck my dick in an anthill once_ ** _is online_

**_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _is online_

**naruto is my senpai** : that’s everybody!!!

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : whyd you need to wake us up? *yawn* its so early…

 

 **nyahh :3** : d

 

 **nyahh :3** : did you just yawn over text

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : himiko ive literally watched you write essays and type in *yawn* every time you yawned while writing

 

 **nyahh :3** : shush

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : to answer your question, I’m making pride stuff for everyone!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : bandanas, ties, tshirts, scarves, hoodies yadda yadda

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i need yall to tell me what flag and what item you want!!

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : …at 1am?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : yeah well I wont rlly have time to talk with you guys since we separate a lot and since we all here i thought why not!!!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : okay so…. start with kokichi

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : i want a gay flag bandana. gay glasses. gay pants. gay shirt. gay hat. g

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : i don’t have time for all of that but ill do the bandana!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okokk coolcool

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : fresh out of the closet look

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : JSHGAKJHGFDTYUJHSGFDRTAYUJHGFDSZ

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : shuichi!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : bi flag scarf plz

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : hell yeah my man

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : keebo!

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : ah, well, i’d appreciate an agender scarf, if possible :)

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : you got it! miu?

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TF GOING ON

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : PANSEXUAL CROP TOP BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : NICENICE

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ryoma?

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : gay/ace flag scarf, if you can do two in one

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ofc!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : tenko wbu

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : do you even have to ask

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : lesbian/trans tshirt BLZ

 

 **nyahh :3** : valid valid valid valid

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : and himiko?

 

 **nyahh :3** : lesbian/ace tshirt :))

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : yepyep

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : angie!

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i will be matching with miu! :D

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : k!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : hell yes power couple

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : kaitoooo

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : hmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, bi tshirt

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : goodgood!! kaede!

 

 **kaegay** : HHH

 

 **kaegay** : lesbian shirt bich

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : hell ye

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : mom

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : the same.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ha gay

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : hey maki

 

 **ass ass in** : bi scarf

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ok! gonta!

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : ah, gonta not sure… gonta does not understand all the flags. but gonta loves everybody!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ah, i understand!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : hmmm

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : how about a pan scarf? :D

 

 **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** : ok! :D

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : pure

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : oi gucci

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : pan bandana, please.

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : yepyep! rantaro?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : would you like a gay tshirt? :33

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : would I?!

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : would you?

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : _would I?!_

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : **_would you?_**

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : **_W  O  U  L  D    I  ?  !_**

****

**naruto is my senpai** :   **_W̷̢̬͉̅ ̶̤̳̽̌͠ ̴̹̓ ̶̼̫̠͍̈́ ̷̹̉̉̈́ ̸̡̜̌͊̽̚ ̷͈̺͙̈̋ͅ ̶̻̋͝ ̴̡̛̤̐͆͑ͅ ̵̱̱̙̳̂ ̸͕̣̔͆̚ ̸̡̛͇̫͛̒O̷̡̜͇̍̈́͘ ̵̪̹͛̔ ̶̠̓ͅ ̸̜̰͍̈́̊ ̶̨̜̜͖̄́͝ ̵͖̰͚̋ ̵̢̛̠̯̱̍ ̷̰͖̰̐͊͛͊ ̴̼̑̈́̐ ̶͍͕̘̒͌̈́ ̶͇͇̅́̉̒ ̸̼̠̐ ̷̮͐̊̆͘ ̵̻̟̅̂ ̵͍̣̘̋͂͜ ̵̧̛̺͉͆̾͗ ̶̞̋U̵̮͕̕ ̷͖̞̾̓ ̶̧̣̑́̈́̚ ̸̡͉͓̺̑ ̴̧̠̮̓͜͝͝ ̵̘̭̊ ̴̹̣̇ ̷̰͕͉̞̓̌͠ ̶͎̅͐ ̶̣̻̯̦̇̾̈̎ ̵̠͕̓̏̎̍ ̶̦̥͇̣͗͒ ̷̨͉̻̕ ̴̭̳̅̽͘͝ ̵̞̩̝͓̇͒͂L̸̨̳͈̏͆̇͜ ̶̛̲̈́̒̓ ̴̥̜̆͑͆ ̶̱͆͐̃̿ ̴̥͔̽͆̔ ̵̧̗̬̝̌̀̈́̌ ̶͓ ̷̨̒ ̵͖̟̏͗̀ ̷̨̪̘͊ ̷̱̳̥̓̇̈̚ ̴͈̝͐ ̶̪̝͙͑ ̷̡͔͎͍̅͘ ̸̖̪͖̐̕͜D̷͎̲̈̏̑̚ ̴̛̣ ̶͚̩̈́͋͠ ̴̜̱̈́́ͅ ̶̢͎͑ ̶̝̫̿̚ ̷͚̪̖̉̆ ̴͖̈ ̵̼̩̫͉̓͝ ̷͓̭͔̎̌̓͑ͅ ̴̟̪͔̖̍̆̚ ̴̫ ̵̺͔̹̼̐͛ ̶̧͙̘̮̂͘ ̸̼̬͍̉͝ ̵̠̩̱͕̾̏ ̶̧̮̺́͆ ̸͓̟̹͍̍ ̴̣̳̯̙̏̈́̽́ ̸̦̯̀ ̷͖͍̓ ̵̖͎̦̻̿ ̶̱̹͒̎͝ ̶͈̬͔̎͌͝ ̴̢̨͚̀ ̷̤͂̌̇ ̵̮̮̔́̒̃ ̷͈̼͗̎̑̑ ̸̪̣̄́̃̌͜Y̴̭͍̹͌ ̶̢̭̹̃͘͝ ̷͍̻͔̠̓͒͐́ ̵̤̍͜ ̸̬̾ ̷̹͋̉̊ ̶̠̠̕ ̴̡͚̰̬͂̓ ̶͖͋͋͐ ̵̨̛̲̥͐͊͝ ̴̜̗͇̓́ ̴̯̉͋͂ ̴̙̲̰̟̿ ̸̳͚̥̄̉͘ ̸̭̈́ ̸̤̱̲̑͗̃̿ ̶̧̣͕̅̔̓͑ ̶̨̨̯̞͌O̷̩̊̆ ̴̪͇͐ ̴̡͑̒̋͝ ̶̢̎ ̵̧̨̲̝͐͋̓̃ ̴̛͕̤̖̾̃͂ ̶̟́̉̚ ̷͙̎̉͘͝ ̵̧̡͉̟͛̆͒̀ ̷̼̳̼͘ ̴̲̹̱̿͜ ̸̗͉̽̄̄ ̷͈̆̊̂ ̴̧̞͓͊̚ ̵̡͘͜ ̸̗̝͉͗̍̈́̃ ̵̥̾̈ ̶̡̮͙̓ ̸̗͍̟̀̐̅ ̷̳̆̏ ̸̻͂̑͒͜͜ ̴̧̻̠̓͒̋̇ ̷̯͈͆̏̅̄ ̵̫̰̃͜ ̶̘̣͉̊͒ͅU̵̳̠̽̚ ̷̢̙͊̉ ̸̰̞̉̋̄͜ ̵̨̹̬͎̍͊͘?̵͓͛̈́͛_**

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : _W̸̡̧̢̼̫̠̫͓̣̜̱͈̩̗̲̰͑̉̍͒͌͌͂̊̕͘͜͝ **̧̨̲̺̤̻̝̹̳͕̮͚̻̗͉̦͚̣̰͓̰̫̬̲̗̠͎̜̘͍̞̪̤̜̳̭̲̤͜͜͜ ̴̡̢̨̨̨̢̛̖̗͇̯̗̤̺̦̪̠̘̗͓̼͔̝͕͍̜̮̳̤̗̩̦̯̱̰͉̰͎̭̭͓̳̰̙̻͎̳̑͗̇̊̈́̓͋̂͊̏͐̋̎̍̈́̌͂̑̈́̾͐̑̈́͌͗̄̉̄͋̀̌͗̔̀̌͒͐͑͛͒̀̅̀̃͐̔̃́̓̌̑̈́͒̒̈́̇̒͑͗̅͒͒̅̕̚͘̕͘͜͝͝͝͝͝͠ͅ ̷̛̤͉̣̬͙̞̝̻͓͖̺̺͔̙̘̩̹̑̆̏̀́͊̌̀͋̈̿̆͊̍͊̂̕̚͝ͅ ̶̡̧̨̧̧̨̛̛̣̦͍̪̘̻̮̭͉̤͔̮̰̬͚͓̣̰̻̺͎̮̺̩̬̻͍͚͖͇͕̠͔̪̖̤͍̟̩̜̗̻̥͈̮̫͉͔̻̯̬̪̋̔̽͒̏̃͋͌̈́̉̃̾̿̾̉̂̒͛̔̃̏̈́͋͛́̌́̒̒͆̔̑̅̊͆̄̓̇̓͌͘̕̚͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̨̢̧̢̢̢̧̨̧̧̛̭̱͔͈̠͓͈͚̬͖͓̩̫̲̬̘͙̝̼͈͍̰̘͍̟̥͚͓̰̼̺͓̤̫̬̦̠̯̝̮͖͔̝̲̣̫͉̞̩̤̜̻̌͑͗͒̔̂͋̃̔̉̈́͌̅̓̈̂͋̍͐͂̕̚͘͘̚͘͘͜͠͝ͅͅ ̷̧̨̢̢̡̛̻͎̘͍̲͎̱̤̠̻̙̯͓̺̠͚̰̱͕͙̪͓͎̹̜̳̜̗͍͎͔̯͉̩͕͓̗͖͙͉͑̄̓̿̃͊̊͆̌̌͐̄̔͋̄̏͑̾͋͂̌̔͒̈́̿̐̉̉̎̎͌͛̎̉͋̓̐̄̽̌̍̾̌̃̎͑̾̄̾̊͆͘̚̚̕͘͜͠͝͠ͅͅ ̷̨̛͉͈͔̜̮̘̜̲͎̩͔̟͖̰̖̰͈̤̘͕̻̭̝̗̱͇̞̖͙̭͉͓̹̣̟̲̻̫͉̤̖͖͇͕͖̬͕̠͙̲̞͙̹͈̗̫͍͓̑̐̋͂̅͋̏̎̋̄̈́͂͋̏̈̓̉̽͑͗͋͗͗͗̀̎̂͋̓͛̽̔̀̇̇̄̒̈͌́̒̎̑͒̏͘͘̕̚͜͝͠͠͝͠͝͝ͅ ̷̨̨̧̨̡̨̨̢̧̨̧̛̛̛̖͚̥̳̝̪̻͕̝̪͉͍̝̤̰̳̬̹͍͈͓̻̫̞̭͎̜̻̗̝̦͕͇̺͔͙͇̳̩̙̺̯͎̘̞͉̠͍̬͚̻̰̥̤̮̝̣̪̋̾͋͛̉̇͗͒͐̓͊͒̈́̾͆́͗̎̄̂̿́̆̿̎̋̍̀̂̀̓̈́͌͑̌͐̒̈́̈͑̚͠͝͝͠͝ ̵̭̘̺̩̙̟̠̼̖̤̫͈̞̖̖͕͈̜̤̜͇͎̅̓͌̓͜͜͠ ̴̧̢͙̻͓͕̩̗͈̦̱̣͈͔̗͔̩̜̝͔̜̪̠̯̲͕̱͔̮̤̹̰̳̱̺͗̃͋̆͛̈́͌̊͒̿̋̈́̏͂̅̔͊̃̅͑̐̾̈́̓̂͊̐͗̆̓͘̚̚͘͜͜͜͠͠ ̷̧̡̛̼͎̰̗̞̤̟͖͇̼̹̜̜̗̹̱͎̳̜̞̺̺̻͖̗̲̱͓̘̞̱̯̺̺͍̮͈͍̝͕͔͔̫͔̗̜̬̳̮̏́̐̔̈́̅͌̇̄̓͗̈̇͋́̋̈́̊͌̆͛͑͘̚̚̕͘̚̚͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͝ͅ ̸̧̧̜̹̲̭͔̠̫̮̠̰̲̆̓͒̆̍̓̍̈̅͑̐́̓̔͌̌̕͜͝͝ͅO̴̡̨̡̧̢̧̧̡̡͇̣̦̮̭͓͉̦̥̮͓͕̯̫̬̼̻͖̞̹̣̜͔̣̯̣̲̲̪̯̲̳͈̮̙̠̻̻̩̬͍͈͚̹̦̘̣͚̹̼̙̤͚̬̠̠̫̯͈͕͙̝̭̔͛̏̇̐̈́̃̉̐̃̍͛̀̈́͆̽͊̿̓͐͗̏̈́̓͑͐̍͑͘͜͜ͅ ̸̡̨̧̡̢̛͖̗̬̹̻̭̗͕͔̭̦͚̼͖̱̙̠͈̲̼̭͖̥̳̲͈̻̮̮̹̼͚͎̪͕͖͍̳̮̠̠͔̖̱̜̺̼̼̫̰̟͔̳̯͈̲͇͂͗͒̒̾͌̋͛̑̋̌̋͐̈̈́͐̈́̋̓͆͐͋̿͛͐͊͐̀̂́͊̍͒͂̏͘͘͜͝͠ ̶̨̧̧̨̛̛̲̹̣̖̗̼̙͈̠͔̼̞͓̯̳̦̖̱͐͌͒͗̈́͋̽̄̽͒̌̉̌̇͂͋͋̓̈́͂͂̾̋̅̃͑̑̾̿̾̓̾͂͛͆̓̌́͂̚͜͜͠͠͠͝͝ ̷̢̨̨̤̩̪̺̗͍̤̣̦̰͇̬̥͕̮͇͉͖̤͚͉̦̫͖̞̺͖̦̼̣̘̲͙̬͖̜̺͔̯̞̐̊̅͑̈́̈́́͛͆̀̋͑̓̇̎̉̃̉͘̚͜͜͜͝͝ͅ ̵̢̡̧̧̧̡̢̛̛͙̘̤̜̞̬̜͎̺̱̖̬͇̙͍̯̟̭̪͍͔̜̜͈͚͖̲͇̫͔̜͖̖̺͇̭̯̮̯͙̠͚̱͉͍̗̭͍̮̄͊͊̏́̏̉́͐̒̉̽̄̿͌͂͋̀̈́̃̃͑͒̈́̈̍͋̍̓̇͂̆͒̇̋͋̒̾̃̽̓͗͒̍͊̾̂̂̇̌̂͛̍̔̐͊̚̚͘̚͜͝͝͠ ̸̨̢̨̢̢̡̢̗͔̞͈̯̣̯̣̰͇̖̝͖̺̩̬̗̘̭͓̹͕̘͓̤̣̦̣̻̮͖̲̫̩̠͕͓̣̦̦͎̝̯̼̣͚̰̖͍̪̺͓̣̣̹͍̓͒̓̏͜͝ͅ ̶̨̡͇̗͓͔̦͍̩̀̃̄̓̌̎̾̂̿̉̾̓̂̿̈́̌̽͌̔̈́͒̎̒̽͒͐̓̉̇̅̂̅͒̋͌̑͌͗̾̑̈́͐̐́̑̅͗̆̈́̓̿̿͆͆̐̓̍͊̏͊͒̔̈́̐͘̚͘̕̚͜͝͝͠͠ͅ ̶̨̨̛̛̻͇̹͇͇̩̗͚̗͍͕̪̝͖̖̫̯̙̯͎̠̜̻̎̿͂͐͌̄̎̓̊͆̄̉̔̀̈́̓̅̽͊̓͊̒͗̓́̂̒̆̎̑̍̓͑͗̈́̂̿͌̽͌͂̿̑͊̾̋̀̾͆̃̌̉̄̅͘̕͘̚̚͝͝͠͠͠͝ ̶͖̙͈͈͉̻̪̺͔̪͙̼̖̝̜̩͚̞͕̺̤̖̰̱̭̜̺̼̭̦̦͕̭̑̓͌̐̾͐̈́͑̇̀̍̍̈́͗́̈͗̋̔̎͋͊̿̽̅̋͐͗̂́̔̃̅̃̎̃̈́̇̂̏̽̑̈́͋̉́̉̉̍̑̆́̀͗̽̓͑̐̏̉̕͘̚͘̕͝͠ͅ ̸̧̨̛̱̺̳̞͓̳̯̬̗̦̖͔̤̙̘̭̼͔͕̫͖̞̳͆̃͐̓̉̿̊̈́̈̃͗͂͑̏͋͋̐̿͐̑̚̕͠ͅ ̵̡̧̧̧̛̱̱͇͖͍̗̙͚̩̗͈̠̥͎̘̪̯̮̳̺̭̯̠̭͇̪̯̯̦̟͙̩͈̩͇͕̜͔̖̺̘̜̣̬̙̪͈͎̮͙̐̓̎͊̇̽̍̾͗̉̈́̎̌̅̒̓͑̈́́͋̃̾͊͑͋̓͊̾̋̓̊̌̀̽̂̍͂̇̌͑̀͐͒͌̂͗̐̅̈̆̃́́̉͌͊͋͆͛̅͊̑̀͂̚͘̚͜͜͜͜͝͝͝ͅ ̸̧̬͔̤̹͓̮̻͕̪͎̘͍̱̮̘̘̭̖̻̲̖̍̾̈́͑̉̓͋̅͐̈̆̒̊͗̋̌͗͗͂̇̋̒̾͐͆̇̓͋̕̚̕͜͝͠͝͝ͅ ̴̡̡̡̡̢̨̨̧̢̡̨̙̞̫̰̼̲̠͚̱̖̠̺͙͍̮̤̜̭̼̗̞̟̱̲̜͔͎̰̲̩̜̗̩̲̼͖̻͎̹̲̤̺̞͇̝̝̭͇̤̼̩̺̣̳͓͈̙͌̓͛̀͋̋̂̍͒͛̈͊̓̈̓͑̿͋͗̈̏̿̀̅̿͗̈́̊̀̐̀́͛͆̽͊͆̔̎̈́̅̍̈́͊͆̅̌͗̅̅͛̈́̆͑̓͒̌͋̋̒̌͋̋͆͗͌̆̃͘͘͘̚͜͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ ̴̛̛͕̻͖̠̯̭̳̖̩̩͖̝̩̥͎͑̐̽͗̄̍͛͑͌̾̐̀̀̾͊̌͌̅̐̽̒͋́͐͌̅͒́̈́̈́̅̍̆͘̚̚͘͝ ̴̧̢̨̬̫͇͈͓͍͍̹̼̟͈̘͕̝̘͉̹͖̤͉̹͎͙̠͔̳̮̟̏̑̾̎̃̋̏̆͂́́̆̾̊̄͗̋͆̽͊̈́͗̄̈̀̍̇̇̿̌̐̋̆̋͂͗̀̏̊͊͐̆͋̑̈́̉̚̕̚͝͠͠͝ ̴̡̨̨̛̼̺̤̟̱̝̣̲̫͉̯̜̟̗̜̖̝̲̞̟͉͖̻̘̮̫͎̈́̀̽͗̋̑̌̎̌͐̽̽͒̀͐͋̄̃̋͆̎͗̃̽̏͂̇̒̀͊͛̾̌̀̏̏̽̏͆̂̈́͐̏̃́̃́̉̈́͂̌̀͐̓̇͆͂̽̕͘͘̕̕̚͘̕̕͘̚͜͝͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̥͖̝͎͓̱̣̟̒̿͐͘Ư̴̡̡̡͖̗̺̺̺̺̼̗͍̖̲̬̺͇͖͓͓̟͕̭̟̜̭̗̬̗͎̺͖̱̠̗̪̞̘̺̳̲͚̝̣͔̖̗̫̪̫̱̣̜͍͉̞̲̼̠̣̺̰̳̦͍͔͚̫̩͈̥͉͉͉̙̟̈͂͑̈́̂̔̾̅͗̉̓̒̈́̾̄̔̑͊̈̃̋̋͂̈́̑̌̽̎̒͋͛̄͆͗̌̉̅̈͑̓̈͛̑͛̎̅̆̍̊̋́̎͒́̍̈́̓̏̈́͘̚̚͘͠͝͠ͅͅ ̸̡̧̢̛̛̛͖͇͙̤̩͈͚̘͔̼͍̹͍͙͔̰̗̞̝͚̲͕̩̞͔͓̟͖̟̟̱̤̱̻̬̍͗͐̈́͋͐̽̾͂̍̄͒̔̈́͆͆̈̂̌́̇̀̌̐̎̈̔̐͌̍̑̑͆̊́̂͐͒̅̆̃̚̚̕̕̕͘̕͝͠͠͝ͅ ̴͕̲̥̩̲̳̗͚͔̺̹͎͔͔͛̀͆͆͗͊̒͛́̈̽̑̋̾͋̀́̂͒̍̽̾̊̾̋̒̈́͆̇͛͌̏̈́͑͛́̋̈́̐̿̅̈́̋̎̕͘͜͜͠͝͝͠͝ ̷̧̡̛̹̯̺̖̮̬͍̣̪̟̖̪̣̭̻̩̭̬̜̙̀͑̐͂͐͌̑͑̄̈̆̍̽́̈́͛̈́̃̄͂̍̄̓̋̆̓͒̊͑̐̑̉̃̐̔̐̇̉̾̋̈̅̄͊͂̍͛̅̔̄͂͆̅̌͗͊̓̃̔̈͌̋̃̓̋͗͘͘̚͜͝͝͝͠͝ ̷̡̧̧̛̛̙͖̰̼̼̗̰̮̲̱̝̩̻̣͉̗͖͙̬̭͉̫̣̙̫̞̲̯̜̻̦̏̂̍͆̓̇̊̀̊̇͐̊͌̆̍̈́͊̆̆̉͒̿͒͛̂̾̎̾̽̀̅͆͗̃̔̆̍̃̽͊̉̕͘̚̕̕͜͝͝͠͝ͅͅ ̷̢̛̲͈͈̜̖̣̘͒̊̂̈́͗͋̉̊̾͛̐̿͌̄̈̓͛́̀̀͠ ̷̢̢̨̛̛̛͚͙̟͎̪̥̗̪̜͈̜̜̺̲̪̮̞̠͍̺̥̤̠͉͐͗̆̒̉͑͆̌̃̈̂̋͌͂́̈̈́̀̋̀̚̚͜͜͝͝͠ ̴̡̨̡̢̢̛̳͓̫̭̩̱̰̙̤̰̲̭͚̭͚̣̟̲̤͉̠͍͉̩̼͕̣̘͉͙̳͈̳͎̘͎͙͖͇̠̼̯̳̤̗̦̭̳͓̘̪͖̺̠̠̻̳̲͕͇̺̫̜̲͖̰̞̜̯͙͈̭̍̈́̄̿̆̀̔̒̀̄͐̀͌̊͊̈́̿͂̇̇͐̌̊̏͐̄͌͆̃͂͊̌̿̎̆̏̔̾̌̈́̒̐̈̒̿͑́͒̄̓̋͒̈́̄̊̐̇̑͑̔̕͘͜͝͠͝ ̷̢̛̛̛̛̩̗̭̰̼͙̱͌̈́͂̽́̄͆̌̉̋̌͂͗͑͂͑̽̍̌͋̽̽͌̈̄̐͌̾̉̑͆͑͌̆͑̏͌͐̑̎̾̇̽̅̽͑͑͊̈̍͛̕̚͘͘̚̕̕̕͠͝͝͝͝ ̵̹͈̬͚̤͙̯̥͖̠̬̲̦͒̊̌͛͆̾̑̃͛͒̾̔̔͐̈̓̽̐͆̈́̓͐͗̐̋̑̑̈́͗̓͒̑̌̽̋͊̇̈́̑́̂̓̓́̇̓͐̾̾̾͊̂͊̓͛̏̃͌͂̕̚̚̕͝͠͝͝ͅ ̷̧̧̧̧̥̞̦̠̹̝͚̦̳̮̻͇̭̖͕̼̩̰̩̼̘̝͍̭̮̞̘̘̮̹̯̯̘̗̮̣̰̙̦̜̹̩̲̱̻̪̮̠̙̤̩̦̯̤͚̯͕̪̬͔͓̗͍͗̂̎͜͜ ̷̢̧̡̢̢̨͈̺̠̰̘̙̦̳̺̼̩̩͓̱̦͔͇̰͍͈͇̹̬̤̱̪̗̞̟̲̻̝͍̼͈̟̙̱̗͙̺̘͉̝̤̲̩͖̈̋̉͑̃̋̆͐̾̍̇̿͊̈͐̔͂̌̓̅̅̈̕̚͜͜͜͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̡̡̨̢̡̡̧̡̛̛̲̥͕̠̩̩͈̯͔͓̬̦̘̺̭̙̖̟̯̟̲̝̯̤͚̪͉̻͔̮̻̱̟̜̤̤̗͎̮̯̥̻̺̜̖̹̮̻̝̞͓̲̬͚̜͙̘̭̙͇͛͊̈́̓̾͋̇̑̈́̂̐̅͒͋̉͋̑̋̔̍̓́͆͂̑̎̽̈̄̾͋̆͑̄͐̒͌̎͐̂̋̍̏͊͌͊͗́͌̄̅̓͑̈́͗̇̓͗͊̓́̏͆̽̅̀͘̚͘̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠͠ͅ ̶̛͕̌̋͐̈͑͗́̃̈͊̎̂͌̽̓͋̿̇̅͛̇̃̅̿̀̀̈́̆͒̍̽̅̈́̐̈́̓̓͋͒͑̚̚͠͝ ̵̧̢̨̧̢̡̧̨͍̗̙͉̮͓̻̹͇̹̲̤̫̠͇̠͉̰͇̜͈͇̼̻͉̬͔͔̺̱̠̠͍͔͖̤̣̱͇̤̱͙͖̝͓͓̻͎͚̱̮̱͈̗̪̘̼̬͎̖̲̉̎̓͐͂̾͆̀͌̍̿̚͜͝͠L̶̢̨̧̡̛̥̹͎͕̜̫̺̙̫̲̮͙̦̯͉͕͓̖̘̟͖̺̤̉͐̋͐͒̔̾͆̆̍̌̏̔̏͗̔̏̉͐̄̀̂͋̎̈́̃̀̓̎̅̎̂̍̄̓͌̐̓̃̏̔̇̋̄̾̌̎̋̄̓̄̊͘̚͘͘͜͝͝͝͠͠ͅ ̷̧̡̨̜̫̺̹̮̦̼̜͙͍̯͉͎̹̜̲͉̭̥͔͙͎̰̭̤̝̦̰̜̮̩̭͓̞͖̬̟̠̅̌͒͂̌̈́̽͊̑͗̏̈͛̍͊̇͗͌̒̂̈́̈͊͂̔̂̌̽̆͗̈́́̑͑̒͑̏̽̇́̿̂̏͋͒̄̂́̑̈̓̚̕̕͘͝ͅ ̷̧̨̡̡̛̛͚̬̮̞͉̮̤̰̼̟͖̺̱͇̹͕̞̼̬͍̟̩̟͕̦̜̟̃̏̓͂͆̔̂̊̈́͌̈́̈́͌̉̿̈́͒̀͋͋̊̇̊̈̂̂̀̎̈́̌̈̓̏͛̂̄̅̊̓̋̑̾͆̊̂̉͆̍͆̕͘̕͜͝͝͠͠ͅͅ ̸̢̛̺̞̠̗̯͍̗̦͉͚̼̫̪͚̗̜̗̃̓̊̿̇̋̔̑̽̂̒̒̐͒̑̽̈̔̇̄̃̋̌̈͊̇̋͌̄̔̎̓̓͌͒̏͌̆̇̉͑̅̔͗̐̕͘̕̚͝ ̴̛̞̱̱̲̠̱̺̖͂̆͆͂̑̎͋̄̓̋̎̏͊̎̈́̀̐̍̔͊̉͑̔̈́̇͌̿̈́̅̒̆͗̈̈̄̈́̍̈̄̎̆͐͋̓̌̿̉̋͂͒̿̑͊̎̃̏͛͑͘͘̕͘̕͝͝͝͝͝ͅ ̵̢̢̣̩̺̻͙͔̭̣̭̝̼̒̒ ̸̢̧̧̢͖̫͎̩̻͚͇̤̙̖̲̤͉̖̖͙͙͕͔̖̝͙̹͖̟̠̥̗̺̤̱̭̙͚͙͎̪͓̪͊͗̾̿́͑̔͊͌̆̍̈͋͒̈́̕͠͝͠͝ ̷̡̡̡̢̛͇̠̩̻̫̰̟̺̳͇̰̘͓͚̘̙̫̟̭̻̤̻̟̝̟̫̼̖͎̳̹̻̥̣͚̏͐̿͗̂͌͋͗̿̄͌̊̔̉̔̑̅̔̂̔̇̍̂͂̈́̀̀̓͗͑̔̄̃͌̃̽̂̒̈́̐̆̉̑̆͂́̌͗̒̔̓̇͐̅̃̕͘̚͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅ ̶̧̨̢̡̡̢̡̧̺̦̪̪̪̝̟̰̝̭̯̬̮͎̠̥̬̬̗͙͎̫̞̗̞̳̺̙̞̪̥̭̬̜̝̖̲̥͕̥̥̠̘̪͉̤̩̹͖̯̪͖̹̙̼̳̰̙͎̥̗̯̱͔͂̈́̽̒̾̊̃̄͌͋͑̓̽̂̅̊̉̕͜͜͜͜ͅ ̴̢̛̙͙̻̉͂̀͑̐̏̊̈̒̿̅̄͛̓͗͌͐̍̽̊̈́̂̅̍̈́͗̎̈́͗̈̈̔̍͑͛̄̓̅̽͂̅͐̆̎̌͂̂̅͘͘͘̕̚̚ ̴̧͚̥̜̪̠͉̜͎͙̻̜͚͍͓̮̠̬̮͚̰͇̰̮̭̗͖̱̭̪̻̦̗̟̫͍̙͖͍̠̤̰̪̲͔̖̤͚͚͓̱̳͎̼̬̣͓̰̅͌̍̽̆̄̿̉̃͆̒̈̐͛̈̿̒̓͋̋̓̎̎̈́̎̈͐̑͒̍̉͒̓̈́̆̈́̎͐̿̂̓̈́͊̂͆͐͊̏̈͗͋̇̀͆̚͘̚͘̚̚͜͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅ ̴̨̧̢̧̻̖̺̤͚̯̝̪̫̞̬͎̰͉̳̮̝̞̙̼̟͚̫̜͙̫͇͇̫͍̰̼̺̠̟͈̘̳̪̗̥̗͚̼̜͕͎̠̰̘̠̃̆̂́̑͑͑̎͌͋̿̊͋͆̇̐̓͂͊͆͆͘̚̕͘̚͜ͅͅ ̷̧̠͔͕͚͖̮̇͑͐̋̿͋̈̀͋̅͐̒̄͒̔̽̈́̏̎̒͛͛̌͛̈̇̏̽͌̃̇̇̇͊̐͛̆̉͠͝͝ͅ ̵̧̨̛̜͙̯̖̫͉̙̯̞̪̠̟͖̰͈̤̭͕̭̦̟̜̦̥̜͉̝͍̿̌͐̔̓̒̽̈́͜ͅ ̴̢͙̟̫̹͕̙̯̖̬̫͈͕͙̳̈́̈́̋̉͒̐̓̔ͅD̷̡̨̢̡̧̡̢̡̧̡̨̧̧̨̛̬͔̖̬͚̯̗̻͍̼̣͍̮̭͉͇̞̰̮̠̰̟͇͕̫͎͚̗̳̰̻͉̪̺̳̪̦͙̖̣̬̤̞̥̖̭͇̜̺̹͖͙̺̠̭̩̰͇͔̝͉͆̉̂͑̎̃̆͆͆̀̾̃̿́̈̌̈́̔̇́͌̌̌̂̓̍͌͛̍̒̅͌́̍̓̃̽̊͆̊̇͗̿͐̄͋̂̐͆̅̈́͛̓̚̚̚͘͘̚͘͘̚͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅ ̴̜̹̘̱̗̝̯̣͉̘͉͎͈̗͍̳͙̹͉̮̲̦͖͖̗͈̖̪͓̘̘͑͆̾̉̄͆̑̄̽̉͐̈͒̓̈́̃͑͋̓̒̆̊͆̇̍̿̕ͅ ̷̨̧̨̢̛̺͉̩͕̯̮̬͓͍̲̯̫̭͈͎̱̯̝̗̮̗̜̪͙̩̙̞̮̮͖̥͓̗̜̭͉͙̜̺̱͈́̏̋̋̌̀͐̇̄̃̐̒͂̑̒̐̂͘ ̶̨̡̧̨̼̣̮̦̟̩̲̤̬̪̼̺͔̭̗̲̼̙͈̝̜̯̞̫̯͉͙͇̦̬̖̠͖̙̱̲̹̂̎̊̏̑̈́̓͐̍̄̇̒̓̊̓̒̌̑͐͆̆͗̊̉̃͗̍̑̿͗̓͆̇̀͑̋̇͒̽̃̉͑̈́͌͒͗̊͒̑̈́̓͐̉͗͆̾̉̂̒͗̋̄͑̍̊̒͘͜͝͠͝͝͝ ̵̨̡̡̧̡̡̛̣͕̮̥̟̳͔͚̼͍̖̪͚̘̻̺̮̩̘͇͖̳͕̯̺̳̣͎̙͉̳̝̞̪̘̱̮̦̥̮̪͔̤͙̻̲̼̇̿̉̅̄͐̑̒̅͊́̅̊̈́̓̄̓̋̓͂̓̄͐́̌̍͋̓̑̒̉̎̀͌̇̽̎͗͒͗͌̅͊͐̚̚͘̕͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̴̢̢̡̨̡̧̢̨̢̡̢̛̰͚̣̹̤̗̬̬̦̮̺̮͈̭̗̦̲̝̞̣̲̦̦̦̱̲̥̻̬͇͓̞̣͉̮̘̼͎̲̣̰͕͕̭͔̠̦͍̬̬̘͚̰̟̗̩̫̑̿̏͗̾͂͗̂̃̌͑̊̆͋̊̓͗̐̐̓̈́̓̅̔̉̅̑̿͐͌͋̿͌͋͂͒̓̔̾͌͛̇͐̄̊̌̿̍͌̋̇̔͒̒̑̌̅́̏͋̏̎̏͂̓̈́̔̏͋̕̕̚̚͜͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ ̴̢̢̨͚̲͓̠͓̻͍͓̤̻̖̭̟̤̱̹̱̺̩̱͔͍̘̬̯̠̙͚̥̖̦̤̳̠͖̤̹̹͎̺̫͔̭̗̦͈͖̱̖̰̰̟̺̱͈͍̖̰͈͎̱̗̩̤̦͇̭̣̥̘́̒̒͑̒͒̈̿̿͒͑̎̕͜͜ͅͅͅ ̷̨̨̢̭̮̣̩̰̖͎̺̼̹̣̘͚͈̞͖̼̲̻̠̪̝̙̪̥̫͙̯͚̈́̌̐͌̒̔͋͑̊́͐̊̒̐̓͑̊̈́̉̈̆̾̉́̽͆̋͆͗̋̚̕͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅ ̶̛̛̭̯̖̄̾̇̃̑̿̋͑̀͛̏̊̽̎̽͌̓͗͒̓̐̔̓̒͋̀̅̀͊̑͛̐͆̆͐̒̓̌͑͑̿̏̆̒̃̇̋̒̏̂͌̔͘͘̕͘̚̕̕̚͘̚͝͠͠͠͠ͅ ̶̡̧̧̨̛͇̬͙͍̻̼̟̙̝͈̣̜̣̱̹̦̙̙̩͇̩̤̼̞̝̰̱͓̩̬̜̘̪̗̓̏͛͊̋̽̌̒̆̐̾̎̉̅̎͋͛̽̎̄͆̾̓̾̓̐̀̂͘͘̕̚͜͜͜͝͠ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̧̨̡̛̛͚͓͇̗̫̤̘̩̲͎̻̱̙̩͎͉̺̪͖̩̟̯̭̟͚̥̲̤̤̻̗͕̬̲͈̟͕̱͚̜͉̰̜̭̬̠̐̽̅̎͌͌͋̈́̀̄̈́͒̉̈́̌̾̊͐̊̇̀̐̎͑̆̿͐͌̓̉̓̄̽͛͐̂̊̒̅̓̈́̿̉͗̋̆̄͋̔͗̃̎͋̽̑̓͘͘͘͘͜͠͝͝͝͝ͅ ̸̢̢̡̛͈̻͉̠̦̖͓̫͇̪̩͙͇͕̞͍̠͉̜̮͇̩͓͙͉̳̤̻̝̬̞̜͉̥͍̫̳̾͛̓̊̌̌͂̑͌̄̊͆͂̊͐̈́̊̍͒̄͐̃̐̏̓̆͊̐̈́̐̎̄̏̐͌̓͑̃̓̑̈́̏̃͘͘͘̕̕͘͝͠͝ ̴̨̡̢̺̲͔̣̱̖̪̟̳̜̲̯͓͈̝̫̖̯͚͓̟̼̟̭̺̮̥̤͍̤͎̞̫͎͇̩̯͕̣̘̣̯̞̯͍̳͕̦͖͔͉̈́̈́͊̾͒͒̐͋̋͆̄͒̓̑̊̋̄͑͛̏̈̽̊͑̒͂̈́͗̂͑͗̾̈́̑̊̾͛͋͑̕͝͝ͅͅͅ ̷̧̡̢̛͎̘͙̙͔̫͕̭̜̱̹͕̘͍̩͎̺̳͎̳̼̤̬̟̺̘̦̞̻̥̝͖͎͓̩͔̞͓͔̩̮̬̩̦̤̗͎̖̬̱̹̩̪̝̪̘͖̫̓͗̽͒̉̆̃̔͂́̄̔̆͆͊̓̅͆͂̍̉́̈́͛͗͌̌̍̇̔̎̐͑͒̐̈́̏̓͑̊̈́̈́̈́̊̔̈́̏͒̌͊̄́͌̀̅̚̕̚͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̵̡̹̖̻͉̙̩̗̠̲̙̞̹͍̹̜̭̉͛̈̾̂̈́̒̌͛͗̄͒̃͐̀̑̈́͑͊͊́̽͘̚͠ ̸̧̨̨̡̡̡̧̛͙̖̬͔͖̣̪̩̤̰̬̯̪͉̘̤̼͕̬̫͉͇̲͎̭͙̞̗̥͇̦͙͉̮̭̰̜͙͓̤̻̭̼̬̠̟͈̫͍̬̮̬̗̺͎̺̲̠͙̮̫̠̻̤̳̹͋͗̈́̓̾͊̀͌̇̇̄͒͑́̍̊̓͌̈́̏̍̆͂̌̅̂̇̔͌̀̎̒̀̀̂̄̔̔͒͑̔̈̀͊͊̓̅̓̆͘̕̕̚͘̕̚͜͜͠͝͠͝͝͠ ̵̛̛͚͚̩͉̊́̌̐͊̈͂̓̋̋̂̈́̎͐̐͂͐͂͂̃̊̅̽́̿̑̂̄̀̍͆̅̇͛͌͐̉̌̉͂̎̿̄̊̊͌͐͑͂̏͊̈́̅͌̓̒͊̎̈́̌̚̕̚͘͝͠͝͝͝ ̴̧̡̨̡̡̢̢̛̲͈̰͚͇͓͙̼͈̟̻͓̰̣̫̖̞͎͉̫͙̺̺͇̜͔̟̖̠̭̯̹͙͎̲̯̠̬̲͕̼͇̘͉̤̘͖͈̜̬͈͍͈͚̣̫̞̣̲̣͈̓̈̓̈́̇̆̑̂̈́̿̋̓̿̎̇̋̀̂̑̉͝͝ͅ ̶̨̡̡̡̢̡̛̛̛̮̯̗̳̺͎̺͔̹̼̼̞̮̪͚̟͔̮̟͔̺̘̠̘̼̩͕̮̞̗̖̱̤͈̞̥͕͎͖̏̂̀̈́͐̐̓̈̎̐̈̎̎̅̿̾̅̑̎̒͊͗̾̌̍̂̉̈́͌͋̔̐̄̆̍̐̒̀͆̈́̀̅̃̊͑̏̅̇̏̃̇͆̊̈́͂͆͆͘̚̚̚͜͜͠͠͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅ ̵̢̡̡̡̨̧̧̢̛͓̮̫̙̻̜̞͖̰̻͔͈̼͎̲̫͖̥̫̠̱̱͚͕̳̙͉͍͓̙̫̲̺͖̫̙̹̲̙̖̝̜̼̺̣̬̟̺̼̮͕̘̝̞̪͔͕̞͇͔̯̭̩̗̱͚̰̥̩͖͖̯̬̐̄͑͗̌̌̔̐͒͋͗̔͂̽̏͛͋̓͋͑͆̑͒̒̏͋̋̈́̽̍̌̓͒̔̈́͐̂͑̊͋̉͛̉̈̔͒̀̒̽̈̎̔̓̍͗̌̃̂͘̚͘̕̚͘̚͠͝͝͝͠͝ͅ ̷̢̨̨̧̧̪͈̝̱͕͚̲̭̮̞̝̯̥̲̮̣̪̪͖̖̼̮̪̦̤̪̺͕̼͎̩̳̣͔̩̪̯͉͉̟̬͈̻̯̫͇̰̩̺̩͙̙̭͂̐̎̅̀̐͑̂̎̆̀͑͐͋͒̌͒̕͜͜͠͠ͅ ̷̧̡̨̡̧̛͍͓̹͇̫̲̫̠̼̗̬͓̱̘̳̙̖͈̙̭͉̟̟̰̝͍̝̥͚̭͚͕͓͕̥̠̬̦̘͇͈̯̞̞͇̳͕͋̑̇́͝ͅͅ ̸̨̢̢̢̛̥͇͎̗̘̝̱̯̬͔̻̼̥͖͈̩̥͍̳̤̲͉̹͚̖͇̪̣̣͚̦̝̭͚̦̲͙̓͗̈́͛̽͒̔̽͌̿̓͐̓͒̔̌̃͛̐́̈́̌͋̽͂̈͒̒͋̇̄̽̆̿̍̒͛̉̆̈́̋̌̈́̃̆͂͐͊̓͒͊̓̔͆̌̾̇̾͋̑̌͘͜͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅ ̶̨͎͕̙̺̳̞͙̟͚̳̼͙̍͋̍̂̒̌̊̄̄̒͊͑̆̑̃͛͒̽͛̇̅̈́̇̎̑̏̈́̅̓̃̔̄͗́̆̇̽̆͋͒̐̓̐́̂̅̋̊̉͂̂͂͌͌̊̐̒͆̊̒͐̃̎̏̕̚̕̕͘̚͝͝͝͝͝ ̷̡̡̨̨͍̻͓̥͔̭̦̙̤̲̭̰̟̟̬͈̭͚͎͖̫̫͈̫͙̯̜̠̭͓̹͉̞̭̹̲̟͍̗̩̞͖̬̤̭̩̓͋̅͆̆̎͊̄͗͐͜͜͠ͅ ̵̢̧̧̨̧̛͚͕̱̥͈̺͈͈̭͕̤͓̲͈̩̲̝̝͓̲͔̩̬̖̲̅͂͒͐̍͋̌̏̌̈̿͌͐̋̿͆̈̊̋̾̏̀̅̄͑̄̀́͋̌̅͊͛͑̈́͌͋̃̂̑̈͋̓͘̕͘͘͜͠͠͝͝͠ ̶̡̢̢̛̻̳̼͈̩̰̲̣͇̻͍̜̹̤̼͉̞̭̣̲̯̙͔̝̣̯̜̱̪̻̞̰̭͎͈̠̹̩̮̘̫͎̬̬̻̲͓͕̥̄̉̇͆́̊̆͑͂̉͗̓̾̋̈́̈͂́̒̈́̇̌͆̾̒͋̀̏̑̐̅̎̔̂̀͆̍͂͂̓̉̅̈̈́͂̉͆̇̇̾̀̚̚͘̚͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅ ̵̡̢̢̧̛̛̛͓̝̻̗̱͇̹͕̝̱̼̦͈̦̝͙̺̯̼̫̘̥̲̣͉͖̪̳̠͋̈̒́̎̈͊͗̿̈́̈́͋̓̐̒̒̀̋̾̒͊͒͗͛̎̋̾͂̄́͒̿̉̈̃̋̓̈́̀̓̽̂̎̌͂͂̋̾̌̚͜͝͝͠͝͠͠͝ͅ ̶̡̰͉̞̥̥̣̳̟̮̱̲͖̰͓̻̈́̄̀̊̊̀̏̽̚I̵̛̛̞̞̬̗̯̞̜̳͖̼̪̜̙͇͖͖̗̻̼̬̰̱̰̦̋̂͊̽̊̾̃̒̿̓͗̊̄͑͌̈͋̍̆̎̅̐̎͛̍̄̍̇̐͌̉̃̍̃̊̋̄̽͑͋̋̔͗̿̊̅̈́͑̾̾̎̅͂̋̈͂͐́͑̈̌̊͘͘̚̚͠͝ͅͅ ̸͉̳͕͉̞̹̰͚̲̬̝̐̃̓͐̎̋̂͂̏͑̈́̓̇̾̊͘͝ ̴̦̖̩̩͓̼͔͖̙̒̃̈̏̃̆̾͗͐̈́̂̆̕ ̷̨̡̛̛̪͉̱͉̦̼̹͓͍̬̙̩̙̪̘͎̭̫͉͚̟̘̻̥̘̳̳͎̤̮̥̙̬̾͋̊͑̐̈͒̈́̽̏̅̓̈́͛͂̽̅̎̑͒͂̍̈͗̒͑̚̚͜͜͠͝͝͝ͅ?̵̨̛̑̈́͂̂̓͊̔̈͐̄̅̽͒̈́͌̓͊̊̊̋͋̈̀̓̓̀̈͛͑͒͆̕̚͝ ̸̛̛̯̜̰͉̬̫͔̩̳͚̹̱͔̞͇͈̼̻̣͍̒̉̉̎͂̍͑͐͂̂͊̃͆̎̽̀͗̐͂͊͝ͅ** ̢̧̟̝̬_

 

 **_whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read_ ** _went offline_

**kaegay** : okay im actually shaking this is horrifying

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HGFDRTYJHGFDERTYJHFDSERTYHGFDERYUHGFDERTYHGFDSWER

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : if ye had the chaence to chaenge yer faete

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : W̴̛̯̬͚̝̯͎̗͖͍͍͈̬̦̗̯̭͇̺̝̺̫͚̗̙̦̭͍̘̜̍͛͌̑̀̇̾̀̈͛͋̎̅̿̓̈́̏͗̑͗́͑̓̆̾̆̍̐̎̈̄̎̀̿̽̇̈́̀͋̀̏̓̊̂͗̈́̆̽͑͘͘̕͠͝͠͠͝ͅ ̷̨̢̡̡̛̛͇̯͍͕̲͙̳̤͔̹͚̲̗̬͎̼̟̝͓̮̺̖̦͉̳̭̝̗̩͖̹̺̙̹̤̭͇̮͙̗̥̪͔̲̖͎̮͎̦͉͙̾̇̄̉̋̄̋̒̐̇̈̄̐̊͛̆̂͂͐̓͗̋͐͑̉͑̂̊̂̊̈́̌̉͌̈́̑͛̎͋̿̾̔͗̂́͆͘͘̚͜͝ͅͅ ̸̘̪̰̘̭̱̗̘̳̼̼̲̼̟̫̝͓͈̱͈̅͋̄́͛̏͒̏͐̐͋̀͊̈́̌̓̇̑͛̽̆͐̈́͆̍͠͝ ̶̨̡̨̧̛̛͔͈̼̩̪̖͍̦̬̼̝̳̙̲̯͇̝̯̭̯̫̖͚̼̞̙̘̝̣̫̖̼̝̺̠͕͚̮̙̜̮̫͙̱̯͎̭̗̲̼̤͈̳̝̖͙̥̗̖̆̒̓̌̎̏͐̈́̅͊͂̄̆̈́̇̓̈́͂̍́͂͌͗͗̾͛̓̐̒̄̆̔̓̾̅̒̇̈̚̕̚̕͜͝͠ͅͅ ̷̡̨̢̩̲̼̙̬͚̱̲̤̣͕̤̭̺̠̗̥̩̤̞̬̝̭̏̈͗̃͋̊̊̀̏̽͆̕̕͜͜͠ ̷̢̧̡̣̺͖̞̺̲̮̹̪̫̫͂̈́̔͐̿̍̿̓͐͋͊̌̅̑̋̔̽̾̄̍̍̅̉͆̌̑̋̎̀̒̽͑̊̽͌̃̄̑̓̾̇̄́͒͘͘̚̕͝͝͝͝ ̵̡̛̛̼͇̻̩̣̱̰͈͉̪͈̥̪͇͚̠̪͚̬̗̤͙̼̘̗̜̼̥̝̗͙͖͚̝̙̤̬͎̝̥͓̼̣̜̫̼̫̗̟̼̠̬͔̲͔͔̲̞͋̔͛̈́̽̉̃̂̇̋̉͋͂̓͋͗̄̎͘͘̚͝͝͝ͅͅ ̵̧̛̛̗͖̬̝̗̱̐̾́́̿̃̑̐̈̑́͌̆͊̏̑̇̏́͑͐̃̍͑̇̇̉̓͆̏̈́̐̍̑͒̊̋̐̑̃͐̈́̑̀̎͗͊̈́̃̀͗̄̆̑̇͆͆̕̚͝ ̷̢̹̱͉͔̣̺̼̠̼̟̫͎̳͈͖̱͇̜͕̹̫̣͎͈̪̻̣̙̺̦͚͎̤̱̔̓̃͐̕̚͜͜͝͝ ̶̧̛̛̱͕͙͓̞͍̩̙͕̝͎̮̹͖̘̤͉̣̽̊̊̀̏͑̐̎̃̿͛̇͗̔͗̔̔̾̐̓͗̂̌̄̉̌̔̓̊̈́̌̓̏̓̐̋͂͂͊͛̑̀̋̿̇̀̾̓͛̊̓̕̚͘̚͜͠͝͠͝͝͝͝ ̴̡̨̡̨̢̢̢̨̡̪͓̯̹̣͚̞̳̥͉̭̙͙̘̬̯͔̲͓̺̹͔̘͓̪͈̮͙̭̺̤̳͈͇̜̠̬̻̻̫̹͛̓̆̂́̃̆̇̌͂̈́̈́̇͗̋̊̓͆̽͐̍͂͘͝͝͠͠͝ ̵̛͓̬̙̌̐̓͌̎̌̀̋͌̿͛̈́̽͂͂̏͋̋̈́͗̐̐̿̚͠͝Ơ̵̧̢̨̨̢͚̟̱͈̦̠̮͔̜͉͖̺͚̜͈̗̺̙͔̙̣͍̠͉͓̜̥͔̮͖̙͔͎͖͕͇̱̤͚̖̳͎̰̖͇̞̮̲̰͈̠̳̪͈̍͗̓͐̆͂̽̄̔̋̈̓̈̾̏̓͑̽̈́̒͑͋͂̑̆̿́͆͛̇̎̋̽̕̕͘͘̚̕̚͜͜͜͜͠͝ ̵̡̧̨̛̛̜̻̠̥͔̠͔̱͓̟̟̟̹̙̗̝̯͙͓̺̰̻̱̞̥̩͕̺̟̼͚̤͍̱͖͕̱͔͇̳͈̬̟͈̗̩͓̙̭͕͍̳̰͈͔͍͚̩̘̹̪̰̇̓͗͗̍̏̿̑̍̅̋̊̃̉͋͌́͑̉̈́̃̄͗̇̄͋̈́̔͑͐͂̏̎̍̈̈́͑̍̈̌̏͛͒̂̅̿̊̆͆̕̕͘̕͜͜͜͠͠͝ ̷̡̨̨̧̢̲̦̱͕̮̤͖̹͕̬̲͈̦̟̪̳̟̣̭͕̯͔̻̳̰̹̞͍͉͕͚̖̤̙̼̻̝̘̻̻̪̱̳͖̮̣̙̟͙̘͓͉̦͉̝̫̬͉̙̓͒̒͗̔̈́͒͋̒̽͊́̉̄̎͛̑̀͜͠ͅ ̷̢̢̧̡̧̧̛̩̮̘͈̳̤͙̜̫̼̲͍̗̰͎̬͇̣̫̼̻̪͈͚̳̼̻͎̰̠̘͚̣̤͉̩̠̺̦͍͎̳̐̒̇͒͛̆̆̆̋̈́͒̌̽̾̄̍͗̃͆̉̏̂́͑̓̍̾̀̽̽͑̓̐̈́̑͐́̍̚͘͘̚͜͜͜͝͠ ̶̡̨̞̬̯͙̯̖̲͎͇͍̤̭̖̞̗̜̲̗̳̘̯͚͖͈͓̻̗̲̱͈̥̳̦̐͒̔̌͘̚͜ ̴̢̢̛͓̪̱̜͕̼͉̬̘͔̩̰̘͖̝͚̳̖͔̘̜͉̳͖̟͎̖͍͖̳̬̦̇̐̄͂͐̅̍̐̅̿̇̅̋͗̅̈̑͝ ̶̨̢̡̻̬̳͓̠̟̗͍̣͙̦̰͉̥͕͍̤̤͈̻̾̅̃̀̆͆̂͌́̾̿͑́̓̉̾͛͜ͅ ̸̨̡̡̨̛̛̛̦͉̖̖͖̙͙͉̬̻̹̟̬̹̫̩̺̞̗̫͔̘̱̣̜̪̰̜̲̞̮̞̙̝̹̙̺̦̳͖̫̥̩̫̂̋̽́̇̔͐̆̀͑̉̉͌̋̒͐̒̆̆̽́͒̽͒̄͘͘͜͠͝ͅͅ ̸̢̡̧̛̛̝͙͔̱̱̹̜͈̼̤͚̯̦̯͎̝̤̭̪̙̮̼̦̮̫̙̫̭̖͉̗̼̲͗͛̋̅̒̀̂́̆̐̂̀͂͊̃̑͂̄̃̈́̅̕̕͘͝͠ͅ ̵̢̡̡̨̨̛̺̣̟̗͙͙̣̦̤̣͍̻̟̤̬̳͈̠̥͕̻̹̭̯̞̜̩͕̘̹̗̭̘͎̥̰̬̠̗̥̭̫̻̯̠̩̙̘͛̎̈́̊͑̋̎̄͊̌̇̋̉́̍̅͗̅̽̃̾͒͌̉͆̕̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅ ̸̢̢̡̡̛͕̟͔̮̹̩̤͔̟͙͈͍̗̳̞̝͚̬̞̠̖͇̝̖̬̠̙̪̣͕͓̦̫̤̳̙͈̠̙̟͇̗̱̩̇̑͊͂̉̾͒̂͜͠ͅͅͅ ̷̨̨̧̧̛͕͇̬͓̲̼͎̘̝̦̠͍͉̙͔͙̥̘͍̘͇̖̰̘̙̲̭̠̠̰͎̱̹̦͚̣̼̮̣͎̙̰̖̫̝̩͛̑̊̄͋̽̈̉͐̈́̓̒̈́͗̎̃̒̓́͆̾̈͋̋͋̾͛̓͐̕͜͝͝ͅͅ ̶̢̡̛̦̭̩̫̖͙͎̯͍̜̱̺̂͒̀͗̑̈́̈́͛̀͋̈́͗̽͌̉͌̒́̅͆̒̐̍̾̿̎̉̀̓̚̕͜͝ ̷̢̢͎̼̳̱̯̫̯̲̱̠͎̜̗̘̥͎̼̲͖̫̜̣̦̻̭̪̞̙̹̗̻̪͇͍̍̌̄̄͊̐̽̑͋̾̆͗͐̇̆̃̈̓̊̿̿̀̈́͊̓̐̿̌̉͘̕͜ͅͅ ̷̢̢͚̦̜̯̝̙̤̮͓̰̙̰̞̤̺͓̩̞̣̮͍̥͈̖͖̘̲̞͌͊͛̊̽͝ͅ ̴̡̢̡̨̧̛̰̝̰͙̯͇̠͉̳̭̝̪͎̬̦̘̣̹̘̯̞͓̘͖͔͚̬͚̺̞͍̮̼͙̯̗̼̻̟͖̹̳̖̝͙̎͆̾̈́̅͌̃̇͌̑͛̎͗̍̊̄̌̈́̀͆̇͒͌͛͑͛̍̒̂̃̅͛͛̈́̅̔̏̀̐̎̂̈́͆̋͒̑͗̉͂͌̏͛͂́̏͑̚͘͘͝͠͠͝͝ͅ ̷̢̨̧̨̢̧̧̧̝̭̝̙̝̼̰̼͕̝͚̼͉͙̩̮̜̪͎͎͈̝̃̈́̓̃͂͐͌̓͒̐̈̆̉͑͂̇̏̓̕͘͘̕͝͝ͅͅŲ̸̨̧̡̢̫̺̝̥̞̪͕̪̙͖͍̰̘͉̰͕̯̤͎̭̮̗͇̗̞̰̪͕͈̦̼͕̱̺̳̘͖̥͍̯̜̪̬̦̞͉̹̥̝̲̟̱̽̽̇̽̾͌̽͑̓̉̈́͑͌̚͘͜ͅͅ ̵̧̨̨̛̗̪̜̰͔̲̥̬͍̭̪͎̮̥͎͔̗̳͖̘̦̖͙̫̺̻̤͖͓̲͈͉̼̞͓̜̉̿̐̀̓̋̓̋̄̏̈́̿̿͛̑̑͋̋̐̈́̋͐͋̌̏͂́̾̏̐̔̈́͒̐̾̇͒̾̊͐́́͑̌͒̋̾̚̚̚̕͘͜͝͝͝͝͝͝ ̷̨̨̛̩̥̳̘̮̺̤̯̗̳̮̺͉̝̒̔͐͗̿͛̈͊̑͗͋͒̒̏̈̈̑̈̅̅̐́̊̇̾̽͐̊̋̿̓̇͛̊͂̑̈́͌̃̎̚̚͘͝͝͠͝͝͠ͅ ̶̧͓͔̬̜̤̹̝̻̪̻͚̪̍̇̄ͅ ̶̡̢̛̖͔͙͖̟̖̖͑̐̆̌̔̈̍́͗̌̊͑̐̓̓͛͌͑́̊̾̍̀̅̏͗̂̽̈́̍̽͛̉̕͘̕͝͝ ̷̨̧̢̧̧̟̫̗͚̜̞͕̘̟͓͍̘̥̞̪̘͓̙̤̲̯̝̪̼̲̼̝͎̲̺͍͙͍̯̺͚̍̿̏͆͋̆͑̎̎̉̐͗̕͜͠͝ ̷̢̛̛̛̛̰͓̘͔͔͇̳͚̻̺̲̣͕̯̲͑͐̓̇̏͒̎̄͑̒̐͆̍̈́̔̽͒̊͆̽͆͑̅̍̒̿̅̆̈̋̎͑̂̌̓̈̈̾̈́͌͗̆̇̽̈̏̐̚̕͝͝͝͠͠ͅ ̵̡̨̧̜̙̹͔̤̜̙̞̥̻̹̣̬̱̗̤̱̙̫̘̬̞̲͕̽͑̐͜ͅ ̵̧̡̧͉̫̻̻͉͔̙̤̪͈͎̘̘͎̲͔̤̺̱̝̹̯̏̍̎ ̷̡̨̢̧̛̛̩̼̮̹̮͎̱̟͖̟̤̭̤͓̩̻̰̪̭͎̬̟͚͔͎͈̙̹̤̜̖̪̭̜̰̼̭̲͉̝̩̝̟̗͓̥̺̣̯̯̐̓̋̅̇̽̅́̆̃̐͐̔̑̓͗͆͋̉̓̾̏̇͘͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅ ̸̢̡̡̨̡̢̢̨̦͖͎̣̘̳͔̣̮̤̫̮̪̠̹̱̰̹̻͇̹̟͙̹̗̠̦͉͇̰͎͈̼̳͇͎̬͎̘̘̩̩̭̟̥͙͔͍͂̄͌̾͒̒́̈́͂͌̾̏̎͜͜͜͜͜ͅͅ ̵̢̨̨̨͇̤̦̰̬̻͉̘͈̣̞̦͈̲̭̙̬͉̞̻̻̲͇̠̫̯̲̫̣͆̾̃̐̒̐͂́̉͂̈́̀̌͗̊͒̈́͂͒̌̀̋̍͌̉͌̀̕̕̕͘ ̴̡̡̨̡̛̛͎͚̟̼̫̻̱̱͙͙̺̣͈̮͕̮̣̜̯͖͙̤̠̩̬̮̞̣̖̗͔̠̜͍̳͍͍̲̘͎̽͐̃̇̊̊̽͂̍̊̇͊̈͋̊̉͛̐̚̕͠͝͝ͅ ̸̡̛̛̬͖͉̙̼͉͐̍͗̓̂͑̓̽͌͗͑̇̈́͒̌͒̎͋͗̍̎̓̇̔͗̚͘̚͠͠͠͝͝ͅ ̸̨̡̢̨̢̧͎͇͙̤̗̣͎̝͍͓̳̮͈̳̲̙̤̥̙̬̪͚̙̼͚̻̱͎͔̘͈̪̳̮̳͕͇̮̠̰̟̝̻̘̲̥̗͕͚̪̱͖̈̿̈́͆̈́̓͂̿̆̐̌͋͐̽̃̂͑̍̈͊̆̊̿̄̒̐̈́́̍̒͆̏̆̓̏̕̕̕͜͠͠͝͝͝͝ͅḼ̸̡̡̛̛̛̝͔͉͉͓͓͍̺̘͎̹̪̻̠̲͇͙͉̣̭̮̝̜̜̣͇̣͈̾̔̑̐̈́͒̆͌̇̈́̊̈͋͆̌̓̾͒̔͆͒͌͊̾̓̾̐̒̐̑̆̎̽͆̈̈̑̔̔̉͐̚̚͝͠͝͠͠͝ͅͅ ̸̡̧̖̤̖͎̰̄͌͐̔̍̎̆̆̂̒͐̔̊̄̅͗͆̂̄̂͆͂͊̚̕͝ͅ ̶̧̡̨̢̨̡͎̩̻̫̰̖͓̜͍̠̱̪̩̱͚̲̘̘̝͍̳͚̖̰͚͉̹̩̰̼̗̗̖͈̣͓̝̰̱̙̗̺͕̦̬̮̻̥͙͔̘̘͇̌̅̀̈͜͜ͅ ̸̧̛͙̺̟̯̤͖̖͙̠̞͓̠̳̠̙̱̫̻̤̫̗͙̗̩͍̖͋͂̓͗͗͂͆͗̑͊̆̽̈́͂̑̓̇̅̈́̎͂͒̃̒̾͂̈́͌̒̄̓̄̓̇͆̍͒̒̋̌̅̒̐͆̈́͑̆̉̒̅̏̊̕̕̚̕̚͝͠͝ ̶̨̢̡̢̧̨̧̧̡̢̛̛̪̫̻̜̩̺͕̖͙̟̤͎͍̩̫̥͍̖̯̦̩͍̘̥̯̭̜͖͈̟͉̩̲͍̳̥̜̙̰̪̠̹̝͖͎̫̻̤̱̱͆̃̈́͛̌͋́̐̏́̅̈̾̿̈́̎̏̾̊͊̽̀̚͘̕͘̚͜͝ͅͅ ̶̧̢͈̱̼̹̹͉̱͈͖̺̖̙̱̙̥̖̹͖̻̤̬̪̙̠̟̹̝̪̹̳̓̒̃̈́̓̒͒̽̾͑͑̈̏͒̔͋͛̔̒̉́̂̋̓̉͂͌̍̈̋͐̓̓̐̽͊̈͌͌͘̚͘͝ ̸̟̼̽̐̋̚ ̶̨̢̧̛̛̬̦̹̱͔̜̞̬͖͍̺̗͙̗̘̺̗̣͍͚͖̗̻̩͉̖̼͈͓̩̬͎̣̪̩̫̓̄̎̇͑̍͌͆̂̑͛̇̐̈́͋̌͑̉̄̎̄̑͊͂̈̇̔̊̍̈́͋̓̑̈́́̎̕͘͠͝͠ͅ ̸̨̧̨̨̡̨̨͔̯̜̜̺̫͓̠̥̲̬̯̼̹͖̙͈͉̩̮͎̳̮͙̗̠̙͍͚̝̜̮̲͇͔̜͔̻̻͇͕̦͙̱͔̮̬̫̙̻̼̳̱̻̫̬͖̖́͐͆̈́̀͆́̌̋͗̓̓̌̉̀̅̆̿̇̎͐̑̿̄̏̄̕̚͘͜͜ͅͅ ̸̡̢̡̧̢̡̛͖̮͕͎͚̝̩̦̠͕̳̬̞̺̮̹̭̱̩͎̯͖͎̰͇͖̦͎̤̠̜͚̺̣̻̼̩̮̫̲̈́͊̃͐̅͂̈͛͆͛̊̈̎̓̐͌̌̉͋̋͛͋̓̆̏͐̇̏̈̈́̈́́͐̓̈̄͛̅̀̓͌̂̅̎̋̀͑̿͑̾͆͋͆̉̂̊͘̚̚͘͠͝͠ ̸̨̨̡͓̘͖͖̜̥̜̮̝̘̳̭͚͕̲̝͍̠̏̂͊̍́̈́̂̚͘͜͝͝ ̴̧̡̛̗̰̪̹͇̰̹̰̻͔̦̪̰͔̱̦͙̲͈͇͚̏̒̾͊͐̏̓̑̔͆̽̆̊̑͛̃̑͌̑̌̓̆̃̀͑̂̉̿̈́̐̿̎̃̈̽́̈̒̔̚͜͠͝͝ͅ ̵̛̛̹̫̘̩̱͍̬͓̹̭̑̃̅̊̈́͂̅̾̓̆͋̍͑̏̀͛̈̔̇̽͒̊̇̅͗͐̓́͐̃͌́̇̀͆͑̄͋͒͒̈̂͌̒̓̊͊̌̋̐̇̋͛̏̏̓͆͘̕̕͠͠͝͝ ̸̡̡̨̨̢̧̼̻̙̼̗̯͔̖͉̲̭̩͎̗͉̺̭̻͕̬̩̤̘̜̹̺̠͕͎̬͚̥̳̻̣̟͚̼̑͗̐́̆̇͜͜͠ͅͅ ̷̢̧̞̼̹̤̗̺̥̪̞̲͔͔̫͓̺̖̪̙͈̘̪̘̬̭̤̮͈͂̑̅̅̿̋̈́͋̀͑̄̽̉̑̒͌̒̊̎͋͌͋͗̈́̂̚͝ͅD̴̢̨̧̡̡̜͔͇̦͇͎̝̫̣̤̠͓̻̠͈̪̘̠̞̤͕̥̱͇̜̤͉͕̟̳̠̥͕̯͕͈̺̺̲̭̠̩͕̼̥̮̯͖̰͖͕̥͕͈̱̅̎͐͗̌̂̉̓͌̏̋̏̓̑̊͆̒͗̀̕͠͠͠ ̸̡̢̡͉̹̩͕̮̬̜̞̙͓͙̰͙͔͈̮̘͓̬̱̖̲͗̇͗̅̈́͒̄̏̅͋̃̀̈́͛̇͐̎̒̇͑̐̅̓̓͑̓̎̾̓̈́̀̚͠͝͠ ̷̧͍̹͍̰̝̜̺̝̥̲͎͆̒̓͗ ̴̧̨̨̢̡̧̨̡̨̢̮͖͉̣̳̭̭̮̦̠̻̙̩̪̤̤̹͖͚̣͖̗̮͉̩̝̮̱̤̝̝͈̩̓͐͆̔͒̐̎͛́̃͊̅̊̆̿͌͊̒̌̀̔̒͗͌̀̾̎̉͒̑̆̆̔͑̏́̍͐͒̔̊͗̈́̅͂̂̓̐̉͌̂͑̾̓̆̕̕̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝ ̷̨̧̢̡̨̛̝͓̝̤̳̟̟̗͓̼͉͕̠̖͖̬̗̫̬̘̥̤̺̙̰̰̖͚͖̻̪̫͔̭̹̼̘̱͔̬̖̳̰̱͎̜͖̀̂͆̈͒̏̎̅̑̌̋͊̈̒͋͆̂́͂̒͛̍̒̈́͑̂̔͐̊̀̈́́̓̆͌̃͋̎̂̽͛̔̄͘̚͘̕͠͝ ̶͉̻̰̳͚̤̯̳̥̩̲͉̼̬̞͇͍̘̙̮̥̰̦̑̇̓̈́̒̊̌̇͊̏̾͂̓̄̌̃̾̿̐̈́͋̓͑̃͋͛͂̈́̍̾͆̃̇̽͒̓͑͋͗̎̏̄͌͊̏̑̍͊͊͋̑́͑͌̔͂̅̚̕̕̚̚͜͝͝͠ ̷̢̨̡̡̢̨̨̺̭͔̤̣̠̣̭̙̙̜͙͚̜̥̼̪͔̖̜̦͉̗̩̳̥͎̦̲̳̰̙̖͇̝̐̔̎́͂́̆͘͜ ̷̧̡̛̛̛̦͈̲͎͕͙̰̥̬̳̜̻̗͕̜̲̃̑̐̿̃̽̃̊͒̂̑̈́͑̉́̊̒͊͂͗̇̀̒͒͆̆͊̌͛͂̅̄̾͗̿̏̾͂͋̆̎̅́̅͗͋͛͌̓̈́̐̏͊̑̏͛̕͘͝͝͝͠͝ ̵̛̛̙̱͎̬͍̻̜͖̱͛̈́͛͛͌͐̿͛̃̍͑̔͑̌̊̾̃̌̑͋͐͂̓̒̂͊͐̆̕̚̚͝͝͠ ̸̩͎̇̍̆̽͊́ ̶̡̛͎̫̯͈̬̭̘̻̠̳̻̟̠̯͉̼̭̥̣͈̹̬̫̪̪̳̠̪̤̙̫̣̫̦̦̺̲̟͊̈́̂̒̈͛͑͊͌̐̐̾̒̆̽̀̒͐̒͐͌͆̓̃̓͊̂̃͒̽͑͛̽͋̂́̏̿̔̿̉͑̏͗̕͘͜͝͠͝͝͠͝͝ ̶̢̡̡̡̢̡̡̧̡̛͎͇̺̼̞̙̟͍̩̦̗̫̥͇͉͉̦̭͎̙̪̗̣̻̞̱̝͕̳̯͕̙̠̫̹̙̠̘̱͓̞̟͔̪̤͎̞̰̜̤͎͎̹̭̘͉̲̇̎́͊͌͋̾̀͂̊̑̓̐̍̽͊̎͆͂͑͗̄̇̔͊̉́̀̽̂̾͒̏̓͐̀͛͆̿͌̌́̇̐͂͊̂̿̐̀͂̓̎̔̐̇̈́̕̕͜͜͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͠ ̵̡̛͍̘̣̟̰͇̻̩̗̫͙̠̝̼͉͆̆̌̊̑̓̀̅̇̔͗͂̀͌̈́́͊̂̃̍͒̈́͗̽͌͗̉̉̋̀̅̅̈́̕̚͘͝͝ͅ ̶̧̧̡̢̡̡̨̛̞͕̤̮͖̘͉̣̯̻̹͓̙̙͕̟͉̬̥̬͓͔̟͔͓̫̮̘͙̣̤͇̝̜̱̭͔̩͖͉̗̻̣̖̹̩̉̑̔͋͒̏́̇͑̚͜͜͠͝ͅ ̶̧̢̡̧̛͚̰͇̠̞͕̗̹̦͙̻̮̝͕̰̣̩͇̮̝̞̜̥͎̥̫͉̩̖̞͇̠̰̜̣̙̤̫̠̗̞̭̣̦̮̹̦͖͈̳̪̘̩͈̗̇̈̂̏̈́̒̈́̈̂͛͗̿̋̏̃͛̑̌̑̓̏̾̈̅̓̄̂͛̀̓̌̈́̽̈́͑̈̎͋̕̕͜͜͜͜͜͝͝ͅ ̸̢̛͉͕͎̖͑͌̈́̔̍̆͐͊͑͒̈́̒̄̎̌̑̃́̅͌͗̆̐̈́͂̈́̃̎̈́͘̚̚̕͝͠͝ ̷̨̧̛͚̳̖̘͖͙̥̭̻̗͈̫͙͇͕͉̦̭͖̪͍̫͈̣̬͇̯͓̱͈̞͎̜̤̰̦͕͍̰͖͙͚̰͕̥̼̉͋̎̃͗̓̅̽͋̅̈́͑̒͂̈́̾̾̚͠͠ͅͅ ̴̢̨̢̛̛̫̬̖̥͈͓̳̰͓̝͉̬̩̱̻̳̥̳̻̻̘͎͆͊̈͗̌̒̐̈̈́̈̑̓̐̒͂̎̽̽́̍͋͂̑̏̏͋̓̄̈́̆͆̒̈́͋͂͆͊͋̃̓͐̽́̇͌̔͋̅̒̄̇̈́̀̏̄̍͘̚̚̕͘̚͜͝͠ ̸̨̢̧̡̡̢̛̛̛̖͖̘̗͚̤̮͍̜̻̬̬͎̺̰͇̼͔̯̳͚̖̥͖̬͕̺̟̱̲̜̳̟̣͚̣͈͎̦͚̣̝͖̬̻͉̟͓̗̮͎͖̹̬͇͓̬͛̓̈́̂̽̈́͐̔̃̏̐̊͋͗̍̌̾̋͋̑̈̎̓͆̍̑̎̈͊̇͑̓̓̀̀͐̽̂̄̐̏̑́̿̏̇͘̕͘͘͜͠͝͠ͅͅ ̶̨̛̖͉̜̩̭̥̦̳͈̘̟̥̯̱̌̈́̓͐̋̂̎̌̿̌̉̊̽́̂̾͒̑̋͐͐̎̽̆̾̓͂̚̚͠͠͠ͅ ̶̢̨̢̡̡̨̢̡̛̱̬͙̰̱̰͚̙̤̮̰̞̩̮͓͈̘̦̳̦̻̗̼͔̬̞̯̺̦̺̙̹͚͍͍̻̱̩͓̬̟͍͉̯̩̗̺͆̊̾̍͂̏̈́̎̓͂͒̅̓͛͌̈̅̏̈̃̾̓͆͛̓̔͜͝͝͠ ̸̡̢̨̛͎͇̘̪̺̩͔̺̠͈̩͕͍̞̻͎̯͚̳̙̝͓̮͚̼̬̟̹̦̣̹̭͖̞̜̞̰̣̰̭̳͕̥̪̞͕͇̭͇̙̣͓̳̤̗͑͒̊̅̄͒̈́͗̾̈́̏̄́͛͒͌͛̌̎̊̍͂̇̅͊͗̐̅̍̿̐͜͝ ̵̡̢̛̛̛̛̫̱̰͔̝͙̯̹̺͈̫̞̰̖̿͋̀̐̔͂͑̔͆̄̄͊̈́̅̈́̈̉̆̌̈́̒͗̎̈́̓͛̒̏̿̈̄͌͒̎̈̀͆̐̑͋̿̒̌̃̂̉͐̚͘̚̚̕͜͠͠͠͠͝͝͠ ̶̡̡̢̨͓̙̤̞͕̯̫̤̱͔̪͚̝̳͓̼̤͍̞̳͕̦̱͉͎̱͈͎̘͉̭͉̳̻͖͈̦̻̠̟̯̖̻̪̯̲̯̺̯̭͙̪͈̋͛͆̈́̑ͅͅͅ ̷̩̤͈͕̤̬̹̱̰̣̦̩̖͓̭͕̞̪͓̭͚̘̈́̎͌̊͒͑͛͗̈́́̿̈́̿͛̌̿͋̊̽̄͊̽͂̊̿͒̉̾̈́̒͐͛͋͊͗̓͋̀͊̾̑͐̀́̂̅̕̚̚̕͝͠͝͠͝ͅ ̵̡̢̧̛̛̛̻͚̥̰̫̖̫̱͍̟̬̖̘̠̼̘̻̙͔̺͚͓̪͔̬̫̹͙̜̳̫͔̀͊̆̀̈́̎̈͂̽̊̆͂̓̓͒͂͌͆̊̊̐͛̈̐̋͌̂̍̀̌͒̋̈́̏͆̅͊̚̕͠͝͝͠͝͝͠ ̸̡̛̛̙̙͇̺̫̣̯̍͛̆̿̃͒͛̐̓̓̋͛̄̍͋̍̌̔͑͂͗̍̏̅̀̅̄̋̽̔͐͒̎̒͒͆̄͋̅͛̃̊̃͛̔̈́̋͆̔͂̾̚̚̚̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅ ̸̨̨̨̧̧̛̛̻̺̬̙̰̗̝͖̰͎̱̳͈̬̫̮̞̯̰̣͉̹̩̰͚̩͖͍͇̝͔̘̲̬̩̳͓͓̬̤̣̝͈̹̞̯̗̟̙̬̗͓̤̞̾̊̽͑̔͊́̓̏̌͊̂̌͛̓͊̈́͗͗͆͆̇̃͗̇̽͗̌̓͘̕͜͜͜͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̵̧͕͓͚͎̫̭̰͈͚͔̖̰̭̼͇̼͔̈́̈́̀̄̆͑̐͌̔̚͜͠ͅY̶̢̡̨̳̪͙̮̗̘̫̮̪͉̱͕̪͎̘̟̖̯͕̬͍̱̤͔̦̭̤͙͈͇͎̙̙͉̞̝̱͇̘̣̭̺̝͙͎̣̼̲̲̓̂̇͌̍̿́̈́̂͋̇̅͒̾̍͒͆̎͗̾͛͂́̌̿̓̍͐͊̑̃͛͆̔̊͊̃̀̎̈́̆̇̊̉͘̕̚͠͠͠͝͝͝ͅÉ̷̡̡̧̧̢̢̨̡̛̼̖̫̟͚̗̩̘̰̞̼̗̫̺͔̟̗̪͓̺̯̙͕̼͙̻̖̞̝̞̣̬̀̈̈́̿̽̾̀͊̐̄͆̔̈́͗̑́̏̾̈́̄̅̔̈́́͋̊͋̾͐̍͆̽̀͊̂̌̓̄̽̒͘͘̚͜͝

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : kaito?

 

 **_whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read_ ** _is online_

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : holy fuck your glitched writing actually made my phone crash

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : haha big mood

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : anyways im fucking tired yall gn

 

 **_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _went offline_

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ok but yes tsumugi i do want a gay tshirt

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : my one chance of having a gay top

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : HFDJHGFDRTYHGFDESRTGHHGFDRSEDRFGHHGFDSW

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : BIG MOOD!

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : wait angie

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : miu’s not the top in the relationship?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : are u kidding of course not

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : look at this wimpy skank meanwhile angie’s got the power of god and anime on her side

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : STOP TALKING ABOUT US HAVING SEX JFCCCCCCCCCC

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : jesus fucking Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : stfu minion man

 

 **_vorekiyo shingucci_ ** _went offline_

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : fukcfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCK

 

 **_agar.io is basically just a vore orgy_ ** _went offline_

**_yaint goin tuh heaven_ ** _went offline_

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : aw. now i’ve gotta update my board.

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : board??

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : my “___ days without someone mentioning minions to kiyo” board

 

 **nyahh :3** : you actually have that?

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : yes

 

 **kaegay** : can confirm

 

 **nyahh :3** : how many days were we at?

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : 3

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : that’s the highest its ever been

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : not surprised

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : …did miu just die

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : why did angie go offline?

 

 **_yaint goin tuh heaven_ ** _is online_

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : sorry! my phone was having technical difficulties, everything is ok now! :D

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : wheres the cow??? >:3

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : call miu a cow again and atua’s wrath will strike you down

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : o

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : anyways miu is in her room, where else? :P

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : …and kiyo?

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : ah, no worries.

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : H̶͎̦̏̾̓̃̀͌͐͆͂̅̕͝͝ ̵̡̨̧̛͍̤͍̘̣͚͇̳̤̆̾̐̑̎̕͜ ̸͓̻̥͋̀͐ ̸̡̲͖̘̈ ̶̹̠͖̼̣̣̜̍̑̈́̆͐̋ ̸͔̲̗̹̲̹̲̫̅̒̔͊͐̒̆͘ ̵̛͔̝͍̭͚͉̣̻̼̞͓̻͖̑̓Ě̶̳̝̳̱̖̆̂̍̊̏͗͠ ̴̡͉̪̱͓͙͈͊͗̈́͛̂̀̔̉̎̎́̒͝ͅ ̶̭͎̍̈̾͛̏̇̂͘̕̚ ̷̯̞̙̦̥̙̱͚͚̭̤̥͇͗̀̆ ̸͉̒͠ ̷͓̇̄͋͐ ̷̨̢̡̦̲̖̭̥̦̞̖̑͒͛̐́̽͘ͅ ̵̨͎̝̣̎͗͑̽ ̵̥̖̬̳̫̻͚̬̙̘̾̊ ̸̢̰̣̀͆͌̅̅̅̅͝ ̸̡̡̛͓̥̣̳̝̱͔͔̜̋̌͊̉̇͜͝ ̵̬̤̻̣̫͙̥̺͙̃̂̾͆̔̎̅̆̿̓̕ ̸̨̟̘͓̱̜̗͔͍͎̹ ̶̛͇͔͖͖̙̹̙̎͋͌̉́̈́̈́̊̔̇͐̎̕͜ ̷͖̤̮͉͍̗̜̳̟̇̌͑ ̴͙̮̐̐͊͑̊͂̎̑͗͘ͅĮ̵͖͍̪̗̟͔̜̫͔͙̯̎͗͆͐̾̍̈̎̂̊̐̒̓͜͝͠ͅ ̶̬̈́̄̆ ̴̛͓̝̓̈̄̋̓̏̓͑́ ̶̛͙͔̖̺̣̱͕̜̫̗̯̦̜͗͌͋͐́͛͋̚̕͘̚̕ͅ ̷̡̨̝̥͔̟̩̼̗͇̋ ̷̨͓͓͇̪̞̘̖̮̰̟̥̝̋̏͜͜ ̸̫͙̟̩͙̭̋̌͋͒̑͛̏̒̓̎͘ ̶̳͎͓̮͐͗́̐̔͑̃̆͛̉̄̄͒ ̵̧̗̩͖̮͖̑̋̂̇͛ ̶̧̡̢̦̎̌̊͋̆̈́̏̐Ş̸͉͖͚͉̜̣̜̖̫͑̅̉͐̔̓͋̀͂̈́̈́ ̶̲̱͓̠̘͙̙̻̭̀̑̈́̍͋̐̎́ͅ ̷͉̺̳͉͔͔̭̫͈̠̞̹̝͌͗̓͛̔̌̂͝͝ ̵͇͛̓̈́̂͐̓̈̌̃͠͠ ̶͔̦̟̻͓̘̗͈̟͈͚͑̍̈̌̾̎̓͜ͅ ̷̛̤͔͓̒͛̌̅͐̒̓̅̈́̂̅̀͘ ̷̨̧̗͉̦͈̤̗͓͙̤̤̣̝̅̅͛̆͛͜͠͝ ̶̧͖̏ ̸̟̩͚̈̄͊̐͑̆͑͒̓̌̈́͝ ̴̧̼̥͇̮̝͚̦̲̠̭̦̬̄̈́͐̌̈̊͛̿͐͋͠͝Ị̴̧̣̞̗̝̥͖͙͔̰̬̭̯̓͛̽̏́̊̚͜͝ ̸̧͍̰͎͔͇̜̦̞͊͒̏̇̆̿͛̅̒̚̚͠ ̶̡͎̱̜̪͚͎̤̮̟̤̻̊̉̅̍͊̉͠ ̸̛̗̱̞̻̳̱̤̯̔̿̄̎̇̒̍͘ ̸̛̱͈͔͙͉̫̫̤̮̮̦̀͊̇̔̇͌̂̋̑͝͝ͅ ̸͍̥̻̘̹͓͚̟̠̫̩̜́̈́̿̕̚ ̵̲̥͇̱̜̻̣̫͕̯͑͑̓̽̂͠ ̶̦̥͖̼̮̦͕̱̠̪̙̪̮̼̇͛̐̐͘ ̷̨̲͖̝̥̞̘̜̉̄̇N̴̨̢̯̤̘͔̦̦̜̼̓͌̍̑̐̆͒͑͛̔͘̚ ̴̛͇̝̑ ̷̏̍͒̽͊̓̃̈́̏͆̅̔ͅ ̸̨̨̨̳̳̼̟̳̞͕̬͎̝̺̲̍̎͛̕͝ ̷̛̲̞͉̜̮͔̔͑̑͒͊̈́͐̒̍̔͝ ̶̧̩̥̝͇̀̋̈́̄̈̌́̍̉̔͝ ̷̙͖͚͈̣̥̦̦̻̇̃̂͘ ̵̧͎̯̼̻̟̘̭̘͚͉͍̓ ̶̖̟͎̮̔́͂̉͝ ̶̡̳̰̳̙̼̤͆̉͑̎͛̃̽Ą̷̨̬͎͚̞̻̲̦̭͍̼̭͒̑ ̷̛͚̝͙̈̈́͌̍͋͊̈́̓̄͐̚͠ ̷̨̖͕͓̓̾̄̇͛̀̇̀͘͝ ̸̡̨̻̟̘̺̥̅̈́̈͂̍͜ ̴̬͓̯̭̟͖̞̱̖̻͓͊̅̽̈́͜ ̷̨̛̟̣̖̹̳̹͙̍͌̂̀͂̓̄̈́̉̾̚̕ ̷͕̩͔̲̜̰͓̎͒͐̈͆̌͗̚͝ ̷̼͔̍͂͗͛B̷̦͔̞̩̘̏̑̽͆̊̓͑̉̑̈́͝ ̵̗̙̠̫̩̯̻͊̀͝ͅͅẼ̷̢̲͉̤͙̫̞͎͚̪̣̲̤̟͑̃̋̎̈́͜͠ ̶̲̙̊͆̈́͗̊͐̍͘͝͠T̸̨͍̠̼̜̳̪̘͍̫̂͋̔̾͐͌̅͝ ̴̳̩̹̯̗̲̰̥̮̱̰͚͕̽͊̈̃̋T̸̜̻̥̻͚͖͇̳̠̹̝̒͌͂̿̔̑̒͘ͅ ̷̜̮̪͕̭̳͖̭͊̏̎̉͌̒̂̕Ẹ̸̡̢̧̛̻͕͖̭̹̲̺̤̝͈͛͛́̍͂̍͌͌͗̃̚͠͝ ̶̡̦͍̯̥͍̰̣̪̗̹̻̣̍͒̋͜͜͝R̵̪̖̭̉̊͒̓͆̆̆̏̚͝ ̷̛͈̻̮̦̖̞͛̔̑̂̋̍͑̕͝ͅ ̷̧̳̘̮̭͕͈̺̮̙̎̊́̃̽̔̓̃͌̅͂̀̏P̴̨̢͖̖͙̝̬̩̪̙͇̖̊̇́̈́͊͊̈́̃̕͜͝ ̵̛̪͎͙̲̳̹͖͇̩͉͍͚̖͙̜̾̔̅̌̐͠L̴̬̙̱̉ ̸̢̡̡̢̜̜̞͙͈̠̼̜̱̗̙͋̒͌͛̄̓͆̍̕̚Ą̷̖̰̂͛͂͛̓̈́͐͂̀̐̐͘̕͠͝ ̵̘̼͌̋͝C̸̢̯͎͈̣̈́͋̈́̏͗̇̍̊́̉̉̚ ̷̘̳̇͛͒͗͆̒ ̶̧̭̱̓̇͂̂͊̔̇̔̉̕͝ ̸̛͉̯̰̺͕̆̉̄̓͌͑̈́̓̒̇̑̚̕͠ ̵͎̭͉͍͉̭̣͔̳͕̫͐̊͊̽̅̇̍͒͌̕͜ ̵̨̠̲͎̬̪̇̇̍̓ ̷̧̧̧̰̣͖̦̥̞̪̫͈̤͖̄̃̅̚͜ ̶͔̠̟͖͉̣̳̄͋ ̶̹͖̲͙͈͍̳͙̺͈͍̇̿͋̈̊̂ ̷͕̥̬͙͓̺̜͚̟̥̈́͋͑̍̿̈́̃̇Ȩ̸͚̣̰̜̠̭͉̩͖̫͉͙͎͆̽̌̒̅̉͂̈̅̕̚̚ ̵̨̧͉͓͓͕̘͉̗̬̟̝̃̄̈́͒͝ ̵̦̼͓̼̅̉̃͑͊͆̋̽N̸̡̙̪͎͚͖̱̜̣̘̳̤͙͂́̚ͅ ̷͓̹̩̟̮̠̺̮͛͐́̇̒͒̄͛̕ ̸̢̺͓̻̯̱̝͕͚͇̈́̋̃̍̎̋̊̉̈́̍́̕͠ ̴̛̹̱̣͕̰̦͉̔̍̂̄̌̀̈́̎̕͝ ̶̗͕̘͇͇̭̯͈̯̿̐͗̈́̕ ̶͈̈́̊̑̎́̀̌̐̂͠ͅ ̸͎͙̗̹̭̲͕͕̜͎̄̈́Ö̸̧̢͕̻͓̞̞̖̬́̃̔ ̵̢̢̨̛̪̳̖͕̺̠̜̰͓̠̏̂̋̿̎͋̃̚͘͘ͅ ̶̛̬̬̳̪̣̦̰̗̥͔̳͛͋̈́̓́̏̈́͂̏̋̀̌ ̷̡̨̗̯̭̙̼̟̞̲̏͐̐̈́̇̈̈́̊̎͜͝ͅͅ ̶̢̦̖̟̩̭̗̍͌̈͋͌̿͊̃́̆̆͠͝ ̷̺͂̈́̌̍͘̚͠ ̶̧̦̪̙̙͚̼̘̈́̈̉̐͝W̶̗͊̿̀̑̄

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\---Friday, June 1st, 7:47am---

 

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : holy LORD

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : WHICH ONE OF YALL JUST SCREAMED LIKE A FUCKING MADMAN

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : WOKE ME UP FROM BEING THE BIG SPOON

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : don’t lie ur obviously the little spoon

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : correct

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HEYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : ok but who did scream??

 

 **_holy fuck its sans undertale_ ** _is online_

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : ANGIE I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FIGHT YOU

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : what happened????

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : guess who i found

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : taped to my wall

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : A G A I N

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : :33

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : FDRTYJHGFERTYUHYDREWERTYUGYDRESW

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : HGFDFDSERTGFDESWERTGFRDEWSERTGTREWSERTGFDSWERFDSWERTYHDSAQ

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : AHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHhaHAHha

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : you taped kiyo to ryoma’s wall?? again??

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : yep!

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : i love you. lets get married

 

 **_agar.io is basically just a vore orgy_ ** _is online_

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : AHEM

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : ANGIE I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : I WAS IN UR ROOM LAST NIGHT NOW YOURE CHEATING ON ME

 

 **nyahh :3** : …I’m sorry, what?

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : uh

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : ah, I lied yesterday! sorry everyone! 3:

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : here is the full story:

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : knowing that kiyo was on his way to harm miu, i left my room.

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i found him in the hallway, and gagged him.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : kinky

 

 **kaegay** : you say it so calmly what the fu

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i then went to ryoma’s room to tape him against the wall.

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : without waking me up????

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i carried you out to the bathroom in ur room and closed the door :)

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i don’t weigh anything to you?

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : no, its like holding a few grapes

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : and you were curled in a ball like a sleeping cat

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : JAHGAFAAFCDRTAYUQKJMA

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : then i went to see miu, and invited her to sleep in my dorm!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : why?

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : i missed her :(

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : that’s code for “i was incredibly horny”

 

 **_yaint goin tuh heaven_ ** _kicked **ouma wa mou shindeiru** from the chat_

 

 **yaint goin tuh heaven** : fucka you

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : i love you so much

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : gay! wonderful

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _joined the chat_

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **yaint goin tuh heaven** ’s name to **horny! at the church**_

 

 **horny! at the church** : god will not forgive you

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : payback ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : that’s the new miu x angie ship name

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : holy shit!!! is that a motherfucking fall out boy reference???

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …uh

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : kaito u dumbfuck

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : its obvs green day

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : guys,

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : my chemical romance!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : guy s,,,,,

 

 **kaegay** : EH

 

 **kaegay** : EH

 

 **kaegay** : EVANESCENCE

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : **N O,,,,,,,,,,,,**

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : u know what

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : its time for a username change

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : its been 162 days since a mass username change so

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …hes right

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : exactly right

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : last time it happened was December 21st, 2017.

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : wrow

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anyways lets start! say goodbye to ur current usernames we switchin it up!!

 

 **ass ass in** : finally good god

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **ass ass in** ’s name to **sass ass sin**_

****

**sass ass sin** : ugh

****

**agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : that’s not even that different????

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : how dare you, kokichi! D:<

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : i got this, maki roll!

 

 **_whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read_ ** _changed **sass ass in** ’s name to **maki roll**_

 

 **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** : >:DD

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : …

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : …hmm…

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **whattup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read** ’s name to **nonthreatening feminist boy**_

 

 **nyahh :3** : AHGFDAYHGFDAERTYUJZHGFDSRATYUJZHGFDSRATYUZHGFDEARYUZHGF

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : HOLY SHIT

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : AHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : HMPH

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …what?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you know

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : “Im a nonthreatening feminist boy, come talk to me on Skype! talk to me on skype about your problems as a woman i sympathize i’m taking womens studies. I took women’s studies I know what ‘systematic’ means. Man I’m so horny today. Sorry. I’m sorry. I feel so bad. I just came out and said it. Inappropriate. What do you like to do when you’re horny? One feminist to another. Just normal feminist over here. What do you think of this unlabelled image of my cock? I sent it to you titled “image.PNG”. Are you surprised by its girth? I apologize. How rude of me. I’m so sorry. I really need to get better at this I’m sorry. I’m learning so much. All humans must go through growth and I know that better than anyone, I mean I’m in a women’s studies class right now. Liveblogging my women’s studies class.”

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : READING THIS HAS MADE ME INCREDIBLY ANGRY

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : JHGFEYUJHGFDERTYUJHGFDWUHGFDEWER$%YUHGFDW

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : kaito? you actually read that?

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : yeah ofc?

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : but… i thought you were…

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : jared….. 19…

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : oh GOOD LORD

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : HESSSSSSSS NEVER FUCKINNNNG LEARNED HOWTO READD

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anyways uhh

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **maki roll** ’s name to **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee**_

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : i

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : what the fuck???

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : GFDHGFDSERTYJHGFDSERTYHCSWE

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : whatever

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : lets just move on

 

 **kaegay** : you’re taking this well?

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : yeah but im a tired bitch rn

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : give me a few hours before lose it

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : maki goes HAM

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : ham going MAKI

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ham me the ham maki

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : get maki hammed

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : maki rolled hamham

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : h

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ham

 

 **nyahh :3** : ok i must be really tired because this is making me laugh like crazy

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : hamiko hameno

 

 **nyahh :3** : JJJJJAJHGSAHJKajhfcaFIGFADWRTQYUIAKJHTRSDWFHQKA

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : himiko are you okay???

 

 **nyahh :3** : ham not

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ok so….

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im just gonna take one for the team

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **i stuck my dick in an anthill once** ’s name to **absolute unit**_

**im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …really????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OH COME ON SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT

 

 **absolute unit** : gonta no understand?

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : neither do i, big guy

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OOOF FINE

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **absolute unit** ’s name to **welcome to macdawnalds do you want a phucking beeschurger**_

****

**_kaegay_ ** _changed **welcome to macdawnalds do you want a phucking beeschurger** ’s name to **beeschurger**_

 

 **kaegay** : no swearing you little bitch

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ugh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : fine mom #2

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : anyways

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **kaegay** ’s name to **spiders are kinda hot tbh**_

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 

 **spiders are kinda hot tbh** : K O K I C H I

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : CURSEDDDDDDDDDD

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK

 

 **spiders are kinda hot tbh** : HOW DARE YOU

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : …kokichi is that a reference to kirumi?

 

 **mother hates all of you but kaede** : oh

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : EYYEEHEHHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHHEHEHHEHEH

 

 **_im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu_ ** _changed **spiders are kinda hot tbh** ’s name to **i thought you were american**_

 

 **i thought you were american** : much better, thanks boo

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : yw

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : god you are no fun!!!!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : that’s not what you said last night

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : WROW

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : COUGHCOUGH COUGH UH MOVIN ALONG

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **mother hates all of you but kaede** ’s name to **bohemian rhapsody, line 16**_

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : …what?

 

 **horny! at the church** : i don’t get it.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : google it up, shitlord

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : ok so i looked it up and

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : “mama, ooooo”

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : ah.

 

 **horny! at the church** : OOOOOOH I SEE

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : bokichi u haven’t changed my name yet im disappointed

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : is that an invitation??

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : yeap

 

 **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** : give it your worst

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : can’t be any worse than the name you have now

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **agar.io is basically just a vore orgy** ’s name to **build god, then we’ll fuck**_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : now you and angie have matching names :3

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : HEELLLL YEAAAAHHHH

 

 **horny! at the church** : divine!

 

 **freeshovacadoo** : wow, two green day references!!

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : rant……..rantaro…….

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : please…… not again….. im not strong enough…….

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hmm

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **freeshovacadoo** ’s name to **homme d'herbe d'avocat**_

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : wHat?????

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : avocado weed man!!!!!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : BITCH that translation is HORRIBLE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh that’s cause i used google translate

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : im not half Eiffel tower like you ranty

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : hasghahHgfdt it SHOULD be “homme tabac avocat” or something similar

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hon hon baguette

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : holy fucking chri

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : well whatevs

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ill keep this name

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : GOOD!

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : who’s nexT?

 

 **_instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster_ ** _is online_

**ouma wa mou shindeiru** : perfect

 

 **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** : i feel as if ive walked into something horrible.

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in a toaster** ’s name to **nerf bastion 2k18**_

**naruto is my senpai** : RTYUJHGFDERTYUJHGFDERTYUJHGFDERTYUJHGFDSWETYUJHGFDSWETY

 

 **naruto is my senpai** : GOOD GOOD FINALLY A CAMPAIGN I CAN GET BEHIND

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ARE YOU CALLING ME OUT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : OF FUCKING COURSE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : SINCE YOU WONT STOP USING BASTION

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : FUCKA YOU HIS BIRB IS CUTE

 

 **i thought you were american** : oh my god he said birb

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : USE JUNKRAT OR SMTH

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : NO????? I DO WHAT I WANT

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : BITCH

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : DAMN

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : US BASTION MAINS BE OPPRESSED :((

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : …i have no idea what’s going on but please do not use me as a vessel to make a statement against rantaro.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : you can’t stop me

 

 **holy fuck its sans undertale** : junkrat sucks I main Winston

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : y

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _change **holy fuck its sans undertale** ’s name to **sad little man**_

****

**im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : mood

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : beeg mood

 

 **sad little man** : ugh

 

 **sad little man** : i shoulda expected this

 

 **sad little man** : can someone change it to something cat related? id much prefer that

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : ye ye i gotchu fam

 

 **sad little man** : thank

 

 **_build god, then we’ll fuck_ ** _changed **sad little man** ’s name to **pussy lover**_

****

**pussy lover** : i am,,,,, a fool,,, a buffoon……

 

 **pussy lover** : a moron…..,,,,..

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : That’s your fault for handing over the power to Miu.

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : NYAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA

 

 **nyahh :3** : oh shes laughing like angie!! gfs

 

 **horny! at the church** : :DD

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : HEY TENNIS BALLS U WANTED SMTH CAT RELATED SO I GAVE

 

 **pussy lover** : hmmm

 

 **pussy lover** : no

 

 **_pussy lover_ ** _changed their name to **sad little man**_

 

 **sad little man** : back to depression

 

 **sad little man** : back on my bullshit

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : alrightalright ANYWAYS

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **nyahh :3** ’s name to **magic! magic! uwu**_

****

**i thought you were american** : MYSTERY SKULLS!!!!!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : I LOVE IT

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : OH YEAH I LOVE THAT SONGG

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : WHAT A BOP

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : …this name is acceptable

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : HAHA THANK YOU

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : …so no ones gonna mention the “uwu” huh

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : nope

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : understandable. have an incredible day

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : alright tenko your turn

 

 **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** : plan your next move very carefully.

**_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **i want a stronk woman to kill me in my sleep** ’s name to **tiddy sof and warm**_

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : …….valid

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : oh worm??

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and on that same note

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **naruto is my senpai** ’s name to **girl hot. watch naruto**_

****

**girl hot. watch naruto** : ANOTHER NARUTO USERNAME?? GIVE IT A RESTT

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : THERES MORE ANIME THAN JUST NARUTO YKNOW

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : naruto? i think you mean

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : don’t do it

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : boruto’s dad??

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : that’s it

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : rantaro weekly nail painting meetings are cancelled

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : AH FUCK

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : MY BEATIFUL SOLIDARITY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okoko so who’s left

 

 **_vorekiyo shingucci_ ** _is online_

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : I’m back

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : DDFGHGFDEJHDRERTYUJHGYRFDWERTYJHTRDE

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT YOU

 

 **sad little man** : oh yeah

 

 **sad little man** : i left my room this morning and didn’t take him down

 

 **sad little man** : im in the living room rn i just heard a loud rip

 

 **sad little man** : if my wall is chipped of paint AGAIN, i will NOT hesitate bitch.

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : …im sorry, are you ryoma?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : oh ye we did some username changes while you were TTRW

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : TTRW?

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : Taped To Ryoma’s Wall

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : ah

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : and you arrived just in time for me to change yours! :D

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : then do it.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : uhh

 

 **vorekiyo shingucci** : what are you waiting for? change it.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : ajjajjajjajajhshshhajjaj

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : okokk

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **vorekiyo shingucci** ’s name to **im so fucking tempted to make a minion joke but i must hold back**_

****

**im so fucking tempted to make a minion joke but i must hold back** : wrong answer. you have 2 minutes

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : AHHAHAHHAHHASKSKAJHJHS SORRY SORRY

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : FUCK UHHH

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **im so fucking tempted to make a minion joke but i must hold back** ’s name to **korky korky anthropology club**_

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : you were on thin fucking ice

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : hahaha sweats nervously

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : guys.

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : you should all be getting ready to go to class.

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : IN A MINUTE MOM

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : I STILL GOTTA CHANGE SHU’s NAME

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : w

 

 **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** : oh no

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : shit

 

 **_ouma wa mou shindeiru_ ** _changed **im kin with kirigiri no doubles uwu** ’s name to **dick gumshu**_

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : get it? its an ace attorney reference! :D

 

 **dick gumshu** : ….

 

 **dick gumshu** : …i like it

 

 **ouma wa mou shindeiru** : of course you do! :D

 

 **dick gumshu** : now

 

 **dick gumshu** : PERISH

 

 **_dick gumshu_ ** _changed **ouma wa mou shindeiru** ’s name to **grape panta on my tiny balls**_

****

**build god, then we’ll fuck** : HHHHHHOLY SHIT

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : JHGFDRTYUJFDRTYUJHDERTYUJVCDERTYUJHGFDERTYUJN

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : TAKE THAT U LITTLE BITCH

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : BRO HOYLY FUCK

 

 **i thought you were american** : OWOOWOWOOWOWOOWOOWOOWOWOOWOWO

 

 **horny! at the church** : DIVINE!!!!!

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : AND THE DEGENERATE GOES DOWN!!

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : I believe this is what you’d call, “being wrecked”

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : HAHHAHHSHHAHAHHAHAHHA

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : i have new respect for you, shuichi

 

 **beeschurger** : what happen to kokichi?

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : RETRIBUTION

 

 **sad little man** : JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : h

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : i hate this fucking family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new names!
> 
> kaede: i thought you were american  
> shuichi: dick gumshu  
> kokichi: grape panta on my tiny balls  
> rantaro: homme d'herbe d'avocat  
> korekiyo: korky korky anthropology club  
> tsumugi: girl hot. watch naruto  
> himiko: magic! magic! uwu  
> tenko: tiddy sof and warm  
> angie: horny! at the church  
> miu: build god, then we'll fuck  
> ryoma: sad little man  
> gonta: beeschurger  
> kirumi: bohemian rhapsody, line 16  
> keebo: nerf bastion 2k18  
> maki: sassa ass ass sassy enee enee  
> kaito: nonthreatening feminist boy


	17. The Beginning of the End of an Era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School doesn't go on forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOO???????? THIS WAS HELL TO EDIT
> 
> uhhh so since its summer vacation, this means chapters won't take place in the dorms. instead they'll be texting each other from wherever they're spending the summer!!!  
> next chapter is out either tomorrow or the day after!
> 
> sooo I finally have my own personal computer!!! this should mean more fics!! (I actually have 3 planned, and ofc THBOK is updating soon!!!)
> 
>  
> 
> its my birthday on the 22nd lol
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for 18,000 hits hOLY SHIT
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you like this!!!

—-Thursday, June 14th, 12:48pm—-

 

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : hey everyone!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : how yall doing???

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : eh

 

 **dick gumshu** : alright

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so, as you all know, tomorrow is the last day of school before summer break.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so it’s the last time we’ll all be together for 3 months.

 

 **beeschurger** : :(

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : some of us live close together, but some of us are leaving, right?

 

 **horny! at the church** : yes!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : SO

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : to commemorate this

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : we’re doing smth

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : oh not a game

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** nah.. well sorta

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so basically

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : each person here has to say what they’re doing over the summer, and also

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : say 1 thing about everyone else

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so like. id have to say something about all 15 of you

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : hey, im down.

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : aight

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : …fine

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : and like. youre aloud to say smth funny but BLEASE be somewhat nice for everyone k. yes. even me.

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : k

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : hng

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so. ill start.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : i’m finally gonna see D.I.C.E. again!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so u can’t visit me ;)

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : (except for shu, cause he’s smart and found the location!!!)

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : OK SOOO

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : KAEDE

 

 **i thought you were american** : oh boy uh

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : this wlw/mlm solidarity we have is incredible and ur like,,, perfect??? like goddamn

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : you’re a great 2ndmom I lov u

 

 **i thought you were american** : awww! ty wow I wasn’t expecting that

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : RANTARO

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ur the memiest friend on the planet and ur downright annoying at times but id totally fuck you no homo tho

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : …thanks? hasghghas

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : kiyo

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ngl you’re hella creepy but you getting taped to ryoma’s wall twice and scaring the shit out of him was the funniest fucking thing to ever happen at this school

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : also I have your minion rant framed on the wall of my room

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : …really?

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : TSUMUGI

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ur a huge fuckin weeb and I don’t understand half the shit you say but you have good taste in anime men

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : YOU ADMITTED IT

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yep

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : naruto a snacc

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : OH F U C K OFF

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : maki

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I know you don’t like me. I don’t know how many times you’ve threatened to kill me, but it was a lot.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I know I annoy the hell out of you, but really, I do admire you.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You came out of a cold and dangerous place, but you still made efforts to befriend the people here.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You’ve been able to remove your mask, and I respect you for that.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : So really, even if I may say something that annoys you, I truly look up to you.

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : what the hell

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : where are the memes

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : hm?

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : you’re supposed to say something funny

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : no, I’m saying how I feel.

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : …

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : …thank you…

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : what just happened

 

 **sad little man** : that… holy shit

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ANYWAYS NUMBER 15

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : there e is

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : MIU

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You’re cool! A bit gross sometimes but still cool! And u and angie are couple GOALS

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : eyyyyyyyy ty man

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ryoma

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You’re strong as hell. I know dealing with depression is tough, but you’re so much tougher.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : Just remember, you have friends that can help you.

 

 **sad little man** : thanks, man. really.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : kirumi!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : mom. the og mom.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You’re amazing for putting up with all of us, including me

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I’m so happy you found a girlfriend who loves you as much as you deserve!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : love ya

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : That’s so sweet, thank you.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : keebs!

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : …

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : Listen some of the stuff I have said throughout the year wasn’t the nicest

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : but I never want to make you uncomfortable

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : even though you’re a robot, you’re so human!! a marvel of science and robotics, but human!!

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : Well, thank you :)

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : kaito

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You’re like, my 2ndbest friend after Rantaro

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : Uhm you’re strong and honestly??? hot

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : W H A T

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : srsly

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : thanks I guess????

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : GONTA

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : GOD UR SO PRECIOUS WHEN YOU SMILEEE

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : BEST BOY GREATEST BOY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **beeschurger** : thank you!!! :D

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : angie!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : uhm… I don’t really talk to you that much but you’re cool

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : and you draw????? so good??? like WOW

 

 **horny! at the church** : atua thanks you!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : himiko!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : short person solidarity also wlw/mlm solidarity

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : also you’re always tired, which is, like, a mood

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : nyeh

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : tenko!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : both of us are violently homosexual so that’s good

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I know I’m a degenerate male but I do think you’re cool

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : ……..well, thanks

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : and now.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I saved the best for last.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : Shuichi

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : god, I just….. I love you so much???

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : when you told me you liked me I nearly died because I never thought someone could think of me that way

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : And I had a huge crush on you but I was just the annoying lying kid so I never thought…

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : but these last months with you have been the greatest time of my life

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : you’re smart, sweet, kind, shy but you’re so perfect and I just

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I love you so fucking much. Really.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : You’re my world <3333333

 

 **dick gumshu** : i

 

 **dick gumshu** : i

 

 **_dick gumshu_ ** _went offline_

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : oh my fucking god he fuckin dead

 

 **_grape panta on my tiny balls_ ** _went offline_

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : oh my fucking god _he_ fuckin dead

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : shuichi just sped by my room at top speed

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : he bolted out the door at an alarming velocity.

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : looking out the window, he’s running to schoolhouse??

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : tf is he doing?? escaping??

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : nah

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : i’m in the quad right now and he just appeared, made direct eye contact with kokichi

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : … and they’re kissing now

 

 **_nonthreatening feminist boy_ ** _sent an image_

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : AWWWWWWWW

 

 **i thought you were american** : :D!!!!!!!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : CUTE

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : SOMEONE JUST YELLED “YASSSSSS QUEEEEEN”

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : JHFSJHGAYUJHGSFRTYUAJHGF **B** OOD

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : I’m not sure who it was but I think it was Junko

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : SKJSJHAGHJHGSHJKA IT WAS JUNKO

 

 **_grape panta on my tiny balls_ ** _i_ _s online_

**_dick gumshu_ ** _is online_

**grape panta on my tiny balls** : holy shit that was an out of body experience

 

 **dick gumshu** : I don’t even run that fast in gym class

 

 **i thought you were american** : god yall are gonna kill me

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ok so… lets continue!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : hmmm…

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : Angie, you go!

 

 **horny! at the church** : :o

 

 **horny! at the church** : ok!

 

 **horny! at the church** : kokichi, you are a sinner because you lie, but I forgive you because Atua forgives you! <33

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : well damn uh……shit lmao

 

 **horny! at the church** : Kaede’s music pleases Atua very much! You are clearly blessed with music! :DD

 

 **horny! at the church** : Tenko, you are such a good friend! You’re very nice! I like you a lot!

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : awwwwww ILYSM!!!!!!!

 

 **horny! at the church** : himiko is the cutest little thing! I love you!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : :3

 

 **horny! at the church** : Kiyo, you scare me at times, but you are very smart and cool!

 

 **horny! at the church** : Tsumugi, thank you for introducing me to some new shows!

 

 **horny! at the church** : Ryoma, you are so strong! And brave! <33

 

 **sad little man** : why am I cryign in the club rn

 

 **horny! at the church** : Kaito, you are so enthusiastic! :DD

 

 **horny! at the church** : Maki, you are tough! And cool!

 

 **horny! at the church** : Shuichi, you are so CUTE!!!

 

 **dick gumshu** : ahha,,… thanks

 

 **horny! at the church** : GONTA! I LOVE YOU!

 

 **beeschurger** : thank you! :DD

 

 **horny! at the church** : keebo, you are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **horny! at the church** : Rantaro! You must stop smoking weed, though I still love you!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : OH FFS

 

 **horny! at the church** : Kirumi, mother, thank you for dealing with our shit!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : YOOOOOOOOO DID SHE JUST SWEAR

 

 **horny! at the church** : n so what if I did bitch

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : DAMN

 

 **horny! at the church** : ok! Now for the last one!

 

 **horny! at the church** : MIU!

 

 **horny! at the church** : MY LOVE, MY ANGEL!

 

 **horny! at the church** : You are the greatest and prettiest person I’ve ever seen!

 

 **horny! at the church** : I have seen countless works of art, but you are by far the most gorgeous! no painting could encapsulate your beauty <3

 

 **horny! at the church** : I am so sorry that I can not be with you this summer, but i will message you every day!!!!

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : h

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : im fcucking crying

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : ANGIEEEEEEEEEE

 

 **horny! at the church** : I love everyone very much!!! <<<33

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : holy shit Ange i would die for you

 

 **horny! at the church** : you will.

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** :

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** :

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** :

 

 **dick gumshu** :

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** :

 

 **i thought you were american** :

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** :

 

 **sad little man** :

 

 **beeschurger** :

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** :

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** :

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** :

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** :

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** :

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : anyways, moving on,

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : _@ **i thought you were american**_ square up bih

 

 **i thought you were american** : oh man

 

 **i thought you were american** : uhhh my parents aren’t home for 2 weeks so im gonna be home alone

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : you’re rich, right??? live in a mansion??

 

 **i thought you were american** : i wouldn’t call it that.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : kaede ive seen your house its HUGE

 

 **i thought you were american** : ANYWAYS

 

 **i thought you were american** : so ill start with shuichi!

 

 **i thought you were american** : you’re my bestttttt friend!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

 

 **dick gumshu** : <33

 

 **i thought you were american** : :DD!!!! <333

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ew

 

 **i thought you were american** : kokichi you’re annoying but, like, you’re the little bro i never had

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : OH SHIT!!!!!!!! TY

 

 **i thought you were american** : rantaro. buddy.

 

 **i thought you were american** : solidarity

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : YEAAAAH!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : uhhhhh tenko

 

 **i thought you were american** : the most greatest and chaotic lesbian I’ve ever met

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : MY HEART IS FULL OF LOVE FOR KAEDE AKAMATSU!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : gonta

 

 **i thought you were american** : i would die for you

 

 **beeschurger** : please do not D:>

 

 **i thought you were american** : ryoma

 

 **i thought you were american** : you’re so cool and strong!!!!!!!!

 

 **sad little man** : :)

 

 **i thought you were american** : MAKI!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : GOD MAKI I LOVE YOU WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : awww :)

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : *snaps a pic*

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yup, this ones going in my cringe compilation >:3

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : school ends tomorrow do not make me kill you

 

 **i thought you were american** : kaito!

 

 **i thought you were american** : space is cool, i agree with you

 

 **i thought you were american** : just know that if you n maki didn’t end up dating I would be in a nice relationship with both maki and kirumi

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : not wrong

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : :’)

 

 **i thought you were american** : hey kiyo

 

 **i thought you were american** : I know we joke that you’re scary but 1. you totally are 2. i do actually think you’re cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : ang n miu are the most chaotic fucking couple in existence jfc

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : true

 

 **horny! at the church** : true

 

 **i thought you were american** : himi is so fcuckig cute im quaking,,,,,,,…,

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : :3

 

 **i thought you were american** : _@ **girl hot. watch naruto**_ you’re sexy

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : KHSXKXAJHGJHJZAHSJAHHJGSHKJHGHJ!!!!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : keebo you’re jusT!! I LOVE YOU

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : o////o

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : holy fuck keebo just used an ADVANCED emoticon!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : anyways last but not least

 

 **i thought you were american** : MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : CAUSE HOLY SHIT I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : KIRUMI BABYYYYYY I LOVE YOU

 

 **i thought you were american** : YOU’RE THE GREATEST PERSON EVER AND YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : I love you two <33

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : she added two 3s

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : thats genuine love right there

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : whats that noise??

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : yooo is kirumi crying??

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : ah, no, that would be kaede.

 

 **i thought you were american** : im jsut,,,,,, so full of love.,,.,,…for my glrirlfriend,,ddd,,

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : same!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : AIGHT NOW

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : KIYO YOURE UP

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : ah. very well.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : I will be visiting a village rich with culture, to further my studies into anthropology.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : and hopefully discover a new potential kink

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** :

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : bare with me, I’m not the best with expression.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : tenko, himiko, you seem to tolerate me to an extent. so do i.

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : do i?

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : :/

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : h

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : kaede, kirumi, and shuichi, your talents are marvelous. you are all very skilled.

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : Thank you.

 

 **dick gumshu** : <:)

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : ryoma, you are the person I tolerate the most here.

 

 **sad little man** : glad to hear it.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : Miu, it pains me to say that the only thing about you that interest me in the slightest are your wild but questionable sexual fantasies.

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : BITCH??????????????????????

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : JSKJHGSHJAHGYHAJHGAKJHJGHA UHHH THANKS I GUESS

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : angie, I have not forgiven you, and I doubt I ever will.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : I don’t think I need to specify what I am talking about.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : no no, please do.

 

 **horny! at the church** : >:3

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : I will not.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : Gonta, your oblivious innocence is truly astounding, considering who it is you live with.

 

 **beeschurger** : Gonta no understand?

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : exactly my point.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : Rantaro, it was interested talking about the many places you’ve visited.

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : :DDDD

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : Maki, your take-no-shit attitude is remarkable.

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : thanks

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : though I must wonder how you ended up with a boy like Kaito.

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : WH

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : I gotta wonder sometimes, too.

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : WH??????

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : tsumugi, the anime you watch was interesting to view, I suppose.

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : thats a win!!

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : Keebo, we were never able to connect.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : my talent revolves on studying humans, which you are not.

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18:**  D:<

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : though, you are… interesting to observe.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : creepy.

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : you, kokichi, are insufferable.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : tell me smthing i dont know bitch!!

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : though your behaviour is quite an anomaly, which is entertaining to monitor.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : even creepier but thank!!

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : and that’s the end.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : alright damn

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yo space man your turn

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : hell yeah!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Im goin home to my grandparent’s place! i’ll also be studying more space stuff! >:)))

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : SHUICHI MY BRO! You’re the greatest sidekick!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : I’m so proud of how far you’ve come! :D

 

 **dick gumshu** : sniff….. ty….

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Maki Roll!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : I love you! And you’re so strong and capable, always putting me in my place when I say something wrong!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : You’re awesomee!!!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : ….thanks :)

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Kokichi, you can be cool sometimes.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : im hurt

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Tsumugi, voltron watching sessions were awesome!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : season 6 comes out in 2 days, wanna get together and watch it at my place?

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : OH SHIT HELL YES!!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : sweet!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Rantaro!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : i still dont know if you have a dick piercing or not

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ??????????WH

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : AHAHHAH YOU’RE COOL THO!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Ryoma, buddy, you’re tough as hell! I believe in you, buddy, you will get better!

 

 **sad little man** : hnGG

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Gonta, bro, you’re so big n full of love!!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Kaede your music is kickass!!!!!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : THNKSS

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : ‘rumi you deal with so much shit on a daily basis

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : but you still manage to stay sane!!

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : you think I’m sane?

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : hheh,,,, uh

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : tenko, ange, himi

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : name a more iconic trio. ill wait

 

 **horny! at the church** : :DDDDDDDD

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : hmph

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : nyeh, ty

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Miu!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : you make me question so much shit but you’re still cool!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : Kiyo!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** :

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : i actually dont know what to say

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : uh

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : keep being weird??

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : you got it

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : keebo!!! keep learnin!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** was that everyone??

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yepyep!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : awight maki your turn

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : ugh

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : I’m not doing anything during the summer.

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : really?

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : I’ve nowhere to go

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : I can’t go back to the orphanage

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : then come with me!!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : what?

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : you can stay over at my place!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : my grandparents would be thrilled to have you over!!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : …

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : …I don’t know.

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : you don’t have to if you dont want to!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : …ill… think about it.

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : in the meantime

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : _@ **nonthreatening feminist boy**_ thanks for the great year, babe

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : >:D!!!!!!!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : uhh

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : _@ **i thought you were american**_ love you too

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : _@ **magic! magic! uwu**_ i would fucking kill for you

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : :3

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : i wanna squish your cheeks

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : :33

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : what the fuck

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : _@ **grape panta on my tiny balls**_ *cocks gun*

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : haha you said cock

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** :

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : Kiyo you’re a goddamn weirdo

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : But you’ve threatened to kill half the class so you’ve earned my respect

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : uhhhhhhh im not good with this

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : miu

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : fuck you

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : but like in a nice way

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : ??????????????

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : aight then

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : angie your religion is weird

 

 **horny! at the church** : thank you!!! :DD

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : that

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : nvm

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : tenko you hate degenerate males, which means you hate kokichi and thats? valid

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : DSID YOU JSUT SAY VALID

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : >:DDDDDDD

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : uhm

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : Kirumi you’re not annoying, so you’re cool

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : thank you?

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : Keebo, Rantaro, Gonta, I don’t talk to you that often but you’re all pretty nice

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : ryoma you are incredibly relatable

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : i, too, want to die 24/7

 

 **sad little man** : eyyy

 

 **dick gumshu** : guys thats,,,, not healthy,,,

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : shuichi I would rob all the stars from the sky to make you happy

 

 **dick gumshu** : :’D

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : Tsumugi, you’re… actually one of the nicest people here

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : thanks for being tolerable

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : !!!

 

 

 

//

 

** Private Conversation **

****

**amams and tsu**

 

 **amams** : tsumugi I see you frm across the room

 

 **amams** : why are you blushing??

 

//

 

 

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : k maki you’re done!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : oh thank god

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : and uhh

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : Kaito?

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : hm??

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : i’ll take you up on your offer.

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : HELL YEAH!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : awww thats so cute!!!! :DD

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : we’ll discuss this later, maki roll!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ANYWAYS

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : hhhhhhmmmmm who’s next???

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ranty! your turn!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : oh yay

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : so uhhhh this summer im going to europe, i’ve got relatives there n you know

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : OK NOW ILL START WITH KOKICHI

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ur like,,, my best friend! i’d say you were like a brother to me but only ten minutes ago you said, and i quote, “i’d totally fuck you no homo tho”

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : eh eh

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : SHUICHI

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : i would kill for you also i lowkey had a crush on you at one point

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : you have good tastes

 

 **dick gumshu** : WAIT WH

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : TSUMUGI!!!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : you have no idea how many cis straight people i have pissed off while showing off the nails you painted for me

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : bcuz apparently males can’t paint their nails without being gay

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

 

 **dick gumshu** : but you are gay?

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : sure am

 

 **dick gumshu** :

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : kaito my bro!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : totally had a crush on you at one point but like you’re a chaotic dumbass

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : and you aren’t?

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : OOOOOF

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : SHUT THE FUCK OFF KAITO

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : YOU JUST SAID YOU HAD A CRUSH ON ME AT ONE POINT

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : OK UHHHH ANGIE

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : cryptic queen, we stan

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : tho i feel like if i were to die, it would be because you killed me

 

 **horny! at the church** : yep!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** :

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : …..m,,,,,…,,maki

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : you could kill be an id thank you. love you!!! keep fighting!!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : kiyo I had a lowkey crush on you at one point n now you’re just the cryptid cryptic king

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : ???thanks???

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : good LORD how many crushes did you HAVE

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ah but crushing on literally every boy you’ve ever laid eyes on is peak gay culture

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : nah nah

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : crushing on every girl you’ve ever laid eyes on is peak lesbian culture!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : nah thats just tenko culture

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : >:O

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : JSHJSHGDHJSHGHJHGDUJSHGYHSHUG TRUE

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : mom!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : sorry you have to deal with kokichi, you’re awesome!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : wtHAT THE FCUCK

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : himiko, tenko, ur like my lesbian sisters

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : kaede, kirumi, my lesbian moms

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : my ever expanding legion of lesbian family members

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : i would say miu n angie are my lesbian aunts but they’re both pan and i have actual lesbian aunts sooo

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : GONTA!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : might’ve had a crush on you at one point too hah LOVE YOUU

 

 **sad little man** : expected nothing less

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : LOVE YOU TOO RYOMAA

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : and…..,. keebo…,,

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : let me guess, you had a crush on him too?

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ….

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ……..yeah……..

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : and……..i still………….do

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : w

 

 **dick gumshu** : o

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** :WHHWHHWHWHWHHWHWHHWHHHWWQI WAitAtAt

 

 **i thought you were american** : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **horny! at the church** : OWO??????

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : OOOEOEOOEOEHHEIOEOEOIEIOEIIOOIEOIEE

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : soooo this is me asking you out, i guess???

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : :’)))

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : i

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : i

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : w

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : hhnjhg

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : iiiiii

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : **_DOES NOT COMPUTE_**

 

 **_nerf bastion 2k18_ ** _went offline_

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : shit he dead

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : OH MY GOD???????

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : some of keebo’s functions are linked to his school pad so he can see n send messages from his head

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : sooooooo good job ranty you literally made him break down what the fuck!!!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : SHITSHITSHIT

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : UHHHHHHHHH

 

 **_homme d’herbe d’avocat_ ** _went offline_

**_girl hot. watch naruto_ ** _went offline_

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : this could end two ways

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : keebo fucking dies,

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : or toko has some fodder for her abstract fetish porn folder

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : her W  H  A  T

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : SHUT THE UP!!!!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : IM GONNA FUCK YOU

 

 **dick gumshu** : ???????????????????

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : **_??????????????????????????????_**

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : FUCK YOU UP IM GONNA FUCK YOU UP

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : disappointing :(

 

 **sad little man** : thtis is getting out of hand

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : aight so since rant is out of commission,,,

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : uhhhhh

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : himiko you go!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : nyeh. fine

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : not really doing much of anything this summer, im going home

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : unlike you all im gonna start with the love of my life

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : tenko if anything happened to you i would kill everyone

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : ….and then yourself?

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : no

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : because that would make tenko sad

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : HHHSSBSBSBBSBSBHBHSBHSBHJNSJSBHSHSSHBSHBHSBSBHSHBSBHBSHBSBHSBHBSHBHSBSBHBSHBHSBHSBHBSBHSBHSBHBHSBHSHBHSBHSBHBHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : lmao gay

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : HIMIKOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHAHHAH <33333333333333333333333

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : you triple gay

 

 **i thought you were american** : no u

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : no u

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : no u

 

 **sad little man** : no u

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : no u

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : no u

 

 **dick gumshu** : no u

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : roblox death noise bass boosted

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : nyehxt are my moms

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : both of u are hecking valid

 

 **i thought you were american** : <3!!!!!!!!!

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : :)

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : angie ur my bestbest friend

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : also valid

 

 **horny! at the church** : :DDDD

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : miu

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : ur gross but, like, valid

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : i get that a lot

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : not the valid part tho

 

 **horny! at the church** : :(((((

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : rantaro

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : i believe in you buddy CLAIM that robo-ass

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : SJKKHKSHHSSKJS!!!!!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : gonta!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : baby boy. baby

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : kokichi!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : evil.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : unfair this is bullying

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : okok nvm she just dmed me saying she thought of me like a brother <333

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : DONT EXPOSE M

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : uuuhhhuh anyways

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : keebo

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : claim that avocado!!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : ryoma

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : short person solidarity

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : shuichi

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : nyeh…… toll

 

 **dick gumshu** : im not that tall though :’)

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : kiyo

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : you look like a pine tree

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : ???

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : not wrong.

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : maki, lowkey?? had a teensy crush on you at one point

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : its mutual

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : _@ **nonthreatening feminist boy**_ fucka you it couldve been great

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : AKKJSJKAKJSAKKHKHASASHHS SRRY???

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : lmao jk i couldnt be happier <333

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : <333

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : umm… tsumugi is last I think

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : loved our weekly anime sessions!!!

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : i officially am in love with mina ashido

 

 **_girl hot. watch naruto_ ** _is online_

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : SSKJJHHJAJGA MOOOOOOOOOD

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : eyyy mugi ur back from the dead!

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : i was busy checking on amiibo

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : ???

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : amami x kiibo

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : but we call him keebo?

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : shut your up cock itchy

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : WHWHHWHATTATTTTTTTTT

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : ANYWAYS

 

 **_girl hot. watch naruto_ ** _sent an image_

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : looks like we’ve got a new couple on our hands :)

 

 **i thought you were american** : AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YISS

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **_homme d’herbe d’avocat_ ** _is online_

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ok which one of you is screaming “YEAH BOIIIII” at the top of your lungs

 

 **dick gumshu** : not to snitch but

 

 **dick gumshu** : _@ **grape panta on my tiny balls**_

**grape panta on my tiny balls** : exposed lol

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : anyways yeh, me n keebo r gay, keep scrollin

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : soo! couple recap!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : bestest couple ever (me n shu <3), the straight one, art hoes, avocadoes n robots, BIGGGG lesbians, moms

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : anybody else!!

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : did you just call me n kaito the straight ones??

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : i am APPALLED

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : you used a big kid word! i’ve taught you well!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : maki has a teacher/student kink pass it on

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : i will kill you with my bare fucking hands do not test me

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : eheum ANYWAYS

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so gonta, ryoma, tsumugi and kiyo are the only singles left

 

 **sad little man** : …

 

 **sad little man** : …actually

 

 **sad little man** : uh

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ??

 

 **sad little man** : i’m dating gonta.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : hhUHHH

 

 **beeschurger** : :DD

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **horny! at the church** : OWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOOW

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : *pretends to be shocked*

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : >:O!!!!!!!!!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : SMALLEST BOI IS DATING TOLLEST BOI

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : never say that again or im breaking all 12 of ur kneecaps

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : WAITT SO IM THE ONLY SINGLE PERSON????

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO DATE NOW????

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : what about kiyo

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : no offence kiyo but i would literally rather die

 

 **korky korky anthropology club** : no offence taken. though i am pan, I find myself uninterested in dating.

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : just date someone else from either happy or super!

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : so many of them are in relationships already tho :(

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : i was sorta interested in junko but she and celeste have some unresolved sexual tension sooo

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : SJHJKJHSGHJSKJ TRUUUU

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : plus my crush is already in a relationship :(

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : wait

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : OHOHO WHATS THIS?? :O

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : NEVERMIND UHHHH NOTHING

 

 **_girl hot. watch naruto_ ** _went offline_

**homme d’herbe d’avocat** : OOOOO NO YOU DONT

**_homme d’herbe d’avocat_ ** _went offline_

 

 **dick gumshu** : i suggest we just… continue

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : hmmph

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : alrighttt

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : who wants to go next? >:3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I say this enough but... reading your comments literally make my day. I've been feeling discouraged about my work recently but seeing all your comments really make me happy <33


	18. The End of an Era, Beginning Of Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end...
> 
> ...of school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fucking FINALLY this dumb piece of shit is DONE
> 
> ughhh this sucks but I'm too tired to care!! goodbye!!  
> if you see any mistakes plz point them out ill correct them tomorrow
> 
> next chapter's already finished so it'll be posted tomorrow or after
> 
> also im advertising again, go read my original story:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938441/chapters/32085753

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:23pm---

 

_Conversation between **fuckin weed** and **anime**_

 

 

 

 **fuckin weed** : YO

 

 **fuckin weed** : whered you go??? I literally can’t find you anywhere

 

 **anime** : im hiding in shame

 

 **fuckin weed** : awwww come on tsu!!

 

 **anime** : I SAID SOMETHING I SHOULDN’T HAVE UGHH

 

 **anime** : NOW I GOTTA EXPLAIN IT

 

 **fuckin weed** : if you want, I can say it for you?

 

 **anime** : rantaro, buddy, soul bro,

 

 **anime** : I just don’t want anyone to know.

 

 **anime** : she can never know……

 

 **fuckin weed** : ah. so this IS what this is about.

 

 **fuckin weed** : listen

 

 **fuckin weed** : you’re going over to kaito’s soon, right??

 

 **anime** : yeah why

 

 **anime** : OH SHIT

 

 **fuckin weed** : YEEP

 

 **fuckin weed** : so, if you want this to be over,

 

 **fuckin weed** : tell her then.

 

 **fuckin weed** : she is staying over with him, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:23pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : big boy gonta you go

 

 **beeschurger** : !!!

 

 **beeschurger** : gonta is spending summer in cottage in forest!

 

 **beeschurger** : will study bugs! :D

 

 **beeschurger** : gonta not good at expressing feelings as much as gonta wants, so gonta will address everyone!

 

 **beeschurger** : gonta loves everyone! gonta is so happy he could meet all of you, you are gonta’s bestest friends ever! :))

 

 **beeschurger** : but gonta especially loves ryoma! :D

 

 **beeschurger** : you come long way out of your cocoon, and make friends with everyone!

 

 **beeschurger** : gonta is so proud of you! <33

 

 **sad little man** :

 

 **sad little man** : i

 

 **sad little man** : brb

 

 **_sad little man_ ** _went offline_

**_nonthreatening feminist boy_ ** _is online_

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : yo @ **sad little man** wtf you crying so damn loud for

 

 **i thought you were american** : scroll up

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : ah

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : that’s fair. id cry too

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : living up to his username it seems

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so uh

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I guess gonta’s done

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : @ **build god, then we’ll fuck** hey thot

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : FUCKKKK YOU JUST CALL ME??????

 

 **horny! at the church** : do not be angry, miu! :D

 

 **horny! at the church** : there was an Egyptian god whose name was pronounced thot!

 

 **horny! at the church** : he is merely comparing you to the ethereal presence of a god! <33

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : ah

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : well duh >:D

 

 **i thought you were american** : she’s blushing

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : FUCK OFF BAKAMATSU

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : ANYWAYS I GUESS ITS MY TURN SOOOO

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : THIS BITCH IS GOIN OVER TO PROF IIDABASHI’S TO STUDY HIS WORK IN ROBOTICS

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : this is true!

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : we will be ‘hanging out’ together a lot in this time!

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : YEP

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : K SO ILL START WITH KEEBS

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : YOURE THE GREATEST HUNK OF METAL ON THE PLANET!!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : wtf isn’t that robophobic

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : KOKICHI YOU’RE ACTUALLY, LIKE, MY BEST FRIEND SOOOO

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : im honoured!!!

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : UHHH WHO’S NEXT

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:27pm---

 

_Conversation between **detective pickashu** and  **grass type**_

 

 **detective pickashu** : is tsumugi ok?

 

 **grass type** : I’m texting her, but I can’t physically find her. at all.

 

 **detective pickashu** : oh dang

 

 **detective pickashu** : do you know why she ran away upset?

 

 **grass type** : sorry dude, can’t say.

 

 **detective pickashu** : I understand.

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:30pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : AND FINALLY, MY GIRLFRIEND

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : I STILL HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW WE BECAME A THING BUT I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART

 

 **horny! at the church** : <<<33333!!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : i

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : im sorry

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : but with miu’s sexual-ness and angie’s sexual-ness and her being the ultimate artist

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : all I can think of is that one episode of b99

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : where they go to this guy’s art gallery and he explains that all his works of art were made by covering himself and his girlfriend in paint and having sex on the canvas for 24 hours straight

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** :

 

 **horny! at the church** :

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : @ **horny! at the church** weekend plans??

 

 **horny! at the church** : angie doesn’t leave until Monday, so I am free! :D

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : be sure to show it to us

 

 **_dick gumshu_ ** _is online_

**dick gumshu** : PLEASE DO NOT

 

 **dick gumshu** : I DON’T THINK HAVING SEX WHILE COVERED IN PAINT IS SAFE

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : FUCK OFF SUCKICHI

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : IF YOU AND COCKITCHY CAN BE AS LOUD AS YOU WANT THEN LET US DO THIS ATLEAST

 

 **dick gumshu** : WHATSHSHSAHJJKAKALAKLLA

 

 **_dick gumshu_ ** _went offline_

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : you broke him??

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : COUGH COUGH ANYWAYS

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : mom your turn!

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : very well.

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:33pm---

 

_Conversation between **blue paladin** and  **green paladin**_

 

 

 

 **green paladin** : we still up for Friday??

 

 **blue paladin** : hell yeagh!!! >:D

 

 **green paladin** : good, good.

 

 **blue paladin** : but where are you??

 

 **blue paladin** : you haven’t come back online??

 

 **green paladin** : oh

 

 **green paladin** : its nothing

 

 **_green paladin_ ** _went offline_

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:23pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : I’ll finish, with of course, my lovely girlfriend.

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : you made this the greatest months of my life

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : and I hope to have many more with you

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : I love you <3

 

 **i thought you were american** : BABYYYYYYYY

 

 **i thought you were american** : brb fucking CRYIGN bcuz my girlfriend is PERFECT

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : how cute

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : but you forgot to tell us what you’re doing this summer!!

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : ah.

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : well

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : I’m sorry

**_bohemian rhapsody, line 16_ ** _went offline_

**i thought you were american** : OH NO

**_i thought you were american_ ** _went offline_

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:35pm---

 

_Conversation between **pianos** and  **maid**_

****

****

****

**pianos** : are you ok??

 

 **maid** : ah, forgive me.

 

 **maid** : I did not want to say this to everyone

 

 **maid** : but I have no place to stay.

 

 **pianos** : WHAT

 

 **maid** : This is my first summer without doing maid work.

 

 **maid** : Usually, I would stay at the place I am serving.

 

 **pianos** : and your parents?

 

 **maid** : …

 

 **pianos** : ACK im so so sorry that was really insensitive

 

 **maid** : no no, its quite alright.

 

 **maid** : I just

 

 **maid** : have never told anyone this.

 

 **maid** : my father, Kage Tojo, was… violent.

 

 **maid** : when he and my mother divorced, he took his anger out on me.

 

 **pianos** : WHAT!!

 

 **maid** : Last time he saw me…

 

 **pianos** : oh no

 

 **pianos** : don’t tell me that scar I saw was

 

 **maid** : I’m afraid so.

 

 **maid** : I refuse to talk or visit him now.

 

 **maid** : he is also homophobic.

 

 **maid** : if he found out about us…

 

 **maid** : I’m sure he would find his way to you.

 

 **maid** : and I cannot let that happen.

 

 **pianos** : love I never knew

 

 **pianos** : im so sorry holy shit

 

 **maid** : not your fault.

 

 **maid** : I would stay with my mother, but she lives very far away.

 

 **pianos** : then stay with me! :D

 

 **maid** : hm?

 

 **pianos** : my parents are gone for a whole month starting from Saturday and ill be alone after that!!

 

 **pianos** : you can stay at my place!!

 

 **pianos** : and my parents have been super supportive of me ever since I came out!!

 

 **pianos** : but they haven’t met you yet!

 

 **pianos** : they don’t even know I have a girlfriend

 

 **pianos** : they’ll be thrilled to meet you!

 

 **maid** : that is so sweet of you.

 

 **maid** : ill gladly stay over with you, love.

 

 **pianos** : !!!!!!

 

 **pianos** : awesome, this’ll be great!!!

 

 **maid** : kaede, thank you so much.

 

 **maid** : <3

 

 **pianos** : :D

 

 **pianos** : <333

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:23pm---

 

**_The Gay Trio_ **

 

 

 

 **_lesbeen_ ** _is online_

 

 **lesbeen** : remind me to fucking **_m u r d e r_** kage tojo

 

 **_lesbeen_ ** _went offline_

 

 **bisexwhale** : ???????

 

 **gaytm** : cryptid

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:23pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **i thought you were american** : good news everybody!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : can I say it??

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : go ahead.

 

 **i thought you were american** : kirumi’s staying at my place for the summer!!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : !!!!!!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : NICE!!!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yall gonna let us drop by from time to time??

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : I have played Mario cart against everyone EXCEPT for kirumi

 

 **i thought you were american** : yeah yeah ofc!!

 

 **i thought you were american** : bring shu with you

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yepyep >:3

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ALRIGHT NOWW

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : tenko your turn!

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : OK SO

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : I’m gonna be doing more training this summer!! >:D

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : just wanna say, I love my girlfriend more than anyone else,

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : nyehhhh <33333

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : HNNNGGGG <33333

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:38pm---

 

_Conversation between **fuckin weed** and **anime**_

 

 

 

 **fuckin weed** : PLEASE TSU

 

 **fuckin weed** : COME BACK TO THE CHAT

 

 **fuckin weed** : ???PLEAS

 

 **anime** : …fine

 

 **fuckin weed** : YESS

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:39pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : hey guys

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : tsu’s coming back to the chat

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : DON’T bring up the thing she said before leaving k??

 

 **i thought you were american** : you got it!!

 

 **_girl hot. watch naruto_ ** _is online_

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : hey heteros

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : >:OOOOO

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : FUCK YOU JUST CALL US???

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : shrug emoji

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : JUST CAUSE OF THAT

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ITS UR TURN MUGI

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : yall are still doing this???

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : ugh fine

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : im doing nothing this summer, just hanging out

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : gonna go to a convention also

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : nice!!

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : ok soooooo

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : rantaro buddy

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : thanks for being the greatest best friend ever

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : YYEAAHH BOY

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : though its funny cause in my dreams you literally kill me

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : and frame it on kaede

 

 **i thought you were american** : ???WH  


**grape panta on my tiny balls** : rantaro they’re not called dreams when they happen during weed induced comas

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : that’s called hallucination

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : FOR FUCK SAKEEE I DON’T DRINK WEED!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : drink weed

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : drink weed

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : drink weed

 

 **sad little man** : drink weed

 

 **i thought you were american** : drink weed

 

 **magic! magic! uwu** : drink weed

 

 **tiddy sof and warm** : drink weed

 

 **horny! at the church** : drink weed

 

 **build god, then we’ll fuck** : drink weed

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : hnbnhbn bullygni stppop

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSS

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : im gonna continue

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:54pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : lastly there’s maki

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : uhhh

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : I really admire you

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : you’re really tough and awesome

 

 **girl hot. watch naruto** : :))

 

 **sassa ass ass sassy enee enee** : thanks

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:54pm---

 

_Conversation between **fuckin weed** and **anime**_

 

 

 

 **fuckin weed** : smooth

 

 **anime** : FUCK OFFSJSAKJHSALKJHSSJHUJAKHSSK

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 2:55pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : alrighttt

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : ryoma, you go now

 

 **sad little man** : aight

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Thursday, June 14th, 3:01pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **nerf bastion 2k18** : and I’m excited to spend our next year together, as a couple!! :D

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : AWWWWWWW KEEBS

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : ILY

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : that’s a wrap!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : NOW

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : EVERYBODY IN THE LIVING ROOM. RN.

 

 **dick gumshu** : ???

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : MOVIE NIGHTTTT

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : !!!!!!

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : HELL YEAAAHH

 

 **bohemian rhapsody, line 16** : allow me to help set up.

 

 **i thought you were american** : OH ILL HELP OUT TOO!!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : 5 MIN. EVERYBODY. NO EXCEPTIONS

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : ALRIGHT

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Friday, June 15th, 1:11pm---

 

_The REAL Disaster of the Ultimate Academy_

 

 

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : well

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : this is it

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : uh

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : gonna miss you guys

 

 **beeschurger** : gonta as well :(

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : same

 

 **dick gumshu** : well see each other in two months, at least

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : yeah

 

 **i thought you were american** : me and kirumi have left already

 

 **homme d’herbe d’avocat** : gotta catch the plane at like 6am tomorrow so im out

 

 **beeschurger** : gonta’s driver is already driving gonta out to forest!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : me n shu are about to leave

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : he’s gonna introduce me to his uncle! :DD

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : we’ll walk with you!

 

 **nonthreatening feminist boy** : I live close by!! >:D

 

 **dick gumshu** : cool!!

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : so. everyone…

 

 **grape panta on my tiny balls** : see you in two months :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so sad


	19. The Super Dorm and their Super Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does the super dorm do on summer vacation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired
> 
> please read my original series its my pride and joy: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938441/chapters/32085753
> 
> next chapter soon
> 
> Ps, join my discord: https://discord.gg/Rh93KFS

\---Monday, July 30th, 7:39am---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : hello everyone! :DDD

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : how is your summer going?

 

**_Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition_ ** _sent an image_

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : I am currently surrounded by the winged creatures of hell.

 

**_hey wanna touch my socket wrench_ ** _is online_

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : gundham why the F U C K are you covered in birds

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : what a life

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : im in Canada rn

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : and let me ask this

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : how big do you think moose are??

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : the size of a horse, obv

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : think again

 

**_lemme kill myselfie_ ** _sent an image_

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : WHAT THE FUCCKKKKK

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ????????????????????????

 

 **minion goblin** : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : ?????ITS ENORMOUS????????

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : THE HORNED BEASTS OF THE UNDERWORLD!!!!

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : UHHH

 

 **eat shit and die** : WHAT THE HELL

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : :)

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : big dogs

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ** _N,OO_**

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : anyways

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : how’s ur summer going?

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ARE WE JUST GONNA MOVE ON??

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : yes

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : k

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : im staying with my cousin nearby

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : oh he’s looking at my phone

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : “your friends are boring”- direct quote from him

 

 **minion goblin** : that’s rude!!! ill fight him!!! >:(

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : mmmmm I wouldn’t do that

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : he’s 6 foot, black hair, red eyes

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : he’s terrifying

 

 **minion goblin** : peko and maki have red eyes too :II

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : hmmmmm

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : true true

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : both of them are skilled in combat so it might work

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ill ask him

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Monday, July 30th, 7:39am---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : he said no

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

 

\---Monday, July 30th, 4:56pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : just bought 20 packs of delicious mcdonalds mcnuggies!

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : I will now proceed to eat them all in one go

 

 **eat shit and die** : AKANE NO

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : AKANE YES

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : mmm yummy

 

 **eat shit and die** : AKANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : MMMMMMM

 

 **eat shit and die** : AKANe,,,.,.,.,.,. YOUR McNUGGIES,.,,,,.,,.,,

 

**_boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc_ ** _is online_

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : FUCK you guys

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : kaz was laughing so hard he woke me up from my fuCKING NAP

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : oh you’re together rn?

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : he’s at my place

 

**_sausage italiano_ ** _is online_

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : teruteru you’re in fucking Italy but I can STILL sense you about to type some sort of sex joke

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : don’t

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : do you want to keep your bones?

 

 **sausage italiano** : i

 

 **sausage italiano** : uh

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : SILENCED

 

**_what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo_ ** _is online_

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : guys I really need some comforting words rn….

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : chiaki! is everything ok?? D:

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : aww did you loose at fortnite??

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : fucka you basard

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : and no I lost at overwatch

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : ah

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : oh! that is the game you showed me before, yes?

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : yeah

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : I like that game! My favourite character is Reaper! :D

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : of course

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : my DUMB TEAM wouldn’t stay on the PAYLOAD

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : AND OUR HEALER WAS AN ANA!!!!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : who were you playing, chiaki??

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : genji

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : blocked

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : :(((((

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : you deserve it

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : BULLYING

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : @everyone what are your overwatch mains??

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : im assuming everyone has played at least once??

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : soldier’s pretty neat

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : torb!

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : of fucking course

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : I like hanzo

 

 **stab me daddy** : widowmaker

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : valid

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : valid

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : valid

 

 **stab me daddy** : :)

 

 **sausage italiano** : I also like widowmaker >:)

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : unvalid

 

 **sausage italiano** : :(

 

 **literally crying** : I like Mercy! :D

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : THAT’S SO CUTE I MIGHT DIE

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : pharah’s my fav!!

 

 **eat shit and die** : RHEINDHART!

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : you sound like him

 

 **eat shit and die** : I DO! :D

 

 **minion goblin** : d.va

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : I’m shocked.

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : SJHAJHSGHAJHGHJHSAJKHAJHAJ

 

 **minion goblin** : FUCKYOU

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : IBUKI LOVES LUCIO!!! >:D

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : tracer’s pretty neat,,,,,

 

 **electric boogaloo** : Roadhog, as I’m sure you expected.

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : oh nice!! :DD

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : I could never stoop so low as to play a mere mortal game.

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : Hammond

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : Hammond

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : Hammond

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : Hammond

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : Hammond

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : Hammond

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : Hammond

 

 **minion goblin** : Hammond

 

 **electric boogaloo** : Hammond

 

 **stab me daddy** : Hammond

 

 **eat shit and die** : Hammond

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : ….

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : yeah he mains Hammond

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : HE HASN’T EVEN BEEN OUT IN QUICK PLAY FOR A WEEK DUDE!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : gundham

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : you’re valid. I love you

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : !!!!!

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

 

\---Monday, July 30th, 9:09pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : my main is junkrat! :D

 

 **minion goblin** : no one cares

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : understandable, my bad

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:42am---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : do you ever just wake up

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : and like

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : feel an intense infatuation for your s/o

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : no

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : because I feel that every day, at all times!!

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : get on my level!!!

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : YYOU CANT JUST SSAY THATYOU FUCKING IDITIOT

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : god

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : @ **this is how we do things in my country** I love you so much I wanna marry you

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : !!!!!!!!!!

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : <33333!!!!!!!

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : chiaki

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : wouldn’t that also make you a princess??

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : it’s what she deserves.

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : AHGAHJAHGHQYJQHGHJQHJHQGH

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : one day we will rule novoselic together!!

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : id move to novoselic in a heartbeat

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : two strong lesbians, ruling a kingdom? iconique

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : chiaki finally becomes princess peach and lives out her bowser yaoi fantasy

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU BROUGHT THAT UP AGAIN FUCK OFFFFFFF

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : does that make Sonia, Mario?

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : no

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : Sonia is daisy, because everybody knows both peach and daisy are lesbians and in a loving relationship

 

 **minion goblin** : oh absolutely

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : yep

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : bowser and Mario are boyfriends

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : which makes fuyuhiko Mario and kazuichi bowser

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : turn on your location I just wanna fucking talk

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : im in Canada rn photographing Niagara Falls so good luck

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : you just gave him your location

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : ah

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : fuck

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : this is so sad

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : but wouldn’t that make kazuichi the top, if he’s bowser?

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : um??? bowser’s a bottom???

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : **_E  N  O  U  G  H_**

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 5:12am---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : I just thought of something

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : if fuyuhiko’s gonna be the head of the kuzuryu clan one day

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : wouldn’t that also make kazuichi the head???

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** :

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : i

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : oh no

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : OH NO

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : a gay ruled yakuza gang?

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : sounds fun! where do I sign up

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : guess you’ll just have to break up before then

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : DD:>

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : >:(((((((

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : BABY NO I CANTTTT

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : I CRIED WATCHING FUCKING TOY STORY 3 IM NOT FIT FOR THISS

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : EVERYBODY CRIES WATCHING TOY STORY 3 BITCH YOULL BE FINE

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : nothing more romantic than leading the most dangerous crime syndicate in japan with your partner 

 

 

 

//

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 7:03am---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : g,uys I dr,,opped,,,,..,, m,y  _f uc k I ng_   eggos on th fl,,oor

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : aw

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : let me play you a sad despacito on the world’s tiniest alexa

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : that’s not NEARLY as sad as the recent news

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : haven’t yall heard?????

 

 **electric boogaloo** : ???????

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : there’s a new disease called ligma

 

 **electric boogaloo** : what is ligma?

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : ladies and gentlemen,,,,, we got him

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : ligma balls

 

 **electric boogaloo** : i

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : that is so funny can we get 500 like

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : bottom text

 

 **electric boogaloo** : blocked blocked blocked

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : unblock me plz I gotta say something

 

 **electric boogaloo** : unblocked.

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : bitch

 

**_boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc_ ** _went offline_

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : guys my fucking **_E  G  G O  S_**

****

****

****

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 1:02pm---

 

_Conversation between_ **_I'm his_ ** _and_ **he’s mine**

 

 

 **i’m his** : hajimeee im so BORED

 

 **i’m his** : pls come over :((((

 

 **he’s mine** : k im omw

 

 **he’s mine** : :DDDDD

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 1:34pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

**_choke on my ahoge_ ** _sent an image_

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : NAGITO WTF

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : NOBODY NEEDS THIS MUCHFUCKING ORANGE JUICE

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : KSAHJAJASHJAHKJHAJAHJAKJHJHAJ

 

 **hopesexual trash bag** : I bought it for you! :D

 

 **choke on my ahoge** : THAT WAS ONE TIME!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

//

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 3:33pm---

_Conversation between **orage yuice** and **gaemer grill**_

 

 

 **gaemer grill** : hey gays how’s ur date going

 

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:21pm---

 

_Conversation between **orage yuice** and **gaemer grill**_

 

 

 **gaemer grill** : hello??

 

 

 

 

//

 

 

****

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:23pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : hey I texted haj on how his dates goin but he didn’t respond

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : its been almost an hour

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : thoughts?

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : they fuckin

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : mhm

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : for an hour????

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : 10 bucks nagito bottoms

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : nah

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : hajime bottoms 100%

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : FAKE friend hajime tops

 

 **sausage italiano** : you’re being really creepy yk

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : :I

 

 **does it LOOK like akane even WASHes her fucking hair** : :I

 

 **eat shit and die** : :I

 

 **hey wanna touch my socket wrench** : :I

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : :I

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : :I

 

 **electric boogaloo** : :I

 

 **sausage italiano** : i

 

**_sausage italiano_ ** _went offline_

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : damn

 

 **minion goblin** : gone

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : he still hasn’t responded

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : gimme a sec

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:26pm---

 

_Conversation between **bambi for the ps2** and **the secret white m &m**_

 

 

 

 **bambi for the ps2** : hello??????

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:45pm---

 

_Conversation between **bambi for the ps2** and **the secret white m &m**_

 

 

 

 **bambi for the ps2** : HEY

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:50pm---

 

_Conversation between **bambi for the ps2** and **the secret white m &m**_

 

 

 

 **bambi for the ps2** : who tops?

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:51pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : nagito isn’t responding either

 

 **AAAAAAHHHHHHH** : soospeecious!!

 

 **minion goblin** : confirmed

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : any more game theories up in here?

 

 **Hamster Dance: Screamo Edition** : they’ve ascended to the 2nddimension

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : cool

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : anybody else

 

 **this is how we do things in my country** : they were brutally murdered!! :D

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : maybe

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : nonono they’re FUCKING

 

 **what if kirby ate the hat, nintendo** : that’s the most likely answer

 

 **electric boogaloo** : I don’t see why you’re all so obsessed with this.

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : this is the greatest sugondese mystery

 

 **electric boogaloo** : what?? is sugondese????

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : sugondese nuts

 

**_boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc_ ** _went offline_

 

 **electric boogaloo** : h

 

 **lemme kill myselfie** : im begging you to STOP

 

**_boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc_ ** _is online_

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : no

 

**_boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc_ ** _went offline_

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:21pm---

 

_Conversation between **orage yuice** and **gaemer grill**_

 

 

 

 **orage yuice** : AHhhhhh sorry sorry!!

 

 **orage yuice** : me and nagito walked to get smoothies

 

 **orage yuice** : whys the group chat going crazy rn??

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:26pm---

 

_Conversation between **bambi for the ps2** and **the secret white m &m**_

 

 

 **the secret white m &m**: hajime does :)

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 5:13pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

**choke on my ahoge** :  **I F U C KI NG  H A TE Y OU A L L**

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 5:17pm---

 

_Conversation between **mcnuggies** and **mcflurries**_

 

 

 

 **mcflurries** : hey so

 

 **mcflurries** : I owe you ten bucks

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:51pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : looks like the eta dilemma is resolved

 

 **electric boogaloo** : fool me once,

 

 **electric boogaloo** : shame on you.

 

 **electric boogaloo** : fool we twice,

 

 **electric boogaloo** : shame on you.

 

 **electric boogaloo** : fool me thrice,

 

 **electric boogaloo** : you’re full sawcon.

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : the fuck is sawcon??

 

 **electric boogaloo** : sawcon my dick

 

**_electric boogaloo_ ** _went offline_

 

 **boss baby kin’s edgy devianart oc** : **F U C K**

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

\---Tuesday, July 31st, 4:51pm---

 

_Goodbye my Fucking Sanity_

 

 

 

 ** _what if kirby ate the hate, nintendo_** _changed_ ** _**hopesexual trashbag** ’_** _s_ _name to_ ** _**hajime tops**_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha ligma so funnie like and subscribe


	20. PSA Announcement: They're Back, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha whoops im back nyall
> 
> just in time for halloweenie
> 
> short chap but get ready for some upcoming conTENT

**_grape panta on my tiny balls_ ** _changed **15 names**_

**_grape panta on my tiny balls_ ** _changed their name to **underpanta**_

 

 **underpanta** : mothers and fuckers of the jury

 

 **pian-oh no** : great

 

 **pian-oh no** : cool and good

 

 **underpanta** : listen nyall it’s a new year

 

 **underpanta** : and that means. new names

 

 **chaotic het energy** : okay but

 

 **chaotic het energy** : psa announcement: underpanta is a garbage name

 

 **underpanta** : okay, first of all,

 

 **underpanta** : rude

 

 **underpanta** : second,

 

 **underpanta** : the a in psa already stands for announcement

 

 **underpanta** : public service announcement announcement

 

 **chaotic het energy** : fuck

 

 **underpanta** : oh you know what

 

**_underpanta_ ** _changed **chaotic het energy** ’s name to **chaotic dipshit energy**_

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : BITCH

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : biphobia is still alive and real… tragic :’(

 

**_god damn it akechi_ ** _is online_

 

 **god damn it akechi** : @ **everyone** LISTEN UP THOTS

 

**_chia pet_ ** _is online_

 

 **chia pet** : I was. in. the fucking. SHOWER

 

 **god damn it akechi** : why did you GET OUT????

 

 **chia pet** : BECAUSE I GOT PINGED!!

 

 **sex of sex** : HOW DID YOU HEAR THE PING FROM THE SHOWER????

 

 **chia pet** : I HAD MY PHONE WITH ME DUH

 

 **sleepy weepy** : y

 

 **sleepy weepy** : YOU BRING YOUR PHONE INTO THE SHOWER?????

 

 **everybody knows im a lesbian** : THE???? FUCK????

 

 **sex of sex** : oh rantaro honey you gay disaster

 

 **god damn it akechi** : ANYWAYS

 

 **god damn it akechi** : PSA ANNOUNCEMENT

 

 **underpanta** : you have got to be fucking kidding me

 

 **god damn it akechi** : JUST WANTED TO LET NYOU KNOW THAT I NOW HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND

 

 **god damn it akechi** : THAT IS ALL

 

 **chia pet** : HOLY FUUUUUUUUUCK

 

 **pian-oh no** : HELL FUCKIN YEAH GET THAT BREAD

 

 **taped to ryomas wall** : I am going to assume you mean…?

 

 **god damn it akechi** : @ **assassin’s teeth** @ **chaotic dipshit energy** ma loves

 

 **god damn it akechi** : more maki but yknow ejeehheeh

 

 **panic! at the everywhere** : the bi energy is strong here

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : <333!!!!!!

 

 **assassin’s teeth** : …<3

 

 **god damn it akechi** : you can read about our journey of love in “Three Petals”, new fic coming soon to ao3!

 

 **pian-oh no** :

 

 **everybody knows im a lesbian** : i

 

 **underpanta** : wouldn’t be tsumugi if she didn’t say some weird fucking shit once in a while

 

 **underpanta** : ANYWHOOOO

 

 **underpanta** : gays!! its Halloween!

 

 **underpanta** : whatre yall dressing up as

 

 **pian-oh no** : sexy piano

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : the letter b

 

 **chia pet** : bread

 

 **assassin’s teeth** : my slowly deteriorating sanity

 

 **god damn it akechi** : Minecraft

 

 **bennis** : t

 

 **panic! at the everywhere** : Minecraft also

 

 **sex of sex** : snas underta

 

 **god** : satan!!!!

 

 **underpanta** : I missed you guys

 

 **bennis** : oh hey ive got a psa announcement also

 

 **underpanta** : never mind fuck you guys

 

 **bennis** : soon it will have been 1 year since I started dating gonta so

 

 **bennis** : jot that down

 

 **pian-oh no** : holy fuckign shit

 

 **pian-oh no** : MOMENTOUS OCCASION

 

 **fyreflyes** : excited!!!!

 

 **god** : this occasion is special!

 

 **god** : let us release a colony of termites into the dorms to celebrate!!!!

 

 **pian-oh no** : lets. not

 

 **underpanta** : OH SHIT YOU GUYS HALLOWEEN PARTY

 

 **underpanta** : WHOSE GOIIIING

 

 **assassin’s teeth** : literally everyone since the first hour is mandatory attendance

 

 **underpanta** : ok fair

 

 **chia pet** : hey kokishu you guys gonna make out again

 

 **underpanta** : fuck right off ranty go stick a metal pipe up your coooooooterrrrrr

 

 **sex of sex** : he already does

 

 **sex of sex** : hes in a relationship with keebs after all

 

 **underpanta** : HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

 

 **panic! at the everywhere** : MIU

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : I think im gonna cry

 

 **god damn it akechi** : INDECEENT

 

 **chia pet** : JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MIU

 

 **you, robot** : I DO NO SUCH THING! I WOULD NEVER HURT RANTARO! I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD INSINUATE THAT MIU!

 

**_you, robot_ ** _went offline_

 

 **sex of sex** : oh shit

 

 **sex of sex** : did i… actually upset him

 

 **underpanta** : no hes fine

 

 **panic! at the everywhere** : are. you sure

 

 **underpanta** : he cant cry

 

 **underpanta** : hes a robot

 

 **chia pet** : you’ll be the one crying if you keep insulting my boyfriend

 

 **underpanta** : haha lmao

 

**_chia pet_ ** _went offline_

 

 **underpanta** : w

 

 **underpanta** : wait shit

 

 **sex of sex** : dead

 

 **god damn it akechi** : kick his ass

 

 **underpanta** : I guess im uwu pewished

 

 **underpanta** : lmao everybody press f in the cha

 

**_underpanta_ ** _went offline_

 

 **panic! at the everywhere** : WHAT WAS THAT NOISE

 

 **everybody knows im a lesbian** : what just

 

 **sex of sex** : HOLY FUUUU

 

 **sex of sex** : RANTARO JUST KICKED DOWN KOKICHIS DOOR

 

 **sex of sex** : OFF ITS HINGES

 

 **sleepy weepy** : SJHJJHSHJSHSK

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : OH S

 

 **pian-oh no** : RANTAR O

 

**_mum_ ** _is online_

 

 **mum** : hello all

 

 **mum** : I would just like to say, if you need any help with costumes, I am ready to assist.

 

 **sex of sex** : MOM HOLY FU CK

 

 **god damn it akechi** : RANTARO IS GONNA KILL KOKICHI

 

 **chaotic dipshit energy** : HE KICKED DOWN HIS DOOOOOOOR

 

 **mum** :

 

 **mum** : ah.

 

 **mum** : I see you all managed to pick your own Halloween costumes.

 

 **mum** : you all seem to be going as clowns.

 

 **pian-oh no** : that’s my fucking girlfriend!!!!

 

**_underpanta_ ** _is online_

 

 **underpanta** : m om help m

 

**_underpanta_ ** _went offline_

**god** : and kokichi died that day

 

 **god** : this has been a psa announcement

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> try and guess all the names. do iit
> 
> GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR CHAPTERS PLEASE,,,,


	21. Junko, Mukuro and Hiro go to IKEA and That's Literally It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Japan have IKEA? Whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote all of this is comic sans and. it actually really helps
> 
> im literally so bored of writing this fic but im still gonna go on until 50 chapters at most hehe rofl!!!!

**\--Sunday, December 16 th, 1:09pm--**

\--Hellish Havoc Group Chat--

 

 

 **junkrat** : hey

 

 **junkrat** : hey

 

 **junkrat** : hEy

 

 **smashmouth** : what the hell u want

 

 **junkrat** : okokok so

 

 **junkrat** : I went to ikea with hiro and muku

 

 **junkrat** : but I cant fucking find him

 

 **rockruff** : WH

 

 **k a w a i i** : since when is there an ikea here??????

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : HOW do you lose a WHOLE ASS PERSON??

 

 **pidge** : also why are you at ikea with hiro

 

 **junkrat** : cuz hes the only one who volunteered to come with me and muku

 

 **junkrat** : yall are fake friens

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : I would have gone if I knew you were going to ikea!!! that place rules

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : I met god in an ikea once

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : shes chill

 

 **k a w a i i** : hey while ur there can u try their meatballs??? I wanna know if the legends are true

 

 **smashmouth** : IKEA??? HAS FOOD???????

 

 **junkrat** : guys ur supposed to be helping ME FIND HIRO

 

 **alpha and omega’s three million sequels** : HOW TF WE SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : AGAIN,, HOW ON FUCK DID YOU /LOSE/ HIRO

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : HES LIKE 7FT TALL

 

 **junkrat** : one second he was behind me, then he WASN’T

 

 **junkrat** : ITS NOT MY FAULT

 

 **fucktherulez** : when you lose someone at a store, it is best to go to the front desk and ask to make an announcement!

 

 **junkrat** : ohohoooho smart! thank you taka ur the only bitch I respect in this house

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : don’t call him a bitch. bitch

 

 **junkrat** : bitch

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : bitch

 

 **junkrat** : bitch

 

 **pidge** : battle of the bitches

 

 **mukky** : so. taka

 

 **mukky** : that turned out to be bad advice

 

 **mukky** : she just leaned into the intercom and said “you’re in gods hands now, hiro”

 

 **pidge** : KJSJSJKSJKJKSJSJSJK

 

 **rockruff** : oh…. no

 

 **junkrat** : aaaaaand

 

 **junkrat** : we found him

 

 **junkrat** : I heard a scream from across the store

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : unbelievable

 

 

//

 

 

**\--Sunday, December 16 th, 1:56pm--**

\--Hellish Havoc Group Chat--

 

 **junkrat** : I am. a fool

 

 **smashmouth** : this isn’t news but what happened

 

 **junkrat** : fuck u

 

 **junkrat** : im lost

 

 **rockruff** : WHAT

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : god fucking damn it junko

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : WHERE’S MUKURO

 

 **mukky** : I literally have no fucking clue where I am

 

 **mukky** : one second im standing next to junko

 

 **mukky** : and then the next there are. baths everywhere

 

 **junkrat** : everywhere I look,,, fucking PILLOWS

 

 **junkrat** : and not a single person in sight

 

 **junkrat** : lmfao im really about to die in this ikea yall

 

 **fucktherulez** : the best thing to do when you are lost is stand completely still and let people find you!

 

 **junkrat** : hmm

 

 **mukky** : your advice didn’t go over so well last time

 

 **junkrat** : aight lets try it then

 

 **mukky** : where are the fucking employees

 

 **mukky** : did they just evaporate

 

 **junkrat** : oh I can hear something!!

 

 **junkrat** : hmm… getting louder….

 

 **junkrat** : footsteps?? sounds like running??

 

 **junkrat** : oh wait

 

 **junkrat** : OH FUCK OH SH

 

 **junkrat** : WSJWKJKJKJK

 

**_junkrat_ ** _went offline_

 

 **pidge** : okay I think junko like. actually died

 

 **rockruff** : GUYS OH NO

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : I am… concerned

 

 **pidge** : presse effe inne ethe chatte

 

 **mukky** : what the hell

 

 **mukky** : oh I found someone!!!

 

 **k a w a i i** : don’t die like junko did!!

 

 **mukky** :

 

 **mukky** : w

 

 **mukky** : its mr kizakura

 

 **mukky** :

 

 **mukky** : drinking whiskey straight from the bottle

 

 **pidge** : that’s a rare pokemon, you gotta befriend it

 

 **pidge** : throw a berry at it

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : that’s god

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : show respect

 

 **smashmouth** : kyoko why is your dad getting drunk in an ikea

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : hes not my dad and honestly? no clue

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : what the fuck is going on

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : hiro is lost in an ikea, mukuro met god and junko fucking died

 

_**im hella high my guy** is online_

 

 **im hella high my guy** : hi guys. its me

 

 **smashmouth** : hey hiro!!! is junko like. okay

 

 **im hella high my guy** : ya I just really scared her

 

 **im hella high my guy** : shes still laying on the floor

 

 **im hella high my guy** : but hey! good news

 

 **im hella high my guy** : im an employee of ikea now

 

 **mondos bizarre adventure** : ?????????

 

 **rockruff** : HOW??

 

 **im hella high my guy** : I just got approached by an employee and all of a sudden. I work here

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : Christ

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : ill beat you up later for killing junko

 

 **junkrat** : im fine im fine dw

 

 **junkrat** : dawwww you were worried about me <33333

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : die <333333

 

 **junkrat** : okay im getting out of this ikea

 

 **junkrat** : I cant even remember what I came here for anyways

 

 **my suspicions are confirmed** : you guys were there for like 3 hours

 

 **junkrat** : well shit

 

 **junkrat** : okay lets go

 

 **junkrat** : we just. gotta find

 

 **junkrat** : an

 

 **junkrat** : exit

 

 **junkrat** : fuck

 

//

 

 

**\--Sunday, December 16 th, 3:43pm--**

\--Hellish Havoc Group Chat--

 

 **mukky** : JUNKO WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

 

//

 

 

**\--Sunday, December 16 th, 3:57pm--**

\--Hellish Havoc Group Chat--

 

 **junkrat** : so i. may have left mukuro at the ikea

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : its too late for her.

 

 **Marie Antoinette** : shes in gods hands now

 

 **mukky** : motherfucker

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aoi and sakura are on a donut date, toko is hanging out with komaru
> 
> thats my excuse for not putting them in this chapter. I tooootally didn't. forget th,
> 
>  
> 
> please comment. please its literally the only thing keeping me going  
> also I need chapter suggestions,,


End file.
